Everything Will Be Wonderful Now…

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NFL DraftThe NFL Draft is just around the corner and, as usual talks consist of 40 times, arm strength, and vertical jumps.  Perhaps the most entertaining pre-draft talk surronds the Wonderlic Test.  According to the every reliable, always correct Wikipedia.com, “the Wonderlic is a twelve-minute, fifty-question exam to assess aptitude for learning a job and adapting to solve problems for employees.”

The test really made waves when highly touted quarterback, Vince Young scored an incredible 6 out of 50 before being drafted by the Tennessee Titans.  After the score leaked out people really started paying attention to the Wonderlic Test.  Professional football teams use the test as another measuring stick for potential draft picks.  The emphasis for the test is focused on quarterbacks as a reflection of their decision making ability.

Wonderlic scores for the 2008 draft are out.  Find out who scored well, who went Vince Young style and of course, APIAS.net’s opinion….

After the jump….

The greatest surprise on the board for this writer (Tennessee fan) was Jerod Mayo’s whopping 26.  No, that’s not a misprint; a Tennessee linebacker scored a 26.  His 26 was the highest score on the list of potential first and second-round linebackers.  USC’s Keith Rivers brought home a 16 which is low but no where near LSU star linebacker Ali Highsmith.  Highsmith scored a 7.  Not 17 but 7.  Note to self, hire no one with a Communication Studies degree from Louisiana State University.

Highsmith’s 7 was not the lowest score recorded this year.  That honor belongs to Indiana Hoosier cornerback Tracy Porter.  The senior, General Studies major, brought home a well rounded 4.  A 4? I mean seriously, just blindly guessing should get you better than 8% correct.  East Carolina’s Travis Williams also brought home a 4 out of 50.  The defensive back is also a Communications major.  Another Communications major rolls in with a score lower than 10.  Sounds like these guys also need a tutor for TV.  (Refer to Blue Chips for that joke.  Remember Tony #44 is failing TV and needs a tutor…)

We wouldn’t be doing our jobs if we didn’t take a jab at Andre Woodson.  The latest quarterback star at “Back Up Andre WoodsonQuarterback U” scored a 14, the lowest of quarterbacks.  But it’s ok because in class today, this hot girl that sits next to me publicly informed everyone that she, “Oh my God! On spring break I saw Andre Woodson at this, like bar thing, we were at.  We like so took a picture together, then I like showed it to him and like said, that we make a cute couple. Wow he is sooo hot, I would so like date him or whatever.  I wanted to so get with him.”

Woodson the most recent UK quarterback to take the test did not stack up well against former Kentucky signal callers.  Tim Couch brought home a 22 and Jared Lorenzen dropped an incredible 26.  For those of you who attended the University of Kentucky with Lorenzen, you understand how impressive the 26 is. 

Not to be outdone by Woodson, Kentucky wide-receiver Keenan Burton made Kentucky students proud by also recording a 14.  Can you picture one of the quarterback/wide receiver meetings during football season with those 2….yeah, me neither.  All isn’t lost for UK, tight end Jacob Tamme redeemed the squad by pulling down a 34.

Wonderlic Tests by no means determine the intelligence or ability of any of these fine tuned athletes.  But let’s just hope Highsmith and Burton demonstrate great 40 times and Woodson shows some great arm strength because even the term middle-management is a stretch at this point.

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3 Responses to “Everything Will Be Wonderful Now…”

  1. TheGoldfishCowboy Says:

    I think I know that chick

  2. smoothron Says:

    I think I know a guy who’s Jacob Tamme’s sixth cousin or something.

  3. Burnsy Says:

    I’d bone Woodson. Just sayin’.

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