Archive for the ‘Suckdome’ Category

A summer plea for college sports

July 6, 2009

Nobody needs to see this

I thought I’d take a quick look around this morning to see how college sports blogs are handling the dry “boys of summer” months.

How’d it go?  Er, make your own calls.

Take a look at Rocky Top Talk’s Jimmy Clausen fashion exposé… if you dare.

Over at EDSBS, examined are the merits of Ben Franklin, The Kool Aid Man, Fried Chicken, Evil Knievel, coitus with old ladies, and Raising Arizona.  Yeah, I don’t know either, but it made me feel a little more patriotic than I was before I read it.

We Want the Lion takes a look at tailgating games, so that you may be more prepared the next time you go to Lowe’s (and with plenty of notice no less).  Washers, Ladder Golf, and (our favorite) Cornhole are covered.  All of which can be built in your garage with PVC, 2×4’s, plywood and elbow grease.  If you are the type of pretentious jerk that buys them pre-made, steer clear of our tailgates this fall or risk wearing the residuals of a Jack & Coke on your Lacoste shirt and croakies.

I’ll keep looking around the web in search of College Sports news for you guys as we plug through the humidity and dial in to August.

Happy 6th of July, all.  May your weekend hangovers end promptly before dinner tonight.  And let’s all pray the hillbillies a block down from me have finally extinguished their 2009 firework allotment so I can watch baseball outdoors in peace tonight.  Assholes.

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Brazil Beats USA in Soccer… Of Course They Do

June 18, 2009

Surprising no one in the entire world, Brazil beat the USA 3-0 in the Confederations Cup today. The USA had exactly zero shots on goal, while the Brazilians had eight (8!). Two guys who go by only one name scored for the winners. I think I have figured out the problem.

Hmm… a bunch of tiny looking guys, no? What if they looked like this..?

Can you imagine how could LeBron, Kobe and Chris Paul would be on a soccer field? Tayshaun Prince would be the best goalie since… um, I don’t know of any great goalies in soccer history. But, he’d be pretty damn good. I would almost guarantee last year’s Olympic Champion “Redeem Team” could give a better effort than the current USA Soccer “team.” Hell, we might even let Coach K coach them, if they could actually get a shot on goal.

Opening Week: Best and Worst, episode 2

April 15, 2009

Best Math: Yahoo! Sports’ Jeff Passan.  According to Passan, the Cleveland Indians have hit the “Panic Number.”  Which is 1-6.  Which is technically two numbers. 

See why we call 1-6 the Panic Number?

It gets uglier when looking at the full seasons of the wild-card era. Since 1996, only three teams have finished above .500 after starting 1-6: the ’04, ’06 and ’07 Phillies, who seem to have a knack for reversing ugly starts.

It’s an interesting read.  Check it out.

Worst season opening scheduling:  Detroit.  The Tigers are in the midst of a 6-game 1pm start time streak, to be followed by 10pm, 9pm, 4pm (Sunday) and then three more 10pm games.  What’s a guy got to do to watch the Tigers on the back porch after work and not be up til 3am?  Sheesh.

Best Relief Pitcher-Hitter:  Nick Swisher.  In the throws of a 15-5 rout by the Rays, Swish pitched a scoreless 8th inning for the Yanks (oh, and homered).  He’s also hitting .458 with 4 dingers so far on the year.  And Eday had a beer with his dad in 2006.  What a guy!

Worst Relief Pitcher Hitter: Gabe Kapler.  Struck out against the first non-pitcher to throw in a game since Wade Boggs did it in 1997 (also for the Yankees).

Best APIAS homers surprise:  BobWicket’s Reds.  They’ve looked good and they are above .500.  Those two things haven’t been said in the same season since 2005.  I love the makeup of this team, now if only Dusty B would play more small ball.

Worst APIAS disappointment:  TIE Smooth’s Metropolitans and 2SL’s Cubbies.  The Mets have struggled in the close ones (3-4 overall), but the pitching is coming around and Johan is going to be fantastic.  The Cubs didn’t go undefeated.

Best Week Ever Ever:  Patrick Schuster. All Schuster did last week was throw 3 no-hitters.  No shit.  THREE NO HITTERS!  And his coach couldn’t be less enthused.  “He’s on a roll and he’s got confidence in every pitch he’s throwing right now,” Mitchell head coach Scot Wilcox said of his ace. “That’s why we’re seeing so much success out of him.”  Yeah, and I guess Scarlett Johanssen isn’t the ugliest girl in the bar tonight.  Schuster is a University of Florida signee, but something tells me he might not make it to Gainesville.

