Archive for the ‘Dance Pants’ Category

Vols-‘Dores Preview

January 20, 2009

It’s no secret around here that I think Kevin Stallings is a douchebag.  We’ve made it very clear over the years.

It’s also no secret that Memorial Coliseum Gymnasium is a tough, tough place to play, as RTT notes.

But what are we looking at tonight?  An in-progress Tennessee team against a superb defense on the road.  Can Tennessee outscore Vandy, sure.  Will they?  It’ll take some leadership and toughness that they’ve yet to prove they have.

After the jump are  a few keys to the game.

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Breakfast Wagon 26: The Full Monte

December 15, 2008
thefullmonte
Image via EDSBS.com

 Those Houston Cougar Cheerleaders have some talent. [Uncoached]

Completely unrelated to sports whatsoever, but quite hilarious. [Youtube]

The full Monte! Confirmed! [USA Today]

They’ve taken it down, but earlier today Rivals.com reported that Rae Sykes has recommitted to Tennessee after his recent visit.

S2N takes a look at college football’s inconvenient truth. [Signal to Noise]

Basketball fight… in Detroit… Bill Laimbeer… GIRL FIGHT!

July 23, 2008

With all the hoopla surrounding the “brawl” that took place last night in Detroit, I feel it necessary to supply the obligatory commentary.  The Sparks will surely be without Candace Parker for a few games, and some other player probably will get fined or something. 

Which brings up another question: Does it make sense to fine a “professional athlete” if she makes, say, about as much as an architect with 2 years experience?  What point does that prove? — “Please send in your $30 check and written apology to the league office by next Wednesday at 9am.”  — Damn.

At any rate, I wanted to share the theatrics from our vantage point.  From where we were sitting, it looked like the big one, while down early, got the most of the smaller one.

Pay special attention around the 1:14 and 2:38 marks.

Good (?) News out of Cincinnati today

June 3, 2008

Chad Johnson will most likely be back in Cincy for the next round of mini-camp, according to a report on the WWL.  Good news for Bengal fans?

You decide.  Here’s the depiction straight from the horse(racer’s) mouth.

“It’s the reinvention of Ocho Cinco,” he says. “I’m dead serious. People need to take me as I am because I just don’t give a [expletive] anymore. That’s how I’d sum up my attitude for the next season.”

Awesome.

[WWL]

Indy 500 and big fake boobies… at long last they meet!

May 24, 2008

 

There will be 3 women starting in tomorrow’s Indy 500.  Danica Patrick, Sarah Fisher, and Milka Duno.

Safe to say I know several guys who will be pulling for Milka.

Vol Hostesses taking Senior weekend off

November 15, 2007

 strangehappyending.jpg

Hell yeah that’s strange.  These are the kind of things I always thought were just a given.  Poor guys having to hope for a happy ending on Senior Day!?!  No wonder we’re losing games.

Fellas, good luck at Platinum after the game looking for tai…. What?  They tore down Platinum?  Holy shit.  How can a player be expected to run for 220 and punch a teammate in the face later that night with no happy-ending-giving Vol Hostesses and no Platinum?

Well hell.  Now I’m worried about Vandy and the Cats.

TGC’s second-hand interview: Alabama Football

October 18, 2007

This is my second-hand interview with Tennessee’s next opponent, the Crimson Tide, right in the heat of Bama week.  These are actual quotes from Alabama football players and coaches.

gumporsaban.jpg

WR Matt Caddell: The Tennessee game is always a special game. It’s one of the biggest out-of-state rivalries, but in other ways it seems like whenever any other SEC school plays Alabama it’s a rivalry.

TGC: Yes, Matt, I too have difficulty calling this series a rivalry due to the 2-10 record UA sports against the Vols, and the 1-3 record the most recent games in Tuscaloosa. 

MC: It’s such a tradition that it being the third weekend in October it gets the fans riled up, and Alabama fans always want to beat Tennessee and Auburn.

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Oden Out For Season….No More Dancing

September 13, 2007

Greg Oden, the number 1 draft pick in the NBA Draft this year will not be playing for the Portland Trail Blazers this year.  After getting a tonsillectomy this summer Oden was looking forward to working out in Portland this summer before training camp.

“Greg had an arthroscopy and a microfracture surgery today,” team physician Dr. Don Roberts, who preformed the surgery, said in a statement posted on the Trail Blazers’ Web site. “He was found to have articular cartilage damage in his right knee. The area of injury was not large and we were able to treat it with microfracture, which stimulates the growth of cartilage.

What does this mean for Greg Oden?  No basketball for the Trail Blazers this season and no dancing.  Oden was excited to move to the Portland area so he could work out with the team and check out the club/dance scene in Portland.  These things will have to wait for Oden’s recovery from knee surgery.

Yes, you’re right this article is pointless and anything mentioned about dancing is completely made-up.  But we will use the cheapest of excuses to post the following picture….

Greg Oden

Classic Picture, Classic Oden, Classic Dress (kind of) 

So It Begins……

September 1, 2007

It’s 9:37am on a college football Saturday.  So that means…..

  • First Drink in 20 Minutes
  • Smoothron dancing in 4 hours.
  • TGC playing Rocky Top constantly in 7 hours.
  • Eday on the grill in 3 hours.

TailgateThings you will certainly here on the APIAS.net back porch today….

  • “Wow, that guy is athletic.”
  • “Did he just say that? What a fucking idiot.”
  • “Kentucky is going to be really good….I hate life.”
  • “Where is Erin Andrews?”
  • “Holy shit, God bless a fucking merica!”

Stay with us this entire day, we have live coherent blogging until 3 and then drunken ramblings from 3 till close.  It’s football time.

SEC Wins Again – Celebrates – Begins Quest To Repeat

August 21, 2007

The 2008 Princeton Review List of the Top 20 Party Schools in the country is out and surprise, surprise the SEC wins again.  The Southeastern Conference put 6 schools in the Top 20.  List Below.

I love College

1. West Virginia University
2. University of Mississippi    
3. The University of Texas at Austin    
4. University of Florida    
5. University of Georgia
   
6. Penn State–University Park    
7. University of New Hampshire     
8. Indiana University at Bloomington    
9. Ohio University-Athens    
10. University of California-Santa Barbara    
11. Randolph-Macon College     
12. University of Iowa    
13. Louisiana State University     
14. University of Maryland-College Park    
15. University of Tennessee–Knoxville    
16. University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign    
17. Arizona State University at the Tempe Campus    
18. Florida State University    
19. University of Alabama–Tuscaloosa    
20. State University of New York at Albany

Not only does the SEC have 24 Men’s National Championships since 2000 and 44 Women’s National Championships since 2000 they know how to celebrate those Championships.

So congrats to all the SEC schools who made it into the Top 20.  We appreciate you turning a blind eye to underage drinking, girls making out, toga parties, kegs, the green goblin, cold beer, Jim Beam, sneaking flasks into games, tailgating, pimps & ho’s parties, Mad Dog 20/20, Tequila body shots, and waking up in a dorm room with a girl who don’t remember.  I love College.