Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open. The crystal ball gets cloudy.
Well, it has been a few weeks. Last time we met was before Memorial Day weekend. Lots of things have happened since then. I went to Block Island, Rhode Island (which is about as modern as its website) for my cousin’s wedding. My cousin is an Irish-Jew and he married a Jamaican girl. They were both in the minority fraternity/sorority in college. Let’s just say the single, white females were NOT out in full force. And, of course the hottest one there caused me to have a major moral dilemma. But, I’m from Kentucky… and we’re not blood related… so, whatever. Then, last weekend, Bru’s sister got married at Keeneland. Yeah, you can guess what that was like. The great thing was the reception was in the same room that my friend, Regis, and I once went to the 2003 Taste of the Bluegrass. It was $75/plate and by “went to,” I mean we snuck in. Oh well, we had a great time. (Smoothron note: I had this great opening typed up until the internet crapped out on me. I don’t have the effort to re-write. Let me say again, she is NOT blood related.) Let’s do this…
Phil Mickelson will play golf and that is awesome. Look, I know I usually (try to) be funny or whatever on here. But, Mickelson is playing golf during a time when his family is going through a terrible time. We’re all praying that Amy Mickelson gets better soon and keeps being a cougar for many years to come.
Yankee fans and Met fans will brawl all weekend. Both teams just lost big series to their biggest division rivals. The Yankees haven’t beaten the Red Sox all year. The Mets are starting to look like the ’08 A’s with all the guys they’re putting on the DL. The Yankees new stadium is giving up more HRs than a 2SL prom date. Met fans are born angry. The economy is bad. El Nino is back. Yeah, it’s going to be a sight to see in NY this weekend. I almost wish I would have gone, but… nah.
Pete Carroll will be invincible. One coach has a former player that is accused of receiving over $300k while playing college athletics. Another coach gives a guy a thousand bucks. Who would you think would be let go (Yeah, I’m sure he “resigned”) first? Well, Tim Floyd lost his job this week and Pete Carroll will continue to be the face of USC. Good job, Tim Floyd! I would like to announce my candidacy for the next Head Coach at USC. I will not cheat, I will let Carroll be the BMOC and will lose 30 40 lbs. for the USC coeds.
Carrie Prejean will not have much to do. Oh, poor Carrie. She lost her Miss California crown this week, now what the hell is she supposed to do? I could think of a few things I would love to do with her. Anyways, let me ask one question. If you are gay (not that there’s anything wrong with it), do you really want Perez Hilton championing any cause you have? Seriously? That guy? Whatever, I will marry the former Miss California tomorrow.
Phish will rock at Bonnaroo. Yes, I love Phish. I really wanted to go to Bonnaroo, but there’s just something about not showering for four days that I can’t handle. I also really like my cell phone, my TV, my computer and my bed. I almost wish I would have gone, but… nah. (Also, don’t know if you like Phish or not, but this clip below is sick. Flat out nasty!)
The Nationwide Series will run in Kentucky. One would think that NASCAR and the Commonwealth of Kentucky would be a match made in heaven. Sadly, it isn’t so. I have a possible idea for why that is. Because I live in KY and haven’t heard anything about the race until today! Granted, I’m not the biggest NASCAR fan in the world, but you would think people would be abuzz talking about a race less than 90 minutes from my house. Nope, but everyone can sure tell you the two guys who are off the UK Basketball team as of yesterday (Matt Pilgrim and Kevin Galloway).
The Lakers won’t win the NBA Title. These predictions are just for the weekend, remember? Yes, the Magic will get one more win (even without Mickael Pietrus, the dirty Frenchy) on Sunday night. That will allow more money for ABC and the NBA and also allow the Lakers to celebrate their title in LA. We will then get to hear all the Kobe-lovers talk about how great he is. And he is great, but he’s still not (and never will be) Jordan. Let’s not forget, Kobe doesn’t have the signature shot in his career like MJ has about 15. Seriously, try and think of the greatest Kobe shot ever. Um… yeah. Now, think of the greatest MJ shot. Over Russell in ’98? Over Ehlo in ’89? Hell, you could even throw in the one from the ’82 NCAA Title game. Chew on that, Kobe-lovers.
