Surprising no one in the entire world, Brazil beat the USA 3-0 in the Confederations Cup today. The USA had exactly zero shots on goal, while the Brazilians had eight (8!). Two guys who go by only one name scored for the winners. I think I have figured out the problem.
Hmm… a bunch of tiny looking guys, no? What if they looked like this..?
Can you imagine how could LeBron, Kobe and Chris Paul would be on a soccer field? Tayshaun Prince would be the best goalie since… um, I don’t know of any great goalies in soccer history. But, he’d be pretty damn good. I would almost guarantee last year’s Olympic Champion “Redeem Team” could give a better effort than the current USA Soccer “team.” Hell, we might even let Coach K coach them, if they could actually get a shot on goal.
Mike Brown, who is a thief, may be leaving Cleveland
According to Pro Basketball News, the Cavaliers’ front office is thinking about getting rid of NBA Coach of the Year, Mike Brown. Apparently, getting to the Conference Finals was not good enough and Cleveland is pondering who to bring in to replace Brown. This is obviously a strategic move to make LeBron James (a free agent next summer) think that the Cavs are trying to make moves to make the team better so that he doesn’t bolt after next season. Pat Riley is rumored to be at the top of Cleveland’s wish list to replace Brown if he were to be replaced. Riley would be a mediocre (at best) replacement, but an obvious upgrade over thief (you know, because he stole the Coach of the Year award), Mike Brown. Here’s a list of other possible replacements.
Jeff Van Gundy: Can you imagine the networks getting to hype LeBron vs. Howard and Van Gundy vs. Van Gundy in the Eastern Conference Finals for the next decade? We would also get to see the Van Gundy’s dad wearing one of those half-and-half shirts, one side would be a white button-down and the other would be a ribbed t-shirt. It would also lead to a new joke in the lines of, “Did you know Jerome Bettis is from Detroit?” and “Brady Quinn’s sister is dating AJ Hawk.” “Did you guys ever hear that Jeff and Stan Van Gundy are brothers?”
Mike Fratello: I, for one, would love to see The Czar of the Telestrator back in the league. He has coached in Cleveland before and would hopefully allow TV crews in all his huddles so that he could draw up his plays for the audience at home. Marv Albert would also probably bite some hooker in the back he would be so excited to call a game that Fratello was coaching.
Isiah Thomas: Well, you know, if the Cavs were trying to run LeBron out of town. Did you know Zeke’s middle name is Lord? No, seriously. You can see it right here on his Wiki page. Sometimes, you just can’t make this shit up.
Bill Walton: How great would LeBron feel every day coming out of practice. “LeBron, your moves were absolutely magnificent today. Watching you play is like touring with The Grateful Dead in ’78. Your dribbling reminds me of watching Jerry play “Terrapin Station” to the moon in San Francisco. Your dunk at the end was as powerful as a Bob Dylan lyric!” If LeBron is a jamband fan, Walton is the obvious choice.
Tim Floyd: He could give away envelopes of cash to these guys every two weeks and there would be no repercussions! His win totals in the NBA: 13, 17, 15 and 4. Those numbers are absolutely staggering, but if Paul Westphal can get another gig in the league, who can’t?
John Calipari: If he wants to dodge all these Memphis allegations, the NBA would be a perfect place to go. We would just have to make sure there were no Mexican reporters in Cleveland.
Rick Pitino: Speaking of wanting to get out of the spotlight, Pitino could finally get out of Louisville. It would be really funny to hear Pitino’s opening speech to the Cleveland faithful, “Craig Ehlo isn’t walking through that door… Danny Ferry isn’t walking through that door…!” Danny Ferry (standing next to him) would then remind Pitino that he is the team’s GM.
Blake Lively: If the Cavs really want King James to stick around, why not hire a smoking hot girl to keep LeBron entertained. Surely, she could learn Mike Brown’s offense (“Give LeBron the ball, stand around and don’t get in his way.”) and would be a PR success immediately. Hell, I would pool some cash together just to watch her walk up and down the sidelines.
