APIAS Pickem Scramble Week 4: It is officially time to PANIC!


TGC out of town?  Check.  eDay on the road?  Check.  Lots of late picks?  Check.  A blogger dropping out?  Check. 

Wow, TGC turns this thing over to me for one week and all Hell breaks loose.  But that won’t stop SPS baby!  Right now we’ll be giving you everybody’s quotes from the week at large.  Later, we’ll have everyone’s picks up as well, so never fear.

Burnsy has contracted gonnasyphillAIDS (again?), Holly is on the road, and several folks just didn’t have time for the funny this week.  But there was still a lot of good stuff folks, Holly did have time for this one gem.

On the road for work, so this’ll have to be quick and dirty.  Like TGC in the sheets (ba-zow!).




<Updated!  Picks are up and Smooth’s comments included.  Sorry for the early incompletion.  Also, as you can see T Kyle has asked to be removed from pick ’em due to time constraints.  We’ll try to find a fill in next week and get the counts updated based on the earlier season missed picks.> 

With that, on to this week’s best from the aristocracy. 

East Carolina @ NC St.

Because of the picture I found in my Week 1 review of ECU players popping their jerseys, I can never pick against them – Br 

If the Pirates continue like they have been, the C-USA schedule will be a real letdown for them. Just like it is for the rest of us. I like the purple ones to wax on again. – xp

 East Carolina, because any team playing a Mike Archer defense automatically wins. -The W

 ECU – Why the hell not, I like seeing old photos of Captain Lou. – TGC

NC State really, really sucks. – SR

 Didja – BW


Alabama @ Arkansas

Have you ever seen Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, where the two crooks battle to see who can cheat lie and steal more?  No, well just watch Petrino and Saban on Saturday and you’ll get the general idea. – 2SL

Petrino vs. Saban? Wasn’t this matchup supposed to happen in the NFL? Which aspiring Pete Carroll will get it done? I’m going with the home team. Sooo-eee! – xp

 Two good coaches who are, at best, mediocre human beings. But at least Saban waited until the season was over to abandon his NFL dream. Petrino wins this contest as biggest scumbag, Bama wins the game. – Bru 

Alabama – This shall be referred to as the “Lucifer Bowl.”  Two guys who sold their souls to the devil long ago coach these teams.-SR
Bama, although Satan wins this one, too. (see last week’s Mich./ND comment)- The W


 Didja – BW


Florida @ Tennessee

I don’t care who wins, I just look forward to seeing boobs again. If they’re Orson’s, so be it. But I’ll go with Florida. – xp 

Florida, although how Tebow concentrates knowing Erin Andrews wants his holy cock and not being able to give it to her ASTOUNDS me, and quite frankly, makes me a big angry. Plus, I hate Tennessee more than Florida-The W

UT – I’ll be at the following locations, should anyone need to find me to give away free tickets this weekend: Petro’s, Green Meadows CC, Back Room Bar and BBQ, Downtown G&B, Krystal, the Weigel’s on Middlebrook, and possibly Forest & Agee on Saturday. – TGC

Florida – If Percy Harvin is as healthy as he says he is, the UT secondary should be on alert; also, someone better warn the UF coeds as well.-SR

Nothing funny or witty here. Florida is my favorite team. I don’t care for Tennessee at all. Enough said – Bru 

 Didja – BW


Notre Dame @ Michigan State

Michigan State. Charlie Weis’s knee injury will be too much to overcome. Wait, what’s that? He’s just the coach?  – The W

(This from a man who has had knee problems since simulating fellating another man. -eDay)

Michigan State – Sure, MSU will win, but ND has obviously already clinched a BCS bowl game.  We will also be pranking ND’s campus throughout the game as we did last weekend, high comedy.-SR
C’mon Spartans, let’s kick little Charlie down a well, OK? – xp


 Like previously stated, I will never pick Notre Dame for anything. Ever – Bru

Hear – BW


Virginia Tech @ North Carolina

I think Tech will come out of this one 0-for-Carolina. – xp 

How much better would UNC be if they let Tyler Hansbrough play linebacker? He might actually kill someone. – Bru
(Excellent idea!  And if he should be injured up until at least, say, November 18th, I would have absolutely no problem with that –eDay).

