Archive for the ‘Road Trip’ Category

A summer plea for college sports

July 6, 2009

Nobody needs to see this

I thought I’d take a quick look around this morning to see how college sports blogs are handling the dry “boys of summer” months.

How’d it go?  Er, make your own calls.

Take a look at Rocky Top Talk’s Jimmy Clausen fashion exposé… if you dare.

Over at EDSBS, examined are the merits of Ben Franklin, The Kool Aid Man, Fried Chicken, Evil Knievel, coitus with old ladies, and Raising Arizona.  Yeah, I don’t know either, but it made me feel a little more patriotic than I was before I read it.

We Want the Lion takes a look at tailgating games, so that you may be more prepared the next time you go to Lowe’s (and with plenty of notice no less).  Washers, Ladder Golf, and (our favorite) Cornhole are covered.  All of which can be built in your garage with PVC, 2×4’s, plywood and elbow grease.  If you are the type of pretentious jerk that buys them pre-made, steer clear of our tailgates this fall or risk wearing the residuals of a Jack & Coke on your Lacoste shirt and croakies.

I’ll keep looking around the web in search of College Sports news for you guys as we plug through the humidity and dial in to August.

Happy 6th of July, all.  May your weekend hangovers end promptly before dinner tonight.  And let’s all pray the hillbillies a block down from me have finally extinguished their 2009 firework allotment so I can watch baseball outdoors in peace tonight.  Assholes.

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FWP: I’ve Missed You All

May 15, 2009

fwpFearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

I guess it’s been a while since I did one of these bad boys (that’s what she said). I think I did FWP last in March, the month before April – the month that Keeneland is open. Keeneland was absolutely insane, 30,000+ people were there the last two Saturdays which makes the place almost not that fun. Of course, saying Keeneland isn’t fun would be like saying a date with Smoothron isn’t fun; and if I had been on a date in the last six months, I’m sure the nice, young, cougar would tell you I’m huge… I mean great. There has been a lot of stuff going on in the last month or so that we need to catch up on. The baseball season has gotten in full swing, a certain basketball coach has begun tweeting the day away, the NBA Playoffs are as good as they’ve been in my lifetime, the NHL Playoffs are trying to be relevant but can’t and we’re in the middle of the Triple Crown. To mark my return, this could be the longest FWP of all time. Fasten your safety belts, ladies. Yep…

  • vanessabryantKobe Bryant will come out with an epic performance in Game 7. After last night’s stinkbomb, isn’t another thrashing in the cards for the Lakers? The Rockets can’t play well two games in a row, no matter how much we all want to see a team that has lost Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming beat the best team in the Western Conference. Also, can you imagine how pissed the NBA would be if Houston played Denver in the Conference Finals? Goodbye ratings! Oh well, Lakers win big. Vanessa Bryant approves almost as much as we approve of her… and her forgiving heart.
  • TGC and EDay will come to fisticuffs. Oakland and Detroit only play twice during the regular season and the MLB chose the weekend that EDay and TGC would be out of town with big internet questions. MLBTV may not be in the cards for one of the biggest weekends of the season for my two compadres and that makes me said… until I remember they’re playing 72 holes of golf this weekend. Then, I want to vomit.
  • Kasey Kahne will win the All-Star NASCAR dealio Saturday night. I opened up the NASCAR website and he was the first person I saw. I have no reason to believe he will do anything well this weekend, mainly because NASCAR has regressed more than any sport in these tough economic times. I don’t know about you, but I feel like I haven’t heard anything about car racing this spring. Come on, rednecks, show your support and give NASCAR some more cash! Also, I don’t think Kahne has a hot significant other, no picture.
  • MariaVerchenovaaria Verchenova will begin her reign to rule the world. How to rule the world in three easy steps: 1) Be born attractive. 2) Be good enough at golf to move the hell out of Russia. 3) Date Smoothron. Check, check and… almost check. Apparently, everyone just found out about Maria and we should expect nothing less than the Kournikova/Sharapova/Williams Sisters  treatment. You’ll probably all be sick of her soon enough, as Mrs. Smoothron and I grow old together.
  • The Celtics will win their second Game 7 of the 2009 Playoffs. It’s absolutely remarkable that the Celtics will end up playing 28 games in two rounds in two years of playoffs. I’m almost sure that last sentence made sense too. The Magic are just losers, plain and simple. No player on that team has ever won anything memorable in their entire career. Hell, their coach won an NBA Title and then was run off by his players. Good effort, Orlando, now go back to being irrelevant. Please.
  • Brett Favre, Alex Rodriguez, Manny Ramirez and Michael Phelps. I don’t have anything to say here, but I bet you every dollar I have ever made you hear at least two of these names this weekend.
  • The New York Mets will not give Johan Santana any run support. The guy has lost two games this year. He has given up zero (0) (that looks like a boob, haha) earned runs in those two losses. You’ve got to be kidding me. I understand batters seeing their starting pitcher throwing darts and not going their hardest, but my gosh, the guy has lost two games and done nothing wrong! Be better, hitters.
  • JT will win Survivor. What? No one watches this show anymore? Well, it still sucks me in every f*#&ing time. This season was actually pretty good, oh who am I kidding, no one cares.
  • Friesan Fire will win the Preakness. He may have run 18th (out of 19) in the Derby, but this is still a champion horse. My buddy, Ludt, wouldn’t run him if it weren’t a real possibility that he could win. That’s at least what I will tell myself when I’m with all the other scum bastards at the Drive-Thru Betting line tomorrow.
  • ukcheerleaderJohn Calipari will tweet you, but not sleep with your girlfriend. Wow, I didn’t think I’d say that last part about a UK Basketball coach so soon. But, Calipari has come to Lexington and absolutely taken over the city and state. He’s on Twitter giving people motivation, he’s recruiting the #1 class in America, he’s getting Patrick Patterson to come back to school and he’s trying to take over China. He’s a hell of a guy in my book. It also helps me feel better that if I ever date again, the coach of my favorite basketball team won’t try and rail my special lady.