Gene Hackman: Did you see Hoosiers? He was magnificent as Coach Norman Dale. If LBJ can’t get excited about running the picket fence (Just don’t get caught watching the paint dry), I’m not sure if he has a pulse. Plus, the Cavs could play that cheesy ’80’s music during games just to keep the feel from the movie going.
Smoothron: I am a valid candidate. I would be cheaper than most other options. I have won two AAU State Championships in the last three years. I would be a great wingman for LeBron at the club after the game. I am pretty sure I am more competent than Mike Brown.
Billy Gillispie: Can you imagine? This would be absolutely perfect. BCG wouldn’t have to be a role model like he was supposed to be when he was coaching college kids. His weird smirk would fit right in in the NBA. I have heard there is a TON of Dr. Pepper in Cleveland. I do worry about what would happen if he were to sleep with a player’s girlfriend, though.
Ah yes, a long weekend filled with baseball, beer, hotdogs, and racing. The Tigers are on a winning streak and Tony Stewart is feelin’ the flow in Charlotte. Let’s have some fun goddamit.
And don’t forget to let a stranger drive you around (and sing Biz Markie) if you have a few too many cold beverages.
Oh yeah, it wouldn’t be the same unless I left you with a weekend-song-stuck-in-head. Here you go, you magnificent bastards! Wear those bad-boys all weekend.
Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open. The crystal ball gets cloudy.
It’s about 10AM on Friday morning as I begin to write this. Yes, I am at work. Yes, I am on the clock. No, I don’t care that I am stealing money. There, I’m glad we got that cleared up. I’d like to clear something else up as well. It is very fun to talk about recruiting rankings, especially now that UK is being talked about as having one of the great recruiting classes of all time, but they don’t a damn thing. The Fab Five from Michigan is hailed as the greatest recruiting class ever; how many NCAA Titles did they win? Zero. Isn’t that what it’s all about? The Fab Five were awesome and they revolutionized basketball, but they never won a title so why do we consider them so great? Let’s look at 2004, another great time for Kentucky recruiting. Tubby Smith (who is lambasted for his “poor” recruiting) landed the top class in the country according to Rivals.com‘s rankings. That class never got past the Elite Eight (which they did as freshmen) and was filled with turmoil the years they were there. Randolph Morris played the Hokey-Pokey (one foot in…one foot out) with the NBA before finally bolting for good and Rajon Rondo was percieved as selfish during his two years in Lexington. The two guys who made it all four years at UK, Joe Crawford and Ramel Bradley, were forced to play with lackluster talent after their classmates left for the league and struggled mightily their senior year with new coach Billy Gillispie after Smith left for Minnesota. I’m not trying to be a buzzkill and I think UK’s class this year is totally different, mainly because their won’t be a huge talent dropoff in next year’s recruiting class, but let’s keep our expectations tempered UK fans. Enough with the ranting, let’s do this…
The Lakers will lose two games in Denver. LA is in big, big trouble. They struggled with a Houston team that didn’t have its stars and have been outplayed the first two games against Denver. I know I’m not the first person to say to say this, but their point guard play is awful. Derek Fisher is a shell of the guy who was there earlier this decade. He is absolutely killing them right now. And, somehow, the Nuggets are outplaying them in every facet of the game. Where did the Nuggets come from? I have no idea, but I feel like they’re here to stay… at least for this year.
The Mets will get humiliated in Boston. The Mets cannot score runs anymore. Jose Reyes and Carlos Delgado both get hurt and the runs stop going on the board; it’s not a coincedence. Now, they have to go play an AL team that puts up runs in its sleep. I’m sure Santana will be a stud tonight, but expect the Red Sox to put up about 746 runs on Saturday and Sunday. Things were great when the Mets went 16-4 over a 20 game stretch, things could get really ugly soon.
