Archive for the ‘Sore Loserdome’ Category

TGC’s Opening Day observations

April 7, 2009

After one actual day 0f baseball… TGC observes:

The new mlb.tv is sweet.

CC got pounded.  Heh.

Canadians (ens?) are assholes.  (and in related news…)

No beer  will be sold in Toronto tonight.

The Mets may have just fixed their bullpen.

Ken Griffey Jr likes it in Seattle.

and

The AL Central is up for grabs for at least one more day.

al-central-winless

For Kentucky fans, it’s all about the atmosphere

March 16, 2009

Tomorrow night, Billy Gillispie’s Kentucky Wildcats will be in 2 unfamiliar places.  The first being the National Invitation Tournament (first time since 1979).  The second:  Memorial Coliseum (booted from Rupp Arena for the high school state finals).  Our own 2SL did a good job at explaining how they got to both.

As an outsider, I’d like to take a stab at a year-long observation I’ve made.

Kentucky fans have made the atmosphere stale, unwanted, and embarrassing.  I’m not talking to all of you.  I’m talking  to the loudmouths upstairs at Rupp, the callers-in to radio stations, the sub-par writers that “cover” UK athletics in both mainstream and non-mainstream media.  I’m talking to the jackasses who can’t enjoy a sporting event unless everyone who’s cheering for the other team (and most of his co-fans) are miserable.

It starts with your uninformed and often incoherent logic.  It continues with your insistence that being a UK fan gives you the upper hand in any context, in any discussion. 

If you’ve lost 2 in a row to another team, you’ll rattle off the all-time series record (which is of course in your favor).  If you have a budding rivalry that consistently fills gyms and exhibits great talent and competition, you can’t leave until you mention UK’s national title count.  If you lose in the regular season, you say “wait til the tournament.”  If you lose in the tournament, you tell me how special next year’s team will be.  This goes far beyond a standard “when we lose the refs are against us/our coach is an idiot” fans.  You people have made it so no reputable coach would want to come here.  Why would they?

Tubby left for Minnesota and immediately looked 10 years younger, had  more energy, and oh–one more thing–coached a mediocre team into the NCAA Championships.

You don’t get it.  You’re the problem!  It wasn’t always that way, but it is now.

You Kentucky fans are elitists.  You’ve passed the point of “proud of our history” and have wandered right into the land of Yankeedome.

And as I stand here watching you snobs, I think “With what reason could these people possibly feel above everyone else?!?”  You’re in the middle of the worst 3 year stretch of UK basketball since probation.

Maybe a nice trip back to the roots of the “history and tradition” you so often quote but rarely exemplify will help.  Maybe you’ll walk into the 9,000-seat Memorial and remember that it wasn’t that long ago Coach Rupp himself was walking the floor, taking corn-fed Kentucky boys and beating everybody from New York to LA.

Or maybe not, maybe you’ll pay your $33, walk in and complain about how small the gym is.

Either way, you’ve earned it.  Right?

“… some kind of genius?”

January 29, 2009

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Kiffin Commentary; week four

December 22, 2008

In this installment following the first days of new Volunteer head coach Lane Kiffin, there is plenty of excitement, more commitments… and of course a few more jabs at Ol’ Stevie Carolina.

On the heels of naming Tampa Bay D-Coordinator Monte Kiffin to the same post at UT, many expected that some of the country’s defensive talent would start lining up to play for him.  Few of us thought that would start happening before Pops Kiffin moved to Knoxville.  Well, it has.  Sarasota D-Tacke Arthur Jeffery has committed to UT over South Florida.

It was between USF and Tennessee, but when I heard that Kiffin was going to run the defense it flipped them ahead,” Jeffery told media representatives when announcing his choice. The decision is non-binding, but Jeffery says UT is who he will sign with on Feb. 4.  “It’s solid as a rock… Coach Kiffin was the key for me. There is something he brings to the table that makes his players play better and I want to find out what it is.”

Kiffin wasted little time taking another inside jab at the ol’ ball coach, bringing up (what seemed to me to be unprovoked) Spurrier’s comment on the recruitment test… again… before the UT Hoops game Saturday.  Kiffin mentioned that he’d scored a 39/40 and wondered aloud what Coach Spurrier had scored himself.  Spurrier took the bait yesterday.

