Archive for the ‘FWP’ Category

FWP: Sunglasses at Night Edition

June 19, 2009

fwpFearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

It’s 8AM, I’ve been at work for two hours and I am ready to go home. Hopefully, a little FWP will help pass the time until noon or whenever I deem a good time to head home. One place I will not be heading is to Louisville for “Downs After Dark” tonight. Yes, Churchill Downs, home of the most famous horse race in the entire world, will try out night racing for the first time tonight. My guess is that it will be a racing success and a social disaster. From a racing standpoint, it’s an absolute no-brainer. We’re in a terrible economy, where discretionary income is lessened every day. For many people, that means they won’t be able to go out to drink and gamble like they might once have. Well, when you put horse racing on a Friday evening, people can use their dinner money for drinking and gambling (much like I do everyday). Crowds will be absolutely killer and Churchill has already jacked up their admission prices to ensure they make every last dime they possibly can. Also, let’s not forget that you cannot watch Churchill on television live… anywhere, not on TVG or HRTV or even HGTV. So, the hardcore gamblers (the ones with jobs at least) will finally be able to actually see the races they are betting on. That is the part with this that I am totally on board, a homerun. Now, to the part that is going to suck: the people that are going to be there. One thing that Churchill Downs prides itself on (except for the Derby, of course) is their crowd is mostly people who are there for the races. It’s not like a Keeneland crowd where people go for drinking, socializing and to show off their new dress (Bru). Well, now it is going to be “the place to be seen.” I would say there will be a lot of dudes wearing their sunglasses at night (video below). Granted, Churchill doesn’t care who shows up as long as they get their $10 from each person through the turnstile, but that’s not a scene I want to be a part of. If Douchebag-Facebook-Status-Updates are any indication of the types of losers that are going to be there, I’ll be fine sitting on the couch with Blevs and Turner doing my gambling from 76 miles away. Lastly, Nick Nicholson better not be getting any ideas.

No choice but to move on, let’s do this.

  • elinwoodsTiger Woods will dominate the US Open. Bru and I went double-or-nothing on our car bet from last year. If you’re new, Bru and I bet last year on the number of majors that Tiger would win. The O/U was 1.5. He took the over and lost, I took the under and won his car. I decided to let him double down. As TGC pointed out in the early spring, “Bru, in about 10 years, you might be opening Smoothron’s Ford dealership.” Fine by me. Also, we all love Elin, Tiger’s sexy, Swedish, nanny wife. Well, done Tiger… as if you didn’t have enough going well in your life.
  • The NHL Playoffs will continue being irrelevant. Um, excuse, someone is telling me something. What’s that? They’re actually over? Oh, I would have thought someone would have said something about that. In all seriousness, I watched the last ten minutes of Game 7 last Friday night. Hockey just doesn’t do it for me. The only hockey story of note this year was that one guy calling Elisha Cuthbert his sloppy seconds. That made hockey important for about six hours.
  • Jodie Meeks will pray and pray and then pray some more. On Monday, Jodie crushed Big Blue Nation by not returning to UK and opting to keep his name in the draft. I really wish the best for Meeks, he was a bright spot on a very rough 2008-09 season, but this is a bad decision. After Meeks’ breakout performance against Tennessee (did you see that game, TGC?), defenses keyed on him. He struggled many times to get shots off against mediocre SEC defenses. I think he could have gotten quite a bit better under Calipari this year, especially his ball handling, but he’s gone. Now, Jodie will just have to hope and wait that some team will draft him in the first round where he will be guaranteed a contract. If not, he might want to brush up on his Arabic.
  • oliviawildeYear One will usurp The Hangover and become the #1 movie in America. Have you heard of Year One? It’s the movie that was advertised every f*#%ing commercial break during the NBA Finals. Michael Cera is one of the funniest people on the planet, but even I got a little sick of his “I’m awkward and don’t know what to say about sports” schtick at some point. The producers and studio must be praying this movie opens well or many heads will roll. The best part of the movie has to be that it features the uber-hot Olivia Wilde. Oh, Olivia, look how far you’ve come since you were playing hot, bi-curious Alex on The OC.
  • Bruce Pearl will prepare for an odd appearance in the coming week. NBA TV has hired Pearl as a Draft Analyst for the week. I don’t mean to rip on Tennessee too much this morning, but in what world does this make sense? Does Pearl, the basketball coach at UT, give NBA TV a big draw? More Vol fans would watch if Lane Kiffin were giving his analysis than Pearl. Thankfully, Bruce tweeted to let us know that he will be wearing a shirt.
  • Donte’ Stallworth will just be chilling in the clink. I’m not positive if clink is still used to describe prison, but it makes me seem like I have street cred. You would think, with all the media there is these days, that someone would compare the Mike Vick case to the Stallworth case. You know, because the two are so very similar. Either way, this really sucks for everyone involved. What? Stallworth went to Tennessee? Oh man, TGC is going to beat me.
  • lakergirlsThe second worst NBA Champs of the decade will keep celebrating. Yes, 2009 Lakers, you just beat out the ’06 Heat to NOT be the worst Champs of the 2000’s. How bad was that Heat team? DWade, Shaq and a bunch of clowns. Antoine Walker and Gary Payton got valuable minutes for that team. In reality, the teams are very similiar. They each have a superstar guard (Wade/Bryant), an aging PG (Payton/Fisher), a great big man (O’Neal/Gasol), an athletic swing man who can defend (Posey/Ariza) and an enigmatic pothead (Walker/Odom). I will give the Lakers the benefit of the doubt because I don’t think Dwyane Wade would shoot 573,829 free throws again. Hopefully, Garnett will return to form and LeBron will get some help next year so we can get away from non-memorable champions.

Hey, it’s almost 9:30 and I haven’t done anything at work so I better pretend to work for thirty minutes or so. Get by a pool, play some golf, hug your dad, help W move and drink one for me. Weekend!

