Sunday Assault ReportS: Glenn Rice

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glennrice.jpgIn this additions of SARs, we examine news that W may find quite shocking.  Everyone’s favorite round shooting guard was recently arrested for assault.  Now what could possibly get the big, cuddly Glenn Rice to physically assault someone?  Apparently, Glenn Rice does not like it when you play hide-the-cucumber with his estranged wife.

Alberto Perez was found by Rice “hiding in the closet of his estranged wife.”  Wow.  Just W.O.W.  Rumors are that Rice then immediately went to answer the front door where a white man with a curly ‘fro stated “I’m here for the gang bang.”

 How awesome would it be to be Perez though?  First, you can probably brag that you were sexing Glenn Rice’s wife.  Secondly, when a former NBA superstar assaults you there’s a good change it’ll turn into a large pay day.  I’m actually quite surprised that no one has taken advantage of this. 

That’d be a great way to make a living.  Just go around sleeping with ballplayers’ wives while the player is out of town.  Then, just let them catch you in the act and punch you once.  Bingo!  That’ll be one hundred thousand dollars for physical and emotional damage please.  I tell you, this Perez guy is sittin’ on a gold mine!

Thank to truemors as the only site online that I could find with info on this situation.

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10 Responses to “Sunday Assault ReportS: Glenn Rice”

  1. TheW Says:

    Wow, there are too many jokes that can be told here from the R. Kelly to the Old School, to the differentiating penis sizes that I wouldn’t even know where to begin. And yes, I do find this quite shocking, because not only is GLEN (one N, eDay) Rice perhaps my 3rd favorite NBA player of all time, behind Dominique Wilkins and Jamal Mashburn, but he always seemed like such a nice, quiet guy with a shooting stroke made of gold. (I realize that last part was completely unnecessary and irrelevant in my analysis of his demeanor, but come on, NOBODY aside from maybe Mitch Richmond and Reggie Miller could fill it up like Rice. The cat could BALL!) At least he doesn’t have to worry about messing up that precious shooting hand when he hits the next man his whore-of-a-wife bones.

    P.S. It’s quite touching that eDay remembered my love of Glen Rice. It’s qualities like this that make him my best man.

  2. J.J. Says:

    I think you’ve got a good thing going here, EDay. So when do you start?

  3. eDayStat Says:

    J.J. you think Jason Kidd and his old lady were just throwin’ shit around the house because she’s bat-shit crazy? They were fighting over her infidelity. Man I already have a $25,000 settlement from him over an “incident” at their house.

    W, point taken on Glen, but I found the picture of Glenn (the musician) which humored me. I thought it would be funny if you imagine the cat in that picture was the one doing the pimp-smack on his wife’s lover.

  4. Burnsy Says:

    Glen Rice is my second favorite player of all-time, behind Alan Ogg and ahead of Sherman Douglas. I would have helped him hide the bodies.

  5. BobWicket Says:

    I bet Kevin Smith has a sweet jumper.

  6. eDayStat Says:

    Bob, easy on the K.S. talk. Burnsy’s still in recovery.

  7. Burnsy Says:

    Great, I just relapsed. Fantastic.

  8. lena Says:

    ohhh my god ….he is gay ..i ent out with him for almost 4 years ..he’s dick its small !!!!

    women …he is nasty and a prostitute.

  9. Courtney Says:

    eDay–you could probably use that 25k to fund your girlfriend’s medical education.

  10. Software Download Database Says:

    Software Download Database

    Sunday Assault ReportS: Glenn Rice | APIAS

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