Archive for the ‘Road Trip’ Category

FWP: APIAS Road Trip… world’s fastest half-mile

March 14, 2008

fwp.jpgFearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy. 

Big ups to Smooth for taking the reigns on FWP last week.  Looking back at it, the guy had damn near all of it dead-on.  I might lose my job here if I don’t cowboy up this week (heh).

Yep, you read the headline right… its another weekend of APIAS Road Trip.  You might remember them from Knoxville, Chicago, Detroit, and Daytona.

Ol’ Eday and I will be hitting the road this evening with plans to hit Bristol just in time to catch Cats-Dogs tonight.  Then the tailgate begins.

On to the FWP:

Cats take down Dogs and Dogs. On back to back days, with only 16 hours rest, the Cats scratch both SEC Bulldogs and keep with protocol making it to Sunday.  All while playing only 7 guys.  Ramel plays Sunday’s game toting a respirator.  Joe gets IVs during media timeouts.

TGC and Eday set a record for most brew taken through a BMS gate.  For all you assholes that want to bag NASCAR for being redneck and stupid, I give you these three reasons you’re wrong. 1 – The tailgate lasts two days and trumps anything not called UT Football, 2 – You can take your own cooler full of beer into the race, 3 – YOU CAN TAKE YOUR OWN BEER INTO THE RACE!

Selection Sunday leaves the SEC happy.  Vols get a 1 seed, Cats get a 9, Commodores get a 4, Stansbury gets a 5, 2SL’s brother at Arkansas gets a 6.

Someone named Busch wins the Food City 500.  The other one wrecks out before the halfway point.  Dale Jr finishes the race with roughly 75% of the car he started with… in the top 5.

Billy G will sleep with 7 Delta stewardesses.  So watch out if you’re wearing a pantsuit and hanging out at the CNN center, you might just end up getting G’d before you know what happened.

Brady Quinn goes dancing.  No, not “buys tickets to the NCAA tourney.”  I mean he goes out dancing… again… with dudes.

That’s it for me.  I’m packing the coolers, headset, and Tony Stewart hat and hitting the road to Race-ville.  Til next week, don’t try to buy a sled in Central Kentucky the day after it snows… in 2SL’s own words… The turds will beat you to them.

FWP: See you in Knoxville, I’ll bring the shine

February 29, 2008

fwp.jpgFearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

Yep, this is a pretty big weekend around the APIAS patio.  Kentucky is fighting for their tournament lives while Tennessee is rebounding from a loss hours after being crowned #1.

While it might be easy to suggest that UK has more at stake this weekend, there are some things on the Vols wish list that make Sunday’s affair more than a trap-game.  The Vols are undefeated at home over the past 2 seasons.  They have not won an outright SEC title in nearly 40 years.  The road to an SEC tourney title for a #1 seed fairs much easier than a 2 or 3 (Not to mention that the Vols haven’t been past Friday in 20+ years).

Then there’s the  ol’ NCAA 1-seed, which I’m calling locked up, but some disagree.

Things are picking up in Blogfrica too.  Losers With Socks takes some hilarious digs at Big Blue Nation while Wildcat Blitz is still hanging onto its pedestal (I’m not sure how, though, at 16-10, RPI 65) with an open letter to UT fans (written by a journalism grad from UK, but not in its original crayon, someone must’ve typed it out). 

Also, the Lexington Herald-Leader, for some reason, chose this week to compare Bruce to UK’s good ol’ days of Ricky P’s up-and-down exciting basketball.

UK fans long for their team to again employ the up-tempo, full-court style Rick Pitino used in the 1990s while leading Kentucky to its most successful decade in modern times…  In his three years in Knoxville, Bruce Pearl has produced a near replica of the magical early years of Pitino at UK.

Well boys, I have UT fans telling me its gonna be a romp.  I have UK fans saying the same thing.  I have blogs talking shit.  And I have a car packed up and ready to hit the road to Knoxville.  So get out of my way, time for the FWP:

The weekend revenue for Nixon’s Deli and Petro’s will increase by approximately $20.

Ryan Childress will pick a fight with Ramel Bradley over who’s hand gestures are more awesome.  AJ Stewart will continue to be confused.

