Sandwich Pickem Scramble Week 5

Week FORE! Recap: PB and Bobbo tied MJ with the best week of the year last week with 9/10.  Bean Himself was worshipping along with Sabanation and it failed him, whilst The Wicket did not believe in the power of a 1-2 Maize and Blue against a set of coke bottle lenses.  At any rate, good week fellas.

Over on the Awayers side, Extra P continued his string of 6’s alongside our heroine (who listened to Bob Kesling describe Erik’s career day and put up with my IM-degrading-of-the-defense) and Burnsy (who apparently spent last saturday yelling at old ladies).  Matt J bagged 8 to maintain the solo lead, and also passed up a chance to ride the Big Blue Juice Wave into (and out of) Fayetteville.

While the Homers increased the team lead to 5, Smoothron dropped 2 games, and stayed 1 back of the overall lead.  Eday was able to celebrate another big UK win without slicing any flesh this week, and along with yours truly and 2SL (who, for some reason liked Clausen to beat a Big 10 team) finished with 7.  And honestly folks, who doesn’t like ol’ Stevie Johnson?

ONTO THIS WEEK: Probably my favorite game this week is the Cal-Oregon matchup.  Both teams have deadly offenses and enjoy a good wacky play call every now and then.  Another big one is Bammer at FSU.  All kinds of historical storylines hear, I wonder if the WWL will pick up on any of them.  The first matchup of the Commander-in-Chief trophy happens this Saturday as well with Air Force @ Navy.  Also this impending question, can Kragthorpe beat NC State?  (Printable Grid above)

AWAYERS

HOMERS

This week’s best from the Aristocracy:

WVU @ USF
Not even a million words can describe how much I hate USF. – burnsy
It’s really embarassing for the Bulls that they have to play in Raymond James Stadium, the place was less than half full last Saturday.  There will probably be at least five high school games in FL that outdraw this game Friday night. – sr
Oh, Friday Night Lights, great show.  I pick coach Taylor and the Dillon Bulls to pull the upset for a ratings bonanza. – xp
West “Fucking” Virginia over South Florida.  I just have this feeling that USF is good, but not quite ready to step up to that level of play. – eday

Penn State @ Illinois
When interviewed by apias.net, Zook had this to say, “Fuck Lion,” when informed that the head coach of the Illini was Ron Zook, Zook had this to say, “Oh, right, yeah, I’ll take Penn State… you wanna go wakeboarding?” – tgc
I think a Lion could definitely eat an Illini, even if he was a Nittany Lion.  I’m going with PSU. – xp
Maybe this week Joe Pa will hire Matlock to figure out where his balls have gone. – burnsy
Hell, even an asleep JoePa can out-coach Ron Zook. – sr

Air Force @ Navy
Navy had to muster up a fourth quarter run to beat Duke, that means they’re not a very good football team. – sr
Navy over Air Force.  Because in two weeks I’ll be in Imperial Beach hanging with a bunch of Navy guys.  I do NOT want to explain to those guys why I picked AF in this one. – eday
Air Force has control of the skies, but Navy has ships AND Marines.  Midshipmen it is. – xp
They should play this game on an aircraft carrier and instead of balls they should use missiles and instead of playing each other they could play Al Qaeda and they’ll go into sudden death and Bin Laden will call heads for Al Qaeda and he’ll say, “We”ll take the ball and we’re going to score.” And then Pat Tillman’s ghost will arrive and shoot him in the head and he’ll say, “Forfeit, bitch.” – burnsy

California @ Oregon
In an effort to maintain their strangehold of the worst uniforms in college football history, Oregon players will wear actual live ducks during the game.- burnsy
Bet the over on this game heavily.   – sr
Oregon over Cal.  Four words sum this game up: “The Duck Is BACK!” – eday
Cal has that ‘team of destiny’ feel about them this year.  Narrow road victory to the Bears. – xp

Clemson @ Ga Tech
Clemson.  I have nothing clever to say about this.  It’s just that uninteresting. – xp
C-L-E-M-S-Q-D-D-D-K-7-Q… I wish my pa done teached me to spell. – burnsy
Clemson by one awesome gas station/club/diner. – tgc
How bad is the ACC?  Miami could very well run the table in conference the rest of the way, and were absolutely embarassed by Oklahoma.  This wouldn’t happen if Jimmy Johnson’s hair was still coaching at the U.  – sr

Louisville @ NC State
A NC State win would help UCF’s strength of schedule. Did you even know that UCF had a strength of schedule? – burnsy
Wow… sucktastic.  Um, NC State, I guess. – xp
Bet the over on this game heavily. – sr

Alabama @ Florida State
I’ve been picking against Bama and it’s not working for me.  This week, the Elephantide wins, and I revel in the approbation of my peers. – xp
Bobby Bowden meets his “Ghost of Christmas Past” in Nick Saban. – sr
Two coaches who I wish would die while in a gay 69 embrace so they’ll both be ridiculed for eternity. – burnsy

UCLA @ Oregon St
DUCKS!!!!!!!!!!! – xp
attn: extra p, what the fuck does that mean? – tgc
If the… I mean, Coach Dorrell can’t have his team ready to play better in Oregon than they were in Utah, it’s probably time to start looking for work somehwere else.  – sr
UCLA over OSU.  Ever since I was a kid I have hated beavers.  Not quite sure what it is, but fuck those flat-tailed pieces of shit. – eday

Auburn @ Florida
Good lord.  Florida, of course. – xp
And grown men everywhere will continue to masturbate to pictures of Urban Meyer. – burnsy
Barely beating Ole Miss > Getting beaten by Sly Croom; actually Getting Beaten by Sly Croom < Anything in the world – sr

Cincinnati @ SD State
I can’t name one person playing in this game. – burnsy
As long as Marshall Faulk isn’t playing for the Aztecs, I feel pretty good about the Bearcats.  – sr
Cincy is an interesting surprise this year.  I think they’ll win this one. – xp
Cincinnati has The Beach Waterpark, which I attended in August.  Toddlers, long lines, fat guys in wet tshirts.  San Diego has the REAL Beach which I am attending in October, not to mention its dirty neighbor Tijuana.  Surfing. Beer. Boobies. I’m going with the guys less distracted during the week. – tgc