Archive for the ‘lolvols’ Category

Silver Screen Debuts; “Himself”

June 15, 2009

You may already be aware that there is a movie coming out this fall based on the Michael Lewis book The Blind Side.  What you may not know is that the movie will be featuring three SEC coaches playing themselves.

Tennessee’s Phil Fulmer, Ole Miss’ Ed Orgeron, and LSU’s Nick Saban (not one still affiliated with his previous school) will don the logos and colors of Universities Past for their big screen debuts.

Check out Hey Jenny Slater (via Holly) for a great rundown of wish-list actors, were the SEC head men not already spoken for in the film.

In my version, Saban is played by Gargamel

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Orgeron is played by Mr. Bean

 

and Fulmer is portrayed by Janet Reno.

You know you’d watch it.

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Transfer Raises Questions

March 4, 2009

The number one all purpose running back in the country, David Oku, has changed schools.  No, he has not changed colleges, that decision is still undecided, he has changed high schools.  This news is not breaking, it happened a few weeks ago, along with the rumor that the reason for his relocation was due to his high sperm count and lack of protection.

Nebraska SignThe rumor mill has been turning out Internet article after article about Oku.  Oku allegedly knocked up his ‘girlfriend’ while on a recruiting visit to Nebraska and this has prompted his move from Oklahoma to Nebraska.  Those in Oku’s camp say its strictly for academic reasons.  As usual, we here at APIAS.net have some questions/thoughts/comments on the subject….

  • The term ‘girlfriend’ must be a loose affiliation here because no 18 year old brings their girlfriend with them on a recruiting visit.  Obviously they met while Oku was on his recruiting visit to Nebraska.  Nothing says I love you, lets have a baby like a recruiting visit weekend hook-up.
  • If I was Oku I would be having a paternity test done, ASAP.  Let’s be honest, he wasn’t the first running back on the Nebraska campus for a recruiting visit this year. 
  • Oku transferred schools because his new high school in Lincoln, Nebraska offers classes his former high school does not.  Exactly, I am sure the first thing on Oku’s mind for next year is getting college credit for Calculus, French and Biology.  We here at APIAS.net appreciate his determination to ‘score’ in the classroom.
  • If you are going to knock some random girl up on a recruiting visit, at least do it somewhere fun, like Miami, Florida or LSU.  Lincoln, Nebraska is just so boring.
  • Does Oku’s girlfriend attend the University of Nebraska?  Perhaps she works for the football team….CONSPIRACY!  Someone alert Lane Kiffin.
  • If the pregnancy is true, can Tennessee start recruiting this child before birth?
  • To the girlfriend of Oku –  For rent, nice 3 bedroom condo in West Knoxville $0 a month,  University of Tennessee scholarship worth up to $30,000 a year (yes, I know tuition is much cheaper than that but you get the idea here) and a brand new Lexus SUV (car seat included).

Well, there you have it…the Oku saga continues and so does our distasteful, bad and crude blogging.

LOLvols – free frows

January 26, 2009

pearl-free-throws1