People will talk about hockey? I have this sneaking suspiscion that ESPN will soon be airing hockey again. They have led SportsCenter with it in the last couple weeks, on the same night as good NBA Playoff games. The WWL is slowly trying to drum up interest again in a bad product. Hockey sucks and Southerners don’t care about it. Please, spare us all.
Lane Kiffin will commit a minor NCAA infraction. I can’t say exactly what it will be this time. Will it be an inappropriate tweet? Will he call out another SEC coach? Will he Superman some ho? Who knows? The only thing I know is that my UT friends are hoping his bark is like his bite… or just that the Vols win some football games this fall. Sidenote: his wife is still smoking hot.
Jake Peavy will not want to come to your city. Think about if you are Jake Peavy. You are 28 years old, you are a millionaire and you live in San Diego. You are living the dream about as well as anyone can live the dream. Why in the hell would you want to move to Chicago, especially if you have to play for crazy ass Ozzie Guillen? You would stay in San Diego unless some team came with a hell of a deal and was definitely going to contend for the World Series.
LeBron will tell his teammates to stop standing around. What the heck happened the other night? The Cavs were clicking for the first half, kicking absolute ass in the first half; the next thing you know, the Magic have chipped away at the lead and end up winning. Their offense was stagnant at best for the entire second half, though. It was awful, and LeBron looked pretty frustrated. I would hope that Mike Brown, who is an inept thief the NBA’s Coach of the Year, would be able to get things figured out. The Cavs win the next two games… easily.
The Indy 500 will run. Is there a less relevant sport in the USA right now than Indy racing? Hell, I would watch hockey over this crap. But, it will be all over your TV on Sunday afternoon. Enjoy!
John Calipari will come to your BBQ, shake hands, kiss babies and still not sleep with your girlfriend. This guy is almost invincible and he’s yet to coach a game. He convinced the #1 PG/player in the country to come to UK after he’d already gotten the #3 PG to come (yeah, I know I’m going against my rant above), he sends out about 15 tweets a day to his 75,000+ followers and seems to be a genuine guy. All this comes before he coaches a game. Wait until he finds out what happens when he loses to Gardner-Webb.
Yes! Weekend! Long weekend! Pools opening! Go have the greatest weekend and always remember to be better.
The APIAS crew is out of pocket for the weekend. Let’s be honest though, you guys should be out by a pool drinking Coronas or on the golf course anyway. It’s A’s/Tigers this weekend, so pick your Eday/TGC sides now.
If you need me, I’ll be cursing the diety somewhere in central Tennessee.
Have a good weekend you magnificent bastards.
(Maybe if you get lucky, you’ll hear from Smoothron or Bru. If you do, let me know where they’re hiding.)
Chalk this up, alongside the Manny-busted-for-steroids debacle, for this week’s biggest surprise in sports. Reports are out that a “confidant” of Mayo’s was given “a grand” by USC coach Tim Floyd to get Mayo to attend USC. There’s already been a lot of talk about Mayo’s crew receiving large sums of cash from BDA sports firm during his pre-NBA years and now this? Well color me surprised.
I have to take issue with a few things in this story up front. First off, the payment was “a grand.” Let’s look at this situation. If USC wanted SmoothRon to come teach classes on how to Superman Ho’s an envelope with 10 Benjies wouldn’t do the trick. And let’s be real honest, Smooth can Superman with the best of them. He was actually a back up dancer in that video (2 years ago?). All joking aside, if I’m getting paid to get my one-and-done buddy to come to your school we’re talking 5 figures friend. I told Coach Cal it’d be at least that to get my boy Wall to UK but he’s playing things close to the vest right now. Just waiting to hear back from Haith now…
Second on my list of red flags in this story is that Floyd himself made the payoff. Now I’ve never met Tim Floyd. His IQ may be on the level of Al Davis but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt here and say he’s a slightly intelligent man. Given that, it’s hard to believe he would actually hand a man $1,000 in an envelope for “delivering Mayo” to him. Unless USC runs a really weird system Floyd should have serveral assistant coaches and GA’s to handle shit like that. I may be naive here but why would he take that chance?
