The man pictured left is not headed to the All-Star game. He is the Duke of Wellington, or rather he was the Duke. He’s actually been quite dead for over 150 years. In his time he was known as the Duke of Wellington, Marquess Douro, Prince of Waterloo, Duque de Ciudad Rodrigo, and Lord Doosh Baag. Never was he known by the title American League All-Star pitcher.
Now, the man pictured at right is an entirely different story. He is, in fact, an American League All-Star pitcher. He is known as the Duke of … well, nothing really. It’s just a hell of a lot easier to call ’em Duke than Duchscherer. The girlfriend still has problems pronouncing Justin’s name (“Duke sure” is the easiest way to go about it). It’s kind of like Worcestershire sauce she says. Tomato, potato, who cares? All I know is that the A’s have the 5th best record in the league and they’re only getting one guy to the All-Star game. This blogger couldn’t personally be any happier.
Why’s that you say? Well, the facts are on the table. The only other guy on the A’s team who may have been sent to the Midsummer Classic was Rich Harden. I’m not the most intelligent person in the ways of the front office in Oak-Town, but I guarantee Billy Beane is on his knees thanking God that Harden is not going to the All-Star game. It’d be the perfect opportunity for him to throw his shoulder off. No, I didn’t mean to say ‘out’ in that sentence, I mean literally off. If he and Kerry Wood were both at the All-Star game I’m pretty sure one of them would die from a shriveled vagina. I love Rich, but seriously, he and Crosby need to spend less time watching Lifetime and more time stretching.
But back to J. Duke. The man makes his second All-Star appearance. I won’t ramble about how awesome it is that he’s made it as a starter and reliever because better writers have done so already. I’m just happy that a guy who was willing to sacrifice some of the things he wanted in his career for the good of the organization is getting recognized. Now, if we can just get Terry to play him in the game this time. Please!