JP Prince will have 9 points and 10 turnovers.  Michael Porter will have 19 turnovers.

Billy Gillispie will spend the night at Massey Hall and sleep with the 3rd floor (but not the fat bitchy RA… she only gets a dry hump).

Barry Bonds will drive to Ontario to try out for the Canadian National baseball team, before being informed that Canadiens do not play baseball.  Sits down for french fries and gravy.  Cries.

The Cats will cover. (Update: Patterson has a broken ankle, out for year)

Til next week, keep your hands off my sandwich bitches, I drove a long way for this.

This Week’s T’d Up: Blake Mitchell, less TD’s, more ZZZ’s

August 24, 2007

T’d Up is a weekly column that runs on Fridays selecting, in our humblest of opinions, the biggest sports Tool of the Week.  

In the spirit of APIAS’ SEC week, I was able to run across a fascinating story of the king of double-standard-for-star-player punishment, Steve Spurrier, suspending his starting quarterback for the first two practices and the opening game (against national power Lousiana-Lafayette) for sleeping through summer school.

mitchellspurrier.jpgSteve Fink, a spokesman for the athletic department, said Thursday that Mitchell, tailback Bobby Wallace and cornerback Chris Hail were suspended for the Gamecocks’ opener Sept. 1 at home.

The three players also were suspended from the team’s first two practices this fall for violating an athletic department policy by missing classes.

Of course, Mitchell is currently appealing the punishment, and if overturned, he’ll be allowed to play by Spurrier.  Which brings up an interesting question.  Who the hell is he appealing to?  Spurrier.  So if Spurrier hears the appeal and grants it, then Spurrier will rescind Spurrier’s earlier punishment.  Makes sense.

More all-phase mediocrity after the jump. (more…)

Super Monday Sports Radio 8-13

August 13, 2007

Super MondayWelcome back folks from another humid weekend for another cool-breeze kind of evening filled with sweet frosted brew, cool Kentucky Lemonade, and almost out-of-hand sports banter.  Eday and yours truly have just returned from a journey to Detriot Rock City and boy do we have some stories to tell… er… whats that, E? Don’t tell that one?  Okay… Scratch that folks, no storytelling this eve.

Tonight we’ll be joined by the Lovely Lady Andrea from Ladies… who will discuss the craziest story in recent MLB history, no not that… we’ll be praising Rick Ankiel!

This week’s College Football Preview segment will be the Big XII, while your favorite fight, The Knockaround features this question, “Which happens first… A-Rod passes Barry, or Tiger catches Jack?”

Just click the link below to listen and chat along with the board. 

As always, you may call in at 310-984-7600 with questions, comments or complaints about sports, or the recipe for a good bourbon mixer.

Show ID: 211751

Click here to join the show!

Show starts 9pm Eastern.

APIAS Return From Detroit

August 12, 2007

000_0325.jpgWe traveled over 700 miles just to watch one of our teams lose (uh, mine) and there’s plenty of good stories to tell.  Mainly, thanks to the Milner Hotel, Coach’s Corner, and Greek Town.  All three of these places are highly recommended if you’re going to Detroit for a ball game. 

The Milner was less than two blocks from Comerica so even a drunken hobo could wander his way over there.  Coach’s Corner was a pretty cool bar that we wondered upon Friday night.  Nice place with friendly bartenders.  Greek Town is full of wonderous places like a great Chicago pizza place and a casino.  I’m sure there was more down there but hey, we were only there for two days.

In the end, we’re back and we’re safe.  No muggings, no arrests.  Those are huge on a road trip.  Oh, and no, we did not take advantage of the sweet discount flyers that were placed on TGC’s car in the parking garage.

And We’re Off (DET edition)

August 10, 2007

heshuge.jpgWell folks, it’s come time.  Mr. TGC and eDay are making their way back to Rock City.  It’s been about 10 months since the debacle that was the ALCS (or the glorious times as TGC calls them).  But we’re headin’ back that way.  Amongst the things we may see on our way North:

  • Cincy’s finest…Or as I call it, the hobos under the bridge to Ohio.
  • Roads that are comparable to Mexico (once you cross the DET border).
  • Most importantly, BIG BUTTER JESUS.  This event is enough to warrant a trip by itself.