Don’t get me wrong here. There’s obviously been a lot of money thrown around in this whole business and there are a lot of questions about who got paid and where that dough came from. But at this point are we to believe that a thousand bones really contributed to a kid of that talent level going to a sunny school in Southern California, where the ladies are reputed to be blonde and gorgeous, the weather is perfect, and you can hang with the stars every night? I’m just not buying it, no matter how many scorned posse members want to come forward with their stories.
Take a big step with me here. Let’s make plenty of assumptions. Let’s assume Bruce Pearl isn’t as loyal as he’d want the Big Orange to think and just evaluate the purported offer on the table. Let’s assume he got his audience with Memphis higher-ups and the FedEx CEO. Let’s assume somewhere in East Memphis is a nice country club. You still with me?
WMC in Memphis is reporting U-Mem has offered BP a $21 Million dollar, 7-year deal.
How could he not take it?
You get to take a step down in competition. The SEC East sure as hell didn’t get any easier with the 2 highest-paid coaches in the game currently planning for the ’09-’10 tourney.
Memphis just won about 145 straight conference games, en route to consecutive top 2 seeds (read, a much easier path to a Final Four). And as my bud Smooth points out, Memphis is a basketball school. While UT is toiling in the land of never-been-past-the-sweet-16, Memphis just played for a National Championship 2 seasons ago.
And that was far from their first taste of success. The Tigers have banners for 3 Final Four appearances and 2 National Runners-up.
Hell, if not for having to live in or around Memphis, even I’d take that job, and I hate Tiger Blue.
So it’s settled then. Pearl to Memphis.
Now who’s his replacement on Rocky Top? Usually, I’d let 2SL take this one, but it’s my alma mater, and I want to take a first guess. Follow me to freedom.
Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open. The crystal ball gets cloudy.
Sorry about last week. I’m sure you didn’t miss me. You were probably at your favorite sports bar just like I was all Friday long. I would loved to have pulled the laptop (labtop) out at BW’s and write this, but our waitress was smoking hot and I felt I would have ruined my chance if I’d done that (I didn’t get her number). Anyway, we’re knee deep in the NCAA Tournament and if you live in Central KY, you couldn’t care less about the games. There is a soap opera going on with your favorite basketball team and you need to know what’s going on. Thankfully, this may all be coming to an end. I doubt this will stretch out too much longer. I would say Billy G will be gone by the end of today (Friday). While we’re here, let me weigh in on this mess real quick. First off, Gillispie deserves another year at least. The product on the court hasn’t been good enough and he’s made an ass out of himself and the program, but people are given second, third and fourth chances all the time. But, I am also glad that my favorite team doesn’t stand for mediocrity. A first-round exit from the NCAA Tournament and an NIT bid are not good enough for UK Basketball. 0-2 against Louisville isn’t good enough. 2-2 against Florida isn’t good enough. 2-2 against Vanderbilt isn’t good enough. 3-1 against Tennessee isn’t good enough… okay, maybe that is, but I had to get the shot in. The bottom line is, UK has tradition and the administration wants things to be better. You can lose, but if you are a great guy you might keep your job. You can win and be an asshole and possibly keep your job. You cannot lose and be a social enigma.
Mercifully, the good Lord has provided us with sports to take our minds off of this disaster. Twelve NCAA teams will become four, Tiger is playing good golf right before the Masters, baseball spring training hits the home stretch and NASCAR is at Martinsville. I’m at work, pretending to work… let’s see how long this can be.
You will develop a Pavlovian response to the sound of your phone vibrating on your desk. Okay, maybe that one is just me. Seriously, today is one of those days where you can never get too many, “You heard anything yet?” texts. I am more the fan of the fake text. If you send something like, “BREAKING NEWS: Gillispie out! Adolph Rupp to coach next season,” you can usually get a rile out of people. Plus, the Baron appreciates your thoughts on a day like this.
