Opening Day Live Blog


Its that time of year folks, and on that special day, you expect nothing less than a diary of the day’s activities.  We’re here to bring it to you.  First pitch in a few.

1:05 TGC – Rod Allen and Mario Impemba about to bring us the starting lineups… padnuh

1:08 TGC – 51 degrees in Detroit, we’ll try to hold off the rain.  Verlander on the mound.  Groundball first base. 1 up 1 down.  Season underway!

1:11 TGC – First groundball to Cabrera.  First error of the year.  Awesome.

1:18 TGC – Your Tigers 2008 Lineup.  Renteria, Polanco, Sheffield, Ordonez, Cabrera, Guillen, Rodriguez, Jones, Inge.

Brandon is starting in CF in place of the injured Granderson (15 day DL)

1:24 2SL – Just walked into our local watering hole, ready for the Cubs to begin defense of their NL Central title.  Big Zambrano gets the opening day nod and is looking for his first opening day win.  Ernie Banks had a statue placed outside of Wrigley Field this morning, can’t wait to see it. Go Cubs!

1:31 TGC – The last drops of the first delicious pitcher of the season have dripped their way into Smoothron’s mug.  Its going to be a good year.  And a good day.  End of 2, Tigers 1, Royals 0.

1:42 TGC – After a 4 pitch walk to 9-hole Inge, Renteria knocks a liner back up the middle for the first RBI of the year.  The count was 2-2-2.  Yes, E, we Two-ed Em Up.

1:58 TGC – Maggs opens up the 3rd with a double in the right center gap, then tries to score on a 2 out single by Cabrera but is gunned down at the plate on a zero-hop laser from Jose Guillen in Right.  A great throw that just did beat the runner.  Tigs still lead 1-0.  On to top 4.

2:04 2SL – The majestic grounds crew at Wrigley Field is pulling the tarp up off the infield as we speak.  Good news for me and bad news for our local watering hole because thats a few more pitchers I would surely have purchased.

2:07 2SL – The opening day line-up is posted and there are no surprises.  Theriot, Soriano, Lee, Ramirez, Fukudome, DeRosa, Soto, Pie, and Zambrano

2:19 TGC – Brandon Inge’s TRADE ME sign grows larger by the at-bat.  He is taking full advantage of the gifted PT today playing in Center with a couple nice putouts and a crucial walk in the second inning.  He roped a double to left-center here in the 4th, moving Pudge to 3rd, who reached on a single.  Back to the top of the order with Renteria (walk) and the bases are loaded for All-Star 2B Placido Polanco.  Tigs could do big damage right here.

2:26 TGC – Plac lines a sharp one to right thats caught by Guillen, no one advances because I think Jimmy learned his lesson trying to run on that dude.  Sheff then turns an 0-2 cound into and RBI walk.  Maggs now up.  2-0 Tigs, 2 out, bases loaded.

2:28 TGC – Flyball.  Caught.

2:29 2SL – Nice catch.  Don’t ever do it again.

2:36 – 2SL The rain delay in Chicago is hopefully about over.  For BobWicket, there is a rain delay in Cincinnati as well but it won’t be long until the Dusty Baker era begins in Cincinnati.  Remember when Dusty Baker was hired by the Cubs from San Fran to be the guy to bring Chicago to the promise land?  Yeah, that worked out well.

2:39 TGC – Cabrera opens the 5th with a bomb to left.  In the words of Rod Allen… “The first of many”  Tigs 3-0, still batting in the inning.

2:41  2SL – Sweet Lou and the 2008 Cubs coming up….

2:42 2SL – Just noticed that Dusty Baker is missing his traditional toothpick.  Maybe he accidentally swallowed it.

2:44 SR – That’s right, folks, your man Smoothron is in the house.  Actually, I’ve been here pounding beers for about two hours, but have been consumed by the NY Times Crossword for the better part of a half-hour.  Anyone who can give some insight to the top 3×4 of the puzzle will  be rewarded accordingly.  Mets start at 4PM!!

2:49 2SL – First pitch at 3pm Brewers at Cubs.  On FSN they are busy introducing every member of the Reds organization.  I love FSN Ohio coverage of the Reds, they are dedicated, airing most every game till about mid-June until the Reds traditionally start to tank then their coverage drops to about 2 games a week.  I actually remember when the Reds were really, really good.  By the way, put Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame.

