Archive for the ‘Sore Loserdome’ Category

Duke to UK: Hahahahahaha (with love from TGC)

December 27, 2007

Okay, so I’ve never been the first to kick a man while he’s down–especially my friends–but I found this over at KSR and they seem to have well-enough spirits about it and their current plight… so here we go.

A pretty funny independent music video from a Dukie to Wildcat Nation… filmed right here in Lexington, brought to your eyes and ears by your very favorite Vol Fan TGC.

There are all kinds of goodies in here.  Among other things, bagging on BCG’s thirst, JC’s speed, Cameron Mills choco-habits, and Saul Smith’s life.  Enjoy.

[Kentucky Sports Radio]

Mets Collapse: Blame, blame… Everywhere

October 1, 2007

tomglavine.jpgIt’s Monday night.  The MLB playoffs start tomorrow.  The Padres are playing in Denver against the Rockies, of all teams.  What are the New York Mets doing?  I would guess they’re setting up vacations and tee-times at resorts all over the Caribbean.  Four weeks ago from tomorrow, I went and watched the Mets in Cincinnati.  They won, and scored eleven runs that night.  Sure, it was against the Reds, but with the way they hit that night, I thought there was no better offense in the National League.  The crazy thing is, I still don’t think there is a better offense in the National League.  It’s just a shame that the pitching let them down during the stretch run.  That statement, by no means, takes the offense off the hook, but they were scoring runs in those 11-10 losses to the Nationals in the final week of the season.  Where does the blame go?  Who won’t be back next year, and what new faces should Met fans expect to see?

Lots of questions, a few answers, and an inordinate amount of bitching after the jump.  (more…)

The Eulogy I Deserve To Give

September 27, 2007

With the Yankees’ pounding of the Rays, the deafening silence of closure has set in.  The Tigers’ season is officially over.

I know I’m supposed to be glad that the team fought so hard with injury-riddled lineups, patchwork pitching, and many more Toledo Mudhens than were ever supposed to see the bigs this year.  I know how I’m supposed to feel as the fan who sat through 12 straight losing seasons and 4 fouled up manager hirings, and some of the worst baseball trades of the 90s.  I know how I’m supposed to feel since I sat glued to my screen in Knoxville, TN in September 2003 praying to God, Buddha, Kevin Costner, and Roy Hobbs that we not break that goddamn loss record.  

(more…)

Who voted for these guys anyway?

September 18, 2007

Sometimes I see things in the College Football and think to myself, “Ya know, Orson Swindle would never…”

Let it be known now that I am NOT a Kentucky Football fan.  Nor am I a fan of the color Blue on athletic gear of any kind, however, I am an enormous fan of college athletics, tradition, and the idea of a group of kids fighting all year for their respective institutions of education and fair states and cities, and purity in competition.  That said, I just don’t get this fece sometimes.

fowler_tryingtocount.jpg

I read a great article at FanIQ after week 2 that dissected the AP writers College Football Poll Ballots.  The major point being, hey, if you have a starting point, and you can read a box score, or hell even the line scores of the day, your ranking pretty much will fill itself out.  That point, of course, assumes that basic logic and an understanding of competitive contests and comparative math exists.

Then this week happened.  A scrappy offensive team in the Kentucky Wildcats displayed some strong line-play on boths sides and made just enough defensive stops to squeak out a win over previously #9 ranked Louisville.

The new polls come out and let us all behold the genius of sportswriters (well and Coaches/SID’s) when UK is ranked 3 spots below the Cards.  Yes yes, I see the extenuating factors…. UL was WAY up there, and UK wasn’t ranked.  Folks, this is week 3.  Nobody knows how good other teams are based on so few outings and the large talent discrepancy often seen in early weeks.  All we truly have to go on is overall record (you know, like Wins compared to Losses) and head-to-head matchups (you know, like who actually recently won if two of the teams, you know, like actually played each other in an offical football game).

 Let’s take a look at the analysis after the jump.

(more…)

This Week’s T’d Up: Blake Mitchell, less TD’s, more ZZZ’s

August 24, 2007

T’d Up is a weekly column that runs on Fridays selecting, in our humblest of opinions, the biggest sports Tool of the Week.  

In the spirit of APIAS’ SEC week, I was able to run across a fascinating story of the king of double-standard-for-star-player punishment, Steve Spurrier, suspending his starting quarterback for the first two practices and the opening game (against national power Lousiana-Lafayette) for sleeping through summer school.

mitchellspurrier.jpgSteve Fink, a spokesman for the athletic department, said Thursday that Mitchell, tailback Bobby Wallace and cornerback Chris Hail were suspended for the Gamecocks’ opener Sept. 1 at home.

The three players also were suspended from the team’s first two practices this fall for violating an athletic department policy by missing classes.

