Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open. The crystal ball gets cloudy.
Wow, what a week! I love the NBA Draft and I highly encourage you to check out the NBA Draft LiveBlog from last night. A few commenters even stopped by and they were fantastic. There was also some interleague baseball that was mildly entertaining, capped off with Shawn Chacon trying to kill his GM. The douche known as Kyle Busch won the NASCAR race out in Sonoma. EURO 2008 raged on to a cast of hundreds in the US. And, as usual, the Mets stink. Summer rolls on this weekend: Mets/Yankees, Cubs/White Sox and that riveting Tigers/Rockies rivalry; the finals of EURO 2008; Joe Crawford moves to LA and you-know-who will be on the prowl. Here we go…
- The Mets will get swept by the Yankees. Well, I really hope this doesn’t happen, but every week I talk about how they’re going to do well, so we’ll see how they do if I say they’re going to do poorly. I have little to say about the Mets until they start playing better.
- Bethanie Mattek will keep on rolling at Wimbledon. I’d never heard of Mattek until about five minutes ago, but by the looks of this picture, I think she’s great. I really could give two shits about tennis, however, when the ladies look like her I can really get into it.
- Joe Crawford will start living the dream. Wow, the guy balls at the pre-draft camps and ends up getting drafted in the second round by the Lakers. Come on, if Sasha Vujacic can play significant minutes for them, surely Joe Joe can make the team.
- Rick Dutrow will have some free time. HA HA HA. I laugh at you, Rick. A mistake apparently caused one of his horses to test positive for a banned steroid? Yeah, because none of his horses ever take steroids? Oh, that’s right… they all do. I’m glad he’s suspended and I’m glad Big Brown isn’t a Triple Crown winner.
- Danillo Galinari will travel around NYC with a bodyguard. Shit, what a way to be welcomed to America! If I were him, I would have played it up; asking the people to boo more. That would have really confused the Knick fans. Either that or I would have held up a homemade poster that read, “AT LEAST I’M NOT BALKMAN!”
- Jimmie Johnson will win this weekend at Loudon. Even if you’re not a big NASCAR fan (and I’m certainly not), it’s easy to tell Jimmie Johnson is a huge tool. He’s just not a guy you’d want to get a beer with, unlike Tony Stewart or Dale Jr. Somehow, some way, he managed to get Chandra to marry him. Chandra is sexy and I really like that cowgirl hat.
- Everyone will keep counting down to college football. Seriously, this is not a good sports weekend. Only about two months left… thank Mitch.
- Billy Gillispie will keep lurking in the weeds, but then sleep with your girlfriend. We haven’t heard a peep from the guy in months! What’s he doing? Well, if you have a significant other in the greater-Lexington area, you may not want to know.
- Fathers in Indianapolis will lock up their daughters. Troy Murphy, Mike Dunleavy and Josh McRoberts are all now Pacers. That is one vanilla team right there. It’s no surprise that their GM is Larry Bird. You know, White Jesus… or something like that.
- Spain will win EURO 2008. I have no clue who’s going to win, but I don’t really like Germany and I found this picture of a sexy Spanish fan.
Gosh, that was brutal. There isn’t a damn thing going on this weekend. Here’s hoping you have a pool to use and cold beers to drink. Enjoy.