FWP: The Moral Dilemma Edition

June 12, 2009

fwpFearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

Well, it has been a few weeks. Last time we met was before Memorial Day weekend. Lots of things have happened since then. I went to Block Island, Rhode Island (which is about as modern as its website) for my cousin’s wedding. My cousin is an Irish-Jew and he married a Jamaican girl. They were both in the minority fraternity/sorority in college. Let’s just say the single, white females were NOT out in full force. And, of course the hottest one there caused me to have a major moral dilemma. But, I’m from Kentucky… and we’re not blood related… so, whatever. Then, last weekend, Bru’s sister got married at Keeneland. Yeah, you can guess what that was like. The great thing was the reception was in the same room that my friend, Regis, and I once went to the 2003 Taste of the Bluegrass. It was $75/plate and by “went to,” I mean we snuck in. Oh well, we had a great time. (Smoothron note: I had this great opening typed up until the internet crapped out on me. I don’t have the effort to re-write. Let me say again, she is NOT blood related.) Let’s do this…

  • amymickelsonPhil Mickelson will play golf and that is awesome. Look, I know I usually (try to) be funny or whatever on here. But, Mickelson is playing golf during a time when his family is going through a terrible time. We’re all praying that Amy Mickelson gets better soon and keeps being a cougar for many years to come.
  • Yankee fans and Met fans will brawl all weekend. Both teams just lost big series to their biggest division rivals. The Yankees haven’t beaten the Red Sox all year. The Mets are starting to look like the ’08 A’s with all the guys they’re putting on the DL. The Yankees new stadium is giving up more HRs than a 2SL prom date. Met fans are born angry. The economy is bad. El Nino is back. Yeah, it’s going to be a sight to see in NY this weekend. I almost wish I would have gone, but… nah.
  • Pete Carroll will be invincible. One coach has a former player that is accused of receiving over $300k while playing college athletics. Another coach gives a guy a thousand bucks. Who would you think would be let go (Yeah, I’m sure he “resigned”) first? Well, Tim Floyd lost his job this week and Pete Carroll will continue to be the face of USC. Good job, Tim Floyd! I would like to announce my candidacy for the next Head Coach at USC. I will not cheat, I will let Carroll be the BMOC and will lose 30 40 lbs. for the USC coeds.
  • carrieprejeanCarrie Prejean will not have much to do. Oh, poor Carrie. She lost her Miss California crown this week, now what the hell is she supposed to do? I could think of a few things I would love to do with her. Anyways, let me ask one question. If you are gay (not that there’s anything wrong with it), do you really want Perez Hilton championing any cause you have? Seriously? That guy? Whatever, I will marry the former Miss California tomorrow.
  • Phish will rock at Bonnaroo. Yes, I love Phish. I really wanted to go to Bonnaroo, but there’s just something about not showering for four days that I can’t handle. I also really like my cell phone, my TV, my computer and my bed. I almost wish I would have gone, but… nah. (Also, don’t know if you like Phish or not, but this clip below is sick. Flat out nasty!)

  • The Nationwide Series will run in Kentucky. One would think that NASCAR and the Commonwealth of Kentucky would be a match made in heaven. Sadly, it isn’t so. I have a possible idea for why that is. Because I live in KY and haven’t heard anything about the race until today! Granted, I’m not the biggest NASCAR fan in the world, but you would think people would be abuzz talking about a race less than 90 minutes from my house. Nope, but everyone can sure tell you the two guys who are off the UK Basketball team as of yesterday (Matt Pilgrim and Kevin Galloway).
  • lakergirlThe Lakers won’t win the NBA Title. These predictions are just for the weekend, remember? Yes, the Magic will get one more win (even without Mickael Pietrus, the dirty Frenchy) on Sunday night. That will allow more money for ABC and the NBA and also allow the Lakers to celebrate their title in LA. We will then get to hear all the Kobe-lovers talk about how great he is. And he is great, but he’s still not (and never will be) Jordan. Let’s not forget, Kobe doesn’t have the signature shot in his career like MJ has about 15. Seriously, try and think of the greatest Kobe shot ever. Um… yeah. Now, think of the greatest MJ shot. Over Russell in ’98? Over Ehlo in ’89? Hell, you could even throw in the one from the ’82 NCAA Title game. Chew on that, Kobe-lovers.

There you go. I have been stealing money all day at work, so I better do something for the last hour or so that I’m here (yes, it’s 12:30PM as I type this). And, please remember, be better! (And, yes, I do realize that the ladies today are all blondes. I don’t discriminate. Especially to you… because, you know… we ARE NOT blood related. Thanks.)

FWP: ’09 Memorial Day Weekend Edition

May 22, 2009

fwpFearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

It’s about 10AM on Friday morning as I begin to write this. Yes, I am at work. Yes, I am on the clock. No, I don’t care that I am stealing money. There, I’m glad we got that cleared up. I’d like to clear something else up as well. It is very fun to talk about recruiting rankings, especially now that UK is being talked about as having one of the great recruiting classes of all time, but they don’t a damn thing. The Fab Five from Michigan is hailed as the greatest recruiting class ever; how many NCAA Titles did they win? Zero. Isn’t that what it’s all about? The Fab Five were awesome and they revolutionized basketball, but they never won a title so why do we consider them so great? Let’s look at 2004, another great time for Kentucky recruiting. Tubby Smith (who is lambasted for his “poor” recruiting) landed the top class in the country according to Rivals.com‘s rankings. That class never got past the Elite Eight (which they did as freshmen) and was filled with turmoil the years they were there. Randolph Morris played the Hokey-Pokey (one foot in…one foot out) with the NBA before finally bolting for good and Rajon Rondo was percieved as selfish during his two years in Lexington. The two guys who made it all four years at UK, Joe Crawford and Ramel Bradley, were forced to play with lackluster talent after their classmates left for the league and struggled mightily their senior year with new coach Billy Gillispie after Smith left for Minnesota. I’m not trying to be a buzzkill and I think UK’s class this year is totally different, mainly because their won’t be a huge talent dropoff in next year’s recruiting class, but let’s keep our expectations tempered UK fans. Enough with the ranting, let’s do this…

