Archive for the ‘Football’ Category

A summer plea for college sports

July 6, 2009

Nobody needs to see this

I thought I’d take a quick look around this morning to see how college sports blogs are handling the dry “boys of summer” months.

How’d it go?  Er, make your own calls.

Take a look at Rocky Top Talk’s Jimmy Clausen fashion exposé… if you dare.

Over at EDSBS, examined are the merits of Ben Franklin, The Kool Aid Man, Fried Chicken, Evil Knievel, coitus with old ladies, and Raising Arizona.  Yeah, I don’t know either, but it made me feel a little more patriotic than I was before I read it.

We Want the Lion takes a look at tailgating games, so that you may be more prepared the next time you go to Lowe’s (and with plenty of notice no less).  Washers, Ladder Golf, and (our favorite) Cornhole are covered.  All of which can be built in your garage with PVC, 2×4’s, plywood and elbow grease.  If you are the type of pretentious jerk that buys them pre-made, steer clear of our tailgates this fall or risk wearing the residuals of a Jack & Coke on your Lacoste shirt and croakies.

I’ll keep looking around the web in search of College Sports news for you guys as we plug through the humidity and dial in to August.

Happy 6th of July, all.  May your weekend hangovers end promptly before dinner tonight.  And let’s all pray the hillbillies a block down from me have finally extinguished their 2009 firework allotment so I can watch baseball outdoors in peace tonight.  Assholes.

Advertisements

Not Available at U-Idaho

June 16, 2009
callme

Booster money well spent.

Okay, so this is fun for hours.  I’ve already sent the call to everyone on the crew, so now I feel comfortable publishing it for your harassment/usage.

Thanks Holly!

Update: after you do it you’re gonna wanna see these, EDSBS.

Silver Screen Debuts; “Himself”

June 15, 2009

You may already be aware that there is a movie coming out this fall based on the Michael Lewis book The Blind Side.  What you may not know is that the movie will be featuring three SEC coaches playing themselves.

Tennessee’s Phil Fulmer, Ole Miss’ Ed Orgeron, and LSU’s Nick Saban (not one still affiliated with his previous school) will don the logos and colors of Universities Past for their big screen debuts.

Check out Hey Jenny Slater (via Holly) for a great rundown of wish-list actors, were the SEC head men not already spoken for in the film.

In my version, Saban is played by Gargamel

gargamel

Orgeron is played by Mr. Bean

 

and Fulmer is portrayed by Janet Reno.

You know you’d watch it.

Paging The General; 80 days

June 9, 2009

In honor of secondary recruiting violations becoming national news, I would like to remind you that it is only

80days

until the pom-pons fall from the Glocker Haslam Bridge , the  checkerboard flowers are planted outside the UC, and the official inaugration of the new First Orange Family.

Defining Success, SoCar style

June 2, 2009

This doesn’t even need an intro.  However, here are a few facts: Football Titles = 0, Baseball Titles = 1, Basketball Titles = 0.

Baby steps, Cock fans.

Baby steps, Cock fans.

One Poor (?) Bastard’s Day at the Draft

April 27, 2009

BurgessWell the San Francisco 49ers lucked out a bit in the draft and picked up Michael Crabtree at tenth.  It was a big surprise to all involved as Crabs (that is his nickname right?) was expected to go in the top 5.  Reports range all over the map from saying he was a prima donna to he’s hopelessly injured with a foot stress fracture.  My guess is that if the injury part were true he’d be playing down in Oakland.  For the Athletics.

Reached by APIAS for comment Crabtree said “San Fransisco?  Well, at least I’ll be the best receiver they’ve ever had.  They still run the West Coast offense right?”

In all seriousness, I feel bad for this guy.  He caught 231 passes the last two years in college and the 9ers won’t throw that many this year.  He may have a hard time adjusting, but then again, who else does San Fran have to throw to this year?  Maybe it’ll all work out.

Can This Actually Be Happening?

April 16, 2009
Brady...Harbaugh...Grbac...Henne...This Guy?

Brady...Harbaugh...Grbac...Henne...This Guy?

Irony hates me.  It absolutely wants to watch me squirm and burn in hell.  When all of you were ripping on Greg Paulus for the last four years while he flopped around Duke, I was trying to take the high road.  “He’s the type of guy you hate to watch play for someone else, but if he were on your team you would absolutely love him… He’s a coach’s dream.”  Yeah, whoops.  ESPN relays this quote,

“There has been an opportunity given there,” Paulus said Thursday morning on a conference call with reporters. “I thought it was a really good visit. It was really helpful to get to be on a campus and meet with coach [Rich] Rodriguez and see the system and understand what types of opportunities are out there.”

Now, as a Michigan Football fan, I am forced to come to grips with myself.  Can I actually root for this tiny bastard?  Hmm… do the numbers 3-9 mean anything to you?  Look, if the guy can win the Wolverines some more games, I could care less how many times he was getting dunked on in Cameron Indoor.  And as hard as it is to say, the guy is a hell of a leader.  He has played on some of the lesser Duke teams, but that’s still not an easy job to have.  Then, when forced into a backup role midway through this past season, he took his demotion gracefully.  So, I guess I’ll support the little guy.  What the hell else do Michigan fans have to lose?  10 games in a season?