Louisville will walk to the Final Four. How can they be stopped? T-Will, Edgar (and the guy who paints his hair on everyday), Samardo and Earl see a title in their future. Ricky Pitino is the best coach in the country and will out-wit both Russ Pennell and Bill Self. It’s time to start thinking about a party on 4th Street. Oh, sorry, there’s always a party on 4th Street.
New York Mets fans will hate the World Baseball Classic. Seriously, Oliver Perez? Get better. You got way too much money this offseason to start pussing out now.
Missouri will press UCONN into a loss and admitting recruiting violations. No coach in the country can make himself more money next year than Mike Anderson of Mizzou. Premier jobs are open and the further he goes, the more cheddar he can rake in. Georgia? He doesn’t need your Georgia job. He can start thinking about Arizona with a win in Phoenix over the Huskies. UConn is finally distracted by the recruiting violation allegations and Hasheem Thabeet looks too slow in the 40 minutes of Hell.
Denny Hamlin will win the NASCAR race. He’s won at Martinsville a lot in the past (at least that’s what NASCAR.com told me). Normally, I would pick a driver who has some hot girl associated with them. A quick Google search didn’t lend that to me with Hamlin. In that case, I’ll put up a picture of a smoking hot celebrity I’ve been thinking about lately. Hmm… how about you, Whitney Port? Sure, your reality show made me want to take a baseball bat to my nuts, but you are still smoking hot. Denny Hamlin, do better with the ladies.
Villanova will beat Pittsburgh for the second time this year. Levance Fields isn’t healthy enough to stay with ‘Nova’s guards. DeJuan Blair looks like he’s just getting tired and Sam Young isn’t elevating like he once did. Jay Wright’s team is playing really well as of late. They absolutely locked Duke up last night and looked very efficient on offense. Villanova marches on.
TIGER! TIGER! TIGER!!! I would not want to be a professional golfer right now. The best golfer in the world has been back for a month or so and is just getting really good. Hmm… that’s odd, the first major of the year is a couple weeks away. Tiger has always known he would be getting very good around this point. There should be no doubt in anyone’s mind that he can win the Masters in two weeks. You heard it here first… or some other time after first.
Gonzaga will get to their first Final Four. It’s time for the Zags. The build up has happened for too long. Ten years ago, they were on the cusp of the Final Four, and this is the year they get there. Mark Few is poised to upset UNC again and will sneak past Syracuse in the Elite Eight. Congrats to Spokane, WA; success couldn’t happen to a more irrelevant place.
Billy Gillispie will get fired, then sleep with your girlfriend one last time. Honestly, I’m feeling a tinge of sadness. A little over a year ago, FWP started with a recurring joke about BCG railing your girlfriend. Somehow, it stuck the whole time. I really hope Gillispie nothing but the best. He’s a hell of a basketball coach and was put in a very tough situation. I think if either UK or Gillispie had known what they were getting into, they would have politely declined. But, sometimes you have to be a man and take what’s handed to you. Gillispie will find work soon, and probably very good and wealthy work. Godspeed, Coach… but, on your way out of town, leave some blonde girls for us.
Yeah, weekend! Be safe, watch sports and get ready for that extra $13 a week Obama is giving you!
UPDATE! This was found on WKYT.com briefly. It it now no longer there. Take it for what you will.
Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open. The crystal ball gets cloudy.