  • jillnuggetsThe Lakers will lose two games in Denver. LA is in big, big trouble. They struggled with a Houston team that didn’t have its stars and have been outplayed the first two games against Denver. I know I’m not the first person to say to say this, but their point guard play is awful. Derek Fisher is a shell of the guy who was there earlier this decade. He is absolutely killing them right now. And, somehow, the Nuggets are outplaying them in every facet of the game. Where did the Nuggets come from? I have no idea, but I feel like they’re here to stay… at least for this year.
  • The Mets will get humiliated in Boston. The Mets cannot score runs anymore. Jose Reyes and Carlos Delgado both get hurt and the runs stop going on the board; it’s not a coincedence. Now, they have to go play an AL team that puts up runs in its sleep. I’m sure Santana will be a stud tonight, but expect the Red Sox to put up about 746 runs on Saturday and Sunday. Things were great when the Mets went 16-4 over a 20 game stretch, things could get really ugly soon.
  • People will talk about hockey? I have this sneaking suspiscion that ESPN will soon be airing hockey again. They have led SportsCenter with it in the last couple weeks, on the same night as good NBA Playoff games. The WWL is slowly trying to drum up interest again in a bad product. Hockey sucks and Southerners don’t care about it. Please, spare us all.
  • laylakiffinLane Kiffin will commit a minor NCAA infraction. I can’t say exactly what it will be this time. Will it be an inappropriate tweet? Will he call out another SEC coach? Will he Superman some ho? Who knows? The only thing I know is that my UT friends are hoping his bark is like his bite… or just that the Vols win some football games this fall. Sidenote: his wife is still smoking hot.
  • Jake Peavy will not want to come to your city. Think about if you are Jake Peavy. You are 28 years old, you are a millionaire and you live in San Diego. You are living the dream about as well as anyone can live the dream. Why in the hell would you want to move to Chicago, especially if you have to play for crazy ass Ozzie Guillen? You would stay in San Diego unless some team came with a hell of a deal and was definitely going to contend for the World Series.
  • LeBron will tell his teammates to stop standing around. What the heck happened the other night? The Cavs were clicking for the first half, kicking absolute ass in the first half; the next thing you know, the Magic have chipped away at the lead and end up winning. Their offense was stagnant at best for the entire second half, though. It was awful, and LeBron looked pretty frustrated. I would hope that Mike Brown, who is an inept thief the NBA’s Coach of the Year, would be able to get things figured out. The Cavs win the next two games… easily.
  • The Indy 500 will run. Is there a less relevant sport in the USA right now than Indy racing? Hell, I would watch hockey over this crap. But, it will be all over your TV on Sunday afternoon. Enjoy!
  • calipariJohn Calipari will come to your BBQ, shake hands, kiss babies and still not sleep with your girlfriend. This guy is almost invincible and he’s yet to coach a game. He convinced the #1 PG/player in the country to come to UK after he’d already gotten the #3 PG to come (yeah, I know I’m going against my rant above), he sends out about 15 tweets a day to his 75,000+ followers and seems to be a genuine guy. All this comes before he coaches a game. Wait until he finds out what happens when he loses to Gardner-Webb.

Yes! Weekend! Long weekend! Pools opening! Go have the greatest weekend and always remember to be better.

FWP: I’ve Missed You All

May 15, 2009

fwpFearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

I guess it’s been a while since I did one of these bad boys (that’s what she said). I think I did FWP last in March, the month before April – the month that Keeneland is open. Keeneland was absolutely insane, 30,000+ people were there the last two Saturdays which makes the place almost not that fun. Of course, saying Keeneland isn’t fun would be like saying a date with Smoothron isn’t fun; and if I had been on a date in the last six months, I’m sure the nice, young, cougar would tell you I’m huge… I mean great. There has been a lot of stuff going on in the last month or so that we need to catch up on. The baseball season has gotten in full swing, a certain basketball coach has begun tweeting the day away, the NBA Playoffs are as good as they’ve been in my lifetime, the NHL Playoffs are trying to be relevant but can’t and we’re in the middle of the Triple Crown. To mark my return, this could be the longest FWP of all time. Fasten your safety belts, ladies. Yep…

  • vanessabryantKobe Bryant will come out with an epic performance in Game 7. After last night’s stinkbomb, isn’t another thrashing in the cards for the Lakers? The Rockets can’t play well two games in a row, no matter how much we all want to see a team that has lost Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming beat the best team in the Western Conference. Also, can you imagine how pissed the NBA would be if Houston played Denver in the Conference Finals? Goodbye ratings! Oh well, Lakers win big. Vanessa Bryant approves almost as much as we approve of her… and her forgiving heart.
  • TGC and EDay will come to fisticuffs. Oakland and Detroit only play twice during the regular season and the MLB chose the weekend that EDay and TGC would be out of town with big internet questions. MLBTV may not be in the cards for one of the biggest weekends of the season for my two compadres and that makes me said… until I remember they’re playing 72 holes of golf this weekend. Then, I want to vomit.
  • Kasey Kahne will win the All-Star NASCAR dealio Saturday night. I opened up the NASCAR website and he was the first person I saw. I have no reason to believe he will do anything well this weekend, mainly because NASCAR has regressed more than any sport in these tough economic times. I don’t know about you, but I feel like I haven’t heard anything about car racing this spring. Come on, rednecks, show your support and give NASCAR some more cash! Also, I don’t think Kahne has a hot significant other, no picture.
  • MariaVerchenovaaria Verchenova will begin her reign to rule the world. How to rule the world in three easy steps: 1) Be born attractive. 2) Be good enough at golf to move the hell out of Russia. 3) Date Smoothron. Check, check and… almost check. Apparently, everyone just found out about Maria and we should expect nothing less than the Kournikova/Sharapova/Williams Sisters  treatment. You’ll probably all be sick of her soon enough, as Mrs. Smoothron and I grow old together.
  • The Celtics will win their second Game 7 of the 2009 Playoffs. It’s absolutely remarkable that the Celtics will end up playing 28 games in two rounds in two years of playoffs. I’m almost sure that last sentence made sense too. The Magic are just losers, plain and simple. No player on that team has ever won anything memorable in their entire career. Hell, their coach won an NBA Title and then was run off by his players. Good effort, Orlando, now go back to being irrelevant. Please.
  • Brett Favre, Alex Rodriguez, Manny Ramirez and Michael Phelps. I don’t have anything to say here, but I bet you every dollar I have ever made you hear at least two of these names this weekend.
  • The New York Mets will not give Johan Santana any run support. The guy has lost two games this year. He has given up zero (0) (that looks like a boob, haha) earned runs in those two losses. You’ve got to be kidding me. I understand batters seeing their starting pitcher throwing darts and not going their hardest, but my gosh, the guy has lost two games and done nothing wrong! Be better, hitters.
  • JT will win Survivor. What? No one watches this show anymore? Well, it still sucks me in every f*#&ing time. This season was actually pretty good, oh who am I kidding, no one cares.
  • Friesan Fire will win the Preakness. He may have run 18th (out of 19) in the Derby, but this is still a champion horse. My buddy, Ludt, wouldn’t run him if it weren’t a real possibility that he could win. That’s at least what I will tell myself when I’m with all the other scum bastards at the Drive-Thru Betting line tomorrow.
  • ukcheerleaderJohn Calipari will tweet you, but not sleep with your girlfriend. Wow, I didn’t think I’d say that last part about a UK Basketball coach so soon. But, Calipari has come to Lexington and absolutely taken over the city and state. He’s on Twitter giving people motivation, he’s recruiting the #1 class in America, he’s getting Patrick Patterson to come back to school and he’s trying to take over China. He’s a hell of a guy in my book. It also helps me feel better that if I ever date again, the coach of my favorite basketball team won’t try and rail my special lady.