There you go. I have been stealing money all day at work, so I better do something for the last hour or so that I’m here (yes, it’s 12:30PM as I type this). And, please remember, be better! (And, yes, I do realize that the ladies today are all blondes. I don’t discriminate. Especially to you… because, you know… we ARE NOT blood related. Thanks.)
Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open. The crystal ball gets cloudy.
Well it’s been about a month since the last FWP. Keeneland has come and gone, baseball has started, and the Pudge Cup is off to a rousing start (unless you shot over 110 the first two weeks). It’s about time we looked into the magic ball and gave you fine folks some visions. Pudge will assist on this one.
The Derby will come and go and no animals will be harmed during the filming. That’s right, no horses are going down this year. With all the bad press following horse racing the last couple of years by the animal activist people expect trainers and event staff to play it safe this year. No horses will be running with a bum leg and I don’t think the jockeys will push as hard. Then again, who am I to predict that, it’s Derby time and all Hell is likely to break loose. If you venture into that wretched mess this weekend enjoy the scenery and take your umbrella.
The A’s will be back near .500 at the end of the weekend. Hey, it’s just a hunch but I think they’ll take at least two from the Mariners on the road. Dana Eveland will take his bearded self in tonight and throw a good game to start off the series. After that, it’ll be a war but the division leading Mariners are due to flub one up. Plus the A’s need some good news some time this week.
Ricky Hatton will own a small Phillipino in the ring. We don’t blog about boxing nearly as much as we wish we could on this site but this is the biggest fight of the year. Pacquiao has been good in the past but he just doesn’t seem as hungry as he was in the past. Hatton will throw with anyone and I’m predicting Hatton will lay the lumber on Mah-Mah-Manny on Saturday.
The Celtics will win game 7 in 4 overtimes at home. Are you serious with this series? I stop by TGC’s last night after softball thinking I can watch 7 minutes of basketball and go home. Wrong! This series has seen about 93 overtimes in 6 games and game 7 shouldn’t disappoint. Give me the Celtics in the Garden in a big game 7 any day. That is unless Salmons goes off again. In that case give me the Celts in 6 overtimes.
Billy Gillispie will hang around Lexington long after his time is over and still attempt to sleep with your girlfriend. Rumors of Billy sightings are almost more rampant than when he was initially hired around Lexington right now. People see him at Two Keys for God’s sake! Where next Billy? Perhaps you’ll stop in at McArthy’s for a Guiness? Maybe a little trip to the Tin Roof? The man may be on stage at the Penguin this weekend, who knows? All you do know is that Coach Cal better keep his daughter far away from this man.
That’s all this week folks. SmoothRon is gearing up for Keeneland tomorrow for Derby, TGC is on the road to K-Town for a celebration, and 2SL is celebrating life as usual. You should do the same and have a fantastic Derby weekend.
The air is warming up, the fairways are turning green, the snow is gone (finally), and baseball is around the corner. All of this can mean only one thing. Pounding the pavement.
I want to take a minute to outline the (ever-changing) APIAS Summer Road Tour 2009 schedule. You’ll remember past tours to Detriot (again), Bristol, and of course Keeneland. This year’s tour will include venues old and new.
And down the stairs he falls!
Not to take away from the preview Smoothron will no doubt write next week, but the first order of business once you switch your thermostat from heat to A/C is, of course, Keeneland in Lexington, KY. The final few stages of Kentucky Derby prep racing take place April 3-24. The majors of this meet are the $750K Blue Grass Stakes on April 11, and the $350K Lexington Stakes on April 18. Burgoo, spirits, short dresses, big hats, bo… sorry, Smooth will get you the preview at a later date.
Gotta love the 2 block walk to the stadium.
