N.Y. Giants to Start Offensive Lineman at QB (possibly)

by

hejustalittleguy.jpg Well, after taking Jared Lorenzen in 2 (TWO!) fantasy football drafts as a joke, old eDay may have the last laugh.  The Giants (or at least Tom Coughlin) are completely down-playing Eli Manning’s damaged shoulder.  Actually, his torn labrum, which to be honest, we thought was somewhere in the pelvic region instead of the shoulder.  The Hefty Lefty may get his first NFL start Sunday if Manning isn’t quite as healthy as advertised.

More gigantic man love after the jump.

a slightly separated shoulder which is expected to keep him out at least a month, sources told ESPN’s Chris Mortensen on Monday.

 Wow.  I mean, absolutely W.O.W.  It was quite a surprise to a lot of people that anyone even picked up Lorenzen after his career at UK.  Sure he had an absolute cannon and when allowed to go vertical he could do some damage to opposing secondaries. 

The thing is, the NFL is much more dependent on reading defenses, making smart decisions, and being able to hit your target on passes 5, 10, 15, and 20 yards down field.  Only 14% of the total receptions in the NFL last year went for 20+ yards, so a QB has to be accurate on short passes with quick reads.  This wasn’t J. Lo’s strong point at UK.

To be fair, Lorenzen’s ability to read defenses and his accuracy improved over his years at UK.  Although the stats say his accuracy never changed much (average completion rate of 57%, with 57% as a Frosh, Soph, and Sr and 56% as a Jr) the offensive strategies changed a lot over those years.  All the screen passes and short 5 yard throws that UK used as running plays his early years helped inflate his percentage those years.  Maybe the past few years of sitting the bench and being around an NFL team will Lorenzen set to make some good reads and be on point with his throws.

All of this may be wishful thinking though.  I mean when Coach Coughlin himself says things like this:

“I don’t know where that report came from and I don’t know where the information supposedly came from,” Coughlin said, adding that if Manning can’t play this week “it will be another week.”

The sheer genius of this statement is hard to miss.  If he can’t play this week…”it will be another week.”  Really?  Sometimes I wonder how the man dresses himself in the morning (assuming he does).

In the end, what really matters is that all of those fans down in Lexington, KY will be flocking to their televisions on Sunday if Lorenzen does start.  He had a lot of fans in the Bluegrass due to his sheer athletic ability.  Well, yeah, maybe it was because he was bigger than a couple of his linemen at times.  And no, that is in fact not a joke. 

We at apias.net wish you luck Jared.  Hopefully you get to go out and show what you can do at the NFL level.  Whether that’s a 300 yard day for 3 TD’s or a 110 yard day with 3 picks, you deserve your chance to show what you have.  Here’s hoping that the Packers don’t make you eat that ball this weekend.  That is, if you weren’t planning to do that already.

[ESPN] [ProFootballReference]

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31 Responses to “N.Y. Giants to Start Offensive Lineman at QB (possibly)”

  1. Extra P. Says:

    I’m glad he at least has enough sense to wear a double-digit number.

  2. W Says:

    When I heard Manning went down, I nearly cried- tears of joy.

  3. W Says:

    Jared, do this for all the fat guys out there with a decent arm that threw better than their backup HS QB, but had to play O-line because of their lack of athletic ability.

  4. eDayStat Says:

    @W: Uh, maybe that was just you W, I’m not sure.

    @Extra P.: I wish to God they would have gave him a single ‘1’ That would be some funny shit.

  5. Extra P. Says:

    Yeah, I’d be making jokes like “uh oh, looks like Lorenzen spilled mayonnaise down the front of his practice jersey!”

  6. TheGoldfishCowboy Says:

    I fully expect him, at some point during a 2 minute drill, to choke, cough up a full chicken in an explosion of feathers… then it wakes up and flies away

  7. smoothron Says:

    I saw him 20+ times while at UK… none of which he wasn’t eating, or drinking in excess (same goes for me).

    Actually, I saw him one time while he wasn’t eating. We played him and his boys in intramurals. Seriously, that fat ass can dunk a basketball. That is a sight of athleticism you really have to see to believe.

  8. boomer Says:

    The Pack will bury The Pillsbury Throwboy.

    Or if Eli is faking it for attention, the Pack will hit him so many times that dumb old hang-dog look he gets on his face after every play will become a permanent fixture.

    I bet when Archie watches Eli play, he always thinks how lucky he is that Peyton is also his son.

  9. Bobbo Says:

    Are we sure his number at UK wasn’t 2? Both the front and back numbers are visible in the pic above, methinks…ba-dum bum! I’m here all week, try the veal!

  10. TheGoldfishCowboy Says:

    No, in that picture, he has Tim Couch strapped to his Fupa as punishment for taking the last donut.. that’s the other 2 you’re seeing… through the mesh

  11. BobWicket Says:

    That dude stole my nickname!

  12. TheNaturalMevs Says:

    Count me as one who thinks manning will play sunday

  13. coollikeme Says:

    Giants motto: Come to camp in good shape and win.

  14. kylydia Says:

    Yay for the Pillsbury Throwboy. His girlfriend lived across the street from us his senior year. The offseason was a full schedule of WingZone and Mad Mushroom for JL.

    Seriously, I hope he does really well.

  15. TheGoldfishCowboy Says:

    girlfriend = Krispy Kreme
    WingZone = eating
    Mad Mushroom = eating

    Bobby Jenks is fat.

  16. eddiebear Says:

    I would pay to see him eat at the training table with Strahan.

  17. Top Posts « WordPress.com Says:

    […] N.Y. Giants to Start Offensive Lineman at QB (possibly) [image] Well, after taking Jared Lorenzen in 2 (TWO!) fantasy football drafts as a joke, old eDay may have the last […] […]

  18. 2ndstorylloyd Says:

    Why do you think Strahan didn’t come to training camp? He was out eaten by JLO.

  19. BobWicket Says:

    Prepare to be amazed. Also, prepare to hear the commentators mention his size between 80% of the snaps supplimented with comments like, “He really is more athletic than he looks” or “It’s gonna take more than one linebacker to sack this guy.” If he were to go 3-1 in this stretch, will Eli need to be worried?

  20. mikeelliott1 Says:

    No matter what, it’ll be fun to watch.

  21. Extra P. Says:

    I just like how his pads have come to resemble a girdle.

    And this ribbing is in good fun, because I bet Jared and I could go platter-for-platter if we were out on the town together.

  22. BobWicket Says:

    I too know what it is like to eat. Did you say ribs?

  23. TheGoldfishCowboy Says:

    @2SL says: Why do you think Strahan didn’t come to training camp? He was out eaten by JLO

    Anyone else have to read that a couple times?

  24. BobWicket Says:

    I too know what it is like to transpose words when reading.

  25. smoothron Says:

    The other way of reading it might be one of the grossest things ever. Seriously.

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    RxVFRb hi! hice site!

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  31. Leland Says:

    Excellent article. I’m experiencing a few of these issues as well..

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