Enjoy your weekend, people. Whether you’re playing golf, coaching basketball or killing your liver… make it the best it can be. Sorry, all of Calipari’s motivational tweets must have gotten into me there.

FWP: I’ll Take A Crack At This

May 1, 2009

fwpFearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

Well it’s been about a month since the last FWP.  Keeneland has come and gone, baseball has started, and the Pudge Cup is off to a rousing start (unless you shot over 110 the first two weeks).  It’s about time we looked into the magic ball and gave you fine folks some visions.  Pudge will assist on this one.

hueThe Derby will come and go and no animals will be harmed during the filming. That’s right, no horses are going down this year.  With all the bad press following horse racing the last couple of years by the animal activist people expect trainers and event staff to play it safe this year.  No horses will be running with a bum leg and I don’t think the jockeys will push as hard.  Then again, who am I to predict that, it’s Derby time and all Hell is likely to break loose.  If you venture into that wretched mess this weekend enjoy the scenery and take your umbrella.

The A’s will be back near .500 at the end of the weekend. Hey, it’s just a hunch but I think they’ll take at least two from the Mariners on the road.  Dana Eveland will take his bearded self in tonight and throw a good game to start off the series.  After that, it’ll be a war but the division leading Mariners are due to flub one up.  Plus the A’s need some good news some time this week.

Ricky Hatton will own a small Phillipino in the ring. We don’t blog about boxing nearly as much as we wish we could on this site but this is the biggest fight of the year.  Pacquiao has been good in the past but he just doesn’t seem as hungry as he was in the past.  Hatton will throw with anyone and I’m predicting Hatton will lay the lumber on Mah-Mah-Manny on Saturday.

The Celtics will win game 7 in 4 overtimes at home. Are you serious with this series?  I stop by TGC’s last night after softball thinking I can watch 7 minutes of basketball and go home.  Wrong!  This series has seen about 93 overtimes in 6 games and game 7 shouldn’t disappoint.  Give me the Celtics in the Garden in a big game 7 any day.  That is unless Salmons goes off again.  In that case give me the Celts in 6 overtimes.

billyglastBilly Gillispie will hang around Lexington long after his time is over and still attempt to sleep with your girlfriend. Rumors of Billy sightings are almost more rampant than when he was initially hired around Lexington right now.  People see him at Two Keys for God’s sake!  Where next Billy?  Perhaps you’ll stop in at McArthy’s for a Guiness?  Maybe a little trip to the Tin Roof?  The man may be on stage at the Penguin this weekend, who knows?  All you do know is that Coach Cal better keep his daughter far away from this man.

That’s all this week folks.  SmoothRon is gearing up for Keeneland tomorrow for Derby, TGC is on the road to K-Town for a celebration, and 2SL is celebrating life as usual.  You should do the same and have a fantastic Derby weekend.

FWP: What My Cousin’s Friend’s Brother’s Nephew Heard Edition

March 27, 2009

Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

Sorry about last week.  I’m sure you didn’t miss me.  You were probably at your favorite sports bar just like I was all Friday long.  I would loved to have pulled the laptop (labtop) out at BW’s and write this, but our waitress was smoking hot and I felt I would have ruined my chance if I’d done that (I didn’t get her number).  Anyway, we’re knee deep in the NCAA Tournament and if you live in Central KY, you couldn’t care less about the games.  There is a soap opera going on with your favorite basketball team and you need to know what’s going on.  Thankfully, this may all be coming to an end.  I doubt this will stretch out too much longer.  I would say Billy G will be gone by the end of today (Friday).  While we’re here, let me weigh in on this mess real quick.  First off, Gillispie deserves another year at least.  The product on the court hasn’t been good enough and he’s made an ass out of himself and the program, but people are given second, third and fourth chances all the time.  But, I am also glad that my favorite team doesn’t stand for mediocrity.  A first-round exit from the NCAA Tournament and an NIT bid are not good enough for UK Basketball.  0-2 against Louisville isn’t good enough.  2-2 against Florida isn’t good enough.  2-2 against Vanderbilt isn’t good enough.  3-1 against Tennessee isn’t good enough… okay, maybe that is, but I had to get the shot in.  The bottom line is, UK has tradition and the administration wants things to be better.  You can lose, but if you are a great guy you might keep your job.  You can win and be an asshole and possibly keep your job.  You cannot lose and be a social enigma.

Mercifully, the good Lord has provided us with sports to take our minds off of this disaster.  Twelve NCAA teams will become four, Tiger is playing good golf right before the Masters, baseball spring training hits the home stretch and NASCAR is at Martinsville.  I’m at work, pretending to work… let’s see how long this can be.