Hooray! It’s Conference Tournament Championship weekend! The Big Six Conferences will all crown their champions by 6PM on Sunday and then Seth Davis will be able to rip apart every team in the NCAA Tournament except for Duke (he’s sure they’re going to make a big run this year). I like to look at this weekend as just a warmup for next. Hell, I worked yesterday and am writing this from work right now. If you think I’m going to work next Thursday or Friday, you must be as drunk as I’m going to be in about six hours. Thank Mitch for the interweb, though, as I was able to listen to the Cats take down the Rebels yesterday. Hopefully, I’ll be out of this place soon enough and can stop getting paid to blog (unintentionally). This is a great weekend for all those who like to talk shit about things that don’t really matter. Sure, Kansas, Oklahoma, Connecticut and Pittsburgh all got knocked out of their conference tournaments before ever winning a game. Does that hold any weight at all? Aren’t all of those teams still going to the Dance? Even with those losses, it wouldn’t be a shock to see any of them in the Final Four. Conference tournaments for BCS schools are all about money and are superfluous at best. Is it fun to watch some good games? Sure! Can you tell me who won the 2006 Big XII Tourney (without checking out Wiki)? I didn’t think so. Watch the games, but don’t get your hopes up or down because of how well your team plays.
While this may be a basketball-heavy weekend, Round 2 of the WBC gets going, Tiger is golfing again and we all gear up for the only day of the year where drinking green beer would be encouraged. Yep…
Oklahoma State will win the Big XII Tournament; Lexington, KY will explode. It’s no secret that UK fans are less than pleased with Coach Billy Gillispie right now. The crazed fanbase is ready to hire anyone with UK ties (Pat Riley’s name has been mentioned which is just inane). What do you know? Travis Ford coaches the Oklahoma State Cowboys who just beat a top 10 team! If you don’t think coaching for a job in Lexington is motivating enough for Ford, you were never at Redmon’s on Thursday nights when Ford coached at Eastern Kentucky.
Wake Forest will win the ACC Tournament. They are definitely the most athletic team in the conference with Ty Lawson out for UNC. Duke is obviously a bunch of whiny bitches who don’t have the cajones to play well three days in a row. Lawson’s injury will be too much for UNC to overcome (have you seen Larry Drew II play PG for them…yikes!) and Roy-Boy will not want to get anyone hurt already knowing he has a #1 seed locked up.
The Netherlands will fall back to reality when it comes to baseball. Look, it was a hell of a run. No one not named Fjord thought they could beat the Domincans (twice!) to make it from Pool D to Pool 2 (See what they did there? Lettered Pools to Numbered Pools. Nice.), but the run ends at Pool 2. The USA and Venezuela emerge from the almighty Pool 2 to take on Japan and Korea in Pool Triangle… or something like that.
No one will know the Pac-10 Tournament is actually going on, but Arizona State will win anyway. How bad is basketball out West this year? The Pac-10 has two teams in the top 15 and they both suck. They just happened to have beaten all the really bad teams out West to move up the rankings. Ugh, moving on.
Few will be awake to see Wisconsin win the Big 10 Tournament. Oh, sorry, I just woke back up. I accidentally turned on the Michigan St./Minnesota game. The game clock read 3:35 left to play and the score was 27-26, so I guess it was the 2nd half. Bo Ryan is the best coach in the conference and will find a way to get his team into the Dance. Raise your hand if you like defense! Actually, put both hands up, it’s better for your defensive stance.
Tiger Woods!!! Wooooo!!!! The sound of schoolgirls yelping was actually that of golf executives when they heard El Tigre would be playing this weekend. Sadly, he’s tied for 40th right now and I’m pretty sure that doesn’t put him in the final pairing on Sunday. Bru still owes me his car.
Villanova will beat West Virginia in the Big East Championship game. Louisville is over-hyped and Syracuse will be dead tonight so both will lose. Jay Wright is a hell of a coach, Bob Huggins is a hell of a drinker; Wright wins on Saturday night because Huggins will be thirsty. Real quick tangent, just because a basketball game is long does not mean it is great. If a baseball game goes 20 innings, do people call it the greatest game ever? No, because you usually see pitchers that are terrible and would never play in any other circumstance. Thus, in a basketball game, you see players making plays they would never make because they are exhausted and have no energy. They are not playing at a high level and the quality of the game goes down. UK/Duke is still the greatest game ever played and Syracuse/UConn might crack the top 15. Tangent… out!
