Live Blog: This One Matters

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We’ve live blogged nearly everything around here folks.  From baseball games, to NBA drafts, to the All-Star game we’ve done it all.  Well, almost.  Up until now we’ve pretty much given you our live take on things that may not matter all that much.  Who won that All-Star game anyway right? 

Tonight though, we’re bringing the pain.  We’ll be live blogging the Presidential Debate.  No, no we’re not going all CNN or Fox News on you.  This one will have a bit of a twist.  Tonight we’ll be straight live blogging the Presidential Debate as if we were watching a sporting event.  Get ready for shitty puns, hackneyed analysis, and cheers when our team scores.  Basically it’ll be like watching a Notre Dame game on NBC (where the Hell else would you watch ND?).  9:00 draws near friend, stay with us for an hour or two and comment away if you have opinions.

9:01: eDayStat – Thus far I think Brokaw is winning it.  Call me crazy but he’s speaking clearly and with authority.

9:01 TGC – So the first question of the night is on which of the networks to view. Obviously FOX is out of the question… which leaves us with the Eye and the Peacock. Started out on CBS… which was going well until they asked George Stephoanhflus what the room was like prior to the debate. “People are anxiously awaiting the start.” Okay, thanks George. On to the Peacock!

9:08 TGC – Does it look to anyone else like McCain is bracing for a hockey check?

9:10 eDay – So far McCain is mixing it up a bit and hasn’t gone to the ol’ number 1, ‘Maverick.’  Obama is sticking with that filthy changeup by preaching ‘middle class.’  Brokaw just told them both to stop scratching their balls and going to the rosin bag so much.  Speed this shit up gentleman, he seemed to say.

9:19 TGC – Okay Teresa. You had a year to write the question, a week to prepare your delivery, and a lifetime to eradicate that awful Georgia accent. And you punted on first down. Sigh.

9:23 eDay – McCain just got a technical for not getting his team out of the huddle.  I think Brokaw is going to punch him before it’s over.

9:30 eDay – I think if they go over time they automatically lose their mic.  They went over the shot clock, they lose possession.  Just let Brokaw walk right out there, slap ’em in the face, and scream “RAEAEAEAER!”  Real loud just like a shot clock buzzer.

9:33 TGC – Why is McCain wandering around like Troy Aikman after that 7th concussion?

9:38 eDay – Obama stopped just short of calling Brokaw a cocksucker.  That was close.  Would have a been a quick debate.

9:43 eDay – Apparently Brokaw thinks all of section C is full of lepers.

(more debatablogging after the GREEN GREEN YELLOW RED BLINKING RED JUMP!)

9:46 TGC – Most of the time these guys actually act like they like and respect each other… then there’s Brokaw over there acting like a Karl Marxist stoplight store manager.  Communism is bad Tommy.  Get it through your head.  It’s like Peter Jennings is in his head from across the great Canadian divide.

9:54 eDay – Obama looks like Jimy Leyland in the 7th when he’s up by 1 and things are gettin’ tight.  I can see in his head…”Gosh damn I need a Kool.”

10:01 TGC – I’m still waiting for Tommy to throw the mic to Shatner sitting over behind Barack.  I know he’s got a good question about foreign policy… either that or where to get a good deal on a hotel/car rental.

10:11 eDay – New sitcom pilot:  “McCain’s Heroes.”  It’ll have like 17 people who used to be presidents, policy makers, and generals.  Fantastic!  Tuesdays on Fox.

10:12 TGC – He’s already mentioned Reagan and Roosevelt.  Next come John Candy, Brett Favre, Carl Brutananadilewski, Snoopy and Crash Davis.

10:20 TGC – Did he just say he’s surrounding himself with KGB Appalachians?  Hell of an upset if you ask me.

10:25 TGC – How did Terry Shirey get Tina Fey’s Sarah Palin’s glasses?

10:32 eDay – Obama was just asked for an in bounds play and he gave us an entire gameplan, complete with bye week to mull things over.

10:56 TGC – Time for final verdict.  TGC’s Winner?  That one.

Cindy McCain

Cindy McCain

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2 Responses to “Live Blog: This One Matters”

  1. Peace Makers Says:

    McCain has an awful lot of friends, my friends.

  2. Peace Makers Says:

    From section C to Obama: “Yes, are you a terrorist?”

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