  • You will develop a Pavlovian response to the sound of your phone vibrating on your desk.  Okay, maybe that one is just me.  Seriously, today is one of those days where you can never get too many, “You heard anything yet?” texts.  I am more the fan of the fake text.  If you send something like, “BREAKING NEWS: Gillispie out!  Adolph Rupp to coach next season,” you can usually get a rile out of people.  Plus, the Baron appreciates your thoughts on a day like this.
  • louisville-girlLouisville will walk to the Final Four.  How can they be stopped?  T-Will, Edgar (and the guy who paints his hair on everyday), Samardo and Earl see a title in their future.  Ricky Pitino is the best coach in the country and will out-wit both Russ Pennell and Bill Self.  It’s time to start thinking about a party on 4th Street.  Oh, sorry, there’s always a party on 4th Street.
  • New York Mets fans will hate the World Baseball Classic.  Seriously, Oliver Perez?  Get better.  You got way too much money this offseason to start pussing out now.
  • Missouri will press UCONN into a loss and admitting recruiting violations.  No coach in the country can make himself more money next year than Mike Anderson of Mizzou.  Premier jobs are open and the further he goes, the more cheddar he can rake in.  Georgia?  He doesn’t need your Georgia job.  He can start thinking about Arizona with a win in Phoenix over the Huskies.  UConn is finally distracted by the recruiting violation allegations and Hasheem Thabeet looks too slow in the 40 minutes of Hell.
  • whitneyportDenny Hamlin will win the NASCAR race.  He’s won at Martinsville a lot in the past (at least that’s what NASCAR.com told me).  Normally, I would pick a driver who has some hot girl associated with them.  A quick Google search didn’t lend that to me with Hamlin.  In that case, I’ll put up a picture of a smoking hot celebrity I’ve been thinking about lately.  Hmm… how about you, Whitney Port?  Sure, your reality show made me want to take a baseball bat to my nuts, but you are still smoking hot.  Denny Hamlin, do better with the ladies.
  • Villanova will beat Pittsburgh for the second time this year.  Levance Fields isn’t healthy enough to stay with ‘Nova’s guards.  DeJuan Blair looks like he’s just getting tired and Sam Young isn’t elevating like he once did.  Jay Wright’s team is playing really well as of late.  They absolutely locked Duke up last night and looked very efficient on offense.  Villanova marches on.
  • TIGER! TIGER! TIGER!!!   I would not want to be  a professional golfer right now.  The best golfer in the world has been back for a month or so and is just getting really good.  Hmm… that’s odd, the first major of the year is a couple weeks away.  Tiger has always known he would be getting very good around this point.  There should be no doubt in anyone’s mind that he can win the Masters in two weeks.  You heard it here first… or some other time after first.
  • Gonzaga will get to their first Final Four.  It’s time for the Zags.  The build up has happened for too long.  Ten years ago, they were on the cusp of the Final Four, and this is the year they get there.  Mark Few is poised to upset UNC again and will sneak past Syracuse in the Elite Eight.  Congrats to Spokane, WA; success couldn’t happen to a more irrelevant place.
  • kygirlsBilly Gillispie will get fired, then sleep with your girlfriend one last time.  Honestly, I’m feeling a tinge of sadness.   A little over a year ago, FWP started with a recurring joke about BCG railing your girlfriend.  Somehow, it stuck the whole time.  I really hope Gillispie nothing but the best.  He’s a hell of a basketball coach and was put in a very tough situation.  I think if either UK or Gillispie had known what they were getting into, they would have politely declined.  But, sometimes you have to be a man and take what’s handed to you.  Gillispie will find work soon, and probably very good and wealthy work.  Godspeed, Coach… but, on your way out of town, leave some blonde girls for us.

Yeah, weekend!  Be safe, watch sports and get ready for that extra $13 a week Obama is giving you!

UPDATE!  This was found on WKYT.com briefly.  It it now no longer there.  Take it for what you will.

coach-cal

FWP: Never to be Seen in Tampa Again Edition

March 13, 2009

Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

Hooray!  It’s Conference Tournament Championship weekend!  The Big Six Conferences will all crown their champions by 6PM on Sunday and then Seth Davis will be able to rip apart every team in the NCAA Tournament except for Duke (he’s sure they’re going to make a big run this year).  I like to look at this weekend as just a warmup for next.  Hell, I worked yesterday and am writing this from work right now.  If you think I’m going to work next Thursday or Friday, you must be as drunk as I’m going to be in about six hours.  Thank Mitch for the interweb, though, as I was able to listen to the Cats take down the Rebels yesterday.  Hopefully, I’ll be out of this place soon enough and can stop getting paid to blog (unintentionally).  This is a great weekend for all those who like to talk shit about things that don’t really matter.  Sure, Kansas, Oklahoma, Connecticut and Pittsburgh all got knocked out of their conference tournaments before ever winning a game.  Does that hold any weight at all?  Aren’t all of those teams still going to the Dance?  Even with those losses, it wouldn’t be a shock to see any of them in the Final Four.  Conference tournaments for BCS schools are all about money and are superfluous at best.  Is it fun to watch some good games?  Sure!  Can you tell me who won the 2006 Big XII Tourney (without checking out Wiki)?  I didn’t think so.  Watch the games, but don’t get your hopes up or down because of how well your team plays.

While this may be a basketball-heavy weekend, Round 2 of the WBC gets going, Tiger is golfing again and we all gear up for the only day of the year where drinking green beer would be encouraged.  Yep…

