Archive for the ‘Jack Assery’ Category

Oh you know what it means

July 2, 2009

The A’s manage to take game 3 and the series (2-1) on a hell of a performance by Dallas Braden to beat Cy Young candidate Justin Verlander yesterday, 5-1.   The season series (barring a playoff meeting) ends at 4-2 Tigers.

 TGC and Joel Zumaya take exception to the Short Message Service correspondence received from one EdayStat after the game.

GFY, good sir... GFY

GFY, good sir... GFY

 Oh yeah… how’d game four in ’06 work out for you?

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Silver Screen Debuts; “Himself”

June 15, 2009

You may already be aware that there is a movie coming out this fall based on the Michael Lewis book The Blind Side.  What you may not know is that the movie will be featuring three SEC coaches playing themselves.

Tennessee’s Phil Fulmer, Ole Miss’ Ed Orgeron, and LSU’s Nick Saban (not one still affiliated with his previous school) will don the logos and colors of Universities Past for their big screen debuts.

Check out Hey Jenny Slater (via Holly) for a great rundown of wish-list actors, were the SEC head men not already spoken for in the film.

In my version, Saban is played by Gargamel

gargamel

Orgeron is played by Mr. Bean

 

and Fulmer is portrayed by Janet Reno.

You know you’d watch it.

Lebron Ducks You, Media Goes Crazy

June 3, 2009

varejaoBobThe story about Lebron James ducking the Magic and reporters after being ousted from the playoffs is days old now.  Everyone’s had their say on the issue.  Well, almost everyone.  Now it’s our turn.  Here’s the cliff’s notes verison, nobody gives a shit.

That’s right, Lebron didn’t shake hands or talk to reporters.  Is that poor sportsmanship?  You’re damned right.  Will he do it again?  Hell no he won’t.  Was it that big of a deal?  Not really.

The only reason this thing was news was because it was Lebron James.  If Sideshow Bob Varejao doesn’t shake hands, no one says much of anything.  It maybe makes a post on Deadspin and then it dies.  Since it was Lebron everyone in America has to talk about it.

Here’s what really gets me though.  Most everyone was getting down on Lebron saying that was a bad example, etc. etc.  My question:  would you rather your kid look up to a guy doing steroids, a guy who slaps his wife around, or that terrible piece of shit asshole who didn’t slap hands after a playoff game?  Seriously, the media will never learn to let things like this go and thus you people are going to be stuck listening to us bitch about it.  I hope you’re happy with that. 

(note:  that sweet ass image of Ssideshow Bob came from www.deviantart.com  check it out, it’s a cool place and I’m pretty sure they’re not associated with Nazi’s)

An Economic Analysis in Detroit; baseball version

May 27, 2009

Now that we are a quarter of the way through the season, I thought it would be fun to take a second and evaluate the Tigers old and new against their free-agent winter prospects.  I’m using the 2009 salaries provided by ESPN.com and for a quantitative look at productivity, the ESPN Fantasy Player Rating.  Admittedly this is not the most scientific study, but it does provide two comparative data points with which to evaluate Mr. D’s spending habits.  (And let’s not forget, we are still in first place.)

Dollar value is calculated by multiplying the players 2009 salary by his current player rating (as of 5-27-09) and then dividing by 100,000 to get a usable number.

(c) TGC MMIX

(c) TGC MMIX

On first review, the Tigs fall right where you think they should.  Namely, Cabrera is worth every penny, Inge and Curt need raises, and Nate Robertson and Brandon Lyon are thieving bums.

Look a little closer though and you’ll argue that Dontrelle hasn’t had enough data points this year to accrue a valid rating, making his value an outlier.  I would argue that the guy makes $10 Million a year and that the evaluation is accurate.

Everette and Santiago are, as expected, in the middle of the pack and well worth the cost.  Josh Anderson has been a nice surprise with a league-minimum salary yet a positive player rating, while Gerald Laird is worth so much more than he’s given credit for here in unmeasureables.

So anyway, nothing too spectacular here as far as shocking information, but it appears that this confirms Dave Dombrowski as a man that knows how to spend a dollar wisely (for the most part cough… Gary Sheff… cough).

Opening Week: Best and Worst, episode 2

April 15, 2009

Best Math: Yahoo! Sports’ Jeff Passan.  According to Passan, the Cleveland Indians have hit the “Panic Number.”  Which is 1-6.  Which is technically two numbers. 

See why we call 1-6 the Panic Number?

It gets uglier when looking at the full seasons of the wild-card era. Since 1996, only three teams have finished above .500 after starting 1-6: the ’04, ’06 and ’07 Phillies, who seem to have a knack for reversing ugly starts.

It’s an interesting read.  Check it out.

Worst season opening scheduling:  Detroit.  The Tigers are in the midst of a 6-game 1pm start time streak, to be followed by 10pm, 9pm, 4pm (Sunday) and then three more 10pm games.  What’s a guy got to do to watch the Tigers on the back porch after work and not be up til 3am?  Sheesh.

Best Relief Pitcher-Hitter:  Nick Swisher.  In the throws of a 15-5 rout by the Rays, Swish pitched a scoreless 8th inning for the Yanks (oh, and homered).  He’s also hitting .458 with 4 dingers so far on the year.  And Eday had a beer with his dad in 2006.  What a guy!