“I have always passed it,” the South Carolina coach said Sunday. “I know he’s smarter than me. There’s no question about that. I barely graduated from college. I know I’m not the smartest guy out there. No big deal.”

This is going to get fun!

In that same discussion, he made a few comments regarding returning players that sound on one hand, quite genuine, and on the other, like a national recruiting broadcast for ’09 seniors.

 “We don’t have a depth chart. We don’t know anything about these guys is the way we’re going into it. We’re watching film to evaluate just to understand their athletic ability but not to evaluate them on what they were doing in the scheme. This spring is going to be huge for these guys. They’re going to get a great evaluation period through spring ball and the spring scrimmage. And then after that in the fall we’ve got to push these incoming guys, these great freshmen, right to the front and see who can stay up there and be championship players for us.”

This week in Kiffin Cover 2 watch.  Still not good.  41 points, 370 yards, River was 31-41.  Let’s hope that’s due to his impending departure and not a sign of his impending coaching ability.

Til next week.  Happy Volidays! (boo)

 [TriCitiesSports] [WVLT] [WRCB]

TAGMAT!: Let’s Just Start Making a List

September 11, 2008

TAGMAT (They are giving money away today!) is a weekly column done every week by APIAS.net’s resident gambling addict, Smoothron.  This site in no way advocates gambling, especially excessively.  Smoothron’s degenerate friend, who will refer to as Casino Bobby also gives you his picks for the week.  If we can tell you anything, bet against both of them and you should be able to retire within the first month of the season.

Well, that didn’t take long.  Throughout different gambling seasons, there are times to find a team that is good against the spread, and then there are teams/coaches you cannot bank on under any circumstance.  Last week, we found Gambling Enemy #1, in Sly Croom.  It didn’t take too long after that, to find #2.  My partner in kind-of-crime (depending on where you are), Casino Bobby, and I both absolutely loved West Virginia over East Carolina.  To me, it was the easiest bet of the weekend.  Vegas had overreacted to ECU’s beating of Virginia Tech the week before and West Virginia had the two best players on the field (Pat White and Noel Devine).  I was calling people, proclaiming West Virginia as the lock of the year (Sorry again, TGC, about that $9.86 gone out of your BetUS account).  Bill Stewart is going to run West Virginia into the ground faster than Bob Huggins will run his new Benz into a telephone pole after a long night in Morgantown.  Congratulations, Bill Stewart, you have joined an elite club of terrible football coaches that is sure to gain more members week by week.

It’s a fabulous week for college football.  Two historical top programs play each other when Michigan goes to Notre Dame, Georgia tries to make Spurrier be 0-2 in the SEC (already!!) and two of the best three coaches in the country face off.  Yes, Ohio State is going out to L.A. to play USC.  Not only do these teams both like beating the shit out of Michigan, but they also happen to be ranked in the top 5 in the country right now.  If there’s a big game like that, you can be sure that CB and I are taking opposite sides.  Jump along to win some straight cash, homey.

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Olympic Video Recap: same place I keep the champagne!

August 27, 2008

A look back on the Olympic dominance on the track and in the pool by Usain Bolt and Michael Phelps.

And the commentary gold medal goes to Tennis: “‘One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them… Oh my God, what have I just said?”

See you in London.

FLWP: Celebrating Independence The Right Way

July 3, 2008

fwp.jpgFearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

It’s a perfect storm that happens once or twice a decade.  The 4th of July takes place on a Friday which means a long weekend of debauchery.  This weekend will be extra special for the APIAS crew: TGC will 2-2-2 the Tigers as they attempt to “keep the turtle head poking out,” EDay will make sure none of the Indians he works with read his scathing review of the game of cricket, 2SL will keep making sacrifices to the baseball gods after doing this and I will attempt to get in the triple digits in the category: number of beers drank for weekend.  Add those to BobWicket’s move and TheW’s wild 4th of July bash and there is quite a bit to get done.  There’s also a lot of baseball to be watched, NASCAR night racing, checking up on Brett Favre’s every move and hiding your girlfriend from you-know-who.  Enough with the intro, let’s get to it.  As always, long weekend means long predictions…