The next order of business will be back to the land of Leyland. Fuzzybuzz and myself will be jetsetting (read: Dodge Durang0) to Michigan for the Yankees-Tigers series April 27-30. I don’t care if the Greektown Casino did file bankruptcy, they should better mark their Roulette tables.
I know there's a Jimmy John's around here somewhere...
Soon after that, on May 2, the whole crew can be found on 4th street in Louisville under the Twin Spires. It’ll be this cowboy’s first time to the Derby, but not the first beer on 4th Street. Hell, I might even catch a concert or two. Maybe a nice balcony bike ride. No promises or apologies either day. (Race you to York?)
See you there.
Other potential stops include Richmond, VA, Atlanta, GA, Austin, TX, San Diego, CA, Omaha, NE, Cincinnati, OH and Knoxville, TN. Feel free to weigh in.
Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open. The crystal ball gets cloudy.
Hooray! It’s Conference Tournament Championship weekend! The Big Six Conferences will all crown their champions by 6PM on Sunday and then Seth Davis will be able to rip apart every team in the NCAA Tournament except for Duke (he’s sure they’re going to make a big run this year). I like to look at this weekend as just a warmup for next. Hell, I worked yesterday and am writing this from work right now. If you think I’m going to work next Thursday or Friday, you must be as drunk as I’m going to be in about six hours. Thank Mitch for the interweb, though, as I was able to listen to the Cats take down the Rebels yesterday. Hopefully, I’ll be out of this place soon enough and can stop getting paid to blog (unintentionally). This is a great weekend for all those who like to talk shit about things that don’t really matter. Sure, Kansas, Oklahoma, Connecticut and Pittsburgh all got knocked out of their conference tournaments before ever winning a game. Does that hold any weight at all? Aren’t all of those teams still going to the Dance? Even with those losses, it wouldn’t be a shock to see any of them in the Final Four. Conference tournaments for BCS schools are all about money and are superfluous at best. Is it fun to watch some good games? Sure! Can you tell me who won the 2006 Big XII Tourney (without checking out Wiki)? I didn’t think so. Watch the games, but don’t get your hopes up or down because of how well your team plays.
While this may be a basketball-heavy weekend, Round 2 of the WBC gets going, Tiger is golfing again and we all gear up for the only day of the year where drinking green beer would be encouraged. Yep…
Oklahoma State will win the Big XII Tournament; Lexington, KY will explode. It’s no secret that UK fans are less than pleased with Coach Billy Gillispie right now. The crazed fanbase is ready to hire anyone with UK ties (Pat Riley’s name has been mentioned which is just inane). What do you know? Travis Ford coaches the Oklahoma State Cowboys who just beat a top 10 team! If you don’t think coaching for a job in Lexington is motivating enough for Ford, you were never at Redmon’s on Thursday nights when Ford coached at Eastern Kentucky.
Wake Forest will win the ACC Tournament. They are definitely the most athletic team in the conference with Ty Lawson out for UNC. Duke is obviously a bunch of whiny bitches who don’t have the cajones to play well three days in a row. Lawson’s injury will be too much for UNC to overcome (have you seen Larry Drew II play PG for them…yikes!) and Roy-Boy will not want to get anyone hurt already knowing he has a #1 seed locked up.
The Netherlands will fall back to reality when it comes to baseball. Look, it was a hell of a run. No one not named Fjord thought they could beat the Domincans (twice!) to make it from Pool D to Pool 2 (See what they did there? Lettered Pools to Numbered Pools. Nice.), but the run ends at Pool 2. The USA and Venezuela emerge from the almighty Pool 2 to take on Japan and Korea in Pool Triangle… or something like that.
No one will know the Pac-10 Tournament is actually going on, but Arizona State will win anyway. How bad is basketball out West this year? The Pac-10 has two teams in the top 15 and they both suck. They just happened to have beaten all the really bad teams out West to move up the rankings. Ugh, moving on.