LSU will win the SEC Tournament and then Billy Gillispie will sleep with your girlfriend. Look, everyone knows every team in the SEC has flaws. Kentucky is inconsistent. Florida doesn’t have consistent inside play. Tennessee’s guards couldn’t guard me. LSU lost twice last week. South Carolina has Devan Downey and… I can’t think of anyone else on their team. Mississippi State is coached by Rick Stansbury. Auburn is coached by Jeff Lebo. Alabama’s coach is afraid to yell at the refs because his mommy might get mad. LSU won more games all year, so hell, I’ll take them to win it. Also, ladies, watch out, this could be BCG’s last SEC Tourney. He’ll be looking to go out with a bang! Get it, “bang?”
Okay, I’m at work at UK/LSU is about to start. I better start getting sick in a hurry so I can get the hell out of here. Have a fabulous weekend you beautiful bastards.
Around this time every year the ‘little boys’ of college basketball dominate the television. Conference championship games provide the best win or go home atmosphere before the actual NCAA Tournament. The beauty behind the win or go home atmosphere is the simplicity surrounding it. Win or go home. Yes, it is just that simple.
The coaching philosophy you hear from top to bottom, 6′ goal kindergarten basketball to NBA professional basketball is K.I.S.S. Keep-It-Simple-Stupid. Keeping it simple does not seem to be a theory floating around the Kentucky basketball locker room. Substitution patterns and playing time have been far from simple. A scattered substitution pattern in December is one thing but by February and especially March the guys that are going to play need to know they are going to play. Keeping it simple does not mean simple game plans or just cutting players loose to play backyard basketball. At the collegiate level game plans and systems are often times complicated which is why other parts of the game need to be simple.
Here are two ways for Kentucky basketball to simplify things: (more…)
Jeff Van Gundy: Can you imagine the networks getting to hype LeBron vs. Howard and Van Gundy vs. Van Gundy in the Eastern Conference Finals for the next decade? We would also get to see the Van Gundy’s dad wearing one of those half-and-half shirts, one side would be a white button-down and the other would be a ribbed t-shirt. It would also lead to a new joke in the lines of, “Did you know Jerome Bettis is from Detroit?” and “Brady Quinn’s sister is dating AJ Hawk.” “Did you guys ever hear that Jeff and Stan Van Gundy are brothers?”
Bill Walton: How great would LeBron feel every day coming out of practice. “LeBron, your moves were absolutely magnificent today. Watching you play is like touring with The Grateful Dead in ’78. Your dribbling reminds me of watching Jerry play “Terrapin Station” to the moon in San Francisco. Your dunk at the end was as powerful as a Bob Dylan lyric!” If LeBron is a jamband fan, Walton is the obvious choice.
Blake Lively: If the Cavs really want King James to stick around, why not hire a smoking hot girl to keep LeBron entertained. Surely, she could learn Mike Brown’s offense (“Give LeBron the ball, stand around and don’t get in his way.”) and would be a PR success immediately. Hell, I would pool some cash together just to watch her walk up and down the sidelines.
Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open. The crystal ball gets cloudy.
The Lakers will lose two games in Denver. LA is in big, big trouble. They struggled with a Houston team that didn’t have its stars and have been outplayed the first two games against Denver. I know I’m not the first person to say to say this, but their point guard play is awful. Derek Fisher is a shell of the guy who was there earlier this decade. He is absolutely killing them right now. And, somehow, the Nuggets are outplaying them in every facet of the game. Where did the Nuggets come from? I have no idea, but I feel like they’re here to stay… at least for this year.
Lane Kiffin will commit a minor NCAA infraction. I can’t say exactly what it will be this time. Will it be an inappropriate tweet? Will he call out another SEC coach? Will he Superman some ho? Who knows? The only thing I know is that my UT friends are hoping his bark is like his bite… or just that the Vols win some football games this fall. Sidenote: his wife is still smoking hot.