2:52 TGC – Alex Gordon pissed on a Verlander curveball for a 2-run homer… 3-2 good guys.

2:54 2SL – Alex Gordon is really good, good enough to be playing somewhere else by mid-July.

3:00 2SL – Here we go. Check out WGN or ESPN 2 for the game.

3:04 SR – The Cubs have officially started playing baseball when, my man, 2SL is screaming at the television during non-relevant plays.

3:09 2SL – Maybe if the Mets had found a few more plays down the stretch relevant they would have been in the playoffs.

3:10 2SL – According to Harry Doyle you can tell how the season is going to go by the first at bat of the year.  Routine fly out.

3:11 TGC – Reminiscent of last year, the bullpen has blown a lead.  3-3 1 out, runners on 1st and third.  We are now on our 3rd pitcher of the inning, Bobby Seay.

3:13 SR – Relevance isn’t exactly defined by winning the worst division in baseball, then getting swept by a team that lost in the NLCS.

3:14 TGC – Fourth pitcher of the inning. Aquilino Lopez.  And a nonsense interview with a drunk guy in the left field bleachers.  Detroit baseball.  WHO’S YOUR TIGER!

3:15 2SL – Winning a division is winning a division.  Don’t be fooled by TGC’s comments, he’s so jealous of the drunk guy in the left field bleachers.  He’s reminded last August when he was that guy minus the interview.

3:16 TGC – Liner to left for the lead.  Maybe releasing the only middle reliever with any success in 07, Tim Byrdak, wasn’t the best possible move.  9 more outs for a comeback.

3:18 SR – I really thought Aquilino Lopez was supposed to be the jockey for the horse I’m going to be betting on in the first race at Keeneland on Friday.  That’s right, KEENELAND OPENS FRIDAY!!!

3:20 2SL – I feel like there is something going on this Friday, but I can’t remember what it was.  Anyone know of anything that could be going on this Friday?

3:21 SR – It’s Keeneland, dumbass.  Also, most of us learned in 2nd grade that you capitalize days of the week.

3:21 2SL – Perhaps the best name in the MLB this season will bat for the Chicago Cubs in the bottom of the 2nd.  Fukudome.

3:23 SR – 2SL just said, “Oooh!  Crackers! (rustles around in cracker holder)  Where are the fucking rectangulars?  No one wants a square… Ooh!  Here’s a rectangular!”  I swear on Ramel Bradley’s rap album this happened.

3:25 2SL – What a surprise, Griffey Jr. pulled one down the right field line.

3:28 SR – Griffey pulled one what?  A hamstring?

3:32 2SL – Griffey pulling a hamstring makes BobWicket cringe.  But it’s ok because that doesn’t happen until June.

3:34 SR – Putting 2SL in a live-blog situation where he can’t have an editor is an absolute train-wreck waiting to happen.  This man once had a full-ride to a semi-prominent private college in the South, and trying to teach him the difference between it’s (a contraction) and its (a possessive), is like trying to inform Bill Self how to coach in March.

3:38 2SL – Its a tragedy I know.

3:40 SR – No words for above.  Tigers just tie the game up in the 8th on a Guillen homer.  TGC was not here.  I’d suggest he stay outside for the rest of the game to guarantee a win (He’s not just a little stitious, he’s superstitious).

3:41 TGC – Upon tying the game, the clubhouse runner was tasked with waking up Todd Jones. I do not envy him.

3:42 2SL – He’s then reminded to comb his mustache before heading to the bullpen.

3:43 2SL – Rain delay in Chicago.

3:37 TGC – Todd “The Rollercoaster” Jones is in the game, Top 9, tie game.  Hmm.

3:48 SR – Aaron Harang is opening the season honoring Red legend, Joe Nuxhall, by wearing his jersey in the opener.  He just gave up back-to-back HRs.  Um, Aaron… Joe just called and asked if you would put your own jersey on?

3:52 SR – So, TGC and I are now splitting pitcher #5 of the day.  In related news, I now know why it’s “illegal” to show horse racing at restaurants/bars.