Few will be awake to see Wisconsin win the Big 10 Tournament. Oh, sorry, I just woke back up. I accidentally turned on the Michigan St./Minnesota game. The game clock read 3:35 left to play and the score was 27-26, so I guess it was the 2nd half. Bo Ryan is the best coach in the conference and will find a way to get his team into the Dance. Raise your hand if you like defense! Actually, put both hands up, it’s better for your defensive stance.
Tiger Woods!!! Wooooo!!!! The sound of schoolgirls yelping was actually that of golf executives when they heard El Tigre would be playing this weekend. Sadly, he’s tied for 40th right now and I’m pretty sure that doesn’t put him in the final pairing on Sunday. Bru still owes me his car.
Villanova will beat West Virginia in the Big East Championship game. Louisville is over-hyped and Syracuse will be dead tonight so both will lose. Jay Wright is a hell of a coach, Bob Huggins is a hell of a drinker; Wright wins on Saturday night because Huggins will be thirsty. Real quick tangent, just because a basketball game is long does not mean it is great. If a baseball game goes 20 innings, do people call it the greatest game ever? No, because you usually see pitchers that are terrible and would never play in any other circumstance. Thus, in a basketball game, you see players making plays they would never make because they are exhausted and have no energy. They are not playing at a high level and the quality of the game goes down. UK/Duke is still the greatest game ever played and Syracuse/UConn might crack the top 15. Tangent… out!
LSU will win the SEC Tournament and then Billy Gillispie will sleep with your girlfriend. Look, everyone knows every team in the SEC has flaws. Kentucky is inconsistent. Florida doesn’t have consistent inside play. Tennessee’s guards couldn’t guard me. LSU lost twice last week. South Carolina has Devan Downey and… I can’t think of anyone else on their team. Mississippi State is coached by Rick Stansbury. Auburn is coached by Jeff Lebo. Alabama’s coach is afraid to yell at the refs because his mommy might get mad. LSU won more games all year, so hell, I’ll take them to win it. Also, ladies, watch out, this could be BCG’s last SEC Tourney. He’ll be looking to go out with a bang! Get it, “bang?”
Okay, I’m at work at UK/LSU is about to start. I better start getting sick in a hurry so I can get the hell out of here. Have a fabulous weekend you beautiful bastards.
The only thing this has to do with sports is that a college softball team was practicing. The only thing that this has to do with this web site is that 2SL will be doing 18 months in a Southern California pen.
Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open. The crystal ball gets cloudy.
The Super Bowl is Sunday, what else can I say? Well, actually, can I even say that? Apparently, NBC and its advertisers are the only people who can actually use the words, “Super Bowl.” That is one of the single dumbest things ever. As if when ABC advertises its Wipeout Bowl: Cheerleaders vs. Couch Potatoes to come on, “…after the big game on Sunday night,” no one will know what the hell they’re talking about. Oh, you mean they’re NOT talking about the North Carolina State at Virginia Tech women’s college basketball game on Sunday afternoon (FoxSportsSouth)? Seriously? That isn’t the big game they’re talking about? Even dumber than that may be that churches supposedly aren’t allowed to advertise, “Super Bowl Parties.” You don’t have to like church to know that’s idiotic. The “big game” isn’t the only thing going on this weekend, though. UK hosts South Carolina, Tennessee hosts GameDay and Florida, the most unlikely trend in America takes over and there are hot women to ogle. Sweet. Yep…
Vol fans will need directions to Thompson-Boling Arena. When most Knoxvillians (Knoxvillites?) heard GameDay was coming to town, they figured the football Vols were so important that ESPN would send them down just to be there. Sadly, they were mistaken and are now left to have to wake up early to go inside (and have to sneak Jack in). All the hoopla aside, the Vols desperately need a win. They’ve lost two in a row at home and four out of their last five there. I remember a trip to the Winch last year when the Gators came to K-town and got their ass run. Hopefully, the same will happen again (for TGC’s health’s sake). Vols 84 Gators 73.
