Seeking Favor With The Baseball Gods

by

No Zambrano or Soriano and the Cubs have dropped 3 in a row.  The boys from the Northside are 4-6 in their last 10 and have gotten blasted in a few of those outings.  This small spiral comes, of course, immediately following my destiny post.  Needless to say, I feel in debt to the baseball gods.  The Cubs desperately need to get back in the good graces before they get swept by Jermaine Dye and the boys just south of Wrigley Field.  Please consider the following suggestions for Major League Baseball a feeble attempt to curry favor with the baseball gods.

 1. Reinstate Pete Rose

Gambling or not, Pete Rose was baseball.  Number 14 played the game he loved the right way; with passion, intensity and an effort found only in a handful of today’s professionals.  Winning was everything.  Reinstating Pete Rose will not change baseball very much, aside from probably the most watched Hall of Fame induction speech ever and a very emotional ceremony at Great American Ball Park in Cincinnati.

Thoughts of Pete Rose have taken me back to 1990 and the Cincinnati Reds.  A championship team led by Lou Piniella was built on a foundation laid by Pete Rose himself.  Their shocking sweep of the “unbeatable” Oakland Athletics was the last thing Pete Rose gave baseball.

What if the all time hit leader had never been busted for gambling? (Note: I intentionally said “busted” instead of “didn’t gamble” on baseball.)  Baseball would be a completely different sport.  Remember a few weeks ago when Jimmy Rollins got benched for not running out a pop fly? Charlie Manuel waited an inning to bench Rollins.  Insert Pete Rose into that situation and Rollins doesn’t even get back to the dugout before he’s benched.

Could you see Adam Dunn playing left field for Pete Rose?  When Dunn went down swinging or misplayed a ball of the wall in left, I believe the term “Fat, Lazy, F#&%!” would take on a whole new meaning in that dugout.

2, 3 and 4 After The Jump.

2.  Bullpen Cart

Every Major League Baseball team should be required to use a bullpen cart, even at Wrigley Field where the bullpen is only 100 feet away from the pitching mound the bullpen cart is a must.  Check out a brief history of the bullpen cart here.  Players are already lazy enough, might as well bring back the bullpen cart, besides those things are just cool.  Then when the Indians trade all their good players and bring in a bunch of no names, the catcher could use the bullpen cart to chase down the girl he loves. Oh, that’s from a movie, sorry.  I love Major League.

3.  Ax the Designated Hitter.

I hate the designated hitter.  There is little to no managerial work with the DH.  Joe Torre has done more actual managing with the Dodgers this year than he did in ten with the Yankees.  Double switch! What’s a double switch?  The only thing the designated hitter has given baseball is the typical Giambi mustache joke and prolonged careers of guys who should have hung it up years ago.  (Griffey Jr. please take note, you may be the next one to join that list.)  That’s all I have to say about that.

4.  The Cubs Need To Win the World Series

There are numbers that can be thrown around about ratings and a major market team winning the World Series that make it a financial plus for Major League Baseball.  That aside, can you imagine Cubs Nation in October?  Absolutely crazy!  The fellow writers here at APIAS.net would rather enjoy seeing the Cubs win it all just to witness my possible naked antics in the chilly October night.

There you have it, my humble opinion offered up as a sacrifice to the baseball gods. 

 

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7 Responses to “Seeking Favor With The Baseball Gods”

  1. TheW Says:

    Baseball has been just fine for the past 100 years without the Cubs winning, and let’s not jumpstart the Apocalypse any further, please.

  2. eDayStat Says:

    Pete Rose will be reinstated, go to the Hall of Fame to give his speech, take a dump on the podium, and yell “anyone take the odds on THAT!?!”

  3. smoothron Says:

    I want the Cubs to win the World Series about as much as I want to get my prostate checked.

  4. TGC Says:

    Eliminate roster expansion, schedule more doubleheaders, bring all the teams back into the States, bring back the practice of leaving your glove on the field by your position between innings, and perhaps most importantly, bring back the AAWPBL!!

  5. cNicStat Says:

    If this doesn’t work, you’re dead meat.

  6. Wiley B. Channell Says:

    Who has the answer to the question of “When did orgnized professional baseball teams stop leaving their gloves on the playing field between innings?

    Baseball has too many statistics and facts of everything about baseball for this seeming mystery to remain undocumented.

  7. Wiley B. Channell Says:

    1954

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