Archive for the ‘Eggs’ Category

APIAS Pickem Scramble Week 7: Ofer potential

October 10, 2008

Okay okay, I’m back.  Never fear.  I shan’t be leaving my child alone again to go marry off a friend.  We’ve had an interesting couple of weeks, with Holly performing far above her normal picking rate, smoothron having a subpar year against the spread, and eDay continuing his normal straight-up dominance.

If you missed us this week, we got all pseudo-politico on you, previewed this weekend at the fabled Land of Keene, and introduced you to the second rapping member of the 2008 Basketvols.

This week brings us the potential for many many more good football games than we’ve seen perhaps in the prior six weeks combined.  Which also, brings the potential for one of our panel to go ofer (I’m looking at you Bru) for the first time in SPS history.  Fingers crossed.

If you need me on Saturday, I’ll be in one of the following places.  Outside turn 4 tailgating.  Beer line.  Julep line. Burgoo line. TSH betting line. So I’ll meet you BY THE CLOCK!

On to this week’s games.



TAGMAT!: Oh, Hell

October 9, 2008

TAGMAT (They are giving money away today!) is a weekly column done every week by’s resident gambling addict, Smoothron.  This site in no way advocates gambling, especially excessively.  Smoothron’s degenerate friend, who will refer to as Casino Bobby also gives you his picks for the week.  If we can tell you anything, bet against both of them and you should be able to retire within the first month of the season.

Some people would throw in the towel at this point.  A subpar gambling season would cause some to run to the hills exclaiming, “I’m never gambling again!”  That is about the same as the time you were a college freshman and got sick in the dorm and you told your roommate, “I’m never drinking again.”  You serious, Clark?  Everyone knows that you drank the next night and everyone knows you’ll be right back checking the lines the next week.  Don’t get discouraged, find some sort of silver lining.  Isn’t there something to gain from weeks and weeks of picking losers?  Sure there is.

The good thing about this season is that teams have played five or six games.  We are starting to figure teams out, we know who they are.  Some teams aren’t as good as we thought they might be: Clemson, Auburn and Wisconsin.  Others teams ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!: Oklahoma, LSU and Texas.  So, it’s time to quit looking at expectations and now look at what teams are this season.  West Virginia isn’t very good, so don’t bet on them just because they have Pat White and Noel Devine.  Nick Saban IS very good, so don’t bet against them just because they play fifteen (15!) true freshmen.  Figure out who a team is for this year, not what they were or should have been, and then bet on them.  Hey, I tried.

Here goes nothing… or something… but probably nothing. (more…)

Sandwich Pickem Scramble Week 6

October 4, 2008

Hmm.  Well.  Yeah.

(Smooth’s drunken ramble taken down.)


TAGMAT!: Never Make Rash Decisions!

September 18, 2008

TAGMAT (They are giving money away today!) is a weekly column done every week by’s resident gambling addict, Smoothron.  This site in no way advocates gambling, especially excessively.  Smoothron’s degenerate friend, who will refer to as Casino Bobby also gives you his picks for the week.  If we can tell you anything, bet against both of them and you should be able to retire within the first month of the season.

Okay, okay, I know you were expecting to see Jim Tressel’s face in this spot.  Sure, in the past, Sly Croom’s mug appeared.  And last week, Bill Stewart graced us his with presence.  I did lose the OSU game last week, but Tressel is still good and happens to own my favorite football team so I won’t be angering him any more.  Besides, Ohio State will not lose a game for the rest of the season, play in the Rose Bowl and will generally be a good team to bet for the rest of the year.  USC is more the team to worry about, from a gambling perspective.  Did I miss the game last week on them?  Absolutely (although in my defense, I thought C. Wells was going to play).  But, USC always plays well in those types of games.  Their biggest stumbles come against mediocre Pac-10 teams they should beat by 30. 

Does that warrant Pete Carroll a ‘no bet’ picture?  Hell no!  But, bettor beware if you take the Trojans (obligatory joke passed by) for the rest of the year.  That game in the middle of the year against Arizona may look like a lock at 18.5, but that Stanford game looked the same last year.  USC is really good, but every announcer will talk about how no one can beat them, they should be playing in the NFC West and all that shit.  Diatribe over.

It’s a great weekend to be a college football fan!  LSU goes to Auburn to maybe decide in September who wins the SEC West.  UGA is going west of Alabama for the first time since I’ve been alive.  The Gators are on upset alert with a trip to Knoxville.  And, mercifully, the Wolverines are NOT playing so no one has to watch that ‘offense.’  Grab a tv (or 3, like we had at APIAS headquarters last weekend), grab 100 beers and get comfortable.  Saturday could be a LOOOOONG one.  Let’s make some money!  (more…)

APIAS Pickem Scramble Week 3: Woops I drank Smooth’s birthday

September 13, 2008


So this bad boy is going up late, and is being typed at 2:34 a.m. East Coast time on Saturday morning.  Regardless of the fact that we still have yet to see picks from 3 of the players… it’s still Smoothron’s birthday and BobWicket was making it rain in [LOCATION REDACTED].  Honestly, the fact that I can still work the keyborad should garner a standing ovation.

I would however like to apologize to Marikka’s and [FORMER KENTUCKY SHOOTING GUARD REDACTED]’s house for drinking all their beer.

Also Burnsy apparently just told Smooth via facebook chat (yeah… gay!) that all his roommates were trying to bang the same chick.  (While he was facebook chatting) Nice effort B.