  • The Mets will win one, then lose one, then win one, then lose another.  That seems to be the new mantra of the team, “No winning OR losing streaks!”  That’s a perfect way to end up right at .500, where MLB’s third highest payroll is destined.  Nevermind the fact they’re playing the Phillies (Friday-Sunday) and it would be a great time to make up some ground.
  • Brett Favre will keep calling Mike McCarthy.  Seriously, Brett?  You just bawled your eyes out like two months ago at your “retirement” press conference.  At least Jordan took two years off before making his return.  Take a hint.  I’ve never had a wife and kid, but is it really that bad being home with them?  Well, seeing as your wife, Deanna is a smoking hot cougar… Yeah, I’m pissed.  Shut up, stay home, bang your hot wife.
  • Venus Williams is going to win Wimbledon.  But, she’s not hot, so she doesn’t get her picture put up.  Instead of working on tennis, work on being more attractive.
  • Seattle citizens will mourn the loss of the Sonics.  Didn’t they used to be the SuperSonics?  Anyway, at least you’ve got the Mariners!  Er, at least you’ve got the Seahawks. Um… the Storm?  Or do WNBA teams leave with their NBA counterparts?  Who cares?  It’s the WNBA.  The best hope for Seattle is that grunge rock becomes cool again.  The ball is in your court, Soundgarden/Pearl Jam/Nirvana.
  • The Tigers will continue playing good baseball against the Mariners.  The hits just keep on coming, Seattle!  It’s never a good sign when teams and fans look at a weekend trip to your city and think, “I’m damn near certain we win at least two of three.”  Look at the bright side, Mariner fan: At least you didn’t give out ridiculous contracts to bring in busts and trade what little prospects you had for a bust pitcher.  Oh, whoops.  There’s going to be a lot of drinking going on in Seattle this weekend.
  • Dale Earnhardt Jr. will win Saturday night in Daytona.  Yes, I know, this is Dale’s third time being picked the winner of the NASCAR race on FWP.  A dubious honor, indeed.  Dale did actually get a win for the first time in years a few weeks back which made EDay really happy (until someone brought up cricket, apparently).  Honestly though, the guy really doesn’t need to race.  Here is yet another one of his ex-girlfriends, Lauren Anderson.  Simply incredible.  How does he keep letting these women get away?  Also, many NSFW pics available of Lauren (if that’s your thing) on the web.
  • Alex Rodriguez will slump, big time.  This guy is probably the best baseball player in the world, but he’s also very aware of his public image.  All this stuff about him separating from his wife, him banging Madonna, his wife banging Lenny Kravitz; well, that is not going to be good for his batting average.  Madonna’s hot and all, but couldn’t A-Rod find someone hotter if he was going to cheat on his wife?
  • Oakland will take care of the White Sox in Chicago.  This will make this entire staff happy.  When the A’s win, EDay’s happy.  When the White Sox lose, TGC is happy.  When anyone besides he loses, 2SL is happy.  I’m just happy when my friends are happy.  Cue the gay music!
  • Stephen A. Smith will talk about LeBron James.  It goes without merit, anymore.  He just starts screaming about this year’s free agents and somehow still ties it into, “LEBRON JAMES WILL BE A NEW JERSEY NET IN 2010!!!  HIM AND JAY-Z ARE BOYS!!!”  Seriously, we’re two years away from this, but he feels the need to say it everyday.  I would guess LeBron never wears a Net jersey.
  • Hancock will bomb.  Unless it co-stars DJ Jazzy Jeff, I don’t need to see any more Will Smith movies.  Not even Charlize Theron can save this one.  She looks good, though, no?
  • The Cubs will take care of business.  Gosh, I really hope so.  If you’ve ever seen 2SL after they lose a few in a row, you know what I mean.  Think of a four year old who has been awake for too long, has a poopy diaper, is hungry and drunk.  Well, actually, that’s about how he acts all the time.
  • You will hear a soft whisper in the wind.  It will be College Football calling your name.  We are officially under two months until kickoff.  Gambling, beer, gambling and football.  Hurry up, August.
  • Ellis Park WILL have live horse racing.  Apparently my diatribe about the closing has changed some minds.  According the Henderson Gleaner (a top-5 national newspaper, for places named Henderson), live racing still may be salvaged.  I applaud all of you who called President Bush, your Congressman or me.  This is what America is all about!
  • The Golden State Warriors and Los Angeles Clippers will trade injured players.  What’s the deal with this?  Baron Davis and Don Nelson didn’t get along, but why would the Clippers sign him?  A guy who has professed he likes making movies more than basketball?  Oh, and has bum knees?  I guess Shaun Livingston’s injury is worse than they want to let on.  And, Golden State… does Elton Brand really fit into Nellie’s up-and-down system?  6’4″, lumbering post players don’t seem the best fit.
  • Your girlfriend will dress up very patriotic, then Billy Gillispie will sleep with her.  You had to know it was coming, right?  You can’t let your special lady going out on the town looking like this and not expect Lexington’s Most Eligible Bachelor not to snatch her up.  More power to you if he doesn’t, though.  Chances are, though, he will.  It’s at least a good story.  Plus, you probably don’t play basketball at UK, so you won’t have to hear about it every day at practice.  A helpful hint, if you don’t want your girlfriend to sleep with Billy G, DO NOT go to the new Harry’s in Palomar.

