Reviewing last week’s storylines:
Does anyone want to win the ACC? Hell, does anyone want to win a DIVISION in the ACC?
Doesn’t look much like it, but I think I’ll still take UNC and Florida State to meet up in Tampa. Both with 3 conference losses.
Can Michigan hold on to a second half lead?
Yes! And you can go ahead and get used to that. Even with the wrong personnel, RichRod has got it figured out. Bowl invite? No. But they’ll run the table.
Can Coach Cut corral the Cameron Crazies and make a bowl run?
Alliteration aside, nope. Had to have last week’s game. I don’t think a 6-6 Duke team gets an invite even if they do finish with 2 more wins.
Is Brian Kelly ready to step up to the big stage and knock off a hot WFV team?
Absolutely. He’s trying desparately to get his name in the Tennessee discussion by, you know, winning. And honestly, I’m cool with it.
Can Leach keep this crazy Pirate ship afloat?
On to this week’s games. We’ve been spoiled of late with a multitude of sweet-as-sugar college football games. Now it’s back to broccoli and lima beans.
This week’s best from the Aristocracy:
Cincinnati @ Louisville
“Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don’t work, I don’t get in a car, I don’t fucking ride in a car, I don’t pick up the phone, I don’t turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don’t fucking roll!!!” To the Louisville football team, have they played a game on a Saturday this year? – SR
Is anyone else just sick of the Big East by this point? I mean, does one of these teams really deserve to go to a BCS bowl ahead of Texas, Oklahoma or Texas Tech, at least one of whom will be left out? What a great system – Bru
Cincinnati, although it will come down to has the fewest players in jail. -The W
I make this pick so people in the Queen City at least have something to feel good about during baseball free agency. – BW
Duke @ Clemson
“Phone’s ringing, Dude.” For David Cutcliffe; he can keep denying he doesn’t want the UT job, but the boosters are going to keep calling. – SR
Preseason #9 to five losses and counting. To say the least – very impressive – Bru
Please Tigers, please don’t lose to Duke. – BW
Notre Dame @ Navy
It amazes me that we are at the point where this matchup warrants deliberation. -BW
“Nothing is fucked?? Nothing is fucked??” To all of Notre Dame, mainly because EVERYTHING is fucked. – SR
I’m not suggesting Charlie Weis is overrated as a coach. Not at all. After all, he’s only had four years to get his players into the system. And his best year was when he was coaching someone else’s players. But it’s okay Irish fans. Next year will be your year. Ask the Cubs how well that mantra has worked out for them – Bru
Did you guys know Charlie Weis will be calling his own plays? Next thing you know AJ Hawk will be dating Brady Quinn’s sister. -The W
I can tell the difference by the helmets. Navy’s facemask is Navy. Notre Dame’s quarterback is gay. – TGC
Rutgers @ South Florida
“I could be just sitting at home with pee stains on my rug.” For anyone who goes to this game, you really could be just sitting at home with pee stains on your rug. – SR
Terrific – another JV…I mean, Big East matchup – Bru
I know it won’t happen, but the BCS owes us a playoff after subjecting us a full season of shitty ACC, Big East and Big Ten football. Oh wait, that’s every year, isn’t it? -The W
Northwestern @ Michigan
Michigan, as much as I hate to admit it. -The W
No way they can lose at home to Northwestern – right? – Bru
“The Godd**n plane has crashed into the mountain!” For Michigan football, because… well, you know. – SR
In honor of Smooth’s gameday comment making the Laff Riot Top 50, I’ll take the wings. – TGC
Brown @ Dartmouth
Brown? – The W
I mean, they beat Cornell, so they’ve got that going for them. -BW
“Is this your homework, Larry?” Because every student from both of the schools will be doing homework during the game, whether they are in attendance or not. – SR
I pity the man who bets against the…uhh…whatever the hell Dartmouth’s mascot is – Bru
I got you good you fuckers. – TGC
North Carolina @ Maryland
“By the way, do you think that you could give me that $20,000 in cash? My concern is, and I have to, uh, check with my accountant, that this might bump me into a higher, uh, tax…” For Butch Davis, who’s going to definitely be in a new tax bracket whether it be in Chapel Hill or Knoxville. – SR
No Juan Dixon spells trouble for the Terps. Also, their coach is slightly overweight, while UNC’s coach is in much better shape, although on his way out the door soon enough for the Tennessee job – Bru
South Carolina @ Florida
Really? Spurrier will inch closer to suicide after realizing he traded in his palace for an outhouse. -The W
I hate that smug bastard. (Apply to head coach of your choice.) – BW
“Fuck the tournament!” Florida is about to back their way into a national championship game for the 2nd time in three years after a terrible loss, you really think Urban Meyer wants to play a tournament? – SR
Tebow. Harvin. Demps. Murphy. Rainey. Enough said – Bru
California @ Oregon State
Some joke about Beaver -BW
Oregon State. I don’t know which is hairier- the Oregon’s beavers or Cal’s hippies. -The W
“I don’t like your jerk-off name. I don’t like your jerk-off face. I don’t like your jerk-off behavior, and I don’t like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?” For Jeff Tedford, I just don’t like that guy. – SR
Never bet against the Beavers. Plus, Cal is just not very good – Bru
Vanderbilt @ Kentucky
“The man in the black pajamas, Dude. Worthy fuckin’ adversary.” For Vanderbilt, because their all-black uniforms are about the only intimidating thing their football program has ever offered. – SR
So close to Vandy once again missing out on bowl eligibility….I feel like a kid waiting for Christmas to get here! From 5-0 to watching the bowls from home for the 274th consecutive year…priceless – Bru
Does anyone else find it funny that these two programs are on the rise, yet this contest will still decide 5th, maybe 6th, place in the SEC east? -BW
The Duke rule applies to Vandy as well. I don’t pick smart schools in football- The W
Yes, I am going to watch Vandy and Kentucky play football. With Tennessee is in last place. So take that Mike Hamilton. – TGC