3:54 TGC – The Tigers are also on pitcher #5.  ZIINNG.

3:59 2SL – The rain is still coming down in Chicago but thats ok because the Old Style beer is still flowing.

4:01 TGC – Sheffield takes a 2 out walk (his 4th of the day) and Maggs hits a deep flyball to the first baseman.  Free baseball in Detroit!  I wonder if extra innings beers are free too?

4:04 SR – I really wish the Tigers could win this game soon.  The Mets start in six minutes, and the battle for TV’s at The Winch is getting a little interesting.

4:09 2SL – 2SL is a little sore today from the Saturday backyard basketball outing where he was unguardable and went an incredible 8-0 on the afternoon.  Hopefully the Cubs will enjoy the same fate.

4:14 TGC – Tigers head to the bottom of 10 still tied at 4-4.  Here’s your live-blog pictorial update straight from home-watering-hole headquarters somewhere in the Midwest.


4:17 2SL – The tarp is off the field and we are about to resume playing baseball in Chicago.

4:26 TGC – Brandon Inge just threw the go ahead run out at the plate from center on a rope.  The guy’s got a cannon.  If the other teams are watching this, the guy’ll have a job pretty damn quick.  He can play anywhere.

4:28 2SL – The Cubs will gladly take him to play centerfield.  Would you be interested in a trade for Matt Murton?

4:30 TGC – Royals take the lead on a Texas-leaguer to short center.  The table is set for another Tigers comeback.

4:33 2SL – Back on in Chicago and Sheets strikes out the side.  Ouch.

4:35 TGC – The newly acquired Denny Bautista has hit 99 mph three times in the 11th.  He must be summoning the ghost of Joel Zumaya’s healthy arm.

4:39 2SL- Locked in one hit baseball in Chicago headed into the bottom of the 4th.  On pitcher number 2 and feeling real good about where the night is headed.

4:40 TGC – Clete Thomas, in his first big league AB knocks one off the wall in left center for a double.  Runner on 2nd, nobody out.  Tigers have a shot.  Inge will try to bunt him over, then back to the top of the new Murderer’s Row.

4:42 SR – Santana strikes out his first victim this season.  He’ll do well in the NL.

4:45 TGC – After an Inge sac bunt, Renteria K’s and Placido is robbed by a diving Alex Gordon.  As I mentioned earlier, watch out for those KC Royals, they’ve got potential to be the best team in the history of baseball.  Don’t mind me as I dive back into this pitcher.

4:52 2SL – That will about do it for TGC, a loss to the Royals is just enough to send him off the drinking deep end.  It be will real interesting to see how this night ends up.

4:55 SR – Supposedly, Tony Gwynn Jr. is playing for the Brewers.  It must not be the same Tony Gwynn who played for the Padres who fathered this guy… because the Brewers’ CF is skinny.  And the other guy is fat.

5:00 2SL – Headed to the 6th, TGC has put his laptop up for the evening and we are moving into drunken territory.

5:06 2SL – Prince Fielder just fell down in the box and grounded out to first.  Usually if you fall down in the box it’s a home run or at least a triple.

5:09 SR – That just depends on what kind of criteria you batted with in 7th grade!

5:14 2SL – Got a lot of at bats in the 7th grade.  In fact I won rookie of the year in 7th grade.  Homered twice and led the league in triples.

5:20 SR – Actual conversation that just took place:

SR: Come on, Ryan Church!

TGC: You know what’s funny, he’s actually Jewish, so it should be Ryan Temple.

SR: Wow… Fuck yeah, he just drove in two!

5:23 2SL – Wow!

5:26 SR – Santana strikes out.  Luckily, hitting is NOT what he was brought in to do.

5:36 SR – Things may have gotten a little out of hand for the past 10 minutes.  We’ve apologized and moved on, we hope.  The Mets are winning 6-0, and it’s about to be shots courtesy of this guy.  In other news, the Cubs are yet to score… and they’re playing the Brewers.

5:41 2SL – The Cubs strand two in the bottom of the 7th.  Typical Cubs baseball.

5:42 SR – You’d think with that kind of typical baseball, the Cubs wouldn’t have won a lot in the last 100 years… Oh, wait.

