That my friends is the coffee table in apias corporate headquarters. It looks like a lot of shitty coffee tables you have seen before except for one glaring difference that was noticed by your kindly writer this morning. Yes, that is a piece of duct tape separating the two halves of that table.
What this means is that yours truly and TGC were up until 5AM playing Beer Guy, which if you dont’ know, is a fantastic drinking game involving throwing a die around. The bottom line of this game is your drink beer. A LOT of beer. But I digress.
Coming at you this morning at 12:00pm skippy is no less than 8 games with Clemson, Louisville, South Florida, and West “Fucking” Virginia all ranked and all hitting your TV screens this morning. Stick with us throughout the day because Cats and Hogs hit ESPN2 at 6:00 and the Vols will be playing the other state college in Arkansas at 7:00PM. We won’t be live-blogging this so much as we’ll be attempting to operate this
well-oiled trainwreck of a machine throughout the day and bringing you as many updates as our minds can handle.
1:49 Smoothron attempting to learn Soulja Boy dance. HIGH COMEDY.
2:57 Burgoo is a bubbling. Dance lessons have stalled.
3:16 As requested. The rules to Beer Guy.
Two People to a Team, although 1 on 1 is acceptable. 1 table and a die. Everyone is sitting down at each corner of the table with a full beer in their cup. A player takes the die and tosses underhand at the other teams side of the table (minumum height-opponent’s head). The die must hit at their half of the table. If die doesn’t land on the other side or is thrown too low, players turn is over, no points awarded, and may God have mercy on your soul. If it does land on the proper side, defending team must catch the die (one hand only, and team must wait until die is no longer over the table (i.e. it will bounce and rattle, you must catch it between the table and the floor, diving accepted). If defending team fails to catch the die, thrower’s team gets a point. First to five wins. If you throw the dice up and it lands in the oppents cup, opponents must finish the beer. Replace, and play continues. If the die does not fall off the table, play continues in order, however, if it stays on the table and ends up a 1. Everyone finishes beers, play continues. Fun game, you should try it. It gets very active and competitive, fair warning.
3:48 Bourbon is bubbling in the belly. Burgoo smells excellent and will be soon joining said bourbon. Oh yeah, Louisville just lost to a bad, bad Syracuse football team. Ole Miss is giving Florida a run for their money. Duke is beating up on Navy. What the Hell is going to happen next today? And this was being typed, Michigan gets a PSU fumble on the 15. Nesslere says “There’s a Graham Cracker for Graham” Seriously?
4:09 South Carolina scores first. I told you he could really go.
4:53 Michigan Band plays Hail to the Victors after a missed field goal attempt.
5:05 Smoothron: “They score on a fake field goal and the LSU staff is celebrating like they just won the national ch….. GOOD LORD THEY’RE KISSING ON THE MOUTH!”
7:35 W shows up, and his hatred for all amusement parks, specifically King’s Island is made well known.
9:50 eDay: I do not care who told the University of Kentucky that they have a football team, but whoever that man was, I would gladly buy him a cold beer and/or prostitute for 1 night. Jebus, I can’t even describe the range of emotions right now. Last year I would have been running naked through our townhouse complex. This year, I expected that win. I knew going in that we had a good chance to beat a great SEC team on the road. After a fumble returned for a touchdown and a free kick return, every other Kentucky team in my life would have cashed ’em in. This team? FOR REAL. These guys don’t quit and I’m actually proud of a UK football team that is now FOUR AND OH. – eDay
11:56 Eday just signed up for littlepeoplemeet.com… which yes, is a hookup site for midgets… this is what goes on here
12:14 Watched the Sweet Plasma Tee Vee commercial over at Burnsy’s site for the 15th time.
12:18 Color man on WU-UCLA game (after the first down marker presented by overstock.com–which I won’t link to): “It might be all about the O for them, for me it’s all about the P”. Yeah.
12:22 W leaves to go continue the fight (from King’s Island) with Mrs. W.
12:28 The color man for Purdue-Minnesota just claimed he knew a man with “a long intimate knowledge of Vince Young.”
12:35 Beer Guy tournament in the works.
12:39 From eDay’s mouth aimed at TGC: “Because of you in the last week I have had beer put in my mouth, in my eyes, and up my nose.”