Enjoy your weekend, people. Whether you’re playing golf, coaching basketball or killing your liver… make it the best it can be. Sorry, all of Calipari’s motivational tweets must have gotten into me there.

FWP: I’ll Take A Crack At This

May 1, 2009

fwpFearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

Well it’s been about a month since the last FWP.  Keeneland has come and gone, baseball has started, and the Pudge Cup is off to a rousing start (unless you shot over 110 the first two weeks).  It’s about time we looked into the magic ball and gave you fine folks some visions.  Pudge will assist on this one.

hueThe Derby will come and go and no animals will be harmed during the filming. That’s right, no horses are going down this year.  With all the bad press following horse racing the last couple of years by the animal activist people expect trainers and event staff to play it safe this year.  No horses will be running with a bum leg and I don’t think the jockeys will push as hard.  Then again, who am I to predict that, it’s Derby time and all Hell is likely to break loose.  If you venture into that wretched mess this weekend enjoy the scenery and take your umbrella.

The A’s will be back near .500 at the end of the weekend. Hey, it’s just a hunch but I think they’ll take at least two from the Mariners on the road.  Dana Eveland will take his bearded self in tonight and throw a good game to start off the series.  After that, it’ll be a war but the division leading Mariners are due to flub one up.  Plus the A’s need some good news some time this week.

Ricky Hatton will own a small Phillipino in the ring. We don’t blog about boxing nearly as much as we wish we could on this site but this is the biggest fight of the year.  Pacquiao has been good in the past but he just doesn’t seem as hungry as he was in the past.  Hatton will throw with anyone and I’m predicting Hatton will lay the lumber on Mah-Mah-Manny on Saturday.

The Celtics will win game 7 in 4 overtimes at home. Are you serious with this series?  I stop by TGC’s last night after softball thinking I can watch 7 minutes of basketball and go home.  Wrong!  This series has seen about 93 overtimes in 6 games and game 7 shouldn’t disappoint.  Give me the Celtics in the Garden in a big game 7 any day.  That is unless Salmons goes off again.  In that case give me the Celts in 6 overtimes.

billyglastBilly Gillispie will hang around Lexington long after his time is over and still attempt to sleep with your girlfriend. Rumors of Billy sightings are almost more rampant than when he was initially hired around Lexington right now.  People see him at Two Keys for God’s sake!  Where next Billy?  Perhaps you’ll stop in at McArthy’s for a Guiness?  Maybe a little trip to the Tin Roof?  The man may be on stage at the Penguin this weekend, who knows?  All you do know is that Coach Cal better keep his daughter far away from this man.

That’s all this week folks.  SmoothRon is gearing up for Keeneland tomorrow for Derby, TGC is on the road to K-Town for a celebration, and 2SL is celebrating life as usual.  You should do the same and have a fantastic Derby weekend.

Monday Poll: That special time of year

March 31, 2009

APIAS Road Trips – Summer 2009, part I

March 25, 2009

The air is warming up, the fairways are turning green, the snow is gone (finally), and baseball is around the corner. All of this can mean only one thing. Pounding the pavement.