NOTE:  MLB has forced the takedown of all Youtube video of Nick Swisher pitching.  I’m thinking Steinbrenner had something to do with that…

Afternoon Wake Up Call: Opening Day Edition

April 7, 2009

wakeupAll kinds of things are happening in the sports world friends.  Some good basketball was played last night, some basketball odds went up, and lots of baseball was played.  Let’s get with it.

The NCAA Men’s Championship Game last night was a joke.  I watched approximately 5 minutes of both the first and second half and neither small window of viewing could keep me from flipping the old LCD back over to Component 1 and getting my Tiger Woods 08 on.  There was only one exciting play in the entire duration of my viewing last night and that was when Raymar got smacked in his broken nose.  I literally cringed when that happened, watched the aftermath, and promptly flicked it back to the Playstation.

With the laugher of a title game a distant memory, everyone can now turn their attention to next year’s NCAA season.  I heard on the radio today that UNC and UK lead the early props betting lines in Vegas at 12:1 odss for making the Final Four.  No one else is even 20:1 right now.  That says a lot about Roy’s ability to keep UNC stocked (they could lose 5 guys to the NBA) and Coach Cal’s abilities to bring in talent and coach.  I doubt he can turn UK around that fast, but I do appreciate the thought.

Baseball started yesterday and APIAS went 2-2.  Our National League teams both won while the American League teams lost.  The Tigers fought off the Toronto crowd (damned near literally) en route to a loss.  Oakland’s new-look offense didn’t bother to leave Spring Training as the A’s were swept by the Angels.  The Mets won a close one and the Cubs started their march to the 2009 World Series Championship behind a 4-2 win over Houston.

The only game I caught much of was the A’s game.  It looked like the pitching emphasis from the spring as Dallas Braden hammered the strike zone early and often with a strike percentage around 70% and only one walk in Wuertz and Bailey both pitched perfect innings in relief but it wasn’t enough as the A’s were shut out.

That’ll wrap up Opening Day as frigid weather throughout the Midwest and East make talking about baseball almost strange.  It feels like NFL season in these parts.  Our favorite thing for today is pretty obvious: baseball Ray.  As TGC likes to say it is the perfect game.  You’re never out of the game until the final out is recorded and there’s nothing quite like a night or, even better, a day at the park.  We’ll definitely be covering a lot of bat and ball sports this summer so stick around for road trips, live blogs that spring from the nether regions of a back porch, and plenty of bitching and complaining depending on how long it takes the Tigs and A’s to win a game.  Until next time, stay warm and watch baseball.  It’ll only be here for another 7 months folks.

TGC’s Opening Day observations

April 7, 2009

After one actual day 0f baseball… TGC observes:

The new mlb.tv is sweet.

CC got pounded.  Heh.

Canadians (ens?) are assholes.  (and in related news…)

No beer  will be sold in Toronto tonight.

The Mets may have just fixed their bullpen.

Ken Griffey Jr likes it in Seattle.

and

The AL Central is up for grabs for at least one more day.

al-central-winless

“… some kind of genius?”

January 29, 2009

09volshoops1

Better Felton than Kennedy I guess

January 29, 2009
Theres always the sandwich biz

There's always the sandwich biz

 

First Quagmire rails his wife, and now this?

Cleveland Felton out at Georgia as of this morning. [AP]

HT smooth for the mid-day text: goodbye lorenzo romar, i mean, uh, dennis felton!

FWP: New Year, Same Sh… Stuff

January 2, 2009

Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

Happy New Year, APIAS enthusiasts!  2009 has arrived; and not much has really changed.  I usually put some sort of build-up for the week in this spot, but things are going to be just a touch different.  I had totally intended to write a “Smoothron’s Top 10 Moments that Had to do With Sports that I was a Part of,” post, but that never happened.  And by part of, I mean watched… or saw or… whatever.  Well, really quick, here’s a short list:

