FWP: Tiger’s Already Won!


fwp.jpgFearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer (or whoever we can get) locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out before the 7-year is open.  The crystal ball gets cloudy.

Hmm, I’m a little scared to try my hand at predicting anything after last week’s debacle.  I guessed wrong on Carolina and UCLA winning, the Mets winning anything, Tony Stewart winning at Texas, a great croquet game and who the Lady Vols would beat in the National Championship.  Luckily, it was a great weekend and we’re almost positive Billy Clyde slept with someone’s girlfriend.  Fortunately, a new weekend is upon us and Keeneland is still running.  Even without college basketball, this shapes up to be quite a weekend in sports.  The Masters is going on all weekend, baseball is in full swing, the NBA’s regular season is winding down and Keeneland has its biggest race all year long.  Hell, I can’t do any worse than I did last week, right?

Tiger Woods will win the Masters.  I know I’m not going out on any limb here, but he’s really amazing.  Instead of talking about whether he’ll win the tournament or not, he gets asked about if he can win the Grand Slam.  This is also in no way to be seen as a reverse jinx on Tiger, because I may have a wager against APIAS.net friend, Brubaker, on if Tiger will win two or more Majors this year.  Definitely not.  Not at all.  It’s in the bag.

Jamie McMurray will win the race in Phoenix Saturday night.  I really just picked this one out of thin-air.  Actually, I looked through the list of qualifiers and found one with a funny sponsor.  Crown Royal sponsors McMurray, which seems like such an odd pair.  Is Crown really a pre-race drink?  How about during the race?  I’ve never been to one so I don’t know, but I’m here to make predictions, remember?

Johan Santana will beat the Brewers.  This guy has been awesome, no matter how the Met bullpen has tried to do the opposite.  He’s pitched fourteen innings this year and only given up three runs.  The Mets finally beat Philly after losing to them nine times in a row, and actually beat them twice.  Here’s hoping they get on the right side of .500 this weekend and don’t look back.

Visionaire will win the Bluegrass Stakes.  Saturday is a huge Derby-prep day.  It will do a lot to set the field for the first weekend in May.  Pyro is the (worthy) even-money favorite, but there is NO money to be made there, so one must find some value.  Visionaire is becoming a trendy pick, but some girl I went to middle school with told me it was a winner. 

Billy Gillispie will sleep with your girlfriend and be tempted to go to Stillwater, OK.  Bill Self is stupid.  He was offered to be paid like he won’t be anywhere else to coach at his alma mater.  Oklahoma State was ready to let him be the coach there and create a legacy.  Oh well, I’m sure someone will say how nice it is that he’s staying and how loyal he is.  Screw that, show me the money!  Anyway, Billy G is said to be another top candidate to be the next coach of the Cowboys.  Hey, it wouldn’t be the first time a UK coach who maybe liked to drink a lot left Lexington for Stillwater.  Yes, I’m talking about you, Eddie Sutton.

Kevin Love and Darren Collison will declare for the NBA Draft.  You know, they reportedly declared and then they reportedly hadn’t declared.  I can’t figure out which is the bigger joke: the fact that these two just won’t admit they’re going to the NBA; or that Darren Collison is actually declaring for the NBA Draft.  Apparently, he didn’t see his performance against Derrick Rose and Memphis.  He was terrible offensively and defensively… and that’s about what basketball is all about.  Love should go, Collison should stay, but just announce it already.

This weekend is going to be awesome.  Bluegrass Stakes day always brings in huge crowds and we’ll certainly be there with the thousands.  Beer will be flowing, horses will be running, cornhole will be played and cougars college co-eds will be in skirts.  It probably doesn’t get much better than this.

4 Responses to “FWP: Tiger’s Already Won!”

  1. TGC Says:

    Apparently Collison did not see Derrick Rose at all

  2. sjdrj Says:

    Oh Dear,
    Yeah, you really don’t know much about racing do you? I’ve been rooting for Jamie McMurray for 4 years… he has won twice. Although, I deeply hope that you are right, because dude SERIOUSLY needs a win. There is a LONG story behind that, and I won’t go into it. I just hope you are right and you should really start watching racing. There is MUCH more to it than a bunch of guys going around in circles. (this coming from one of the 26% of female racing fans)
    BTW, Jim Beam, Bud, Miller, and Jack Daniel’s also sponsor cars! 😉

  3. cNicStat Says:

    headline on CNN.com: “150-pound cougar prowls streets of Chicago”

  4. Coach Designer Handbags Says:

    Coach Designer Handbags…

    I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you….

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