Okay, so this is fun for hours. I’ve already sent the call to everyone on the crew, so now I feel comfortable publishing it for your harassment/usage.
Update: after you do it you’re gonna wanna see these, EDSBS.
You may already be aware that there is a movie coming out this fall based on the Michael Lewis book The Blind Side. What you may not know is that the movie will be featuring three SEC coaches playing themselves.
Tennessee’s Phil Fulmer, Ole Miss’ Ed Orgeron, and LSU’s Nick Saban (not one still affiliated with his previous school) will don the logos and colors of Universities Past for their big screen debuts.
In my version, Saban is played by Gargamel
Orgeron is played by Mr. Bean
and Fulmer is portrayed by Janet Reno.
You know you’d watch it.
The long-awaited opening week is halfway over. We are now securely in the throws of regular season baseball. Let’s take a minute to review the weeks highs and lows, bests and worsts.
Worst $161 Million spent: CC Sabathia. The newest gazillionaire in pin-stripes (Main St, not Wall St people) showed up for his first day of work to a battery of hazing, delivered by the MLB equivalent of annoying 5th graders–the Orioles. 4.1 innings, 6 runs (that’s a 12.47 ERA). Sabathia explained it this way, “We swung the bats well today and scored five runs. We should win the game when we swing the bats like that. It was just one of those days – a bad day.” One would think, for $100+Million, you could buy what you needed to avoid bad days. Just ask A-Rod.
Best Mustache: Brian Tallet. Not only has Mr. Tallet had a good week on the hill, (2 games, 6 batters faces, no hits or walks) but he showed up to the dance with the best set of facial hair since Rollie Fingers. I mean if I could grow a lip collar like that, I would do it in a heartbeat, sex with females be damned.
Worst off-season defensive upgrade: Adam Everett. The Tigers blamed a lot of ’08s failures on lack of range, and defensive weakness, namely Edgar Renteria. They planned to remedy the situation by signing Everett away from the Twins (who played all of 48 and 66 games the last 2 years). His contribution so far 3 assists, 1 error (that led to a 5-4 loss), and no hits. Stay loose Ramon Santiago.
Best Opening Day Starter: Roy Halladay. Halladay has the B-Jays 4-3 on opening days (meaning, yes, Doc has gotten the nod 7 straight years). The 2003 Cy Young winner, and last year’s runner-up, continued this feat going 7 strong Monday for the W. He’s now halfway to Jack Morris’ record of 14 straight opening day starts.
Worst New Closer: TIE Brandon Lyon and Brian Fuentes. Lyon spent most of spring training giving up 8th and 9th inning runs and ended up losing the closer job to Fernando Rodney before camp broke. Fuentes won the job, but has already blown 2 saves in 2 tries. Watching these guys try to get 3 outs is like watching Iraqis try to do jumping jacks.
Let this be a lesson to all schools and pro teams with a large “H” as your sports logo. Don’t paint it on the middle of the field, lest ye be visited by large flying machines.
A cricket match in Mumbai, India was halted suddenly when a helicopter pilot mistook the team’s logo painted in the corner of the field for a landing area and fires outside the stadium as smoke signals. The players scattered and the pilot, none the wiser, went ahead and landed the chopper on the pitch.
Play was stopped for a half-hour while the mess was settled, and the private helicopter was relocated.
The “H” stands for the name of the Himachal Pradesh team.
“It landed suddenly. No one knew what was happening,” the competing Punjabtold the paper after his side won the interrupted game. “There was chaos. Everyone ran for cover.”
Good thing it didn’t happen at a Colombian soccer match. That thing would have been shot out of the sky by an RPG and raked for parts and supplies miles before it got to the pitch.
Then again, that’s pretty much a normal day for Team Afghanistan.
Saturday afternoon, the Memphis Tigers roll into Thompson-Boling Arena understandably still irked at the Vols. Around this time last year, Bruce’s boys from the East gave Memphis its first (and one of only 2 total) loss last year.
Calipari ranted and raved all off season about Bruce and his recruiting of Memphis, going so far as to say that Bruce not bother sniffing around the city, because anybody John wants, John gets.
Leslie McDonald then immediately signed with UNC.
This year, he still hasn’t cooled off much.
John Calipari was asked this week to describe his relationship with Tennessee men’s basketball Coach Bruce Pearl.
“We coach in the same state,” Calipari deadpanned.
He quickly noted it was said mostly in jest — key word: Mostly.
Pearl, to his credit, keeps stoking the fire, “My thing with John has always been his contention that this series does more for Tennessee than it does for Memphis. I try to remind him from time to time that Tennessee does hold the all-time advantage (12-7) in the series and that it’s good for both teams.”