The Snuggie will take over the world. Are you people fucking serious? The fucking Snuggie? That thing has sold 4 MILLION products? This must be a damn joke. Hmm… a warm thing with sleeves? Ever try a sweater? Or putting on a robe backwards? Who in the hell wants to look like a druid while sitting around watching TV? I am absolutely stunned. I have nothing else to say, ever, about the fucking Snuggie.
The APIAS headquarters might not be covered in ice. Ice and snow really suck, unless you’re in school and you get out because there is so much. Sadly, your APIAS contributors are all past their schooling prime… except of course for 2SL. Everyone’s favorite student teacher has done nothing all week. Congratulations.
The Cardinals will win the Super Bowl. There is no stopping Kurt Warner and Jesus. Let’s look at this analytically; Florida won the first championship of the year. Who is their media darling? Tim Tebow, who loves Jesus. Who is the Cardinals’ media darling? Kurt Warner, who loves Jesus. Take the Cardinals on the moneyline and make yourself a lot of money. Just don’t forget to give 10% of your winnings to JC.
The temptation of The Uninvited will not be strong enough to get you to set down your beer. Can I be honest? I have no clue anything about this movie, except for one thing. Arielle Kebbel (the future Mrs. Smoothron) stars in it. The Uninvited is not good enough to watch at the theaters, but if Arielle’s other films are any indication, it will be great for a Sunday afternoon. I don’t like to admit this too often, but John Tucker Must Die is strangely re-watchable. Arielle Kebbel is sexy, look at the picture, then let’s move on.
UConn will be the next team to claim the #1 spot in college hoops. A game against Providence is the only thing standing between the Huskies and the top spot in all the land. Of course, they go to Louisville on Monday and will probably give the ranking back up, but it will be fun for the four hours they have it.
Johan Santana will get a little more ready for Spring Training. Baseball is almost here. The nights of a patio full of guys, laptops (labtops) on their… laps, beers in their hands, watching their favorite baseball team on MLB.tv (using the same username) and enjoying life are almost upon us. I can’t wait.
Something will seem like a good idea, it won’t be. Sometimes, I get upset when I drink. It might be a sporting event gone awry, running out of beer or an ex-girlfriend which makes me irate; but it happens. Often, I like to release this anger, and my old phone (The Tank 2005-2008 R.I.P.) took the brunt of my ire. Sadly, I got a new phone which probably won’t do so well if I throw it across the living room. Last weekend, a jump-kick to my recliner seemed like the best idea at 1AM. One broken elbow (is that even possible??) later… Whoops.
Billy Gillispie will make fun of your hat, then sleep with your girlfriend. Remember when those white hats were really in style for frat boys? Did they go out of frat style? The “cool” ones were from Oregon State (Beavers), Fordham (FU) and South Carolina (Cocks). I had none. The Cocks come to Lexington tomorrow for their annual beatdown in KY. Darrin Horn (Tates Creek alum) will not enjoy his first trip as a Cock to Rupp. The Cats are coming off a terrible effort against Ole Miss the other night and are looking to take some aggression out by beating the Cocks handily. Watch out after the game, as always, for BCG. He’s especially ready to rail your girlfriend after a loss. Who the hell would leave Columbia, SC anyway? Go to the Horseshoe, play your guitar and smoke a bowl… not that I’ve ever done that.
It could be one long weekend if you plan on drinking tonight (you know, because it’s Friday), all day tomorrow (Cats @ 3PM, Vols @ 9PM) and Super Sunday (Super Sunday). Enjoy it all!
FMCBCP is a stupid acronym I just came up with. When it’s not football season, we do a FWP (Fearless Weekend Predictions) post every Friday where one of us predicts what will transpire over the upcoming sports weekend. Well, College Basketball is about to start so we needed to do FMCBCP (Fearless Men’s College Basketball Conference Predictions) to document all our picks for the 2008-09 season. I wanted to do a post that would feature a comprehensive coverage of all the conferences together. EDay then reminded me that might be a 25,000 word post. Since most of our readers (and contributors for that matter) have the attention span of a three year-old monkey, we decided to break each down by conference. We’re only doing major conferences, so don’t whine when you don’t see the MEAC being featured. We’ll be picking conference winners, POYs, COYs, FOYs, biggest disappointments and number of tournament teams. As always, this will be done in a way that only APIAS.net can.
