Random Thoughts: The Maiden Voyage

by

gooojc.jpgWe here at APIAS.net have a universal love for John Clay of the Lexington Herald-Leader.  In fact, TGC wrote an ode to Mr. Clay back in 2006.  That was the very first post on this here little blog and in that spirit this week we take a look at the sporting world in the revolutionary style that Clay has adopted for many of his Wednesday columns over the years.  As Scott Miller will like say at Mucklewainagain this weekend, we ain’t got no time for no jibber-jabber.  On with the random thoughts!

Who would have thought the 2007 college football season would have brought a 4-0 UK team and a 0-4 Notre Dame team?  We haven’t seen that since…Well never, because Notre Dame has never been 0-4.

And what’s up with the NFL?  The Packers are 3-0 with the Falcons 0-3?  Tell me you would have bet that on the money line in the off-season.

Back to UK football.  You think that “pep rally” down at 4th Street Live ruffled a few feathers in Cardinal country?

Okay, okay.  That shit can’t go on.  The laptop almost got puked on while getting that last one out.  On to some actual insight as to what’s going on in the world of sports on the whole.

The 49ers record indicates that they are who we thought they were in the off-season.  However, going inside the numbers we see that the ‘9ers are 31st in the league in YPG at 233.  Yes friends, that is next to last in the league.  They are also 31st in the league in passing with 132.3 YPG coming from that up-and-coming quarterback with the super-athletic tight end and a revamped receiving corps.  Let’s face it, San Fran has been bad for three games this year and are somehow 2-1.  It scares one to think what this team will do if Smith starts throwing the ball half-way straight and the line decided to run block sometime before 2008.

youngfavre.jpgNot to dwell on the drivel from above, but Green Bay is actually 3-0 on the year.  Brett Favre, dinosaur extraordinaire, has got the Packers sitting 6th in the league in scoring and 6th in passing.  He’s wingin’ the ball around the field like he’s 15 again (see image).  They have wins over Philly and San Diego which were thought to be two of the league’s class teams before the year started.  Then again, all three teams they have played (Giants being the third) are sitting at 1-2 after three weeks.  So who knows if Favre really has rejuvenated this team or if they’re just playing teams that are down right now?

Well, the NASCAR Chase has finally rolled around.  JR. isn’t in the running so it’s a little hard to get excited to watch cars drive in a circle for 4 hours now.  It’s even hard to get up for the weekly watch 20 laps, take 2.5 hour nap, watch final 20 laps routine.  It did bring a smile to our face to see “Hot” Carl Edwards drop 25 points due to cheating his way to the win at Dover.  Oh yeah, DEJ is sitting in 13th, which puts him in 1st place in the race for top driver who couldn’t make the playoffs.  That’s like being the hottest chick that didn’t quite make the cheer-leading team in high school.  And that just makes you a slut.  Then again, 200,000 shirts orders just went in for Amp/Mt. Dew #88 shirts.  That makes ol’ Dale quite the shirt-hocking whore.

hopesolo.jpgThe most exciting sports story to most people right now should be the U.S. women’s World Cup soccer team.  We here at APIAS.net are no soccer experts.  Speaking personally, I generally have a dislike for the game, but when it’s your country, playing you back them.  It doesn’t matter if it’s men’s couples figure skating, you’d better hope your team wins the gold.  So far so good for the U.S. women’s team as they’ve given up only 2 goals in 4 World Cup matches.  We’d like to think that the lovely Hope Solo has something to do with this.  Apparently coach Greg Ryan isn’t a believer.  Brianna Scurry will be starting in goal for the U.S. against Brazil in the semis.  Either this is an injury thing with Solo, some match-up related move that we don’t understand (again, not soccer experts), or Coach Ryan is just, shall we say, not into chicks.  If I had a young lady with those eyes playing on my soccer team she would only be on the bench if I wanted to have time to ask her out for drinks later.

There you have it sports fans.  A beautiful train wreck full of nothing but yummy, sporty goodness and incoherent thoughts.  It’s what we do best at APIAS and it was time to throw it all into a neat, little itemized package.  Compliments of John Clay.

(Note:  none of the actual content in this article was supplied by John Clay, although if the newspaper in the morning contains that pun about UofL, eDay will send him a fruit basket and immediately shoot himself for thinking like John Clay for even 5 seconds)

Advertisements

3 Responses to “Random Thoughts: The Maiden Voyage”

  1. TheGoldfishCowboy Says:

    GOO!

  2. smoothron Says:

    Verne Lundquist and John Clay both on the frontpage? Come on, that’s just torture.

  3. TheW Says:

    I never noticed how much John Clay and Sloth from the goonies resembled one another.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: