Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open. The crystal ball gets cloudy.
Happy New Year, APIAS enthusiasts! 2009 has arrived; and not much has really changed. I usually put some sort of build-up for the week in this spot, but things are going to be just a touch different. I had totally intended to write a “Smoothron’s Top 10 Moments that Had to do With Sports that I was a Part of,” post, but that never happened. And by part of, I mean watched… or saw or… whatever. Well, really quick, here’s a short list:
- USA Basketball Team Gold Medal Game: Bru and I were more excited about this game than anything else that happened all year. I made the trek to NKY so we could watch together. Lots of beers, one hell of a game, some drunken tears shed after the game and seeing the sun rise. One hell of a night.
- First Saturday of Keeneland Spring Meet -> Final Four Games: The whole APIAS crew was around for this one. We had the craziest tailgate of all time, won some cash at the track and later that night there might have been some basketball games on television. TGC, 2SL and I also participated in the greatest session of texting about a girl in the same room ever. 1984 UK Basketball sweatshirt is all I need to say.
- Music City Bowl: Technically, this was the last day of 2007, but it was a LONG day of drinking which led to 2008. APIAS friend, Boski, and I made the trip to Nashville and met up with some people. We got $10 tickets from a homeless couple and never made the 4 mile trek up to our seats. After the game, all my friends bailed on me while I paid $40 to go into a shitty bar. The things I will do for college girls in hot pants… ahh, memories.
- First Saturday of College Football: There was a 9AM breakfast for the ages, which only could have been better if someone had made some damn eggs! There was so much hope back then for all our teams. Maybe RichRod would have Michigan ready. Maybe Crompton was the answer for the Vols. Maybe Mike Hartline could pick up where Woodson left off. No, no and no. Anyways, there was a ton of beer consumed that first Saturday. The kitchen at APIAS headquarters looked like a damn war-zone afterwards.
- BobWicket’s Bachelor Party: There was an NCAA Football 09 tournament, a golf outing, a cornhole tournament and 14 guys in their mid-twenties screaming at the television when Michael Phelps won his eighth (8TH!) gold medal. Add that to the 3,000 beers drank and the “Roast of BobWicket,” and this was an all-time weekend.
Enough of the looking back, it’s the first FWP of 2009! Let’s roll!
USC will deserve to be playing Florida next Thursday.
- The Celtics will make a terrible decision. Boston is supposedly looking into signing Stephon Marbury. How is this possible? Why would they want to do that? This guy has killed every locker room he’s ever been in, and now the best team in the league wants to sign him? He’s going to back up Rajon Rondo… and not bitch about it? Don’t they already have Sam Cassell to bitch about not playing? And, don’t give me the, “Their locker room is too strong to be broken, kind of like the Patriots with Randy Moss,” argument. Doc Rivers couldn’t wash Bill Belichick’s half sweater.
- Mid-major football programs will be humiliated. First, Boise State lost their bid for a perfect run. Now, Alabama will lay the wood to Utah. I watched Utah play a few times this year and they definitely don’t have SEC speed. I expect Julio Jones to not be tackled tonight. Also, I watched Utah only beat Michigan by two points. Michigan wasn’t very good this year, hell, Toledo beat them by more than two. If this game isn’t within 4 TDs, I vote no non-BCS conference team can play in BCS games any longer. Agreed? Thanks.
Derek Lowe will wake up and sign with the Mets.
- All four road teams will not win this weekend in the NFL. First of all, two rookie QBs aren’t winning on the road in the playoffs. So, the Cardinals and Dolphins are winners already. Secondly, Tarvaris Jackson is not winning a playoff game in the NFL no matter where they play it. The Eagles are winners. Lastly, Peyton Manning isn’t losing. You want to know why? Because I took him first overall in my postseason fantasy league. If you know me and my hatred of Manning, this is a big deal. The Colts are winners. Two road teams win, two don’t. Bet on those.
- Tennessee will sneak out of Phog Fieldhouse with a win. It won’t be pretty, but Bruce and the boys will not lay another egg like they did a few weeks ago on a Saturday afternoon on ESPN. Kansas is down, but not terrible and will provide some trouble for UT, but they’ll be tough down the stretch and get a W. Life will be good, and TGC will be drunk. Everybody wins.
Billy Gillispie will beat the Cards, then sleep with your girlfriend.
There you have it. First one of 2009 and it felt a lot like 2008 and 2007. Did we even do this in 2007? Go out and continue celebrating the new year. The Cats play football in about 2.5 hours and I have a half of a keg left to drink. Cheers!