Lastly and most importantly, the SEC…
SEC Champion
Bru’s Pick: Tennessee
TGC’s Pick: I’ll assume for the moment that you mean Regular Season and take the Vols. If you mean tourney champion, and you’ll give me the field at anything better than 1-to-10 I’d love to have your money. But I think Billy D gets it righted (whited?) before March, so I’ll take the Gaytors to win the tourney… but I’m sure we’ll be promoing that anyway. So. Vols.
EDay’s Pick: Tennessee; The guys play together and have a ton of talent. A patient
team may be able to beat them by making better decisions, but I don’t think
there is one of them in the SEC with enough talent to beat UT.
Smoothron’s Pick: Arkansas; Is it going to be a trendy pick? No, but I’ll make it anyway. First off, they play in the West, so they get two games apiece against that crappy division. Second, they’re coached by John Pelphrey, the next coach of the University of Kentucky Wildcats (at least that’s what my drunk friend Will said via text message about 4AM last weekend after the VMI debacle).
More SEC (and a possible commentary on that other SEC) after the jump. (more…)
TAGMAT (They are giving money away today!) is a weekly column done every week by APIAS.net’s resident gambling addict, Smoothron. This site in no way advocates gambling, especially excessively. Smoothron’s degenerate friend, who will refer to as Casino Bobby also gives you his picks for the week. If we can tell you anything, bet against both of them and you should be able to retire within the first month of the season.
Here we are, roughly halfway through the college football season. Wow, it seems like just yesterday that it was that first Saturday of CFB… beer at 9AM, breakfast at 10AM, drunk by 12PM and bed by 3AM the next day. Oh the glorious! Last week, we talked about realizing teams for what they were and seeing them for what they are; and somehow it actually worked (I’ll take 3-1 any weekend). At any rate, things are shaping up and we can start looking at possible National Champions, from a gambling perspective of course. I’ve said many times that future bets are for suckers, but if you can’t tell, I’m a big sucker. Here’s a list of teams that could win the title and their odds as of today to win it.
#1 Texas (6/1): Were the Longhorns very impressive last Saturday against OU? Absolutely, but they still have a really tough schedule ahead. They could win out, but in the climate of today’s college football, it’s highly unlikely. Their best shot is to lose in the next week or two, get their loss then try and bounce back. I still think Mack Brown can find a way to screw this up and the Longhorns end up in the Cotton Bowl. Save your cash.
#2 Alabama (3/1): Nick Saban has obviously proved he is the man when it comes to recruiting and coaching, but is it too much too fast for the young Tide? I say yes as ‘Bama still has three tough games left and a possible fourth. Tennessee (rivalry), at LSU (there is no doubt this game will be at night) and Auburn (rivalry) all could be a bump in the road before the SEC Championship. This is a really short price for a team that plays fifteen true freshmen. My bet is that the Tide lose and don’t ever make it to Atlanta.
#3 Penn State (7/2): JoePa has one Wolverine fan and many others believe in the Nittany Lions this year. The HD or 3D offense they’re running is clicking and the defense looks just nasty. The country shudders at the thought of a Big 10 team playing in the title game again, but if PSU gets past OSU next weekend everyone’s worst fears may be realized. I wish they had better odds, but JoePa probably has a few more tricks up his sleeve. The Nittany Lions aren’t a bad bet to get there, but chances are they (like OSU the last two years) couldn’t compete against the elite teams.
#5 Florida (6/1): Yes, the Gators got beat by Ole Miss. They also just hung 51 on the feared and revered LSU defense. If Tebow and the Florida offense keep things rolling like that, the SEC better watch out. I say the revenge factor gets them past Georgia and the rest of the schedule isn’t too difficult until the SEC Championship. Florida has championship experience from two years ago. I picked the Gators two months ago and am not going to change my pick now. Keep in mind they have the best odds of any team that I think can win it and this is Smoothron’s pick.