Per Eday’s advice, I’ll throw this up on the front page.  Upon reading the email that reminded SPS participants that picks were due in a few hours, I got this back from sell-out and ESPN The Mag writer ERIC!!! ANGEVINE!!! (Extra P to those who knew him before, Yoda to those who discussed the post-Wilco Jay Farrar live on Super Monday.)

 To show you what a nerd I am, I have a to-do list for every day, and one of the items on it is APIAS.

Also, I think Holly’s winning.


2008 Oakland A’s Season Blog, The Exodus (71-74)

September 10, 2008
Getting tired of this guy yet?

It's been a while friends.

Well looky there the A’s are within 4 games!  Of second place in a four team division.  Hmm, not so good.  The boys did take two of three from TGC’s Tigers and I feel pretty bad about that this time around.  We’re not going anywhere this year and the Tigs need all the wins they can get right now to make a long-shot run at the post season.  We didn’t do ’em any favors and that’s too bad. 

Usually we try to keep The Exodus upbeat and not dwell on the bad times too much, but today will be a bit different.  Specifically, I’d like to give Huston Street a big Fuck You.  Not a Barry Zitoesque Fuck You (no, we save that only for the biggest pieces of shit), but still, Street can stick it right now as far as I’m concerned. 

For one, the man has stopped doing his job.  That in itself isn’t enough to earn the old Eff call, but what happened in last night’s Tigers-A’s game was.  Street comes in for the eighth inning to try to hold on to a 3-2 lead.  He’s obviously not happy about playing set up man to Ziggy these days but guess what Huston?  You didn’t do your job, so a rookie had to do it for you.

So here he is in a tight game that doesn’t mean anything.  The team is well out of any contention for the playoffs and his performance shows that he wasn’t into the game.  First, he give up a double to Polanco and then his walk of Magglio wasn’t even close.  Not one of those sliders was even worth Maggs looking at.  He gets Cabrera to bounce out and then Geren asks him to walk Sheffield on 4 wide. 

Here’s where things get interesting.  Geren comes out to get Street, deciding to rely on the new closer Ziggy (more on this in a moment).  Street is visibly pissed and a replay of the dugout cam shows him throwing a little tantrum.  Guess what bud, do your damned job and you won’t get pulled.  Better yer, do your job the whole year and Ziggy would have been setting the table for you.  But you didn’t do your job.  Not early in the year, not last night, and likely not much more this year.  Because of that you’re going to be hard to unload too which just makes your performance that much worse.

Getting back to the pitching change, everyone thought Geren was going for the lefty Blevins.  So much so that Blevins made it about 75 feet onto the field before ol’ Bob gave him the Dikembe with the right index finger.  Blevins does a 180 and jogs back to tell Ziggy he’s in the game.  An odd thing to happen and I felt pretty bad for Jerry.  But that was some comedy. 

Anyways, not much else gong on in Oakland except Geren telling Crosby he’s going to see less playing time the rest of the year.  That’s what the expanded rosters are for.  Give the rookie Pennington some time at the big league level, keep Crosby from any stupid, late year injuries, and give Bobby something to think about while you’re at it.  Cliff is a young guy who has just enough skills to challenge Crosby for that position next year and this little sit-the-bench routine may be enough to kick Crosby in the ass.  We’ll see how it turns out.  Until then, enjoy the game, enjoy some brews, and if you know how to convince the Yankees Huston Street hasn’t lost his confidence, e-mail me pronto.

Olympic Video Recap: same place I keep the champagne!

August 27, 2008

A look back on the Olympic dominance on the track and in the pool by Usain Bolt and Michael Phelps.

And the commentary gold medal goes to Tennis: “‘One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them… Oh my God, what have I just said?”

See you in London.

2008 Oakland A’s Season Blog, The Exodus (60-71)

August 26, 2008
Getting tired of this guy yet?

Getting tired of this guy yet?

Somewhere, in some back room of the Oakland A’s clubhouse the following conversation goes on…

Bob Geren (to Curt Young): Curt, what’s our record?

Young: 60 and 71 coach.

Bob: How’d we ever win 71?  Look, it’s a simple game.  You take pitches, you walk a lot, and you get phenomenal pitching out of guys who should be taking Sociology 101 and their second English course.

Okay, so maybe that’s not how it goes on out in the Bay area but the season has been completely swept under the rug by a second half tanking the likes the crew of the Titanic never saw.  There are a few things that have combined to help out this diver toward the cellar (thank Mitch for the Mariners).  To find out what this A’s fan thinks contributed to the delinquency of a major league baseball team, hit the jump.


Thinking Baseball….Pedro Cerrano Style

August 20, 2008

While taking a break from a grueling work afternoon at headquarters I stumbled across a VHS copy of Major League.  Of course I blocked off two hours in the middle of an afternoon on a Wednesday to view this fantastic movie for what is probably the 25th time.

During the final scene while the team is celebrating winning the pennant, when Roger Dorn punches Rick ‘Wild Thing’ Vaughn in the face for banging his wife, then picks him up and hugs him, I thought to myself, “Is there anything that happens in baseball that can’t be described via a Major League quote?”

It is common place at headquarters to hear the following terms… (more…)

My first fan video

July 29, 2008

This was produced by a what seems to be the first pre-pubescent APIAS fan ever… True Story… I’ll let it speak for itself.

Nevermind the inversion, we do love our fans.