Well, we’re 10 games into the UK basketball season and what could make things worse than ol’ eDay live blogging the Houston game? Maybe it won’t be that bad, but why not hang around for the next two hours and find out? And UK’s team this year is much like Forrest’s box of chocolates. You never know how shitty this team will be tonight.
11:19: Rebuilding? Buddy, New Orleans didn’t need this much rebuilding. Yeah, I said it and I’ll leave you with that one.
11:17: Just me or does that walk-on handle the ball better than Porter?
11:16: TGC just said “Is that your press.” Unfortunately yes. Rick Pitino is celebrating his 500th win by thinking about what his press looked like in his UK years. Filthy.
11:15: Is Jodie Meeks still playing? Well, sory, shouldn’t take anything away from the guy. He blew up the first half and kept it somewhat close. You know he’d get tired eventually.
11:12: It continues to amaze me that the national media thinks Joe Crawford is so good. Yes the kid has some skill but there’s not one person outside of Kentucky that realizes how selfish and destructive he is to this team. It’s simmply amazing.
11:08: Rest Of Team has 16. What number is he again?
11:05: Rangers beat the Pens 4-0. Was probably more exciting than this basketball game. Even though it was hockey.
11:03: Time for UK to make that 2007-08 patented run to make scores close at the end. This game will probably end up being 9 points and won’t look so bad like every other game this year. Or maybe it’ll be 25…Who cares at this point?
10:51: I can’t even operate the DVR. Damnit.
10:49 TGC: 1984 winner Detlef Schrempf . I just spoke to 2SL who confirmed that he won it, but I’m not sure how they gave the award out before Gimel played in the NCAA. Maybe posthumously?
10:44: Just puttin’ it out there but Joe Crawford is from Rock City. I would not get in that bastard’s face.
10:39: And I’m now talking about football. I never thought this would happen while UK is on ESPN in prime time, but that’s what it has come to.
10:36: J-Coch is on the phone and we’re talking about how surreal this all is.
10:33: Q: What’s seven feet and a waste of space. A: Two midgets playing basketball. Which I’m pretty sure is the situation with Carter. I can see a nose poking out of his jersey in the belly button area.
10:29: Lets take a look back at some past Gimel-for-two award winners. 2002 winner, Jenis Grindstaff of Tennessee… who was perhaps the opposition’s best player some nights… UT’s on others.
10:27: TGC and I just discussed the fact that we’re suprised Gimel went to UK over EKU. Surely with that ‘stache he must have thought of being in law enforcement.
10:25: When a point guard has 4 of his team’s 13 turnovers in the first 22 minutes of a game he is either out of control or not a Kentucky caliber athlete. You be the judge of Michael Porter.
10:23: A point of ephasis for officials this year is offensive players jumping sideways into defenders.
10:19: For some reason that over-the-shoulder announcer look-in unnverves me.
10:17: It’s a bit frightening that TGC knows the way Graves “dives.”
10:15 TGC: Its probably time to start taking a first look at Gimel-for-two award candidates this year. There are a couple foreigners playing for Vandy that have to be in the hunt with Ogilvy and Metcalfe. Graves at Butler is probably too good, but I like the way he dives. And then there’s Porter from UKY who will need to get some more minutes. No matter what Eday and I think though, we’ll need to get 2SL & BobWicket’s official early season list soon.
10:09: Halftime. Let the bleeding stop for a few moments. Down 12 at the half and the pass out of bounds toward the end of the half says it all. Meeks gets doubled 35 feet from the basket and we don’t have the ball players to spread out and get either a layup or an open jumper. It’s just bad, bad basketball.
9:56: Is this the worst Kentucky basketball team ever? Probably not, but it feels good to pretend that we’ve lived in the best of times and the worst of times.
9:54: Somehow every game I watch I don’t feel like we’re playing that bad. Then I look up and we’re down 7 and have double digits turnovers. I guess that’s just traditional optimism hitting me in the face again.
9:52: Just realize where Joe got the idea for his look after that Howie Mandell commercial.
9:50: We just had five guards in the game. Well, you could count Harris as a forward since he technically can’t dribble or shoot. But that’s just semantics. He’s not that tall…
9:49 TGC: While I would never wish harm to an individual, say Dick Vitale, the news that he will be out of action until February does make me a little uncomfortably glad. Get well soon Dick, spend some time on yourself… maybe you’ll discover you have other passions… like maybe fly fishing… or bowling commentary… or general leaving me the hell alone.
