Archive for the ‘Beliefs’ Category

Regarding the Ridiculous Act of Throwing Oneself to the Ground

February 23, 2009

outthrowFresh cut grass is in the air and players have reported.  It’s damned near baseball season and a fan can’t help but start thinking of late nights on the back porch watching (what will hopefully be) quality baseball being played.  A fan also has to think about all the great plays they’ll see during the season.  A nice 5-4-3 double play to end a rally, a leadoff homerun, or even a well timed sac bunt all make a baseball fan smile and converse with their buddies about the finer merits of the game.

One of the things that has popped up in the recent years that seems a bit of an overkill though is outfielders (mostly centerfielders, it seems) throwing their body flat to the ground as they follow through on a throw to the plate.  What are the reasons for this play?  Maybe one guy did it and everyone else just started doing it.  Kind of like Dale Jr. in NASCAR when everyone’s trying to rub debris off their tires before a restart.  At least that’s what I’d like to think is happening.

What is probably more likely is that players are trying to “save their arm” or not injure their lower body after a throw.  The thought would be that they don’t have to violently stop their throwing arm after the motion or that they might be able to get just a little extra behind that throw to home.  But do they really need that little extra?  Let’s take a look after the jump.

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Lloyd Blows McMahon

January 6, 2009

FWP: It’s Festivus Time in the City

December 19, 2008

Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

It’s a beautiful night at the APIAS.net headquarters.  From the lineage of Frank Costanza, we will celebrate Festivus tonight and it is guaranteed to be glorious.  Put all of us (minus Bru) in a room with some ladies and our friends and 300 beers… what could go wrong?  But, that isn’t to say that the sports world can be forgotten while we air our grievances (“I got a lot of problems with you people!”) and display feats of strength (“Festivus is not over until somebody pins me!”).  If you don’t know the story of Festivus, I have a few suggestions: 1) Watch Seinfeld, it’s a really good show. 2) Watch the video below, it’s worth your time.

 I, for one, will be keeping an eye on the TV tonight during the holiday with two great NBA games on.  If you haven’t heard yet, the NBA is back.  Remember when you were a kid and loved watching Jordan, Barkley and (young) Shaq?  Yeah, tune in and watch Kobe, LeBron, Dwight Howard and Steve Blake.  Okay, maybe not the last guy, but the NBA has become very watch-able again, so quit being the “It’s-not-good-basketball” guy.  Along with NBA, there is a full slate of college hoops, a bunch of huge NFL games, one hilarious name and a bad prediction on a terrible television show.  On to the prognosticating…

  • Seven year-olds all over the state of Kentucky will laugh and laugh during the UK game.  I’ve got this sort-of nephew.  You know, when your friends have kids and you become a sort-of uncle to them?  Well, Zeke is the man and is seven.  He also thinks words like ‘butt’ are really funny.  He’s in luck tomorrow as Appy State brings Ike Butts to town as their starting center.  Seriously, though, Butts… that’s funny.
  • barryoStrangely, no one will talk about this picture.  Barack Obama… smoking a fatty… in a picture… in TIME Magazine… and this isn’t a national news story??  I hate getting political on our kind of sports blog, but seriously?  If there were a picture of George W. in the same room as a joint, it would be on the cover of every newspaper in the country.  This must be the first step to “change.”
  • Eric Devendorf will have some time to hang out, if you’re interested.  TGC’s Big East Player of the Year pick has been suspended indefinitely by Syracuse.  I, for one, am not shocked.  How the hell was he kicked out of school and still playing anyway?  Oh well, enjoy the time off.  Maybe he can start calling some teams in Austria… they don’t care if you beat your wife in Austria, right?
  • The Titans and Panthers will win their respective conferences.  Have we not learned yet?  Talk about how bad a team has gotten or how they’ve peaked and they will inexplicably play well.  Well, that means the Titans are about to beat the Steelers by twenty.  Also, the Giants are done (yes, I see the irony).  They may be playing without their two best offensive players against the hottest team in the NFL and they teetering on the edge of becoming UK 2001-02 (Team Turmoil).  By the way, Roger Goodell, in every way possible, will NEVER let a Tennessee/Carolina Super Bowl happen.
  • College football will return!  Who cares if it’s Wake and Navy playing for the second time this year?  College football is back, baby! 
  • erinandrewspinkErin Andrews will be working.  She was supposed to be my date for tonight’s festivities, but, sadly, she’s working.  Can you believe she would be working an NHL game on a Friday night?  I didn’t think so either.  But, apparently, she was desperately needed at the last minute and couldn’t make it.  Crazy, especially since ESPN doesn’t show the NHL anymore.  Oh well, my girlfriend is still so hot.
  • Mark Teixeira will sign with the Red Sox.  I love how John Henry came out and said the BoSox were out of the Mark T. stakes.  Who couldn’t see that as a ploy?  “No, Mark, sorry, we just can’t afford you.  Have fun playing for the NATIONALS for the next decade, though!”  Sure, he’s from there, but who wants to live in DC?  There are like four homeless people for people with homes.
  • Vol fans will have a great weekend.  First, they’re probably going to get another football commitment before the basketball game tomorrow.  Then, they’ll beat the crap out of Belmont.  Then, get another 4-star recruit.  Lane Kiffin was a terrible hire, wasn’t he John Clay?  Oh, no, you’re just a terrible writer.  Glad we got that settled.
  • The Celtics will win and win… and if they played again, they would probably win that one too.  Seriously, Rondo is really really good.  Supposedly, the talk in Boston is if Rondo is better than Ray Allen.  Who cares, they’re all good.  And to think, they have one of the five worst coaches in the league, imagine what they would do with someone like…. me at the helm.
  • You better hope this isn't your girl.
    You better hope this isn’t your girl.