John Calipari will come to your BBQ, shake hands, kiss babies and still not sleep with your girlfriend. This guy is almost invincible and he’s yet to coach a game. He convinced the #1 PG/player in the country to come to UK after he’d already gotten the #3 PG to come (yeah, I know I’m going against my rant above), he sends out about 15 tweets a day to his 75,000+ followers and seems to be a genuine guy. All this comes before he coaches a game. Wait until he finds out what happens when he loses to Gardner-Webb.
Chalk this up, alongside the Manny-busted-for-steroids debacle, for this week’s biggest surprise in sports. 
Louisville will walk to the Final Four. How can they be stopped? T-Will, Edgar (and the guy who paints his hair on everyday), Samardo and Earl see a title in their future. Ricky Pitino is the best coach in the country and will out-wit both Russ Pennell and Bill Self. It’s time to start thinking about a party on 4th Street. Oh, sorry, there’s always a party on 4th Street.
Denny Hamlin will win the NASCAR race. He’s won at Martinsville a lot in the past (at least that’s what NASCAR.com told me). Normally, I would pick a driver who has some hot girl associated with them. A quick Google search didn’t lend that to me with Hamlin. In that case, I’ll put up a picture of a smoking hot celebrity I’ve been thinking about lately. Hmm… how about you, Whitney Port? Sure, your reality show made me want to take a baseball bat to my nuts, but you are still smoking hot. Denny Hamlin, do better with the ladies.
Billy Gillispie will get fired, then sleep with your girlfriend one last time. Honestly, I’m feeling a tinge of sadness. A little over a year ago, FWP started with a recurring joke about BCG railing your girlfriend. Somehow, it stuck the whole time. I really hope Gillispie nothing but the best. He’s a hell of a basketball coach and was put in a very tough situation. I think if either UK or Gillispie had known what they were getting into, they would have politely declined. But, sometimes you have to be a man and take what’s handed to you. Gillispie will find work soon, and probably very good and wealthy work. Godspeed, Coach… but, on your way out of town, leave some blonde girls for us.
Oklahoma State will win the Big XII Tournament; Lexington, KY will explode. It’s no secret that UK fans are less than pleased with Coach Billy Gillispie right now. The crazed fanbase is ready to hire anyone with UK ties (Pat Riley’s name has been mentioned which is just inane). What do you know? Travis Ford coaches the Oklahoma State Cowboys who just beat a top 10 team! If you don’t think coaching for a job in Lexington is motivating enough for Ford, you were never at Redmon’s on Thursday nights when Ford coached at Eastern Kentucky.
No one will know the Pac-10 Tournament is actually going on, but Arizona State will win anyway. How bad is basketball out West this year? The Pac-10 has two teams in the top 15 and they both suck. They just happened to have beaten all the really bad teams out West to move up the rankings. Ugh, moving on.
LSU will win the SEC Tournament and then Billy Gillispie will sleep with your girlfriend. Look, everyone knows every team in the SEC has flaws. Kentucky is inconsistent. Florida doesn’t have consistent inside play. Tennessee’s guards couldn’t guard me. LSU lost twice last week. South Carolina has Devan Downey and… I can’t think of anyone else on their team. Mississippi State is coached by Rick Stansbury. Auburn is coached by Jeff Lebo. Alabama’s coach is afraid to yell at the refs because his mommy might get mad. LSU won more games all year, so hell, I’ll take them to win it. Also, ladies, watch out, this could be BCG’s last SEC Tourney. He’ll be looking to go out with a bang! Get it, “bang?”
Keeping it simple does not seem to be a theory floating around the Kentucky basketball locker room. Substitution patterns and playing time have been far from simple. A scattered substitution pattern in December is one thing but by February and especially March the guys that are going to play need to know they are going to play. Keeping it simple does not mean simple game plans or just cutting players loose to play backyard basketball. At the collegiate level game plans and systems are often times complicated which is why other parts of the game need to be simple.
APIAS 