I want to take a minute to outline the (ever-changing) APIAS Summer Road Tour 2009 schedule.  You’ll remember past tours to Detriot (again), Bristol, and of course Keeneland.  This year’s tour will include venues old and new.

And down the stairs he falls!

And down the stairs he falls!

Not to take away from the preview Smoothron will no doubt write next week, but the first order of business once you switch your thermostat from heat to A/C is, of course, Keeneland in Lexington, KY.  The final few stages of Kentucky Derby prep racing take place April 3-24.  The majors of this meet are the $750K Blue Grass Stakes on April 11, and the $350K Lexington Stakes on April 18.  Burgoo, spirits, short dresses, big hats, bo… sorry, Smooth will get you the preview at a later date.

Gotta love the 2 block walk to the stadium.

Gotta love the 2 block walk to the stadium.

The next order of business will be back to the land of Leyland.  Fuzzybuzz and myself will be jetsetting (read: Dodge Durang0) to Michigan for the Yankees-Tigers series April 27-30.  I don’t care if the Greektown Casino did file bankruptcy, they should better mark their Roulette tables.

I know theres a Jimmy Johns around here somewhere...

I know there's a Jimmy John's around here somewhere...

Soon after that, on May 2, the whole crew can be found on 4th street in Louisville under the Twin Spires.  It’ll be this cowboy’s first time to the Derby, but not the first beer on 4th Street.  Hell, I might even catch a concert or two.  Maybe a nice balcony bike ride.  No promises or apologies either day.  (Race you to York?)

See you there.

Other potential stops include Richmond, VA, Atlanta, GA, Austin, TX, San Diego, CA, Omaha, NE, Cincinnati, OH and Knoxville, TN.  Feel free to weigh in.

Aftenoon Wake Up Call: From My Mini

March 10, 2009

wakeupAfternoon Wake Up Call is our way of recapping the day’s action.  This is for all the assholes (college kids) who get to sleep all day or for folks like us that are stuck at work all day and need some updates.  It likely won’t be daily (until Spring weather permits back porch posting on a daily basis), but someone will bring you the day’s recap in a way only APIAS can.

March has officially kicked off.  The 75 team conference tournament in the Big East has kicked off and 0-18 (in conference) Depaul has already started off by knocking off Cincinnati.  They’re the early Cinderalla team this spring.

Kentucky basketball continues to amaze as rumors of BCG asking Meeks not to shoot have flown around until Clyde himself said he wanted Meeks to shoot away.  Mitch continues to say nothing happened in his conversation with Patterson’s mom and today President Todd said they’ll evaluate the coach situation at the end of the week.  (Coverage of all of this is ongoing over at KSR).

Meeks was named District Player of Year but not SEC POY as Marcus Thornton down at LSU took home the honors.  Their coach also took COY honors.  Not bad choices as LSU dominated league play this year.

On the college recruting front Lance Kiffin continues to amaze.  He recently told a recruit if he went to South Carolia he’d end up pumping gas for the rest of his life.  I tend to agree with Kiffin here.  How much is a degree at South Carolina worth these days?  I’d say about three fiddy.  Or about how much a gallon of gas will be back up to in 4 years when that kid gradua…ahahaha.  Sorry, almost got that out.  We all know football players at SC aren’t graduating.

Wrapping it up today, expect some APIAS road trip coverage this spring as TGC and FuzzyBuzz are taking an April trip to Comerica for Yanks-Tigers.  Come May I myself will be accompanying TGC for A’s and Tigers in the friendly confines of the Tigers stadium.  Good times will be had by all and perfect pours will flow like wine.

Also, starting today we’ll be debuting a new part of this segment called favorite thing of the day.  Today we’ll go with the device supplying you this post, my new Dell Mini9.  If you haven’t looked into getting an ultraportable laptop yet you should.  Dell’s offering is nice and ASUS and others have nice alternatives as well.  Check them out and pick one up for less than 3 Benjamins.

Thanks for tuning in today and keep an eye out for Italy in the WBC.  They could make some noise.

I’ve been to Tampa, though never to Bora

March 2, 2009

sec_basketball_tournament_logo

Here are a few SEC East seeding scenarios surrounding the APIAS homer teams.  Tiebreaker rules are listed at the bottom.  Currently, the SEC East In-division standings are as follows: Tenness  7-2, South Carolina 5-3, Kentucky 5-3, Florida 4-5.

When the Tourney starts on March 12, the East #1 plays Friday at 7pm.  East #2 plays Friday at 3pm.  East #3 plays Thursday at 10pm.  East #4 plays Thursday at 1pm.

