Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open. The crystal ball gets cloudy.
Whew, what a month! Keeneland just about ruined us all; either gambling debts or alcohol poisoning. It was a wild meet though, but no one ever seems to be overly disappointed when it’s over. Many often say, “Man, I wish Keeneland was open longer!” No, no, no my friend. If it were open any longer, the majesty (and our kidneys) would be taken away. Moving on… Last week was a little better for my prognosticating. Santana did beat the Phillies, the NBA Playoffs gave us some fabulous games (see: Suns/Spurs Game 1), the NHL Playoffs may or may not still be happening and Billy G definitely railed your girlfriend (sorry). However, UK still has scholarships available and no one was injured during the Blue-White Game. I’m going out on some limbs this week, but I’m going to go ahead and let you know that these things are going to happen! This should be a great weekend: MLB rolls on, NBA Playoffs continue to thrill, NASCAR in Talladega and all the Berman you could ever hope for!
- Manu Ginobili will go left. Is anyone surprised anymore when the Argentine goes to his strong hand when he drives to the basket? No one I watched Game 1 with was, but Raja Bell must have never seen tape of Manu. I say the Suns win two in Phoenix and at least stretch the series to seven.
- Chris Berman will talk incessantly giving NFL Network highest ratings ever. Everything else aside, Berman just sucks. His voice is annoying, he’s not funny or insightful, he’s awful to look at and he talks over people who actually seem to know what they’re talking about. Thankfully, NFL Network broadcasts the same NFL Draft that ESPN does, only no Berman.
- Aaron Heilman will take years off of my life. There’s a good chance, unless you’re a Mets fan, you don’t know who Heilman is. In short, his last two outings he came in during close games (down one run and tied), he then let the games get totally out of hand. Chicago made a 2-1 lead a 6-1 lead (which ended up being an 8-1 rout). Last night, he gave up a grand-slam to (former Red) Felipe Lopez of all people. I’m not sure what’s worse, his terrible pitching or the fact he played at Notre Dame.
- Jimmie Johnson will win at Talladega. JJ is one of the more hated drivers around the APIAS woods and with my recent jinx-ability, I figured I’d go ahead and make sure Jimmie couldn’t win. On the other hand, Jeff Gordon’s wife is smoking hot. And, yes, I absolutely just mentioned that to put this picture up of Mrs. Douche.
- People will keep talking junk to the Kobes and LeBrons and will keep regretting it. DeShawn Stevenson (best known for alleged statutory rape on Draft night ’01) calls out LeBron and the Wizards get annihilated in the first two games. JR Smith decided to trash-talk Kobe during Game 2 of the Nuggets/Lakers series. Smith’s brilliantly timed smack led to Bryant dropping 49 on Denver, another loss for the Nuggets and this gem from Kobe, “You better learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard’s gonna fall out.” Classic! No matter how you feel about Kobe, if you can almost drop a half-dollar and think up something like that… you’re pretty damn good.
- Billy Gillispie will convince you to come to Kentucky, then sleep with your girlfriend. I’m talking to you, Roderick Flemings! Apparently, Roderick is leaning towards being a Wildcat next year. That’s all good and well, but anyone remember a guy who committed to the Cats at the beginning of May last year? His name was Alex Legion. Guess why he left…?
- BobWicket will defy the odds and get inside MSG to see the NFL Draft. A poll on Giants.com said that 18,000 Giant fans were going to the draft. I say our boy Bob will be able to find a way in, no matter how many bandwagon fans put on Eli jerseys and try and get in there.
Only a week till Derby!!!