  • osugirls1Oklahoma State will win the Big XII Tournament; Lexington, KY will explode.  It’s no secret that UK fans are less than pleased with Coach Billy Gillispie right now.  The crazed fanbase is ready to hire anyone with UK ties (Pat Riley’s name has been mentioned which is just inane).  What do you know?  Travis Ford coaches the Oklahoma State Cowboys who just beat a top 10 team!  If you don’t think coaching for a job in Lexington is motivating enough for Ford, you were never at Redmon’s on Thursday nights when Ford coached at Eastern Kentucky.
  • Wake Forest will win the ACC Tournament.  They are definitely the most athletic team in the conference with Ty Lawson out for UNC.  Duke is obviously a bunch of whiny bitches who don’t have the cajones to play well three days in a row.  Lawson’s injury will be too much for UNC to overcome (have you seen Larry Drew II play PG for them…yikes!) and Roy-Boy will not want to get anyone hurt already knowing he has a #1 seed locked up.
  • The Netherlands will fall back to reality when it comes to baseball.  Look, it was a hell of a run.  No one not named Fjord thought they could beat the Domincans (twice!) to make it from Pool D to Pool 2 (See what they did there?  Lettered Pools to Numbered Pools.  Nice.), but the run ends at Pool 2.  The USA and Venezuela emerge from the almighty Pool 2 to take on Japan and Korea in Pool Triangle… or something like that.
  • asugirlsNo one will know the Pac-10 Tournament is actually going on, but Arizona State will win anyway.  How bad is basketball out West this year?  The Pac-10 has two teams in the top 15 and they both suck.  They just happened to have beaten all the really bad teams out West to move up the rankings.  Ugh, moving on.
  • Few will be awake to see Wisconsin win the Big 10 Tournament.  Oh, sorry, I just woke back up.  I accidentally turned on the Michigan St./Minnesota game.  The game clock read 3:35 left to play and the score was 27-26, so I guess it was the 2nd half.  Bo Ryan is the best coach in the conference and will find a way to get his team into the Dance.  Raise your hand if you like defense!  Actually, put both hands up, it’s better for your defensive stance.
  • Tiger Woods!!! Wooooo!!!!  The sound of schoolgirls yelping was actually that of golf executives when they heard El Tigre would be playing this weekend.  Sadly, he’s tied for 40th right now and I’m pretty sure that doesn’t put him in the final pairing on Sunday.  Bru still owes me his car.
  • Villanova will beat West Virginia in the Big East Championship game.  Louisville is over-hyped and Syracuse will be dead tonight so both will lose.  Jay Wright is a hell of a coach, Bob Huggins is a hell of a drinker; Wright wins on Saturday night because Huggins will be thirsty.  Real quick tangent, just because a basketball game is long does not mean it is great.  If a baseball game goes 20 innings, do people call it the greatest game ever?  No, because you usually see pitchers that are terrible and would never play in any other circumstance.  Thus, in a basketball game, you see players making plays they would never make because they are exhausted and have no energy.  They are not playing at a high level and the quality of the game goes down.  UK/Duke is still the greatest game ever played and Syracuse/UConn might crack the top 15.  Tangent… out!
  • lsugirlLSU will win the SEC Tournament and then Billy Gillispie will sleep with your girlfriend.  Look, everyone knows every team in the SEC has flaws.  Kentucky is inconsistent.  Florida doesn’t have consistent inside play.  Tennessee’s guards couldn’t guard me.  LSU lost twice last week.  South Carolina has Devan Downey and… I can’t think of anyone else on their team.  Mississippi State is coached by Rick Stansbury.  Auburn is coached by Jeff Lebo.  Alabama’s coach is afraid to yell at the refs because his mommy might get mad.  LSU won more games all year, so hell, I’ll take them to win it.  Also, ladies, watch out, this could be BCG’s last SEC Tourney.  He’ll be looking to go out with a bang!  Get it, “bang?”

Okay, I’m at work at UK/LSU is about to start.  I better start getting sick in a hurry so I can get the hell out of here.  Have a fabulous weekend you beautiful bastards.

FWP: Hanging on by a Thread Edition

March 6, 2009

Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

Well, last week we looked at the state of Kentucky basketball and posed the question, “What could UK do to surprise you?”  Hmm, losing to LSU wasn’t surprising.  Screwing up a switch/non-switch at the end of the game definitely didn’t surprise anyone either.  Getting absolutely worked over by one of the worst SEC teams this decade, AT HOME, was a bit surprising.  At some point, someone needs to take a rational look at this UK team.  Today isn’t the day to do that, but I’ll get to it at some point.  The bottom line is that this was never a good team from the beginning.  They have an elite player in Patrick Patterson.  They have a streaky scorer in Jodie Meeks.  Besides those two, they have a roster full of good young players and mediocre older players.  What is to be expected from a team that doesn’t have a legitimate third scorer?  Supposedly, this team can still salvage a tournament berth with a win in Gainesville and a couple wins in the SEC Tournament.  Deep down, I hope that happens.  The realist in me (he’s kind of an asshole) doesn’t believe it for a second.  The best thing to hope for now is Patterson and Meeks both return and start all over next year.  Then again, you never know what this team will do.

There are a lot of things going on this weekend.  The World Baseball Classic is in full swing, a certain WR is looking for work and another over-hyped Tobacco Road showdown.  Yep…

  • uncgirlNorth Carolina will drub Duke in Chapel Hill on Sunday.  Tyler Hansbrough is NOT losing on his senior day (a feat Jared Carter couldn’t get done).  Greg Paulus is still playing for Duke, right?  Okay, Ty Lawson will go for 20+.  I really hope Kyle Singler cries at the end.
  • Team USA will get a big win over Canada in the WBC.  While TGC and EDay woke up the other morning at 4AM to watch the China/Japan game, I decided to wait until Saturday to watch live baseball.  While Canada has a better team than you might think, they can’t handle the almighty USA!  Ah yes, American pride will reign once again.
  • The greatest basketball tournament in all the world will continue.  I’m talking about the Kentucky State High School Basketball Tournament.  KY is one of two states left that doesn’t have a class system for its basketball champion.  Every team has one title to play for and it is glorious.  Some may say that smaller schools don’t have a chance, but the majesty outweighs all the criticisms.  The regional tournaments are going on right now; girls’ Sweet 16 is next weekend, guys’ is two weeks.  Stay tuned.
  • Terrell Owens will not have “several” teams interested.  Drew Rosenhaus, TO’s sleazy agent, is claiming that several teams are calling about his most overrated client.  Say what you will about all the other teams in the NFL, but Owens is going to Oakland.  End of story.  The Raiders become more of a joke, we all get to laugh.  Everybody wins.
  • US-CINEMA-FOUR CHRISTMASESKaty Mixon will look sexy on Eastbound & Down.  Rawr!  If you haven’t seen Eastbound, you are really missing out.  Danny McBride plays an out of work pro baseball player (a la John Rocker) who is teaching PE in his hometown.  Katy Mixon plays his ex-girlfriend and she is super hot.  Watch the show.  Don’t lust after my new girlfriend, Katy, though.
  • My second favorite team in the country will beat UConn… again.  LeVance Fields, Sam Young, DeJuan Blair and the boys are prime and ready for a big run, I believe.  Connecticut comes to The Zoo tomorrow after just getting beat by Pitt a few weeks ago.  If you remember, Blair owned Hasheem Thabeet in the first meeting.  Tomorrow’s game should be no different.  Pitt by 12.
  • Brian Williams will get the respect he deserves.  All the guy does is change games and no one seems to care.  I didn’t see UT’s game against South Carolina last night, but all reports indicate that Big Beezy won the game for the Vols.  Also, Bruce Pearl needs to get some button down shirts again.  Lately, his latest attire of choice is a ribbed t-shirt under a sports coat.  That’s just inappropriate, especially with the way that bastard sweats.  The Vols will win on Sunday against ‘Bama… if Pearl starts dressing better.
  • floridagirlBilly Gillispie will come to your college town, lose to your college basketball team, then sleep with your college girlfriend.  Yeah Gainesville!  Florida is a hell of a college, who wouldn’t want to go there?  It’s warm ten months out of the year, they have a premier athletic department and it’s not too far from the beach.  What’s not to love.  Their basketball team isn’t at the level of the 2006 or 2007 teams by any stretch, but they’re still pretty good.  Nick Calathes is the best overall player in the SEC and Chandler Parsons has ridiculous “hops” for a white guy.  They’re also looking for revenge after Jodie Meeks pulled a shot out of his ass to beat them last month.  At the very least, can we hope for an entertaining game and not another snooze-fest like the UK/UGA game the other night?  Florida wins by ten.  UK fans everywhere put on suicide watch. 