[ESPN]

Afternoon Wake Up Call: Opening Day Edition

April 7, 2009

wakeupAll kinds of things are happening in the sports world friends.  Some good basketball was played last night, some basketball odds went up, and lots of baseball was played.  Let’s get with it.

The NCAA Men’s Championship Game last night was a joke.  I watched approximately 5 minutes of both the first and second half and neither small window of viewing could keep me from flipping the old LCD back over to Component 1 and getting my Tiger Woods 08 on.  There was only one exciting play in the entire duration of my viewing last night and that was when Raymar got smacked in his broken nose.  I literally cringed when that happened, watched the aftermath, and promptly flicked it back to the Playstation.

With the laugher of a title game a distant memory, everyone can now turn their attention to next year’s NCAA season.  I heard on the radio today that UNC and UK lead the early props betting lines in Vegas at 12:1 odss for making the Final Four.  No one else is even 20:1 right now.  That says a lot about Roy’s ability to keep UNC stocked (they could lose 5 guys to the NBA) and Coach Cal’s abilities to bring in talent and coach.  I doubt he can turn UK around that fast, but I do appreciate the thought.

Baseball started yesterday and APIAS went 2-2.  Our National League teams both won while the American League teams lost.  The Tigers fought off the Toronto crowd (damned near literally) en route to a loss.  Oakland’s new-look offense didn’t bother to leave Spring Training as the A’s were swept by the Angels.  The Mets won a close one and the Cubs started their march to the 2009 World Series Championship behind a 4-2 win over Houston.

The only game I caught much of was the A’s game.  It looked like the pitching emphasis from the spring as Dallas Braden hammered the strike zone early and often with a strike percentage around 70% and only one walk in Wuertz and Bailey both pitched perfect innings in relief but it wasn’t enough as the A’s were shut out.

That’ll wrap up Opening Day as frigid weather throughout the Midwest and East make talking about baseball almost strange.  It feels like NFL season in these parts.  Our favorite thing for today is pretty obvious: baseball Ray.  As TGC likes to say it is the perfect game.  You’re never out of the game until the final out is recorded and there’s nothing quite like a night or, even better, a day at the park.  We’ll definitely be covering a lot of bat and ball sports this summer so stick around for road trips, live blogs that spring from the nether regions of a back porch, and plenty of bitching and complaining depending on how long it takes the Tigs and A’s to win a game.  Until next time, stay warm and watch baseball.  It’ll only be here for another 7 months folks.

It’s all becoming clearer

March 19, 2009

I knew something wasn’t right here.  Think back… Have you ever seen Retired Nolan Ryan and Phil Fulmer in the same place at the same time?

I think not.

Transfer Raises Questions

March 4, 2009

The number one all purpose running back in the country, David Oku, has changed schools.  No, he has not changed colleges, that decision is still undecided, he has changed high schools.  This news is not breaking, it happened a few weeks ago, along with the rumor that the reason for his relocation was due to his high sperm count and lack of protection.

Nebraska SignThe rumor mill has been turning out Internet article after article about Oku.  Oku allegedly knocked up his ‘girlfriend’ while on a recruiting visit to Nebraska and this has prompted his move from Oklahoma to Nebraska.  Those in Oku’s camp say its strictly for academic reasons.  As usual, we here at APIAS.net have some questions/thoughts/comments on the subject….

  • The term ‘girlfriend’ must be a loose affiliation here because no 18 year old brings their girlfriend with them on a recruiting visit.  Obviously they met while Oku was on his recruiting visit to Nebraska.  Nothing says I love you, lets have a baby like a recruiting visit weekend hook-up.
  • If I was Oku I would be having a paternity test done, ASAP.  Let’s be honest, he wasn’t the first running back on the Nebraska campus for a recruiting visit this year. 
  • Oku transferred schools because his new high school in Lincoln, Nebraska offers classes his former high school does not.  Exactly, I am sure the first thing on Oku’s mind for next year is getting college credit for Calculus, French and Biology.  We here at APIAS.net appreciate his determination to ‘score’ in the classroom.
  • If you are going to knock some random girl up on a recruiting visit, at least do it somewhere fun, like Miami, Florida or LSU.  Lincoln, Nebraska is just so boring.
  • Does Oku’s girlfriend attend the University of Nebraska?  Perhaps she works for the football team….CONSPIRACY!  Someone alert Lane Kiffin.
  • If the pregnancy is true, can Tennessee start recruiting this child before birth?
  • To the girlfriend of Oku –  For rent, nice 3 bedroom condo in West Knoxville $0 a month,  University of Tennessee scholarship worth up to $30,000 a year (yes, I know tuition is much cheaper than that but you get the idea here) and a brand new Lexus SUV (car seat included).

Well, there you have it…the Oku saga continues and so does our distasteful, bad and crude blogging.