5:45 SR – Some Marlin (names for them are irrelevant until they get traded) just went yard.  Or, as my man 2SL  put it, “Someone just pee-peed on one.”

5:47 2SL – Reds lose the season opener.  Another year another losing season.

5:54 SR – I’ll be real honest with you.  Things may slow down in the live-blog department.  That only means more beer is flowing through our blood, and less baseball is being watched.  It’s for the best we write less, we promise.

6:00 2SL – Kerry Wood opens the year as the Cubs closer, of course his first appearance is in a non-closing situtation.

6:04 SR – Some girls just showed up at the ol’-watering-hole we frequent.  I wish I hadn’t been drinking for six hours, that way I could assure you one of these “larger than life ladies” wouldn’t be in my bed sooner than later.

6:06 2SL – Judging by experience, they will be in Smoothron’s bed.

6:07 SR – Which is more shocking, me hooking up with a cougar?  Or that fuck messing up a possessive?

6:11 2SL – There is nothing shocking about Smoothron hooking up with a cougar, unless he gives her the “shocker.”  Kerry Wood officially sucks.  I hate life, Cubs down 3-0 in the 9th.

6:14 SR – All cougars love, and expect, the shocker!

6:19 SR – As Fukudome steps to the plate in the bottom of the 9th in Wrigley, this poignant conversation takes place:

2SL: In a month and a half, they’ll figure him out and he won’t get hits like this.

TGC: Yeah, but this game won’t last a month and a half.

6:22 2SL – Fukudome just hit a 3 run shot to tie the ball game in the bottom of the 9th.  Welcome to Major League Baseball.

6:41 2SL – Oh yeah, the Cubs bullpen coming thru in grand fashion giving up a run in the top of the 10th.

6:49 2SL – 2 out bottom of the 10th Cubs down 1 and……Game Over.

22 Responses to “Opening Day Live Blog”

  1. BobWicket Says:

    Is Sean Casey playing?

  2. TheGoldfishCowboy Says:

    Welcome back from Martinsville Wicket. How was the race?

  3. 2ndstorylloyd Says:

    i voted for sean casey last year

  4. BobWicket Says:

    Little known fact: The men’s restroom was not equipped with urinals or troughs. Instead, the concrete slab around the perimeter of the wall was depressed and you were to just do your business on the wall (#1 only) and let it run down into a floor drain. This was a classic NASCAR venue. I would have taken a picture, but my Jeff Gordon garb coupled with a camera in the bathroom probably would not have turned out well for me.

    Martinsville was a fun race to watch, especially being a Hendrick Motorsports fan. What was not fun included the 38-40 degree temperature, 50 person line for both hotdogs and restrooms, and 60 minute cold drizzle.

  5. TheGoldfishCowboy Says:

    What was the Official BobWicket Martinsville Dog Count?

  6. BobWicket Says:


  7. smoothron Says:

    If I were a betting man (haha), I’d put the O/U at 3.5 and take the over.

  8. 2ndstorylloyd Says:

    1 dozen

  9. 2ndstorylloyd Says:

    Did Mrs. Bobwicket enjoy her first race experience?

  10. BobWicket Says:

    She did. I think she will go again.

    Believe me, the 50 person line probably skewed the odds on the dog count. I did, however, really only have one.

  11. smoothron Says:


  12. BobWicket Says:


  13. TheGoldfishCowboy Says:


  14. BobWicket Says:

    2SL was unguardable on Saturday because the glove was in Martinsville.

  15. 2ndstorylloyd Says:

    tell “the glove” whenever he is ready he can try where many before him have failed

  16. smoothron Says:

    Much like a few condoms 2SL has worn…

  17. TheGoldfishCowboy Says:

    why were his condoms in Martinsville?

  18. 2ndstorylloyd Says:

    my condoms are well traveled

  19. smoothron Says:

    and unused.

  20. the constant gardener Says:

    My favorite player is fukudome.

    Know what I mean 2SL?

    Where was my valentines card?

  21. 2ndstorylloyd Says:

    i know what you mean, i can’t even read

  22. eDayStat Says:

    Or write.

    TGC, we need to start a petition to get the Royals contracted. Seems like neither the Tigs or the A’s can ever beat them. Wait, we’ve got Sweeney? Score!

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