    Billy Gillispie will dodge the App State bullet, then sleep with your girlfriend.

      Yes, I’m well aware.  My two favorite teams in the whole world are Kentucky Basketball and Michigan Football.  The parallels between the two programs right now are eerily similar, but that’s for another day.  Everyone knows what happened last football season in the Big House and it just won’t happen tomorrow.  The biggest laugh the Mountaineer crowd will enjoy will be when “Butts” is said during the starting line-ups (and that’s because everyone who goes to ASU is a pothead).  UK should win easily and coast into their showdown with their Jan. 4th meeting with Earl Clark, I mean Louisville.  Also, if you live in Louisville, hide your girlfriend… you know who will be lurking in the darkness.

That will do, people.  Have a hell of a weekend, seriously.  We’re going to have the best Festivus any of us could ever dream of.  Next FWP won’t be until after Hanukkah has started, after Christmas has passed and on the day of Kwanzaa, so happy holidays.  Also, one last time, buy your friend/spouse/mistress/lover/aunt/all of the above some TOMS Shoes.  Every pair that you buy means a kid in Africa gets a pair of shoes they desperately need!  Hell of a cause, really.  Be safe, drink a beer and HAPPY FESTIVUS!

FWP: Where the Hell Did College Football Go?

December 12, 2008

Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

Well, FWP has returned after last week’s Season 2 debut (or something like that).  Perhaps I was a little rusty and didn’t get everything just right as I might have liked.  But, I kind of think it’s like sex.  Wait, no, that’s not it.  I don’t know what sex is like anymore.  Let’s just say there has been a drought of Biblical proportions, because I haven’t known a female in the Biblical sense in a long, long time (pretty sure my eternal fate is set after that last sentence).  Nonetheless, it wasn’t all bad.  Florida covered against ‘Bama, Pittsburgh took care of Dallas and Billy G double-dipped (and I don’t mean basketball games).  There is one thing missing from this weekend and if you can’t guess, it’s in the title.  No college football!  Okay, there are D3 playoffs or something, but I have a life and won’t be watching those.  For the first time since the end of August, we won’t be able to wake up to Corso, Herbie and Fowler.  There won’t be any, “I’m not going to work ever again if I hit this!” parlays.  And sadly, you have to find another reason to justify that first beer at 10:27AM.  Alas, there are plenty things to fill your weekend: NBA games, MLB signings, college hoops and putting off Christmas shopping.  Plus, you get to hear twelve straight hours of Heisman speculation on Saturday instead of getting to watch actual games… sweet!  On with the prognosticating:

  • Cole Hamels will hide in his house.  What a dumbass.  Is he trying to become more hated in New York than John Rocker?  In an interview with an NY radio station, he called the Mets “choke artists.”  Good call, Cole.  People’s lives in New York aren’t screwed up enough, and now you want to piss them off even more?  Whatever, you dug your own grave.  (Note: yes, this pisses me off even more because, sadly, it’s true.)
  • abbymcgrewThe Cowboys will eke by the Giants in the “Drama Bowl.”  Hey, guys, want some off-field shit to stir up your teams’ playoff chances?  TO is essentially calling Romo and Witten gay.  Brandon Jacobs isn’t playing.  Plaxico is still being Plaxico.  Wade Phillips is still the world’s highest paid cheerleader (TGC’s joke).  Yeah, give the edge to the home team.  Actually, give the edge to Mrs. Eli Manning, Abby McGrew.  She looks like every other blonde at Ole Miss and I mean nothing bad when I say that.  Hell of a job, Eli, hell of a job.
  • The Celtics will keep winning games.  Do they have a chance at 70 wins?  Sure they do.  They play in a weak conference with only one other legitimate team in it, they have a loaded starting lineup and a decent enough bench and they have a great coach.  WAIT A SECOND… one of those isn’t right.  Doc Rivers still sucks.  Who couldn’t win with Garnett, Pierce, Allen and Rondo?  I took six white kids to the AAU National Tournament this summer and finished in the top 20.  I’d like to see him do that!
  • Manny Ramirez will not retire.  This isn’t even really a prediction, just a stated fact.  Would you rather not take millions of dollars or take millions of dollars?  Yeah, thought so.  Sure, he might have to play for the Nationals, but it’s a ton of cash and money is money.  He should just go play for the Mets.  Please?
  • coltsgfColt McCoy will win the Heisman.  Should he win?  I sure as hell don’t think so, but he probably will.  His stats were insane, he beat Bradford head-to-head and people don’t want to see Tebow win it twice.  He’s also going to come back to Texas for his senior year, which is a huge mistake.  He should go pro as soon as the Fiesta Bowl is over.  The senior class for QBs is terrible and his stock couldn’t ever get higher.  Remember Brian Brohm?  Yeah, first pick to third round.  Also, Colt’s girlfriend is very hot.  (For the record, I DO think Tebow should win.)
  • Will Muschamp will have some questions to answer.  First, he becomes the hottest name in the could-be-next coaching world.  Second, Texas freaks out, gives him a ton of cash to be “Head Coach in Waiting.”  Third, it is reported that he is going to be Auburn’s next head coach.  Very interesting, Senor Muschamp.  I think the whole “Head Coach in Waiting” is a crock of shit anyway, so good for him.  Besides, Auburn just interviewed Buffalo’s head coach for the vacancy.  If you’re a Tiger fan, do you want Texas’ D-coordinator or Buffalo’s (NOT the Bills) head coach?  My point exactly.
  • Jake Peavy may not may not be traded to the Cubs.  He’s going, then the Cubs don’t want him, then he’s going again, then Lou says his rotation is set, then he’s going again, the trade is off, the trade is on, then the Cubs don’t win the World Series for the 101st year in a row.  Oh, the last thing hasn’t happened yet?  Well, it certainly will.
  • Bob will win Survivor: Gabon.  Yes, I know no one in the world watches Survivor anymore.  But, one Thursday night I happened to watch an episode and twelve weeks later, I am really looking forward to the finale Sunday night.  Bob is old, nice and everyone likes him.  He’ll probably win and hopefully they’ll cancel the show, so I can never get sucked in again.  Also, I know it’s bad I watch Survivor, but 2SL watches Chuck, and he is literally the only American I know that watches that shitty show.
  • The hottest girl to ever attend IU.

    The hottest girl to ever attend IU.

    Billy Gillispie will make fun of your warm-up pants, then sleep with your girlfriend.

      Seriously, Indiana?  The warm-up pants still?  Some traditions are great (running through the T, dotting the i, etc.), but this is not one of them.  You look like a bunch of gay candy stripers who are trying to play basketball.  And with this year’s team, let’s emphasize the word ‘try.’  UK needs this one badly as they cannot lose another game at home.  IU doesn’t need this game because they aren’t going to be playing in the NCAA Tournament for about another decade.  Also, everyone’s favorite coach will be prowling the streets of Lexington after the game, so beware!