So what are we looking at on Saturday, other than another bruiser of a budding rivalry matchup? Let’s take a look at the 4 keys after the jump. (more…)
The 11-5 Tennessee Volunteers are in obvious need of leadership and veteran demeanor on the court, at times. Even though you love the fire and gusto that comes with JR Wayne Chism on the court, you also get his overly emotional reaction and weekly disappearing acts. I keep waiting on Tyler Smith to get in a face… but the more I watch him, the more I see his lead-by-example mentality come out. Which is a solid trait, don’t get me wrong, but this team needs a rough and tumble vocal leader.
The 31-5 version of a year ago had those guys, along with a tougher sense of hustle and come-to-beat-you. One graduated (JuJuan Smith) and two were dismissed.
Duke Crews and Ramar Smith, only days after the season ending Sweet 16 loss to Louisville were sent packing for, what most agree, was a 4th failed drug test and lacking academic effort. So what happened to them?
Let’s take a look at Duke Crews today.
Originally he had mentioned wanting to transfer to UNC-Charlotte and NC State. Neither of those panned out and he ended up at D-II Bowie State, former home of “Big Ant” Anthony Ivory. After some early-season questions as to Crews’ eligibility were answered, he joined a 3-6 team that has gone 5-1 since his arrival.
He’s playing in front of smaller crowds, but CIAA fans are every bit as knowledgeable and rabid as any in the nation. Crews is responded by averaging 18.2 points and 8.6 rebounds per game for the 9-6 Bulldogs. “It’s a different type of atmosphere (in the CIAA),” Crews says. “You’ve got the band; you got the dance line and the cheerleaders. You get to interact with the fans more.
Crews, who dropped 25 and 12 last week against Johnson Smith College, appears to recognize the second chance he was given and is looking forward to the CIAA tournament. “The sky’s the limit,” he says.
The Bulldogs were picked to win the CIAA East at the beginning of the season.
Stay tuned for a future installment regarding Ramar Smith and his attempt at overseas professional glory. Any information on Ramar Smith’s current whereabouts can be emailed to apiasdotnet (at) yahoo.com
Not much going on in the world of sports today (or this week really). Have some good clean fun with yourself below.
Chattanooga Football (with a TO sighting, and probably the coolest–and longest–self-running flash window around) [LWS]
Will Forte on the BCS [With Leather]
I know. I know. I heard sports radio all week long just like you did. Tim Tebow is now in the discussion for greatest college football player/leader/Jesus lover/philanthropist/omnipotent faith-healer of all time. So when they win the National Championship last night in a fantastic game, he’s the obvious MVP. Right?
Tebow had a good game, don’t get me wrong. But he was in no way the most valuable player of that contest. That player was Percy Harvin.
I’m not one to blindly jump on the side-story of a big game, but I did see a picture of Harvin’s high ankle sprain after the FSU game… and it looked wrenched, purple, and painful. That was only a month ago. The guy stayed in Gainesville over the holidays to recuperate and get ready for his final college game. Impressive, but still not the point.
Let’s just take a look at the numbers. Tebow nearly stifled his own offense with two terrible throws that were both picked off. That 2 picks equalled his total from the whole season. So what did Dan Mullen do to get his offense back on track? Give it to Percy.
FMCBCP is a stupid acronym I just came up with. When it’s not football season, we do a FWP (Fearless Weekend Predictions) post every Friday where one of us predicts what will transpire over the upcoming sports weekend. Well, College Basketball is about to start so we needed to do FMCBCP (Fearless Men’s College Basketball Conference Predictions) to document all our picks for the 2008-09 season. I wanted to do a post that would feature a comprehensive coverage of all the conferences together. EDay then reminded me that might be a 25,000 word post. Since most of our readers (and contributors for that matter) have the attention span of a three year-old monkey, we decided to break each down by conference. We’re only doing major conferences, so don’t whine when you don’t see the MEAC being featured. We’ll be picking conference winners, POYs, COYs, FOYs, biggest disappointments and number of tournament teams. As always, this will be done in a way that only APIAS.net can.
Today, the ACC…
Bru’s Pick: North Carolina
TGC’s Pick: North Carolina; Simply the best talent in the league, won’t be challenged. Duke is rebuilding(for Duke) and no one else can compete. Don’t bring that Wake shit in here, more on that later.
EDay’s Pick: North Carolina; Look, I’m going to go out on a limb here with my Championship pick. They may not have the most talent or much experience, but I like their coach and I’m going to go with the North Carolina Tar Heels to win the league this year.
Smoothron’s Pick: North Carolina; Unless you are a fan of another team (and really if you are) there is no excuse for picking another team to win the ACC.
More prognosticating after the jump. (more…)