Archive for the ‘Throwin’ Shit’ Category

Basketball fight… in Detroit… Bill Laimbeer… GIRL FIGHT!

July 23, 2008

With all the hoopla surrounding the “brawl” that took place last night in Detroit, I feel it necessary to supply the obligatory commentary.  The Sparks will surely be without Candace Parker for a few games, and some other player probably will get fined or something. 

Which brings up another question: Does it make sense to fine a “professional athlete” if she makes, say, about as much as an architect with 2 years experience?  What point does that prove? — “Please send in your $30 check and written apology to the league office by next Wednesday at 9am.”  — Damn.

At any rate, I wanted to share the theatrics from our vantage point.  From where we were sitting, it looked like the big one, while down early, got the most of the smaller one.

Pay special attention around the 1:14 and 2:38 marks.

Kimi’s reign of terror continues

July 22, 2008

The world’s highest paid athlete–F1’s Kimi Raikkonen at $51M (USD) annually–continues to make clear that he’s not taking no shit off-a nobody.  If you have a problem with that, you’ll have to come find him swimming in his pool of Finnish Euro’s to tell him so.  Either that, or grinding behind some Swedish karaoke singers.. in mid-song!

A week after knocking a cameraman on his arse, he’s now attacking seemingly innocent Asian women and children in Germany.  Video after the shove jump.


D-Train’s tracks headed toward The D?

July 21, 2008

With the series split in Baltimore, the Tigers pull back to .500 and have named former starter-turned-reliever-turned-starter Zach Miner as the newest in what has become a revolving-door 5th spot in the rotation.  This news out of Detroit had me wondering what the heck D-Train is up to down in Florida.

The guys over at LFTBlog were awesome enough to post a little video of Willis throwing last week in his first start with Lakeland.

As you can see below, its pretty clear that the Tigs pitching staff has calmed down his ridiculous leg kick and slowed down his approach to the plate considerably in light of his recent diagnosis of tendinitis in his landing-leg.  The differences are pretty clear. 

Here’s D-Train last year:

Here’s last week:

What does that mean for his short- and long-term prospects with Rock City? Freep has it this way.

Lakeland pitching coach Joe Coleman told The Lakeland Ledger that Thursday’s outing was “a very positive step toward Dontrelle’s return to Detroit.”

We’re going to learn a lot in the coming 12 days (3 with the Royals, 3 with the Palehose, and 4 with the Indians).  Here’s hoping our $29M man is around to contribute.

[LFTBlog] [Freep] [WWL]

Paging The General: 44 Days

July 19, 2008

We’re always one week closer to kickoff, and what better way to celebrate that today than to pull out the old Orange and White family truck, give her another coat of Tennessee Mountain Gloss, tune up the 8-banger and find that quarter bottle of Jack you left under the seat after the LSU debacle last year.

Come September you’ll be pulling it out of the driveway and heading to the Fort.  (Does anyone remember the old corner store and Saturday Morning Croquet? ) You’ll meet up with the old Flippy Cup clan and defend your championship.  (Video after the chug, flip, flip, cuss, flip, cuss, jump)


Paging The General: 52 Days

July 11, 2008

The Dog Days of summer are upon us, the All-Star Break is next week, and somewhere in West Knoxville a man and his boat just parted ways for the mid-summer cleaning.  One day soon they will be reunited and will charge forth across Ft. Loudon Lake towards the shiny beacon on the north coast of “The River”.  And that day he will join his companions… in the 2008 Vol Navy.

52 days til Manifest Destiny on the West Coast, a new suit for Wu, and all my rowdy friends coming over.

“Volunteer Football 2008 – Straight Outta Cromtpon”

Is it time for EVERYBODY PANIC Detroit!!?

May 15, 2008

Not quite yet, but when the following facts are true, we’ve gotta be getting close.  Here’s a summary of the lead-in.

  • The Tigers currently have a worse record than anyone in MLB not named Mariners, Rockies, or Padres.
  • That list does not include the Cincinnati Reds, who are riding a 3 game winning streak, including a series win against the former best record in baseball Marlins, while the Tigs are 1-8 in the last 9.
  • The Rock City Cats are 0-5 against AL Central doormat Kansas City (the team payroll differential is a mere $80.4 M, or 1.4 times KC’s entire roster).
  • Justin Verlander, the staff ace, is 1-7.
  • The city’s big-high-five count is at a quarter-season low not seen since 2005.
  • Detroit is located mere feet from Canadian soil. (Okay, so that’s pretty constant, but c’mon, when it rains it pours)

So maybe not time to pack it in and call it a year, after all, they do play 162 of ’em for a reason.  But let’s raise the concern level a little here Jimmy, we can’t count on the division leader to hover around .500 all year (*cough 2005 NL West).

Jimmy, it’s time to yell at somebody.  And this time, do it in public.  Sheesh.  Really?  The stinkin’ Reds?

Enjoy this gem from Asheville @ Lexington in ’06.  Not new, but it sure seems therapeutic.  Give you any ideas Jimmy?