That’s it, people.  Once again, I’m going to plug TOMS Shoes as what you should be getting people for Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Festivus.  You buy a pair of shoes, a kid in Africa gets a free pair of shoes.  And, as EDay pointed out, they are hippie shoes.  If you haven’t seen Phish in concert, then just buy yourself some nice houseshoes, you’ll feel better about yourself.  This has all the makings of a great weekend, so build a fire to stay warm.  And, if you don’t have a fireplace, drink thirty beers to keep warm.

Pickem Scramble Week 13 – It’s Thankstaking! You’re welcome!

November 21, 2008

 

It is almost that time of year.  And around here, it means that it IS that time of year…

The APIAS.net crew will be celebrating a epic tradition this weekend, Thankstaking.  Starting with Friday night’s Thankstaking feast, which has all the charm of your normal Thanksgiving feast–turkey,  ham, devilled eggs, booze, fistfights, blood, cops–you know, the usual, with one charming exception.

We’re not thankful. You are. 

Today is the day when we reflect on all the good and great things we’ve given the world this year.

Here’s a brief list from your neighborhood cowboy.  More during the official carving of the beast.

Tennessee football, you’re welcome.  You’re welcome for my purchase of ESPN Gameplan to watch 7 (and counting) losses. 

Tigers baseball (and mlb.tv) you’re welcome for the $20 a month eDay and I dropped to watch the Tigs and A’s lose a collective 174 games (and yes, this includes the play-in game).  

Blogfrica, you’re welcome for all the ADD wit and charm we supply you with on a semi-regular basis.   Oh and for the completely and semi-ridiculous live-blogs.

Eday, 2SL, and Smooth, you’re welcome for all my failed attempts to teach you how to use Excel and Paint.  Seriously guys?!? 

SPS Field, you’re welcome for my giving you plenty of time to get your ten (10!) picks and a few witty comments in and for not reaching through the internet’s tubes at you for causing me to have to throw it together late, and without complete graphics, almost every week.  You’re all welcome.

To anyone I’ve forgotten:  You’re welcome.  And do a better job of getting me to notice you next year.

I’m taking this week off from calculating totals and whatnot, but I think E is still rolling the field.  Whatever.

On to this week’s games.  And you’re welcome.

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Fulmer stepping down; the sad part of change

November 3, 2008

Agree or disagree with the move, I think all Tennessee fans can come together on one fact.  Today is a sad day.  Watching Coach Fulmer hold back tears as he talked about family, and relationships, and making young men better, it was made clear that his “stepping down” was not his idea.

Coach Fulmer:

“Our Tennessee family is united in its goals, but divided in the right path to get there.

I love Tennessee too much to let her stay divided.

That is why I accept the university’s decision that this will be my last season as Tennessee’s head football coach.”

He made that clear when he got up after saying his piece and answering 4 questions.  The players in attendance followed suit prior to Ramon Foster (senior OL) and Eric Berry (sophomore DB) taking the stage.

When asked about his future, and the administrative job offered to him this afternoon by Hamilton, he simply responded with, “I’m a coach.”

Foster commented on his thoughts, and applied them to the rest of his teammates, saying that his “body dropped” when he heard the news and called it “not a stand up move by the university.”

As I wrote after the Florida game, I do think it was time for the move.  I hate, however, that it is going down in a less than carried-out-on-shoulders way for a man that has given most of his life for the University of Tennessee, and brought a National Championship (one of only 2) to the Hill.  The way he really and truly deserves, regardless of which corner you were in last week.

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Bama Week: Gameday Montage!

October 25, 2008

Only about 10 hours ’til kickoff.  Which means a quick run out to Keeneland for the first 3 races then back to HQ for official pregame in the Big Orange Chair.

In the meantime, take a jump with me and enjoy this YouTube montage of some of the better Third Saturdays in October.

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Bama Week: Remembering the Queen

October 24, 2008

I’m sure most of you who have SEC loyalties remember Collette Connell.  For those of you who don’t, here’s a nice video montage of the Queen of Alabama Tailgating.  Cheering on her team months before practice even starts.  Molesting the soon to be hired head coach.  Getting arrested.  Oh.. and.. TAILGATING A FUCKING PLANE ARRIVAL!