Scenario Pearl

UT – wins @SC and ALA
UK – wins GA and FL
FL – wins @MS loses @UK
SC – loses UT and wins GA

#1 UT 11-5
#2 SC 10-6 (2 wins over UK)
#3 UK 10-6
#4 FL 9-7

More after the short layover in Atlanta (more…)

We’re 400!!!

June 25, 2008

Well, technically, we’re not 400 days old until tomorrow, but much like 2SL we can’t keep help but bust out a little early.  For those of you who haven’t been here from the start this here web log started back in ought seven on April 22nd.  That parting shot fired over the wall of the Internets at Lexington Herald Leader resident write John Clay was our first foray into this odd world of sports blogging. 

Since that day we knew we’d never be the same again, and if you’ve read this site more than 2 days, we suspect you feel much the same about your own life since discovering us.  We’re sure you’ve never been more horrified.  Where’d we go from there? 

Well it’s hard to say.  A little baseball, a little racin’, a little college football and then it was New Year’s.  Time was flying and our hits were going up.  Soon, with the help of Deadspin, With Leather, and some well-timed Google image searches we were floating at about 1,000 hits per day.  We’re happy to say that’s still the case.  And we’re extremely happy that we’re had over 330,000 hits in a little over a year since we started this.  We’d like to get teary and thank everyone but we’ve still got some time to recap.  Hit the more for recaps of our best and worst ideas around this here blog.

(more…)

Tigs off the schneid!

April 10, 2008

Now I’m not calling Jimmy a prophet (or myself for that matter), but there is something to be said for having a rock like Leyland at the helm, taking a day to recalibrate, and myself and Eday finally making to the back patio for a ballgame.

With a strong effort from Bondo and some timely hitting by Guillen and Renteria (expected) and Thames (a nice surprise) and a mental “attack mode” that has been lacking, well, since early ’07, the Bless You Boys notch the first of (what we all expect will be) many.

So Jimmy, ready to start talking about the potential for this team?

“We’re not out of the woods yet, but maybe this will loosen everybody up a little bit…

Fair enough, I’m just glad to be in the win column.  Its a long season folks (if you don’t believe me, ask Eday, with that Season Blog he’s running over there… what were you thinkin’ man?) and we’ll talk about August in August.

One more tonight with the Sox of Red, then 3 more with the Sox of Black looking for redemption.

1-7 today, next stop .500!

Also, if you didn’t catch the end of the Cubs/Pirates last night on mlb.tv,  you missed it.  Tried to get resident Cub fan 2SL involved in the festivities.  But him was asleep and wouldn’t answer his texts. 

Poor guy, all tuckered out.

From The Road: Bristol 2008

March 16, 2008

100_0006_vga.jpgWell it’s been an interesting trip down to Bristol, TN/VA.  We still haven’t figured out what damned state we’re in.  We believe we’re staying in Virginia, but may be watching a race in Tennessee, Virginia, or Oklahoma tomorrow.  We’re not quite sure.

We also made our way to a pool hall/bar tonight that was in Tennessee (we think) but was right on the Virginia line.  We also saw TGC dancing in the street from the TN to VA side and back.  Hilarity ensued and good times were had by all. 

In other related news, we’ve seen the following while on this trip:

  • A man with a backwards 49ers hat brandishing a packaged hand saw at the counter at Wal-Mart.  And by brandishing, we mean shaking above his head in a threatening manner.
  • We saw one of Kasey Kahne’s cars being backed out of a haluer at the local Wal-Mart.  The guy couldn’t get the car fired up so TGC commented that he may be able to get it started if he put the oil cover back on.  The guy replied “Yeah, yeah”  Hilarity ensued.
  • People smoking in a bar/restaraunt.
  • A “house/divided” license plate in the parking lot of the Fast Lane that was half UT half UK.  Then we watched the UK vs. GA debacle with the people who owned this car.
  • Southpaw Light
  • Yuengling
  • Beam Black
  • Bud bar girls who gave us all kinds of neat widgets including a Kahne coozy and a nice Budweiser key chain bottle opener.
  • Coors Light bar girls running down the street.  One with knee high boots (odd) and one with no shoes on at all (disgusting).
  • 2 dogs and 4 cats
  • 1 extremely nice blow-up mattress and 1 moderately comfy couch.

And that will just about wrap it up for the first two nights in Bristol.  Tomorrow we go to the races and likely drive home.  A full recap of that sweet action when the time comes.  Until then, TGC wants the world to know quote: “I love midgets.”