Not to get all political or anything, but we live in a pretty fucking awesome country.  Go out and celebrate that fact this LONG weekend.  Say what you will about our President, gas prices or whatever, but a lot of people would kill to be able to live like we do.  Party, drink beer, sit by a pool and watch sports, because that’s what makes America great.

Tigers still finding new, and later, ways to lose

June 4, 2008

In a game that featured 22 walks and 12 pitchers, the Tigs lose again on a last-at-bat walk-em-off hit, this time by Jack Cust.  This time in 11 innings.  And for two happy-ass baseball watchers in the midwest, just prior to 2am Eastern–on a work night.

Despite leaving 52 men on base, including a bases-loaded no-out situation in the 3rd and 6th, the Cats just couldn’t seem to eek one home when it counted.

While I still think Jimmy is on the verge of finding the right recipe with this team, he had at least one thing right last night.

“Sometimes, it almost appears like we’re sitting around, waiting to get beat.”

Yeah, and sometimes you have to buckle down and decide to kick someone’s ass.  For all the fun I have watching A’s and Tigs with ole Eday, I’m getting a little tired of him getting to head to the house a winner every damn night.

One more shot at a win in Oakland happens this afternoon, and I’ll be making a great effort to get home and see the end.  Let’s hope Nate finds something, or that Cabrera wakes up, or both.  I’m sure you’ll get more detail from The Exodus later today, but I’ll sum it up like this:

I’m getting a little sick of this shit.

Awarded no points, mercy on soul, etc.

March 28, 2008

A herladed and unprecedented season came to an uncerimonious end Thursday night in Charlotte.  The scatter-brained point guard play, shitty shot selection, and questionable decision-making all around–including you Bruce–ended up costing the Volunteers perhaps their best shot at the elusive Elite 8.

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Going out with a fizzle was sharp shooter Chris Lofton and former Georgia tranfer Jordan Howell (0 minutes).

I hate that no matter how much time and energy you spend in support and defense of the team your heart has chosen, they continue to let you down when it matters most and make prophets of the blue-clad pompous basketball erudites.

JaJuan, any thoughts on your effort in the last meaningful basketball game you’ll ever play?

“I got two quick fouls, which gave me three fouls. That made me play a little bit back.”

Oh right, probably a good move.  As expected, come October we’ll be hanging another Sweet 16 banner.  Hooray!

At this point only one thing is certain.

It’s football season now.  And you can all kiss my ass.

Okay, so maybe that’s two things.

Kidd: The answer for the clutch-gap?

February 19, 2008

I don’t claim to be a big NBA fan–as a matter of fact, like most fellas I know, I only watch during the playoffs–but when the “who’re your teams” conversation strikes up at the local watering hole, I do offer my list:  Vols, Tigers, Bengals, Mavs. 

 

I became a Mavs fan in 2000 when one Mark Cuban bought the club–his personal self-made-man story is something to be admired, I contend.  I continued to be a fan as they became good.  And I’ve watched every playoff game since, including the disappearing 2-0 lead in the 2006 Finals and the 1st round outing at the hands of the (admittedly fun to watch) Warriors last year.

So yes, over the past week or so as the Jason Kidd trade rumors were being scrolled across the bottom line, my ears perked up.

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