Archive for the ‘T’d up’ Category

This week’s T’d Up: Chris Jessie, can’t keep his hands off balls

December 28, 2007

T’d Up is a weekly column that runs on Fridays selecting, in our humblest of opinions, the biggest sports Tool of the Week.  

What better way to trumpet the triumphant return of the Weekly T’d Up column (and the end of the pain-in-the-ass cat-herding that is organizing blogger Pick’em) than to point and laugh heartily at the single craziest College Football bowl  moment I have ever witnessed.

myball.jpgFor the six of you who don’t already know, Mack Brown’s step-son Chris Jessie, who plays tea-party coach support staffer for the Longhorns, attempted to pick up a LIVE BALL during last night’s Holiday Bowl.  He realized mid-reach what he was doing, jumped out of the way,  and shamefully waddled to the back of the bench area looking for a hole to crawl in.

Story at 11…. I mean after the “get off my back dad or I’ll” Jump…


Duke to UK: Hahahahahaha (with love from TGC)

December 27, 2007

Okay, so I’ve never been the first to kick a man while he’s down–especially my friends–but I found this over at KSR and they seem to have well-enough spirits about it and their current plight… so here we go.

A pretty funny independent music video from a Dukie to Wildcat Nation… filmed right here in Lexington, brought to your eyes and ears by your very favorite Vol Fan TGC.

There are all kinds of goodies in here.  Among other things, bagging on BCG’s thirst, JC’s speed, Cameron Mills choco-habits, and Saul Smith’s life.  Enjoy.

[Kentucky Sports Radio]

This Week’s T’d Up: Blake Mitchell, less TD’s, more ZZZ’s

August 24, 2007

T’d Up is a weekly column that runs on Fridays selecting, in our humblest of opinions, the biggest sports Tool of the Week.  

In the spirit of APIAS’ SEC week, I was able to run across a fascinating story of the king of double-standard-for-star-player punishment, Steve Spurrier, suspending his starting quarterback for the first two practices and the opening game (against national power Lousiana-Lafayette) for sleeping through summer school.

mitchellspurrier.jpgSteve Fink, a spokesman for the athletic department, said Thursday that Mitchell, tailback Bobby Wallace and cornerback Chris Hail were suspended for the Gamecocks’ opener Sept. 1 at home.

The three players also were suspended from the team’s first two practices this fall for violating an athletic department policy by missing classes.

Of course, Mitchell is currently appealing the punishment, and if overturned, he’ll be allowed to play by Spurrier.  Which brings up an interesting question.  Who the hell is he appealing to?  Spurrier.  So if Spurrier hears the appeal and grants it, then Spurrier will rescind Spurrier’s earlier punishment.  Makes sense.

More all-phase mediocrity after the jump. (more…)

This Week’s T’d Up: Kevin Randleman, golden belt, golden hair, golden sh…

August 17, 2007

T’d Up is a weekly column that runs on Fridays selecting, in our humblest of opinions, the biggest sports Tool of the Week.  

Far be it from your humble editor to go Johnny-Drama-up a beef with a big dude like this.  But this story caught my eye (tastebuds and nose) so, in spite of the forthcoming possible ass-beatings (or at least mean-spirited emails) I’ll brave the consequences for you fantastic bastards.  I hope you realize what I do for you.


Kevin Randleman, if you don’t know, is a former UFC and Pride fighter.  He’s had a rough go of it the past few years, including one 16 months span that included 11 surgeries for a variety of diseases, infections, and self-imposed physical problems.  More recently, however, Mr. Randleman has been in the news for other reasons.


This Week’s T’d Up: Roger Clemens, just go away already

August 10, 2007

T’d Up is a weekly column that runs on Fridays selecting, in our humblest of opinions, the biggest sports Tool of the Week. 

It’s gonna be a quick one this week… I’m too geeked for the FIRST ROW SEATS at Comerica tomorrow.

Wednesday night, in an unsurprising move, Roger Clemens plunked somebody.  Whoopedeeedooo you might say?  Yes, I might say that too.  But its so damn predictable these days that he has been issued a 5 game suspension.

Didn’t see that coming?  Well you were the only one. (Also, please stop reading our blog.)

Clemens has always been the first to throw at a guy, well at least the first prominent pitcher to plunk a dude regularly.

Maybe this was due, maybe not… but seriously Rog… you just signed up for the team like 11 days ago, is now the time to show your ass and get a suspension (otherwise known as self-created tired-arm days off).  Grow up, act like a man, and be a professional.. Please… at least for your kid’s sake.  (Who’s phenomenal fielding, by the way, has produced a telling 347 errors this year for Class A Lexington.) 

Nice work Rog, at least you saved Texas a shitty 3rd baseman with a recognizable last name.

 Rocket, for perpetually giving hope to all minor league teams that you might just pitch 2 innings for them every next year, for sprouting a son that can’t field a slow-roller, and for chucking a bat at a player more than once, you are hereby:


This Week’s T’d Up: Steven Tischer, wanting your kids to be losers

August 3, 2007

T’d Up is a weekly column that runs on Fridays selecting, in our humblest of opinions, the biggest sports Tool of the Week.

