Let’s start off this week with a look at last week’s storyline questions.
Q: What will Urban do in response to Celegate?
A: An end-to-end ass-kicking involving two timeouts called in the last 2 minutes, up 40. Point Meyer.
Q: Can Leach finally get over the Texas hump and have a less-than-4-loss season?
A: It looks that way. An ill-advised double-coverage pass to Crabtree after a dropped game-ending pick by the Longhorn D may have solidified the best Mike Leach record ever.
Q: Can Spurrier put the final nail in the coffin?
A: Um. Yes. And then, in a way only he can, somehow drive it deeper, “Congratulate him on hitting that lottery ticket, that’s a big ticket. He got a big one. He got the best deal ever, I think.”
Q: Can Sly Croom’s genius manifest once more?
A: Nope. Even the SCG can’t defeat Randall Cobb. He’s a winner.
This week’s storylines. Does anyone want to win the ACC? Hell, does anyone want to win a DIVISION in the ACC? Can Michigan hold on to a second half lead? Can Coach Cut corral the Cameron Crazies and make a bowl run? Is Brian Kelly ready to step up to the big stage and knock off a hot WFV team? Can Leach keep this crazy Pirate ship afloat?
On to this week’s games!
This week’s best from the Aristocracy:
Georgia Tech @ North Carolina
Hansbrough may be out, but I hear Sean May is suspended from the Bobcats, so maybe he can fill in – Bru
Davis is shocked while thoughts of Rocky Top dance in his head. -BW
Do not underestimate the drive of a coach trying to sneak a raise out of the UT job opening. – SR
Seriously? The Heels at the Dean Dome? With or without Hansbrough….. wait, it’s still football season in North Carolina? -The W
Louisville @ Pittsburgh
Pittsburgh, because Louisville has given Syracuse a reason to celebrate 2! years in a row. -The W
Louisville is paralyzed by Coach W’s butt cut. -BW
I think I speak for everyone here when I say Who Cares? – Bru
Pitt quietly may win the Big East. And yes, that means they will be playing on or after January 1st in a bowl game. I bet you can’t name two players for them either. – SR
Michigan @ Minnesota
Fine. Fuck. – SR
The Wolverines are not walking through that door, Purdue. – SR
I’m sorry. I know it’s a new coach and a new system, but Michigan has enough talent on their roster to at least win 7 games each year. Out of loyalty to Smoothron, I’ll go with the Wolverines here – Bru
Tubby’s Defense will lock the Wolverines down. Wait, it’s still football season in Minnesota? It doesn’t matter, the Wolverines couldn’t score on one of 2SL’s dates. -The W
Purdue @ Michigan State
John L. Smith built a dynasty. -BW
Michigan State. Alright, THIS is the week Javon Ringer’s legs will fall off. -The W
Big 10 football at its best…and by that I mean boring, low-scoring, vanilla offenses – Bru
Alabama @ LSU
You don’t beat Nick Saban in Baton Rouge. -BW
If Saban comes in and wins this game, on top of the two blowout losses Les Miles already has this year…he might be forced to bring back Ryan Perriloux – Bru
North Carolina State @ Duke
I would bet all the money I’ve ever lost that TGC has the pic of Cutcliffe next to this game. – SR
Duke, because the Cutt is clearly smarter than Mike Archer. See ky v. tenn. -BW
Another game I can safely say I care nothing about – Bru
Stanford @ Oregon
Fulton Reid’s slapshot is just too much. – The W
Buzz, your girlfriend… WOOF! – SR
I hate to pick against Jim H. but at least I have Randy Shannon on my side. -BW
I guess there are teams in the Pac 10 besides USC…I just don’t have to watch them – Bru
Cincinnati @ West Virginia
There will be more cops on hand for this one than fans. -The W
Who’s getting excited about that big Pitt/WVU game at the end of the year?!?!? Big East Football… you might as well be playing intramurals! – SR
Good thing the Big East still has an automatic BCS Bowl bid. WVU is surely one of the top 10 teams in the country- right? – Bru
Notre Dame @ Boston College
The ghost of Tim Russert wins this one for the Eagles. With the loss, ND will clinch the ACC Coastal Division, it’s in their BCS contract. – SR
The good news is that after another close loss last week, ND extended Charlie Weis’ contract. He’ll now be there through 2078, making approximately $45 million each year. ND is also only one win away from clinching a BCS Bowl bid – Bru
Oklahoma State @ Texas Tech
Ok. State. Because if Crabtree catches it this time, Mike Gundy will tackle him himself. -The W
I’ll go out on a limb here, because everyone will pick Tech. Look for T Boone Pickens to have a big game here – Bru
What if Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg from ESPN’s Mike and Mike went to watch this game? You know, Mike and Mike going to watch Mike Gundy and Mike Leach coach against one another. That could be pretty funny. Then, after the game, Mike and Mike could host the coaching Mike and Mike. It could be a new show called Mike and Mike and Mike and Mike. Then, to get some more football analysis, they could bring in Mike Ditka. That would be a really good show, Mike and Mike and Mike and Mike and Mike! As a guest, they could have Memphis Grizzlies PG, Mike Conley! Who wouldn’t listen to that show? Mike and Mike and Mike and Mike and Mike and Mike! That’s one hell of a radio show. – SR