FWP: Volume 1 – Go Fast, Turn Left, Put your shirt back on ma’am


fwp.jpgSo after a year or so of on and off T’d up columns, the novelty had worn a bit and finding worthy targets had become increasingly difficult (read: I got lazy with it). 

However, still needing to fill my column inches on Fridays, we’ll be introducing a new series of Friday Sandwich Love: Fearless Weekend Predictions. 

This weekend kicks off the NASCAR Nextel Sprint Cup season at Daytona with the 50th running of the Great American Race.  The Vols and Cats will be in action on the hardwood.  The NBA is probably playing.  And the Premiership surely has some games.

On with the FWP:

  • Dale Jr will lead nearly half of the laps before being knocked out of the race by Kasey Kahne, who will then attempt to start a new beverage feud (since we all agree Kurt Busch is a tool).  The crowdfeltoncleveland.jpg will collectively ask “what the hell is AMP soda?” and pick a shirtless fight in the turn 4 grandstand.
  • Chris Lofton will set another SEC record by hitting 11 consecutive 3’s at Georgia on Saturday, including 2 from the balcony, and one off Dennis Felton’s forehead.  To which Felton will reply “that’s not the kind of thang I want goin’ on in mah living room” and go back to his sandwich shop.
  • Tottenham will play to a 1-1 draw with Chelsea in the Carling Cup.  Noone outside of Winchell’s on Southland will notice. 
  • The Kentucky Hoops team will break 50.
  • Billy Gillispie will sleep with at least one of your girlfriends.
  • Brian McNamee will inject your wife.


  • OJ will continue to try to find his wife’s killer.

Til next week sportsfans… don’t eat yellow snow.

4 Responses to “FWP: Volume 1 – Go Fast, Turn Left, Put your shirt back on ma’am”

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    As long as Quagmire and Billy G stay away from my girl, it should be a grand weekend.

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