That’ll do, people.  Have a hell of a weekend and if you are partying at a cabin all weekend, please don’t call me at 3AM.

FWP: What Could UK do to Surprise You?

February 27, 2009

Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

Has the basketball team at the University of Kentucky officially entered Plaxico Burress territory?  When Plax shot himself in the leg a few months ago, the APIAS crew debated what Burress could do at that point that would surprise anyone.  There weren’t many things that we could come up with other than, “Plaxico Burress will be a model citizen and will never be heard from again except for on-field accomplishments.”  With the latest situation regarding AJ Stewart… is he on the team? is he off the team?  did he quit?  did Gillispie kick him off?… has UK gotten to that point?  What can UK do to surprise anyone?  Hell, they went to Columbia the other night to play South Carolina in their biggest game of the year and got absolutely drubbed.  They have beaten Tennessee twice by 15+ points.  They lost to VMI.  Billy Gillispie has caused an outrage by not being nice to a sideline reporter.  Kevin Galloway has gone from outhouse to penthouse to outhouse to penthouse to outhouse to white girl’s house to penthouse to outhouse to still be continued.  DeAndre Liggins refused to go into a game.  Jodie Meeks scored 54 points in a game.  They got beat on a shot from Edgar Sosa from the volleyball line at the buzzer in Louisville.  And now, they have the AJ Stewart situation.  KSR, as usual, was on top of things last night.  As of post time for FWP, there’s still no official word from UK on the situation.  Who the hell knows anymore?  They could lose by 30 or win by 30 tomorrow, and neither would really surprise me.  UK Basketball 2009… feel the excitement!

If the drama of a mediocre sophomore doesn’t excite you, there are other things going on this weekend.  Spring training baseball has begun, free agency in the NFL got off to a ridiculous start, a golf tournament that looks like March Madness, NASCAR goes to Vegas and one NBA team makes an interesting move. 

  • ingridvandeboschJeff Gordon will win the NASCAR race in Las Vegas.  First, hats off to Matt Kenseth for winning the first two races of the year.  That’s something that doesn’t get done very often and that guy should be congratulated.  One thing he should not be congratulated for is his wife, Katie.  Dude, you’re a millionaire NASCAR driver… you have to do better.  One person who did realize their fame and used it accordingly is Mr. Gordon.  He bagged Ingrid Vandebosch for the sole reason that he is rich and famous.  Helll, I’d be okay with it too.  Look at her!  Who cares why she’s with him.  Obviously, Gordon is a lucky dude.  Vegas will be very very good for #24.
  • The Boston Celtics will begin to implode.  Seriously, Boston?  The Celtics have the best trio in the league and a great up-and-coming PG, so why the hell are they trying to kill every good thing they have going?  Yes, I know the Patriots got Randy Moss and he became a stud again who didn’t give up on plays that often, but the Celtics are NOT the Patriots.  Let me say that differently, Doc Rivers is NOT Bill Belichick.  That’s kind of like comparing a coach at the YMCA to Vince Lombardi.  Moss knew when he went to New England that they weren’t going to take any of his crap.  Marbury will do whatever the hell he wants and Doc will be too dumb to do anything.  I hate to say it, but Marbury will get in the way and they won’t win the NBA Championship.
  • Redskins fans will get a false sense of hope.  Good job, Daniel Snyder!  Once again, you have made terrible offseason moves.  Albert Haynesworth is coming off injuries and just got signed for QB money.  The ‘Skins also signed DeAngelo Hall for $40 million.  If you remember correctly, Hall was cut by the Raiders last fall.  The worst franchise in pro sports cut the guy and you’re giving him all that money, I’m sure this will all work out!  Another last place finish in the division is definitely in the cards for Washington.
  • 73704029RB173_The_Masters_RPhil Mickelson will win the match play tournament.  Hell, I don’t know all the sponsors for the thing.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Phil and I live very similar lives.  He’s left-handed, so am I.  He has brown hair, I have brown hair.   He loves to gamble, I’ve made a wager or two in my life.  He regularly shoots under par, I usually shoot under par when I play putt-putt.  He dresses well, I dress better.  He has a smoking hot wife, I like to look at his smoking hot wife.  For all these reasons, I hope Lefty wins this weekend.  Also, Amy Mickelson is sexy.
  • Connecticut politicians will waste your money.  How the Jim Calhoun story is still in the news, I have no idea, but now politicians in CT are calling for the governor to reprimand him?  Give me a gosh darn break (sorry for the salty language).  The whole reason this got brought up is because the state of Connecticut is in economic shambles and now they’re going to waste their time on punishing a basketball coach for telling a photographer to “shut up.”  Whatever happened to freedom of speech?  I will blindly blame Barack Obama.
  • Spring training baseball will make you wish you lived in Florida.  At least, that’s how I feel.  Imagine if you were retired, lived in Florida and could go watch spring traning games all February and March long.  Oh to be old and almost dead… you lucky old bastards.  Seriously, though, the WBC starts at 4AM Thursday morning.  TGC and EDay are planning on live-blogging it.  My live blog will be of me cutting trees down.
  • lsugirlsBilly Gillispie will deny you from clinching the SEC title, then sleep with your girlfriend.  Like I said before, I have no idea what the hell is going to happen with this basketball team, but I really want them to win, so a guy can hope, right?  Sideshow Bob Trent Johnson brings an LSU team to Lexington that only has one SEC loss and is the only ranked SEC team.  That’s not as impressive when you remember they play in the SEC West.  They, of course, have a Temple on their team… and that’s not even a Jewish joke.  Seeing as UK got drilled the other night, one can only assume they’ll come out and play their greatest game of the year.  What the hell else would make sense?  Also, for those ladies still riding the Mardi Gras high, watch out for BCG!