Worst Relief Pitcher Hitter: Gabe Kapler.  Struck out against the first non-pitcher to throw in a game since Wade Boggs did it in 1997 (also for the Yankees).

Best APIAS homers surprise:  BobWicket’s Reds.  They’ve looked good and they are above .500.  Those two things haven’t been said in the same season since 2005.  I love the makeup of this team, now if only Dusty B would play more small ball.

Worst APIAS disappointment:  TIE Smooth’s Metropolitans and 2SL’s Cubbies.  The Mets have struggled in the close ones (3-4 overall), but the pitching is coming around and Johan is going to be fantastic.  The Cubs didn’t go undefeated.

Best Week Ever Ever:  Patrick Schuster. All Schuster did last week was throw 3 no-hitters.  No shit.  THREE NO HITTERS!  And his coach couldn’t be less enthused.  “He’s on a roll and he’s got confidence in every pitch he’s throwing right now,” Mitchell head coach Scot Wilcox said of his ace. “That’s why we’re seeing so much success out of him.”  Yeah, and I guess Scarlett Johanssen isn’t the ugliest girl in the bar tonight.  Schuster is a University of Florida signee, but something tells me he might not make it to Gainesville.

NOTE:  MLB has forced the takedown of all Youtube video of Nick Swisher pitching.  I’m thinking Steinbrenner had something to do with that…

Think about it… it makes sense

April 2, 2009
Get used to this--and the gutter--vol fans

Get used to this--and the gutter--vol fans

Take a big step with me here.  Let’s make plenty of assumptions.  Let’s assume Bruce Pearl isn’t as loyal as he’d want the Big Orange to think and just evaluate the purported offer on the table.  Let’s assume he got his audience with Memphis higher-ups and the FedEx CEO.  Let’s assume somewhere in East Memphis is a nice country club.  You still with me?

WMC in Memphis is reporting U-Mem has offered BP a $21 Million dollar, 7-year deal. 

How could he not take it?

You get to take a step down in competition.  The SEC East sure as hell didn’t get any easier with the 2 highest-paid coaches in the game currently planning for the ’09-’10 tourney. 

Memphis just won about 145 straight conference games, en route to consecutive top 2 seeds (read, a much easier path to a Final Four).  And as my bud Smooth points out, Memphis is a basketball school.  While UT is toiling in the land of never-been-past-the-sweet-16, Memphis just played for a National Championship 2 seasons ago.

And that was far from their first taste of success.  The Tigers have banners for 3 Final Four appearances and 2 National Runners-up.

Hell, if not for having to live in or around Memphis, even I’d take that job, and I hate Tiger Blue.

So it’s settled then.  Pearl to Memphis.

Now who’s his replacement on Rocky Top?  Usually, I’d let 2SL take this one, but it’s my alma mater, and I want to take a first guess.  Follow me to freedom.

(more…)

UK Rolls Out Red Carpet, Welcomes Coach Cal

April 1, 2009
Wednesday Morning Press Conference (Lexington, KY)

Wednesday Morning Press Conference (Lexington, KY)

APIAS Road Trips – Summer 2009, part I

March 25, 2009

The air is warming up, the fairways are turning green, the snow is gone (finally), and baseball is around the corner. All of this can mean only one thing. Pounding the pavement.

I want to take a minute to outline the (ever-changing) APIAS Summer Road Tour 2009 schedule.  You’ll remember past tours to Detriot (again), Bristol, and of course Keeneland.  This year’s tour will include venues old and new.

And down the stairs he falls!

And down the stairs he falls!

Not to take away from the preview Smoothron will no doubt write next week, but the first order of business once you switch your thermostat from heat to A/C is, of course, Keeneland in Lexington, KY.  The final few stages of Kentucky Derby prep racing take place April 3-24.  The majors of this meet are the $750K Blue Grass Stakes on April 11, and the $350K Lexington Stakes on April 18.  Burgoo, spirits, short dresses, big hats, bo… sorry, Smooth will get you the preview at a later date.

Gotta love the 2 block walk to the stadium.

Gotta love the 2 block walk to the stadium.

The next order of business will be back to the land of Leyland.  Fuzzybuzz and myself will be jetsetting (read: Dodge Durang0) to Michigan for the Yankees-Tigers series April 27-30.  I don’t care if the Greektown Casino did file bankruptcy, they should better mark their Roulette tables.

I know theres a Jimmy Johns around here somewhere...

I know there's a Jimmy John's around here somewhere...

Soon after that, on May 2, the whole crew can be found on 4th street in Louisville under the Twin Spires.  It’ll be this cowboy’s first time to the Derby, but not the first beer on 4th Street.  Hell, I might even catch a concert or two.  Maybe a nice balcony bike ride.  No promises or apologies either day.  (Race you to York?)

See you there.

Other potential stops include Richmond, VA, Atlanta, GA, Austin, TX, San Diego, CA, Omaha, NE, Cincinnati, OH and Knoxville, TN.  Feel free to weigh in.

It’s all becoming clearer

March 19, 2009

I knew something wasn’t right here.  Think back… Have you ever seen Retired Nolan Ryan and Phil Fulmer in the same place at the same time?

I think not.

February sports have gone ’round the bend

February 25, 2009

 

tigerback

Found this on The Golf Channel just now.  Are we really struggling for sports news this bad?  Geez.

Is Opening Day here yet?

Screw it, I’m going to hit the links.