#6 USC (3/1): Pete Carroll has his squad looking invincible again after the trip-up at Oregon St. USC probably has the easiest schedule of the bunch as well, but I think that loss to the Beavers ends up hurting them too much in the polls. If you compare one-loss USC and Florida teams at the end of the year, the Gators are going to win that battle pretty easily. Florida will have gone through the brutal SEC East, played LSU and played another elite team in the SEC Championship. USC will have beaten at most two ranked teams. Advantage Gators.
Yes, I just took Florida over Penn State to win the National Championship. Also, I don’t want to hear anything about Oklahoma, Texas Tech, Missouri, Georgia or any team not in a major conference. Oklahoma is banking on Texas to lose twice in conference just to get to the Big XII title game, Texas Tech couldn’t guard Michigan’s offense, Missouri is a joke, Georgia is going to lose another one or two and all teams not in BCS conferences please see UGA vs Hawaii in the Sugar Bowl. Rant over, let’s get to this week’s picks. (more…)
We have been hinting at this for about a month now, and the big site news is here. APIAS.net pal Brubaker is joining the fold! He brings some credibility to the site as he: a) has an actual journalism degree; b) writes for the illustrious CollegeHoops.net; c) is the person in the above picture and; d) refer back to ‘a.’ His homerrific teams include the University of Florida (football and just a little basketball) and University of North Carolina (a LOT of basketball). Welcome him, bitches.
Harold Wilson is thought to have said, “A week is a long time in politics.” For the current administrations of Georgia, Russia, and the U.S. this may never have been more true. Well, we don’t do politics over here (for stuff like that check out our boys at Red, White and Dude) but if you ask me I’d say, “A week is a long damned time without any TV in your house.”
Yes, it’s been just a shade over a week since the old cable boxes were turned in and my sweet plasma tee vee has set motionless since. Well, except for when SmoothRon or myself were playing MLB08: The Show on it. In any event, I missed a lot of great sporting events this week. I also actually found a way to catch a few sporting events as well. For the run down of my first week going cold turkey jump with me.
Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open. The crystal ball gets cloudy.
Phil Mickelson will play golf and that is awesome. Look, I know I usually (try to) be funny or whatever on here. But, Mickelson is playing golf during a time when his family is going through a terrible time. We’re all praying that Amy Mickelson gets better soon and keeps being a cougar for many years to come.
Carrie Prejean will not have much to do. Oh, poor Carrie. She lost her Miss California crown this week, now what the hell is she supposed to do? I could think of a few things I would love to do with her. Anyways, let me ask one question. If you are gay (not that there’s anything wrong with it), do you really want Perez Hilton championing any cause you have? Seriously? That guy? Whatever, I will marry the former Miss California tomorrow.
The Lakers won’t win the NBA Title. These predictions are just for the weekend, remember? Yes, the Magic will get one more win (even without Mickael Pietrus, the dirty Frenchy) on Sunday night. That will allow more money for ABC and the NBA and also allow the Lakers to celebrate their title in LA. We will then get to hear all the Kobe-lovers talk about how great he is. And he is great, but he’s still not (and never will be) Jordan. Let’s not forget, Kobe doesn’t have the signature shot in his career like MJ has about 15. Seriously, try and think of the greatest Kobe shot ever. Um… yeah. Now, think of the greatest MJ shot. Over Russell in ’98? Over Ehlo in ’89? Hell, you could even throw in the one from the ’82 NCAA Title game. Chew on that, Kobe-lovers.
Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open. The crystal ball gets cloudy.
The Derby will come and go and no animals will be harmed during the filming. That’s right, no horses are going down this year. With all the bad press following horse racing the last couple of years by the animal activist people expect trainers and event staff to play it safe this year. No horses will be running with a bum leg and I don’t think the jockeys will push as hard. Then again, who am I to predict that, it’s Derby time and all Hell is likely to break loose. If you venture into that wretched mess this weekend enjoy the scenery and take your umbrella.