FWP: See you in Knoxville, I’ll bring the shine

February 29, 2008

fwp.jpgFearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

Yep, this is a pretty big weekend around the APIAS patio.  Kentucky is fighting for their tournament lives while Tennessee is rebounding from a loss hours after being crowned #1.

While it might be easy to suggest that UK has more at stake this weekend, there are some things on the Vols wish list that make Sunday’s affair more than a trap-game.  The Vols are undefeated at home over the past 2 seasons.  They have not won an outright SEC title in nearly 40 years.  The road to an SEC tourney title for a #1 seed fairs much easier than a 2 or 3 (Not to mention that the Vols haven’t been past Friday in 20+ years).

Then there’s the  ol’ NCAA 1-seed, which I’m calling locked up, but some disagree.

Things are picking up in Blogfrica too.  Losers With Socks takes some hilarious digs at Big Blue Nation while Wildcat Blitz is still hanging onto its pedestal (I’m not sure how, though, at 16-10, RPI 65) with an open letter to UT fans (written by a journalism grad from UK, but not in its original crayon, someone must’ve typed it out). 

Also, the Lexington Herald-Leader, for some reason, chose this week to compare Bruce to UK’s good ol’ days of Ricky P’s up-and-down exciting basketball.

UK fans long for their team to again employ the up-tempo, full-court style Rick Pitino used in the 1990s while leading Kentucky to its most successful decade in modern times…  In his three years in Knoxville, Bruce Pearl has produced a near replica of the magical early years of Pitino at UK.

Well boys, I have UT fans telling me its gonna be a romp.  I have UK fans saying the same thing.  I have blogs talking shit.  And I have a car packed up and ready to hit the road to Knoxville.  So get out of my way, time for the FWP:

The weekend revenue for Nixon’s Deli and Petro’s will increase by approximately $20.

Ryan Childress will pick a fight with Ramel Bradley over who’s hand gestures are more awesome.  AJ Stewart will continue to be confused.

JP Prince will have 9 points and 10 turnovers.  Michael Porter will have 19 turnovers.

Billy Gillispie will spend the night at Massey Hall and sleep with the 3rd floor (but not the fat bitchy RA… she only gets a dry hump).

Barry Bonds will drive to Ontario to try out for the Canadian National baseball team, before being informed that Canadiens do not play baseball.  Sits down for french fries and gravy.  Cries.

The Cats will cover. (Update: Patterson has a broken ankle, out for year)

Til next week, keep your hands off my sandwich bitches, I drove a long way for this.

FWP: Volume 1 – Go Fast, Turn Left, Put your shirt back on ma’am

February 15, 2008

fwp.jpgSo after a year or so of on and off T’d up columns, the novelty had worn a bit and finding worthy targets had become increasingly difficult (read: I got lazy with it). 

However, still needing to fill my column inches on Fridays, we’ll be introducing a new series of Friday Sandwich Love: Fearless Weekend Predictions. 

This weekend kicks off the NASCAR Nextel Sprint Cup season at Daytona with the 50th running of the Great American Race.  The Vols and Cats will be in action on the hardwood.  The NBA is probably playing.  And the Premiership surely has some games.

On with the FWP:

  • Dale Jr will lead nearly half of the laps before being knocked out of the race by Kasey Kahne, who will then attempt to start a new beverage feud (since we all agree Kurt Busch is a tool).  The crowdfeltoncleveland.jpg will collectively ask “what the hell is AMP soda?” and pick a shirtless fight in the turn 4 grandstand.
  • Chris Lofton will set another SEC record by hitting 11 consecutive 3’s at Georgia on Saturday, including 2 from the balcony, and one off Dennis Felton’s forehead.  To which Felton will reply “that’s not the kind of thang I want goin’ on in mah living room” and go back to his sandwich shop.
  • Tottenham will play to a 1-1 draw with Chelsea in the Carling Cup.  Noone outside of Winchell’s on Southland will notice. 
  • The Kentucky Hoops team will break 50.
  • Billy Gillispie will sleep with at least one of your girlfriends.
  • Brian McNamee will inject your wife.


  • OJ will continue to try to find his wife’s killer.

Til next week sportsfans… don’t eat yellow snow.

I guess everyone’s fuse triggers differently

February 7, 2008

Yes, we all kinda already knew Berman was a jackass…

But here’s the reason why…

The Showdown in Lexington; it matters again

January 22, 2008

pearlmears.jpgAs you can tell from our seasonal basketball-themed header, the bloggers loitering around these parts hinge college basketball season on the success of pretty much only 2 teams.  Myself and 2SL being the orange ones, with Ron, Eday, BobWicket and TheW bleeding  blue.

 That makes tonights game in Lexington quite the important matchup.

We can look at this season and see how this might not add up to a great game on paper, but it doesn’t take all that much digging to find sparks of rivalry and tradition between the 2 teams.  From the days of the Ray Mears/Adolph Rupp mutual loathing to the passing of the orange jacket (around DeVoe and over Houston, O’Neill, Green, and Peterson) to Bruce Pearl, this rivalry–while admittedly once dormant for a few decades–has all the heat and passion of the late 70’s… maybe more.