This week, OTB Window baseball hit king Pete Rose was asked to speak at a baseball camp for kids, held at some US Army Recruiting station managed by Staff Sgt. Steven Tischer. Some people understand what you get when you invite PFR into the mix. Some do not.

To Tischer’s, and apparently only Tischer’s, surprise, the man that showed up to speak was none other than Pete F*cking Rose.

“He dropped the F-bomb and the S-bomb. He told them winning is everything and if you get second place you’re just losers.”

No shit Steve? The man who once bowled the catcher in an All Star game showed up and talked about how not winning is losing. This surprises you?

More “Letter-bombs” after the Jump. (more…)

This Week’s T’d Up: Hunter Wendelstedt, getting on TV any way possible

July 27, 2007

T’d Up is a weekly column that runs on Fridays selecting, in our humblest of opinions, the biggest sports Tool of the Week. 

It was a glorious day for baseball in Philadelphia yesterday.  The birds were chirping, the soft toilet paper commercial clouds were rolling by, and newcomer John Lannan would be making his major league debut for the Washington Nationals.


Everything was going great for the Nats, Lannan was pitching a respectable game through 4+ and had even notched a strikeout.  It was the day the kid always dreamt of playing catch in his back yard… That is, of course, until umpire Hunter Wendelstedt could get his fat, greedy, spotlight stealing hands on it.

More LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME after the jump. (more…)

This Week’s T’d Up: Stephon Marbury, just trying to make the pink headlines

July 20, 2007

Former athlete turned discount sneaker salesman, Stephon Marbury, has announced to his wife, mother, “agent” and the NY Post (where he blogs) that, at the end of his current contract, he will travel overseas to play “pro” basketball in Italy.


Not only will Marbury be leaving New York with a $20+ million a year cap void, but the real question is, can he replicate the same kind of 56-108 success without Isiah Thomas?

Italian sports fans, after reading the news in their cute pink sports papers, had this to say:

“Mi Scuzi… Who?”

In Steph’s eyes, he’s just like another recent aging pond-hopper sportsman.

“I’m not just thinking of doing it, I’m going to do it,” Marbury vowed. “My wife loved it there. It’s like a [David] Beckham thing.”

Really, homey?  Let’s take a scientific approach to this topic after the hobbly sore-kneed  jump.             (more…)

This Week’s T’d Up: Sam Hornish Sr. – all liquored up on geritol mojitos

July 13, 2007

Man, oh man. 


Its not too often that you’ll amble by this site and catch IndyCar news, but boy is it a good week for it.  Not the racing of course, because you can see that kind of racing on I-85 in Atlanta most evenings. 

No friends, what I speak of is the post-race incident between Sam Hornish, Jr. and Tony Kanaan.  Now you may remember (all 18 IRL fans) that Mr. Kanaan is not a nube when it comes to post race altercations.  Earlier this year, after being… erm… displeased with having to pit near a woman (gasp!) and the subsequent delay of his exit, he had this to say:

“If I ever pit with her again, I’ll never drive for this team again….EVER!”

There’s also this classic moment with Marco Andretti.


At least Andretti had the common freakin courtesy to bring an umbrella to the fight.

But I’m not here to talk about Kanaan or his temperment today sportsfans racefan (probably has something to do with having to wear a 7-Eleven logo everyday).  I’m here to talk about the lovely lady he is rubberfacing Sam Hornish, Sr. – Father of latest Kanaan-sticuffs participant Sam Hornish, Jr.

More wrinkly aggression after the jump.  (more…)

This Week’s T’d Up: Jose Capellan, because you never forget the first little taste

July 6, 2007

In the interest of full-disclosure,  I am a Tigers fan.  I hate to do it, but it must be done.
Its not everyday you get the opportunity to acquire a world-class crybaby and insert him into a team and bullpen with probably the best team chemistry in the league.  But this week, the Tigs did just that.  Jose Capellan whined and bitched until finally Milwaukee dealt him for an A-ball pitcher.  The Fanhouse describes his last few months with the Brewers.

“He was demoted to AAA after spring training, demanded a trade, walked out on AAA Nashville.”

mmmmfunyuns.jpgDriving back from Chicago on Sunday, I heard caller after caller phone in to wish their farewell good-riddance to Jose.  One Brew-Crew fan had this lovely depiction:

“I would have let him go for a 12 pack of beer and some Funyuns.”

That’s what your career and talent meant to Milwaukee, Jose.  Dried, non-food in a bag available for less than a buck.

Well, all I have to say is don’t screw this up for me. 

Wait, wait wait.  Indians Series. First appearance.  Tuesday night.  Game one.  Extra Innings.  GWHR. YOU cost ME a SWEEP.


There’s still hope homey.  You threw well in the 10th.  Maybe you’re a one-inning guy.  God knows we could use one right now.  But let’s all hope that it works out better than the 1987 John Smoltz for Doyle Alexander experiment.

Jose, for causing the only loss in the would-be sweep of the Indians, for bitching like a baby for his bottle, and for making me gag a little by reminding me about Funyuns, you are hereby:


Now that I got that out, I hope you have a long, productive, friendship-filled career in Detroit. Don’t jack with Jimmy’s smokes.

T’d Up is a weekly column that runs on Fridays selecting, in our humblest of opinions, the biggest sports Tool of the Week.