Billy Gillispie will hang around Lexington long after his time is over and still attempt to sleep with your girlfriend. Rumors of Billy sightings are almost more rampant than when he was initially hired around Lexington right now. People see him at Two Keys for God’s sake! Where next Billy? Perhaps you’ll stop in at McArthy’s for a Guiness? Maybe a little trip to the Tin Roof? The man may be on stage at the Penguin this weekend, who knows? All you do know is that Coach Cal better keep his daughter far away from this man.
Oklahoma State will win the Big XII Tournament; Lexington, KY will explode. It’s no secret that UK fans are less than pleased with Coach Billy Gillispie right now. The crazed fanbase is ready to hire anyone with UK ties (Pat Riley’s name has been mentioned which is just inane). What do you know? Travis Ford coaches the Oklahoma State Cowboys who just beat a top 10 team! If you don’t think coaching for a job in Lexington is motivating enough for Ford, you were never at Redmon’s on Thursday nights when Ford coached at Eastern Kentucky.
No one will know the Pac-10 Tournament is actually going on, but Arizona State will win anyway. How bad is basketball out West this year? The Pac-10 has two teams in the top 15 and they both suck. They just happened to have beaten all the really bad teams out West to move up the rankings. Ugh, moving on.
LSU will win the SEC Tournament and then Billy Gillispie will sleep with your girlfriend. Look, everyone knows every team in the SEC has flaws. Kentucky is inconsistent. Florida doesn’t have consistent inside play. Tennessee’s guards couldn’t guard me. LSU lost twice last week. South Carolina has Devan Downey and… I can’t think of anyone else on their team. Mississippi State is coached by Rick Stansbury. Auburn is coached by Jeff Lebo. Alabama’s coach is afraid to yell at the refs because his mommy might get mad. LSU won more games all year, so hell, I’ll take them to win it. Also, ladies, watch out, this could be BCG’s last SEC Tourney. He’ll be looking to go out with a bang! Get it, “bang?”
The only thing this has to do with sports is that a college softball team was practicing. The only thing that this has to do with this web site is that 2SL will be doing 18 months in a Southern California pen.
Vol fans will need directions to Thompson-Boling Arena. When most Knoxvillians (Knoxvillites?) heard GameDay was coming to town, they figured the football Vols were so important that ESPN would send them down just to be there. Sadly, they were mistaken and are now left to have to wake up early to go inside (and have to sneak Jack in). All the hoopla aside, the Vols desperately need a win. They’ve lost two in a row at home and four out of their last five there. I remember a trip to the Winch last year when the Gators came to K-town and got their ass run. Hopefully, the same will happen again (for TGC’s health’s sake). Vols 84 Gators 73.
The temptation of The Uninvited will not be strong enough to get you to set down your beer. Can I be honest? I have no clue anything about this movie, except for one thing. Arielle Kebbel (the future Mrs. Smoothron) stars in it. The Uninvited is not good enough to watch at the theaters, but if Arielle’s other films are any indication, it will be great for a Sunday afternoon. I don’t like to admit this too often, but John Tucker Must Die is strangely re-watchable. Arielle Kebbel is sexy, look at the picture, then let’s move on.
Billy Gillispie will make fun of your hat, then sleep with your girlfriend. Remember when those white hats were really in style for frat boys? Did they go out of frat style? The “cool” ones were from Oregon State (Beavers), Fordham (FU) and South Carolina (Cocks). I had none. The Cocks come to Lexington tomorrow for their annual beatdown in KY. Darrin Horn (Tates Creek alum) will not enjoy his first trip as a Cock to Rupp. The Cats are coming off a terrible effort against Ole Miss the other night and are looking to take some aggression out by beating the Cocks handily. Watch out after the game, as always, for BCG. He’s especially ready to rail your girlfriend after a loss. Who the hell would leave Columbia, SC anyway? Go to the Horseshoe, play your guitar and smoke a bowl… not that I’ve ever done that.
APIAS 
