FWP: Hanging on by a Thread Edition

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Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

Well, last week we looked at the state of Kentucky basketball and posed the question, “What could UK do to surprise you?”  Hmm, losing to LSU wasn’t surprising.  Screwing up a switch/non-switch at the end of the game definitely didn’t surprise anyone either.  Getting absolutely worked over by one of the worst SEC teams this decade, AT HOME, was a bit surprising.  At some point, someone needs to take a rational look at this UK team.  Today isn’t the day to do that, but I’ll get to it at some point.  The bottom line is that this was never a good team from the beginning.  They have an elite player in Patrick Patterson.  They have a streaky scorer in Jodie Meeks.  Besides those two, they have a roster full of good young players and mediocre older players.  What is to be expected from a team that doesn’t have a legitimate third scorer?  Supposedly, this team can still salvage a tournament berth with a win in Gainesville and a couple wins in the SEC Tournament.  Deep down, I hope that happens.  The realist in me (he’s kind of an asshole) doesn’t believe it for a second.  The best thing to hope for now is Patterson and Meeks both return and start all over next year.  Then again, you never know what this team will do.

There are a lot of things going on this weekend.  The World Baseball Classic is in full swing, a certain WR is looking for work and another over-hyped Tobacco Road showdown.  Yep…

  • uncgirlNorth Carolina will drub Duke in Chapel Hill on Sunday.  Tyler Hansbrough is NOT losing on his senior day (a feat Jared Carter couldn’t get done).  Greg Paulus is still playing for Duke, right?  Okay, Ty Lawson will go for 20+.  I really hope Kyle Singler cries at the end.
  • Team USA will get a big win over Canada in the WBC.  While TGC and EDay woke up the other morning at 4AM to watch the China/Japan game, I decided to wait until Saturday to watch live baseball.  While Canada has a better team than you might think, they can’t handle the almighty USA!  Ah yes, American pride will reign once again.
  • The greatest basketball tournament in all the world will continue.  I’m talking about the Kentucky State High School Basketball Tournament.  KY is one of two states left that doesn’t have a class system for its basketball champion.  Every team has one title to play for and it is glorious.  Some may say that smaller schools don’t have a chance, but the majesty outweighs all the criticisms.  The regional tournaments are going on right now; girls’ Sweet 16 is next weekend, guys’ is two weeks.  Stay tuned.
  • Terrell Owens will not have “several” teams interested.  Drew Rosenhaus, TO’s sleazy agent, is claiming that several teams are calling about his most overrated client.  Say what you will about all the other teams in the NFL, but Owens is going to Oakland.  End of story.  The Raiders become more of a joke, we all get to laugh.  Everybody wins.
  • US-CINEMA-FOUR CHRISTMASESKaty Mixon will look sexy on Eastbound & Down.  Rawr!  If you haven’t seen Eastbound, you are really missing out.  Danny McBride plays an out of work pro baseball player (a la John Rocker) who is teaching PE in his hometown.  Katy Mixon plays his ex-girlfriend and she is super hot.  Watch the show.  Don’t lust after my new girlfriend, Katy, though.
  • My second favorite team in the country will beat UConn… again.  LeVance Fields, Sam Young, DeJuan Blair and the boys are prime and ready for a big run, I believe.  Connecticut comes to The Zoo tomorrow after just getting beat by Pitt a few weeks ago.  If you remember, Blair owned Hasheem Thabeet in the first meeting.  Tomorrow’s game should be no different.  Pitt by 12.
  • Brian Williams will get the respect he deserves.  All the guy does is change games and no one seems to care.  I didn’t see UT’s game against South Carolina last night, but all reports indicate that Big Beezy won the game for the Vols.  Also, Bruce Pearl needs to get some button down shirts again.  Lately, his latest attire of choice is a ribbed t-shirt under a sports coat.  That’s just inappropriate, especially with the way that bastard sweats.  The Vols will win on Sunday against ‘Bama… if Pearl starts dressing better.
  • floridagirlBilly Gillispie will come to your college town, lose to your college basketball team, then sleep with your college girlfriend.  Yeah Gainesville!  Florida is a hell of a college, who wouldn’t want to go there?  It’s warm ten months out of the year, they have a premier athletic department and it’s not too far from the beach.  What’s not to love.  Their basketball team isn’t at the level of the 2006 or 2007 teams by any stretch, but they’re still pretty good.  Nick Calathes is the best overall player in the SEC and Chandler Parsons has ridiculous “hops” for a white guy.  They’re also looking for revenge after Jodie Meeks pulled a shot out of his ass to beat them last month.  At the very least, can we hope for an entertaining game and not another snooze-fest like the UK/UGA game the other night?  Florida wins by ten.  UK fans everywhere put on suicide watch. 

That’ll do, people.  Have a hell of a weekend and if you are partying at a cabin all weekend, please don’t call me at 3AM.

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4 Responses to “FWP: Hanging on by a Thread Edition”

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    Thread…gone.

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