Virginia Tech. Butch Davis will be too scared and distracted by the Little Beamer. -The W

 UNC – I took Butch in the 3rd round of my Head-Coaches-Back-Alley-Brawl draft. – TGC

North Carolina – This was like trying to pick which one of the Olly girls from ‘Sunset Tan‘ is smarter.  ‘Sunset Tan?’ Anyone??-SR
Me? – BW



Miami (FL) @ Texas A&M

Da U in a stadium full of ROTC cadets and male cheerleaders? This I gotta see. I’m going to root for A&M because I love Javorskie Lane. – xp

A&M isn’t what they once were, and the Canes are on the way back up. On the bright side for the Aggies, 475 pound running back Javorksie Lane is fun to watch – Bru

Miami. Is it immoral to want to watch bad criminals play good football, rather than see not-so-bad criminals play mediocre football? Damn, if only Confucius were here- The W

Miami (FL) – While Miami may not be ranked, Randy Shannon still has a firm grip on #1 in the, “Coaches Who I Would Not F*#& With” poll.-SR
Didja – BW



Wake Forest @ Florida St

Florida St. – FSU wins basically because of LB Coach Chuck Amato’s man-breasts.-SR

I heard on the ebays that this daggum Wake Forest team is pretty good. Let’s pick them. – xp

FSU hasn’t had a good QB since Weinke. Maybe they need to find another 35-year old with eligibility – Bru

(Like 2SL? –eDay)

Florida St. Shouldn’t they ALWAYS win this game? -The W

Didja – BW


Vanderbilt @ Mississippi

Eli’s alma mater beats Jay Cutler’s. – xp

The Grove is supposedly the best place to tailgate in the SEC. Most of the people I know who went to Vandy are dorks. Rebels win – Bru
(I lived at The Grove on Tates Creek for two years.  It is definitely not the greatest place in the SEC to tailgate. –eDay)

Vanderbilt – Someone (UK, specifically) better watch out for Vandy.  Smart kids who are also good at football?  Um, well, I don’t know the answer to that… not sure there have ever been any.-SR

Ole Miss- in my newest tradition of picking at least one game a week via actual coin toss, which I am a perfect 1-0. (Tails won.)-The W

Didja – BW


LSU @ Aurburn

The state of Virginia issues Auburn license plates… por que? I rebel against this blatant attempt to make money and say Geauoux Tigers. – xp

Good thing Auburn has that high powered offense now. The best bet here though? A team called the Tigers will win – Bru 

LSU. I know Auburn is good, but they haven’t impressed me yet, and they’re not the defending national champions. Also, LSU is so good, I had to name half their roster on NCAA ’09, compared to a paltry 10% for Auburn. -The W

(What is this, Teen Girl Squad?  LSU is soooo good! –eDay)

Auburn – Yes, I am taking the team who only beat Sly Croom 3-2.  Yes, I took Auburn (twice!) in TAGMAT this week.  Yes, we all know my curse.  LSU obviously wins by 40.





Hear – BW


Georgia @ Arizona State

A friend of mine was in AZ a few weeks ago, and he said he saw Dennis Erickson swimming in the hotel pool with one of those styrofoam noodles. Based on that evidence of his feebleness, I am going Bulldogs. – xp

Knowshon Moreno is kind of good. Plus, he has one of the best names in college football. Plus, my friend Horne lives near ASU, and he is bad luck to all around him.  – Bru

Georgia. Rudy. Carpenter. Sucks. -The W

Georgia – Because watching your National Title hopes go down the drain at home to the Orange team is better than on the road to the Yellow team. – TGC

Georgia – I really, really wish I could party with the UGA guys on ASU’s campus after the game.-SR

Me? – BW

(I think we all did bud. –eDay)

12 Responses to “APIAS Pickem Scramble Week 4: It is officially time to PANIC!”

  1. smoothron Says:

    Well, hell, get you a small font. And obviously my comments weren’t funny enough to make the site. Thanks.

  2. The W Says:

    I too lived at the Grove, and while eDay and I did our fair share of drinking, there is no good tailgating, unless watching the retards walk around in circles constitutes tailgating. This is also the place where those aforementioned knee problems began, and yes, whilst attempting faux-fellatio on another man.

  3. eDayStat Says:

    Apologies for terrible formatting throughout. I struggle to get things done on the work lap top, especially in regards to the images and spacing issues from Word XP. But suck it.

  4. eDayStat Says:

    And NC St. makes us all assholes.

  5. Extra P Says:

    NC State makes our assholedness public, at least.

  6. eDayStat Says:

    Weekly update folks. Holly and myself get as close to perfection as it gets this week with 9 (nobody knew NC St.) Matt Jones goes from perfect to goat with 10 last week and only 4 this week with Eric not trailing far behind…

    Holly 9
    ExtraP 5
    Matt Jones 4
    Burnsy 6
    P Bean 6
    Spanklin 8
    TKK N/A

    TGC 7
    eDay 9
    Smooth 6
    2SL 7
    BW 6
    Bru 7
    TheW 7

  7. Holly Says:

    Why is Burnsy on top of me on the front page even though I’m ahead? If he’s going to be on top of me why waste it on a website? Also, Kyle is un-American. STAY THE COURSE.

    Still drunk from Tempe,

  8. TheGoldfishCowboy Says:


  9. Weatherwax Says:

    Good job bro Oyun Oyna

  10. Lass Says:

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