She’s with you, bammers.

I hate Alabama.

Bama Week: Behind Enemy Lines

October 23, 2008

Even if it did come out of Auburn, still pretty much hits the nail on the head.  A look into the life of your average ‘bama fan.  Even God makes an appearance in the interview.  More installments to come as we get closer to gametime.

I hate Alabama.

UK Football: State of the Fanhood

October 19, 2008
Does not represent Saturday well.

Does not represent Saturday well.

Another week of UK football and things are quite interesting in the Bluegrass.  Hell, things were interesting all over in college football this weekend (least of which about 150 miles South) but that can be discussed in other blogs.  Tonight we need to discuss a little bit of 2008 Kentucky football.  In particular, how does a team that everyone was so big on after a soft 4-0 start decide their team isn’t worth sitting in the cold an extra 20 minutes for?

For those not concerned with UK football or weren’t able to take in any part of the game Saturday (consider this guy very close to the second group) I’ll paint you a picture courtesy of Matt Jones over at KSR.

After looking for 54 minutes like they were not only done in the game, but the season was effectively over, the Cats came storming back, and in front of a crowd 1/3 the size of the beginning of the game, they pulled off one of the most improbable wins that I have ever seen in sports.

The key to this statement is “in front of a crowd 1/3 the size of the beginning.”  I’ve been there.  I’ve seen UK lose a game to Florida that was all but wrapped up.  I even Gator chomped at their student section with a friend after Abney ran back a punt return (later to be called back on a phantom call).  In my short time as a UK football fan (only about 8 years now, basketball for life though) I’ve seen a lot of bad football and a lot of bad situations in Commonwealth.  I don’t recall ever leaving a game when my team was down less than 4 touchdowns though. 

On Saturday night UK fans showed their true colors though.  Even the first couple of years I followed the team and went to every home game, when they were only winning 2 games a year, I went and stayed for the whole show.  Don’t get me wrong, when we were down 20 to Florida and them with the ball with 2 minutes I’d head to the tailgate lot for a night cap.  But Saturday wasn’t that situation.  This was still a winnable game and our fans gave up. 

W and I traded a couple of texts as I wasn’t able to follow the action in Louisville except via updates on ESPN.  He sent me one that said “I never thought I’d wish to have Shane Boyd back at quarterback.”  I sent one that went something like this “unless Cobb’s arm falls off, there’s no reason to have Hartline back at QB.”  Both of those statements are pretty rough on a kid that has only been playing D1 football in the SEC for half a season, but neither was a “give-up” statement.  We both thought Cobb should be a QB and guess what?  Joker and Rich proved us wrong at the end of that game.  But not once in those texts did either of us say “pack the season in, no way we come back in this one.” 

It’s always in the back of your head as a UK fan that your team just isn’t as good as you think, but you don’t ever let on to other teams that you’re giving up on your team, and you don’t ever actually GIVE UP.  Saturday night thousands upon thousands of “Big Blue” fans did just that.  The worst part?  They didn’t just give up in spirit or tell their buddies they were watching the game with that they thought we were done.  Those fans at Commonwealth Saturday told our TEAM that they were giving up.  They might has well marched down on the field and asked for the game to be called.  That’s what moving their asses from their seats and homeward bound said to our team on the field.  And with 5 minutes to play at that.

Again, I’m not free from guilt.  With 5 to go I thought Arkansas had it in the bag.  I was hoping we’d make some plays and get the thing close so the guys would have some amount of momentum going into the Florida game.  But I never quit checking that little ticker on ESPN.  I wouldn’t have left with time on the clock when our boys had a chance.  Every fan that did so on Saturday night needs to take a good look in the mirror when they don the Blue and White for the Georgia and Vandy games.  They need to tell themselves that this team isn’t a top 10 team, but no matter how they play our fans will support them.  If it’s 42-10 with 3 minutes to go and your 10 year old is shivering like he’s got the plague, by all means, pack the family up.  But when this team still has a shot at winning the ball game and they lean on their fans for just a shred of confidence your asses better stay put.  Hopefully this 2008 team won’t have to go through that again, and hopefully the ones in the future won’t be put to that test again.