Fearless Weekend Predictions is a weekly column running on Friday afternoons where our resident soothsayer of the week locks down what will transpire in the coming 72 hours. It’s better to get these out now than after the 7-year is open for business. Crystal ball gets cloudy.
Yep, pretty big weekend coming up for yours truly. The Vols are up to their highest ranking ever and what do they get for the effort? A date with undefeated, #1, cross-state rival
Memphis State U-Memphis. The bad blood between Calipari and the Vols goes back a few years, in the transfer of Memphis native, free-throw expert, otherwise selfish player and asshole Scooter McFadgon in 2003.
Vol fan favorite, and recent author, Dane Bradshaw came from Memphis’ White Station High School and dropped a career high 21 on the Tigers 2 years ago. And high-flying Arizona transfer J.P. Prince also hails from Graceland.
The recruiting battles between the Pearl-led Vols and the Tigers have been well documented, as evidenced in Calipari’s recent jab at Bruce:
“They do whatever they can just to get a kid from the city to get their foot in the door. I’m not doing that to kids.” The transfer reference was obviously to Tennessee sophomore guard J.P. Prince…
Yeah, they probably say the same thing about you when you’re hanging out under the Southside L on a Tuesday night in April.
Now onto the FWP.
- Coach Cal’s mob ties will come back to haunt him when Sammy the Snake calls from Chicago for a last-minute ticket and is turned away because he gave the last box to Peyton Manning. Cal will be noticeably absent from the bench, but a finely dressed man with shiny hair and gator-skin loafers will be sitting next to CDR during warmups.
The trend will continue with J.P. Prince notching 29 points, 11 off alley-oop dunks (and yes, one from the 3 point line)
The Drake/Butler game will be the second best game of the day tomorrow. There will, however, be no milkshakes bringing anyone to Hinkle Fieldhouse.
Tonight’s sorority-chick normal Friday night morality battle matches, once again, Liberty vs. Longwood. Best of luck to you, popped-collar-and-croakies in the bathroom line at Two Keys… I’ll take Bud Light and Longwood in a squeaker. (heh)
Billy Gillispie will sleep with one of your girlfriends.
Barry Bonds will remain on the free agent market, after being turned down by the Yomiuri Giants. Bonds then calls Kyle Kendrick selfish. Cries.
The first Oakland Athletic injury report will be released with 4 players on the DL after a week of P&C workouts.
Kenny Wallace will finish the Auto Club 500… okay okay, lets not get crazy here… Kenny Wallace will start the race, blow up, and go back to being a goofy TV personality, interviewing those drivers he was just impeding.
There you have it folks. Good luck out there this weekend, and may all your teams win big… unless of course you’re a Memphis Tiger fan… and let’s be honest, how many of you could there be?