Of course, Mitchell is currently appealing the punishment, and if overturned, he’ll be allowed to play by Spurrier.  Which brings up an interesting question.  Who the hell is he appealing to?  Spurrier.  So if Spurrier hears the appeal and grants it, then Spurrier will rescind Spurrier’s earlier punishment.  Makes sense.

More all-phase mediocrity after the jump. (more…)

This Week’s T’d Up: Stephon Marbury, just trying to make the pink headlines

July 20, 2007

Former athlete turned discount sneaker salesman, Stephon Marbury, has announced to his wife, mother, “agent” and the NY Post (where he blogs) that, at the end of his current contract, he will travel overseas to play “pro” basketball in Italy.

awdamn_wheresmytowel.jpg

Not only will Marbury be leaving New York with a $20+ million a year cap void, but the real question is, can he replicate the same kind of 56-108 success without Isiah Thomas?

Italian sports fans, after reading the news in their cute pink sports papers, had this to say:

“Mi Scuzi… Who?”

In Steph’s eyes, he’s just like another recent aging pond-hopper sportsman.

“I’m not just thinking of doing it, I’m going to do it,” Marbury vowed. “My wife loved it there. It’s like a [David] Beckham thing.”

Really, homey?  Let’s take a scientific approach to this topic after the hobbly sore-kneed  jump.             (more…)

Is Anything Truly American Anymore?

July 4, 2007

All that is American is gone.  The baseball All-Star game boasts numerous foreign players including the likes of Ichiro, Soriano and Polanco.  It’s safe to say that baseball has “gone international.”  Hell, the United States can’t even win the World Baseball Championship.  America’s past-time is no longer.

American As Apple Pie

The National Basketball Association is scattered with international players.  A Frenchman was the 2007 NBA finals MVP.  In fact, the “Dream Team” hasn’t won a gold medal since 2000 and didn’t even earn a trip to the championship game in 2004.  For a sport bred in Kansas, USA domination is no more.

Thank God for the true American sport.  Something America can call its own, GLUTTONY at its finest.  Is there anything more American than stuffing as many hot dogs in your mouth as possible in 12 minutes?  Hot Dogs = American, Eating = American, Watching People Eat on National TV = American.   The competition is even held on July 4th, Independence Day for the United States of America.  How much more American could this sport be?

(more…)

Scottie Pippen, Urinals, Disappearing French Fries and The Standing Room Only Ladies

July 2, 2007

Bleachers

Well, everyone we have returned from the Windy City.  Just for our readers let recap the portions of the weekend we can actually remember.

  • The beauty in the Yellow Chevy in Lafayette, IN
  • Cold Beer at Pint, and those girls from the northside. (they talk funny)
  • Loden S. and her Jeep Grand Cherokee
  • Having to piss.
  • The Hideout and its lovely plumbing work.

A little tapy tap

  • Buffalo Wings and Create Your Own Burgers at The Sports Corner and plenty of beers.
  • The lawyer lady and her train riding friends on the patio at Wrigley Field.
  • Old Man River (Usher) who fell asleep standing up.
  • Nate/Blake and his 47 high fives.
  • Standing room only girls.
  • The Chief of Section 239.

chiefofsection239.jpg

  • Rally caps.
  • Scottie Pippen and the seventh innning stretch.
  • Having to piss.
  • Deb the mom in seat #100.
  • Plumbers ass crack on the patio.
  • $25 of Pizza by the slice. (okay just give us the rest of that one and most of that one)
  • Post game beers and shots at The Piano Man.
  • Jodie and her shots of Tequila.
  • Having to piss.
  • Waffle House OR Waffle & Steak??
  • The disappearing french fries.
  • Hangovers.

Thanks to everyone we met up with in Chicago, the cops along the way, the weathermen, and Anheuser-Busch.  We had a blast and look forward to our next trip north.

Countdown To 132

June 24, 2007

justAnotherDayAtTheOffice 

Bobby Cox took another step toward history, and the showers, yesterday in the Braves 2-1 loss vs. Detroit.  Cox was ejected for the record-tying 132 time of his career during the game.  We at apias.net love this story and will continue to follow it up until and through that record-breaking ejection.  Of couse, with much more ferver than that other baseball record that’s on the line.

Today in Sore Loserdome

June 14, 2007

Its over. I’m out. I quit. I never wanted to play anyway.  So thanks for nothing, people who left me 5 votes short at the end.  Seriously, thanks for letting me get my hopes up and then failing to show up like some kind of deadbeat dad at that one cookout I was really looking forward to running the goddam three-legged race.  Was it really too much to ask.  Fuckin 6 more votes.  Like 2 minutes out of your day.  Jesus people.  That’s the last time I ask you for anything.  Boo.  I quit.

thumbsdown.jpg

(This rant brought to you by The Matt Leinart Foundation. “We were still the better team.”)

Worst of luck to shirtless ocean guy. *finger*

Note: Thanks to the Ladies… for all the hard work and for having us.  We have learned our lesson and will now stick to tournaments we are good at, like NCAA basketball pools, pickem football, and rec league softball.