Sandwich Pickem Scramble: Week 13

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Dear Lord.  We’re not going to pretend like this has been easy.  Pulling together this week’s SPS has been like pulling teeth.  Here it stands late Thursday night (okay, now Friday morning) and we’re still not up to TGC’s normally excellent level of excellence (?) here.

Caught up in all the holiday traveling is one terrible fact.  This week’s SPS is being brought to you by the wonder that is dial-up internet access.  Because of that, you’re probably only going to see a text-version of this article on your Black Friday morning.  With luck, we’ll be back in APIAS headquarters in time to update to full helmety goodness by Friday night.  With luck, that is.  Well, without Freddy further Ado ado…

Week 12 Recap:  Well, TGC shook things up with an enormous amount of games that meant absolutely nothing last week.  The scores seem to reflect that a bit.

Three homers tied for the week lead with 7 each (SmoothRon, 2SL, and eDayStat).  Three more sat just behind with 6 each correct (BobWicket, Burnsy, and Peter Bean).  Again, three people hit 50% on the week with our female hero (somehow heroine has a negative connotation) Holly, TGC, and MJ all picking 5 correct.  Extra P rounded out the scoring with 4 right.  Overall, yours truly holds a 4-game lead over MJ and SR sitting in second.  I have been known to implode down the stretch folks.  Just wait for it.

Burnsy looks like a damned ACC prophet, being the only one to correctly pick the might Ryans over the cute-little-orange-helmets-with-the-paw-print-on-the-side.  BobWicket on the other hand was the only one to ball up and take FIU.  Looks like Ned has let him down again.  No homers put their faith in the Cats, which paid off last week.  On to this week’s text-only picks (with the promise of super-cool helmet JPEGS soon)!

AWAYERS

Holly

 

ExtraP

 

MJ

 

Burnsy

 

PeterBean

USC

 

ASU

 

NA

 

ASU

 

NA

LSU

 

LSU

 

NA

 

LSU

 

NA

HA

 

HA

 

NA

 

BSU

 

NA

VA

 

VT

 

NA

 

VT

 

NA

TN

 

TN

 

NA

 

TN

 

NA

WVU

 

WVU

 

NA

 

UCONN

 

NA

KU

 

KU

 

NA

 

MIZZ

 

NA

UCF

 

UCF

 

NA

 

UCF

 

NA

CU

 

USC

 

NA

 

USC

 

NA

AU

 

AU

 

NA

 

AU

 

NA

HOMERS

TGC

 

eDayStat

 

SmoothRon

 

2SL

 

BobWicket

USC

 

ASU

 

USC

 

USC

 

USC

LSU

 

LSU

 

LSU

 

LSU

 

LSU

HA

 

BSU

 

HA

 

HA

 

BSU

VA

 

VA

 

VT

 

VA

 

VT

UT

 

UK

 

UT

 

UT

 

UK

WVU

 

WVU

 

WVU

 

WVU

 

WVU

KU

 

KU

 

MIZZ

 

MIZZ

 

KU

UCF

 

UCF

 

UCF

 

UCF

 

UCF

USC

 

CU

 

CU

 

USC

 

CU

AL

 

AU

 

AU

 

AU

 

AU

So there you have them.  The picks by all involved.  Still waiting for MJ and PB’s picks this week as of early Friday morning, but once they come in, they’ll be updated along with the helmets everyone is missing.  On to a few of the choice comments of the week.

(ed.  A couple of quick notes on this week’s comments.  SmoothRon was smashed again and we didn’t feel it pertinent to place Burnsy’s name after every comment because if you can’t pick out his comments from the others by now…)

USC @ ASU

theres a good chance i may lose my life if usc doesnt cover the three on thanksgiving night – SR  (ed. Thank God we’ve still got SmoothRon with us)

USC – Just to screw up the BCS….even more. – BW

ASU wins, though I really think this game should have been played at the Pink Taco. -EP

ASU over USC – Based on my experience and great range of attendance at college football games across the nation, I hypothesize that, based on the females in attendance of this game, the exact opposite matchup would be the Marshall Thundering Herd vs. bridge trolls.  (ed. Damnit Burnsy, now I want to go watch Willow)

AK @ LSU

good gosh damn. give me lsu trying to take away the distractiono of their head caoch becoming the next great head coach at the greatest fuootball univeristy ever.  yes please. -SR

If Michigan hires Les Miles, can the CATS play in the big house? -BW

Miles of Nutts… LSU it is. -EP

LSU over Arkansas – Les Miles? How about More Yards? Shit, I’m smooth.