So if you happen to be in DET this weekend, give us a shout.  We’ll be at Cheli’s on Friday afternoon/night.  Waiting for the after-game crowd to filter in and enjoying Detroit’s finest chili and beverage.

Saturday, we’ll be at Hockey Town from around wake-up (noon?  1pm?) until around 5pm when we’ll tool over to the game.  At the game, look for two 20-somethings with 50-gallon foam cowboy hats (1 Orange! 1 Yellow!).  Can’t be that hard to find.

After the game, who knows?  In their infinite wisdom MLB has moved game time back to 7:05, so by 11 when the game is over we’re liable to end up anywhere. 

Come join us if you can.  If not, we’ll give you the run-down upon return to the APIAS offices.

Editors Note: A multiplicity of High Fives to begin promptly at 10pm on Friday, 11pm on Saturday, pending a Tigers win.  Here’s hoping for a ‘scuse me padnah, i don’t know you’ from Rod Allen.

APIAS Goes to Detroit II

August 6, 2007

You may remember last fall, when three baseball fans with differing views and cheering interests packed in an old Honda Accord and headed north on 75 to the Land of Leyland.

Yes sportsfans, it was APIAS Goes to Detroit, October 2006, ALCS Game 4.

Highlights of that trip included the Friday the 13th Rave going on in our hotel’s grand ballroom, selling the extra ticket in the Hockeytown bathroom, BobWicket Casey Connection friends, PERFECT POUR beers, a walkoff homer, 74,254 TGC high fives, and finally, Eday setting his A’s jersey on fire in the kitchen sink of the Leland Hotel.

Well, the time has come for a return trip. This Saturday August 11, APIAS Goes to Detroit II.

More infighting after the jump. (more…)

Atlanta Braves Start College Bar

July 18, 2007

bravestap.jpgSo you head out to the ball park, shell out $100 on beer and end up getting arrested.  Sounds like a good time to us here at APIAS, but what could be even better?  No, not ending up outside a 6×8 cage.  I’m talking about spending only $60 to get absolutely housed at a ball game.  That’s exactly what the Braves are allowing fans to do now.

This last weekend, the Atlanta Braves started selling $60 tickets that include all the food and beer you can drink [UmpBump]. When you allot for the fact that beers usually cost about eight bucks, geez, folks, we think those seats very well might end up paying for themselves.

Deadspin brought this to our attention, but we’d like to expand on the issue a bit.  We won’t opine on ball park responsibility, but we will talk more about beer after this jump.


Scottie Pippen, Urinals, Disappearing French Fries and The Standing Room Only Ladies

July 2, 2007


Well, everyone we have returned from the Windy City.  Just for our readers let recap the portions of the weekend we can actually remember.

  • The beauty in the Yellow Chevy in Lafayette, IN
  • Cold Beer at Pint, and those girls from the northside. (they talk funny)
  • Loden S. and her Jeep Grand Cherokee
  • Having to piss.
  • The Hideout and its lovely plumbing work.

A little tapy tap

  • Buffalo Wings and Create Your Own Burgers at The Sports Corner and plenty of beers.
  • The lawyer lady and her train riding friends on the patio at Wrigley Field.
  • Old Man River (Usher) who fell asleep standing up.
  • Nate/Blake and his 47 high fives.
  • Standing room only girls.
  • The Chief of Section 239.


  • Rally caps.
  • Scottie Pippen and the seventh innning stretch.
  • Having to piss.
  • Deb the mom in seat #100.
  • Plumbers ass crack on the patio.
  • $25 of Pizza by the slice. (okay just give us the rest of that one and most of that one)
  • Post game beers and shots at The Piano Man.
  • Jodie and her shots of Tequila.
  • Having to piss.
  • Waffle House OR Waffle & Steak??
  • The disappearing french fries.
  • Hangovers.

Thanks to everyone we met up with in Chicago, the cops along the way, the weathermen, and Anheuser-Busch.  We had a blast and look forward to our next trip north.

APIAS to Chicago: The Departure

June 29, 2007


Well folks, we’re on the road.  Let’s hope the cops stay out of the way, the gas is cheap, and the beer is cold in the Windy City.  Stay tuned to APIAS this weekend for updates and pictures.