  • USA Basketball Team Gold Medal Game: Bru and I were more excited about this game than anything else that happened all year.  I made the trek to NKY so we could watch together.  Lots of beers, one hell of a game, some drunken tears shed after the game and seeing the sun rise.  One hell of a night.
  • First Saturday of Keeneland Spring Meet -> Final Four Games:  The whole APIAS crew was around for this one.  We had the craziest tailgate of all time, won some cash at the track and later that night there might have been some basketball games on television.  TGC, 2SL and I also participated in the greatest session of texting about a girl in the same room ever.  1984 UK Basketball sweatshirt is all I need to say.
  • Music City Bowl: Technically, this was the last day of 2007, but it was a LONG day of drinking which led to 2008.  APIAS friend, Boski, and I made the trip to Nashville and met up with some people.  We got $10 tickets from a homeless couple and never made the 4 mile trek up to our seats.  After the game, all my friends bailed on me while I paid $40 to go into a shitty bar.  The things I will do for college girls in hot pants… ahh, memories.
  • First Saturday of College Football: There was a 9AM breakfast for the ages, which only could have been better if someone had made some damn eggs!  There was so much hope back then for all our teams.  Maybe RichRod would have Michigan ready.  Maybe Crompton was the answer for the Vols.  Maybe Mike Hartline could pick up where Woodson left off.  No, no and no.  Anyways, there was a ton of beer consumed that first Saturday.  The kitchen at APIAS headquarters looked like a damn war-zone afterwards.
  • BobWicket’s Bachelor Party: There was an NCAA Football 09 tournament, a golf outing, a cornhole tournament and 14 guys in their mid-twenties screaming at the television when Michael Phelps won his eighth (8TH!) gold medal.  Add that to the 3,000 beers drank and the “Roast of BobWicket,” and this was an all-time weekend. 

Enough of the looking back, it’s the first FWP of 2009!  Let’s roll!

  • BCS or no BCS, the Song Girls are #1.
    BCS or no BCS, the Song Girls are #1.

    USC will deserve to be playing Florida next Thursday.

     

      They were REALLY impressive last night against Penn State.  The Trojans were dominant on both sides of the ball, even after Joe McKnight got hurt and was out for the better part of the game.  All the bitching will never stop until there’s some sort of playoff, but USC and Florida are the two best teams in the country and should be playing instead of Oklahoma.  Also, Song Girls.

  • The Celtics will make a terrible decision.  Boston is supposedly looking into signing Stephon Marbury.  How is this possible?  Why would they want to do that?  This guy has killed every locker room he’s ever been in, and now the best team in the league wants to sign him?  He’s going to back up Rajon Rondo… and not bitch about it?  Don’t they already have Sam Cassell to bitch about not playing?  And, don’t give me the, “Their locker room is too strong to be broken, kind of like the Patriots with Randy Moss,” argument.  Doc Rivers couldn’t wash Bill Belichick’s half sweater.
  • Mid-major football programs will be humiliated.  First, Boise State lost their bid for a perfect run.  Now, Alabama will lay the wood to Utah.  I watched Utah play a few times this year and they definitely don’t have SEC speed.  I expect Julio Jones to not be tackled tonight.  Also, I watched Utah only beat Michigan by two points.  Michigan wasn’t very good this year, hell, Toledo beat them by more than two.  If this game isn’t within 4 TDs, I vote no non-BCS conference team can play in BCS games any longer.  Agreed?  Thanks.
  • With Anna around, Kris was a little better.
    Hooray, Anna!

    Derek Lowe will wake up and sign with the Mets.

     

      Hello, Derek?  It’s me, Smoothron.  I’d like to remind you that no one is really interested in you except for the Mets right now.  Also, our country is in a serious recession and the $12 million bucks they are offering is ridiculous for our economy.  Take the deal!  Seriously, the Mets need you.  If not, New York may have to go with Kris Benson again.  Or, on second thought, if he brings wife Anna with him, that might not be so bad.

  • All four road teams will not win this weekend in the NFL.  First of all, two rookie QBs aren’t winning on the road in the playoffs.  So, the Cardinals and Dolphins are winners already.  Secondly, Tarvaris Jackson is not winning a playoff game in the NFL no matter where they play it.  The Eagles are winners.  Lastly, Peyton Manning isn’t losing.  You want to know why?  Because I took him first overall in my postseason fantasy league.  If you know me and my hatred of Manning, this is a big deal.  The Colts are winners.  Two road teams win, two don’t.  Bet on those.
  • Tennessee will sneak out of Phog Fieldhouse with a win.  It won’t be pretty, but Bruce and the boys will not lay another egg like they did a few weeks ago on a Saturday afternoon on ESPN.  Kansas is down, but not terrible and will provide some trouble for UT, but they’ll be tough down the stretch and get a W.  Life will be good, and TGC will be drunk.  Everybody wins.
  • My new girlfriend, Kaley, will be cheering for the Cats.
    Kaley loves the Cats.

    Billy Gillispie will beat the Cards, then sleep with your girlfriend.