BSU @ HA

Hawaii===midmajors…. fuck midmajors.  they only look hot when you get drunk at the bar.  then they end up being 39 and talkiing about their daughter who is in high school. -SR

Boise State – I like potatoes. -BW

Hawaii will go undefeated this year, just to make it more annoying when they don’t get to play for a championship. -EP

Boise State over Hawaii – “Colt Brennan stars in… Dude Ranch 12: Stickin’ It to the Man” (ed. Wasn’t 2SL his co-star in that?)

VT @ UVA

#8 Virginia Tech—al groh fucking sucks at coaching football. -SR

Virginia Tech – Win one for the Vicker! -BW

Virginia is in the top 25 by luck & Elmer’s glue, so I think VTech will make a statement by crushing them. -EP

Va. Tech over UVA – I’m actually impressed by the lack of Asian gunman jokes I’ve made this season when we’ve picked Va. Tech games. Don’t mistake it for weakness.

UT @ UK

UT is GETTING 3 POINTS in this game.  GETTING POINTS.  i was 18 montsh old the last time UK beat UT.  if im not already dead after the usc game, i dont weven want to know what ill be doing saturdan y night if this doesnt work out. -SR

Kentucky – Eday, you..me..Mom and Pop Wicket have a date with some yellow goal posts. -BW (ed. Would gladly trade 5 years of life to see Mom & Pop Wicket riding a goal post to the ground)

I choose Tennessee so Holly can stop grinding her lovely teeth to the nub. -EP

Tennessee over Kentucky – Didn’t these teams just play? I’m so confused.

UCONN @ WVU

West Virginia== rich rodrigue z could have just lost to ul montroe , insetead he’s going to play in the national championship game.  -SR

West Virginia – Oh West Virginia, Why you gotta let Louisville hit that buzz-er beat-er? -BW (ed. When is BobWicket buying the Mill again?)

WVU outclasses UConn.  The biggest issue will be finding a reserve of previously un-burned couches in Morgantown.  We may have to start a couch lift.

UConn over WVU – Huskies, just like my women. Is there a college football team whose mascot is the “Unconcious”? Because that would be appropos as well.

MIZZ @ KU

#4 Missouri—i wondr how many bbeers wit it would take me to ingest to get to manginos weight? -SR

Kansas – National CHAMPS! -BW

This is “at” Kansas in name only.  We could see riots at neutral Arrowhead stadium, which sits midway between both schools. I’m a sucker, but I pick my boys in blue.  Go ‘Hawks!   -EP

Mizzou over Kansas – See also: Burnsy’s second favorite college team over disgustingly obese coaches.

UTEP @ UCF

UCF==only becuase burnsy gets a hardon anytime someoneo metnions Kevin smith.  i once bought my bothrther ia poster of jay and silent bob the movie that kevin smith signed.  it would be funny if the UCF rb signed that poster.  -SR

UCF – Marc Cohn believes. -BW

The miners are too UTEPid to take this one.  Thank you, I plan to write NY Post back-page headlines some day.  -EP

UCF over UTEP – See also: Kevin Smith over 2,000 yards and 30 TDs; Burnsy’s 24K symbolic boner over actual creepy dude for dude boner; Bloody deaths over clean and quiet deaths for Doak Walker voters

UC @ USC

Clemson==getcha some folgolf bugd!!!  that was totally supposed to say “hell, getcha some golf!”  -SR

Clemson – Because Matt Ryan is not on the field. -BW

Clemson is ranked, that means it’s Ballsack Coach’s turn to win. -EP

USC over Clemson – I heard Spurrier eats his players’ illegitimate babies on Thanksgiving.

BAMA @ AU

Auburn – Because UL Monroe is not on the field. -BW

Out of pure, mean-spirited dislike for Saban.  -EP

Auburn over Alabama – Afterward, Nick Saban compares the loss to Jesus on the cross and the birth of the antichrist.

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5 Responses to “Sandwich Pickem Scramble: Week 13”

  1. Burnsy Says:

    SR, again, I am impressed.

  2. smoothron Says:

    yeah, 2nd week in a row that i read this stuff for the first time myself. my life sucks.

  3. eDayStat Says:

    A bit worried about the Cats’ fortunes today as I am currently 0-3 on the week.

  4. Burnsy Says:

    Congrats and good luck, my Volunteer faithful. In the meantime, Kevin Smith is the dreamiest man alive. Fuck Matt Damon.

  5. BobWicket Says:

    LONES!!!

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