Golf, baseball, basketball, beers.  Weekend.  Cheers!

FWP: Alex Rodriguez Took Steroids

February 20, 2009

Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

Typically, we try to not do the breaking news thing here.  If you take a look at our collective “breaking news posts,” I would guess you wouldn’t find many of them came to actual fruition.  But, I feel really confident on this one.  Alex Rodriguez, baseball’s golden boy, took steroids for a period of time.  He will claim to have only done them when he was playing for the Rangers.  The years he will say will be sometime from 2001-2003, when he will say he was “24…25…26.”  Sadly, A-Rod turned 24 in 1999 and was never that age in 2001, 2002 or 2003.  Look, I know it sounds weird, but this will happen, mark it down.  Even weirder, he’ll say he sent his cousin to get the drugs in the Domincan Republic over-the-counter, but those drugs weren’t even sold OTC in the D.R. in those years.  Crazy, right?  How the mainstream media hasn’t gotten a hold of this is mind boggling.  I know none of this makes sense, but just listen to A-Rod and don’t ask any questions, especially follow-up ones, and everything will be just fine.

As fun as that crap will be to follow all weekend, thankfully the sports world is giving us something other than the travelling A-Rod circus.  College hoops is in full swing, a website is divided, the NFL combine, a big NBA showdown and tomorrow is Bracket Buster Saturday!  If you can’t get excited about Bracket Buster Saturday, then you’re a lot like I am.

  • APIAS.net battle lines will be drawn.  If you’ve been to the site ever before, you know that we all have different rooting interests in a lot of different teams.  None of those interests, however, run as deep as those for UK and UT.  Alas, TGC and 2SL will be rooting on the Vols as hard as they can tomorrow.  EDay and I will be praying for 2Pat’s ankle.  Bru will be texting all of us with hilarious, snide comments because UNC is so much better than both of those teams… combined.  Prediction below (I believe that’s what those in the business refer to as a ‘tease.’)
  • marisamillerDale Earnhardt Jr. will win the NASCAR race at Fontana Sunday night.  First off, let me say how embarrassed NASCAR should be for calling their biggest race of the season with 48 laps to go.  They had the national stage, on their biggest day of the year and let a little rain ruin things.  After getting lambasted by the national media all week, I would expect some changes to occur in the next month or so.  I will give them a little slack for having to travel cross-country for this weekend’s race.  I fully expect DEJ to do really well in the face of his former girlfriend, Marisa Miller, out in California.  I know I’ve asked before, but I’ll ask it again: How did a redneck like Dale Jr. bag a goddess like her?  Oh, right, because he’s rich.  Emmanuel Negedu’s #1 fan’s ex-boyfriend wins at Fontana!
  • The Waaaaaaaambulance will leave D.C.  Mountain West Conference commissioner, Craig Thompson, visited our nation’s capital for the past two days to cry about the BCS not letting his conference have a chance.  Without using any expletives, I’d like to tell Mr. Thompson to shut the hell up.  Is he serious?  How about the MWC be a real football conference, and then they can expect to play for national championships?  Yes, Utah beat Alabama.  Does any right-minded football fan think ‘Bama gave two craps about that game?  Utah would have gotten drilled by Florida, Oklahoma, USC, Penn State, Texas and possibly even Ohio State.  Be a real conference, then play in real bowl games.
  • Boston fans will hold their collective breaths.  Down goes Garnett!  Down goes Garnett!  Hey, Doc Rivers is a good coach, he knows what he’s do… HAHAHAHAH, sorry, I tried to get that all the way out, I just couldn’t.  Doc Rivers is a functioning retard with a really good team that would be hard to screw up.  If the Celtics had a good coach, they would sit KG for a month, lose some games, but still be okay with being in the top three in the Eastern Conference with a month left in the season.  What will Doc do?  How the hell would I know what that idiot is thinking?
  • annalynnemccordYou probably won’t go see Bring it On 3.  Oh, it’s called Fired Up?  Well, you probably won’t go see that one either.  It’s a little troubling though, in these economic times, that this kind of mindless shit can still be produced, edited and made into a movie.  The worse part is that people actually pay money to go see this stuff.  I’ll bet there’s some sort of life lesson learned by the protagonist at the end of the movie, there save your $12.  Sorry if I ruined the end for you.  If you’re forced to go, check out my latest love interest, AnnaLynne McCord.  In the wise words of TGC, “Rawwwwr.”  Watch out though, she’s a preacher’s kid and you never know about them… right, JBob?
  • Phil Mickelson will win the Northern Trust Open.  Hell, why not?  Is he not the luckiest man in America?  He plays golf for a living, is rich, has a hot wife, loves to gamble and has a hot wife.  He’s got it all, crown him the champ!
  • Pittsburgh will annihilate DePaul.  I try not to get emotional when watching hoops other than UK.  I usually do pretty well, until I watched Pitt this year.  DeJuan Blair is the next Charles Barkley, Levance Fields could find and kill Osama bin Laden in about two days if given the opportunity, and Sam Young is the most explosive jumper in all of college basketball.  What’s not to love?  Not to mention, this Pitt team even knows how to score!  UK is my allegiance, UNC is my pick to win it all, but Pitt is my favorite team to watch.
  • brucepearlgirlYou will make the trip up from Knoxville, coach and win a basketball game, but then Billy Gillispie will sleep with your girlfriend.  I’m talking to you, Bruce Pearl!  Do you really think you can take pictures with girls like this and think BCG isn’t going to take aim at your ladies?  Ha, nice try.  Look, I really want UK to win this game, but I just don’t see it.  First of all, UT has the revenge factor.  For a month, every time Kentucky plays, the highlights of Jodie dropping 54 on the Vols is shown.  That probably doesn’t elate the likes of BMaze, TSmith and WChis.  Okay, WChis doesn’t have a great ring to it, but I digress.  Secondly, Patrick “Beans” Patterson may not play.  I’ll take Smith, Chism and the best pound-for-pound player in college basketball, Brian Williams, against Josh Harrellson, Perry Stevenson and Jared Carter.  Lastly, I’m going to the game with BobWicket and just feel like UK is going to choke.  Dammit, that’s going to suck.  We will be looking for Gillispie and Pearl at all the Lexington eateries tomorrow night though, hoping to get some of their “leftovers.” 

Yep.  Weekend.  Enjoy.