     

      It’s time for the biggest rivalry the Cats have.  No offense to Florida or recently Tennessee, but Louisville is the biggest rival for UK.  It will definitely not be easy for the Cats, now that the Cards are coming off an embarrassing home loss to UNLV.  It’s never good to have to play a Pitino team after a bad loss.  Practices after losses like that were staples when he was at UK.  I still think UL was overrated to start the year (by the experts and myself) and they don’t play as a team.  Edgar Sosa absolutely kills any offensive flow they have and will probably end up making Ricky P. bald.  Cats get five-point win in the Ville.  I hate the Ville and I think that’s a sentiment held by all of APIAS.  Oh yeah, after the game, Billy G. will be ready to go.  Hide your special lady!

There you have it.  First one of 2009 and it felt a lot like 2008 and 2007.  Did we even do this in 2007?  Go out and continue celebrating the new year.  The Cats play football in about 2.5 hours and I have a half of a keg left to drink.  Cheers!

The Case for DeAndre Liggins: Indiana Edition

December 14, 2008

dligAs we said back after the Miami game UK’s point guard play has been a source of debate and we’ll be keeping up with how the two primary point men for UK (Liggins and Michael Porter) do in each game.  Enough with the intro, on to the stats.

Performance of the team through each game segment:

20:00 (1st) Porter start. 0-0
13:11 (1st) Liggins in, Porter out.  17-2
8:25 (1st) Porter in, Liggins out.  29-6
3:29 (1st) Liggins in, Meeks out.  34-13
Half 36-13

20:00 (2nd) Porter start.  36-13
19:31 (2nd) Liggins in, Porter out.  38-13
16:11 (2nd) Galloway in, Liggins out. 40-21
15:24 (2nd) Porter in, Galloway out.  40-21
11:51 (2nd) Liggins in, Porter out.  41-26
1:52 (2nd) Galloway in, Liggins out.  63-42
1:17 (2nd) liggins in, Galloway out.  65-48
END 72-54

The players’ contribution for the entire game in +/- differential while they were playing point.

Porter +11
Liggins +9
Both +2
Neither -4

Another close game goes to Michael Porter on the point differential, but not by much.  Again, lack of competition makes the stats for this game a bit worthless but we do believe Porter played a good, solid game at the point in this one.  Not spectactular, but competent.  You know, more Mike Hartline than Randall Cobb. 

Liggins on the other hand did contribute and pushed the tempo a bit as usual, just a little too carelessly at times.  10 points in the game for DeAndre are offset greatly by his six turnovers.  The two players’ box score lines for the game are below.

Porter 0 points, 4 assists, 2 turnovers, 2 steals, 1 rebound
Liggins 10 points, 3 assists, 6 turnovers, 0 steals, 2 rebounds

Pretty ugly for Liggins on the 6 turnovers and 2-6 from the field isn’t stellar.  What we do like is 6-6 from the free throw stripe and the fact that he got to the line more than anyone on the team (Patterson also had 6 attempts on the game).  If I think of what I want out of a point guard it is 1) run the team, 2) value the ball, 3) initiate the offense, and 4) shoot the ball well.  Right now Porter is doing a good job of #2 but not much else.  The team doesn’t look particularly inspired while he’s in the game, he doesn’t start anything as a threat on offense, and contrary to the traditional thoughts of UK fans, every white boy can’t shoot as Porter will show you. 

Liggins on the other hand does a good job of #1 and #3.  He shoots decently but not enough to be a real threat.  Very similar to Porter.  He does seem to instill some confidence in the team to score the ball and run when he’s in the game.  He also will initate the offense, as seen by his 6 free throw attempts.  Liggins does a good job of getting the ball in the lane and making shots, passes, and drawing fouls. 

Again, we’re not the coach here.  Billy seems to be doing a good job of running this team and they seem to be pulling some things together.  Just need 40 minutes of play (primarily defense) like the start of the IU game to be the norm instead of doing so for just a few minutes.  Turning the ball over less than 5 times per game out of the point guard spot would go a long way toward this season’s success as well.  Hopefully Liggins and Porter will combine for that before conference play starts.

Giles leads the Exodus… thanks for stopping by

November 10, 2008

As 2SL and I have discussed on many occasions over the past week since the Fulmer firing–up to and including the Wyoming pwnage–the moment has come.  The fabled savior class of 2009 is beginning to self-disassemble.  Starting with the first 4-star running back we’ve lured out of Florida since Travis Stevens.

Yep, Jarvis Giles looks to be headed to South Carolina.

That makes the total 4 so far: Giles, DJ Swearinger, Dominique Allen and Antonio Foster.

Your move Tajh Boyd.

SIDE NOTE: As TSIB also points out, starting PG Daniel West has been ruled academically ineligible for the season.  That can only mean one thing.  MORE HUBERT FOR EVERYONE!

[Third Saturday in Blogtober]