9:45: “High into the 80’s.” So that finally explains Miami Vice.
9:44: Apparently J-Carter can dunk so sick off two legs as well.
9:41: And TGC joins us! I never thought I’d say this, but could Chuck Hayes please come out and play for the CATS tonight?
9:39 TGC: Not to worry friends, I’m told Shot of Love doesn’t start til ten. What a waste of time… I mean yes, dear, I do hope she picks the guy and not the butch bisexual.
9:38: And Joe dunks so sick off two legs. Well, kind of a dunk. More like a throw-into-the-basket. But who’re we kidding. That was sick.
9:37: And Carter turns another player into a martyr.
9:35: “Jodie Meeks, where have you been?” Um, pretty sure he was on the bench…hurt.
9:34: I thought Porter was going to rise up and bury one. Then he passed off to Meeks so he could have the glory. And The Goldfish Cowgirl just ask to flip to Tila Tequila’s Shot of Love. Hmmm. Might be less painful.
9:33: And there’s ONE.
9:32: And they now know Carter’s name. He will proceed to foul out by the 7 minute mark.
9:27: “Kentucky feeds the big man inside” translates to “does anyone know who this joker is?” in commentator speak. And yes Virginia, Carter did just score 2 points.
9:26: Apparently, this kid from Houston has no follow-through on his jump shot. Oh, they meant he’s just athletic like Marion. Nevermind. And 17 players from Houston just hopped up and down on the court because of a foul call. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a white guy do that. Just a cultural thing I suppose.
9:25: Would Porter be playing if we wasn’t white? Honestly, that’s probaby a good foul by Stevenson. He fouled before the guy scored that time…Oh, and that was some sick shit that kid from Houston just did.
9:24: SmoothRon just alerted me to the fact that our center’s name was spelled incorrectly. Also, Jason Bourne doesn’t have shit on Jodie Meeks.
9:22: So I guess I was the last person to find out Patterson wasn’t starting? Is Billy G. seriously trying to set a record by starting a different line up every damned game this season?
9:20: And Meeks has 5 since we cut in already. Touche sir, touche.
9:17: Thank you basketball heathen gods. If they don’t fumble that it’s going to be a buzzer beating three and we’re waiting 20 more minutes for UK.
9:16: Live look-in! Looks like we’re tied up. I guess that’s good news? We were dogs on the books. As a side note, I need to raid the APIAS coffers for a larger flat-screen. Could barely see the scoreboard on that look-in.
9:15: Extending length of the game is much easier than extending penis size. So 2SL tells us.
9:14: You are about to see the most ridiculous foul shooting contest ever. No way Kansas gives them a shot at a three. This 9 seconds could take a while.
9:13: 20 FSU players may be suspended for the Music City Bowl. This is no good for the CATS as it’s now a no-win situation. Unless they win by 150. Which they will if they give DLJ the ball. Also, Smith is returning to UCF. How big is Burnsy’s chub right now?
9:09: Cats tip in 1 minute but GT is making this interesting. I just know they’re going to force overtime and I’m going to live-blogging a fucking ACC vs. Big XII game for thirty minutes.
9:05: Kansas isn’t in a dog fight, they’re in a “bee fight.” Wiskey Tango Foxtrot is a “bee fight.” Good gosh, 2SL should be calling this game. He’s got a beautiful speaking voice and wouldn’t say re-re things like “bee fight.”
9:03: Louisville is looking in control to win Pitino’s #500 on the wings of Caracter. Q: how many times can this cat screw the pooch before Pitino gets tired of it. A: Eleventy billion because Pitino needs big men like I need another beer.
9:01: Cats aren’t on yet, but I have successfully saved an overdone bowl of Ramen from the GE Microwave Browner. Also, a cold, tasty, golden Bud Select was rescued from the fridge. Man, I love product placement. Even if we don’t get paid for it.
8:57: Supposed to have Meeks back tonight. Which rec league pick up will he be? You know the guy. The one your boy picks up who used to play at UK, Pitt, Long Beach St, etc. He shows up the first night and you start him because, you know, he used to be The Man somewhere. Then he comes out and either balls and drops 30 or flat-out sucks. We shall see friends, we shall see.