Archive for September, 2007

While You Were Gone…

September 30, 2007

King RalphIt’s taken almost a full 24 hours for the Saturday that was in college football to sink in.  It began as a week to go camping, appease the lady, go to Home Depot and maybe Bed, Bath & Beyond if there was time, get outside, spend time with the family.  As the last moments of the USC/Washington game ticked away the most influential weekend in college football during the 2007 campaign was over.  That’s right, some of you missed the most influential weekend in college football this year.

Those of us who braved through the upsets, the people that understand why the Top 25 looked the way it did this morning and the trusty lonely college football fans remember the Saturday that was.  There will be no punishment for those of you who were absent, no retribution for time lost, and certainly no “Man did you miss it…” conversations.  Those of us who did not explore nature, passed up the chance to get laid, ditched redecorating the kitchen and ignored the family get the joy of “I told you” comments.  Since you were gone we can claim outrageous things we knew before kick-off but you were not around to hear…

While you were gone I said… (more…)

Behind the Blogging – 2SL, episode 1

September 30, 2007

I have just located, thanks to the SecondStoryMother, a video of one of 2SL’s first dates as a young lad. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve helplessly watched this tragic sequence replay itself over the 10 years I’ve known him.

The look on the girls face… its just heart-wrenching.

Gut-Check Saturday

September 29, 2007


Here’s our attempt at a “live-blog” on a football Saturday. TGC and Eday are cutting up some rug down at Mucklewain, so 2SL and I will be your captains. Lay back, find yourself a cool drink… and enjoy the ride (that’s what she said).

SR (1:55pm) — Here we sit about 2pm on a Saturday afternoon. Michigan is cruising against Northwestern and looks to go to 5-0. The Mets have had the East clinched for over a week now, and look ready to make a nice postseason run. OH SHIT!! That’s how things were supposed to happen. Alas, Michigan is 2-2 and is losing at the half to a bad Northwestern team that got embarassed by Ohio State last weekend. Oh, and the Mets and their “7-game-lead-15-days-ago-thing,” well, they’re up 4-0 against the Marlins, but Philly controls their own destiny and with a win and a Mets’ loss will win the division. Here’s to a great fall!


Sandwich Pickem Scramble Week 5

September 28, 2007


Week FORE! Recap: PB and Bobbo tied MJ with the best week of the year last week with 9/10.  Bean Himself was worshipping along with Sabanation and it failed him, whilst The Wicket did not believe in the power of a 1-2 Maize and Blue against a set of coke bottle lenses.  At any rate, good week fellas.

Over on the Awayers side, Extra P continued his string of 6’s alongside our heroine (who listened to Bob Kesling describe Erik’s career day and put up with my IM-degrading-of-the-defense) and Burnsy (who apparently spent last saturday yelling at old ladies).  Matt J bagged 8 to maintain the solo lead, and also passed up a chance to ride the Big Blue Juice Wave into (and out of) Fayetteville.

While the Homers increased the team lead to 5, Smoothron dropped 2 games, and stayed 1 back of the overall lead.  Eday was able to celebrate another big UK win without slicing any flesh this week, and along with yours truly and 2SL (who, for some reason liked Clausen to beat a Big 10 team) finished with 7.  And honestly folks, who doesn’t like ol’ Stevie Johnson?

pickemprintablewk5.JPGONTO THIS WEEK: Probably my favorite game this week is the Cal-Oregon matchup.  Both teams have deadly offenses and enjoy a good wacky play call every now and then.  Another big one is Bammer at FSU.  All kinds of historical storylines hear, I wonder if the WWL will pick up on any of them.  The first matchup of the Commander-in-Chief trophy happens this Saturday as well with Air Force @ Navy.  Also this impending question, can Kragthorpe beat NC State?  (Printable Grid above)





This week’s best from the Aristocracy:

Not even a million words can describe how much I hate USF. – burnsy
It’s really embarassing for the Bulls that they have to play in Raymond James Stadium, the place was less than half full last Saturday.  There will probably be at least five high school games in FL that outdraw this game Friday night. – sr
Oh, Friday Night Lights, great show.  I pick coach Taylor and the Dillon Bulls to pull the upset for a ratings bonanza. – xp
West “Fucking” Virginia over South Florida.  I just have this feeling that USF is good, but not quite ready to step up to that level of play. – eday

Penn State @ Illinois
When interviewed by, Zook had this to say, “Fuck Lion,” when informed that the head coach of the Illini was Ron Zook, Zook had this to say, “Oh, right, yeah, I’ll take Penn State… you wanna go wakeboarding?” – tgc
I think a Lion could definitely eat an Illini, even if he was a Nittany Lion.  I’m going with PSU. – xp
Maybe this week Joe Pa will hire Matlock to figure out where his balls have gone. – burnsy
Hell, even an asleep JoePa can out-coach Ron Zook. – sr

Air Force @ Navy
Navy had to muster up a fourth quarter run to beat Duke, that means they’re not a very good football team. – sr
Navy over Air Force.  Because in two weeks I’ll be in Imperial Beach hanging with a bunch of Navy guys.  I do NOT want to explain to those guys why I picked AF in this one. – eday
Air Force has control of the skies, but Navy has ships AND Marines.  Midshipmen it is. – xp
They should play this game on an aircraft carrier and instead of balls they should use missiles and instead of playing each other they could play Al Qaeda and they’ll go into sudden death and Bin Laden will call heads for Al Qaeda and he’ll say, “We”ll take the ball and we’re going to score.” And then Pat Tillman’s ghost will arrive and shoot him in the head and he’ll say, “Forfeit, bitch.” – burnsy

California @ Oregon
In an effort to maintain their strangehold of the worst uniforms in college football history, Oregon players will wear actual live ducks during the game.- burnsy
Bet the over on this game heavily.   – sr
Oregon over Cal.  Four words sum this game up: “The Duck Is BACK!” – eday
Cal has that ‘team of destiny’ feel about them this year.  Narrow road victory to the Bears. – xp

Clemson @ Ga Tech
Clemson.  I have nothing clever to say about this.  It’s just that uninteresting. – xp
C-L-E-M-S-Q-D-D-D-K-7-Q… I wish my pa done teached me to spell. – burnsy
Clemson by one awesome gas station/club/diner. – tgc
How bad is the ACC?  Miami could very well run the table in conference the rest of the way, and were absolutely embarassed by Oklahoma.  This wouldn’t happen if Jimmy Johnson’s hair was still coaching at the U.  – sr

Louisville @ NC State
A NC State win would help UCF’s strength of schedule. Did you even know that UCF had a strength of schedule? – burnsy
Wow… sucktastic.  Um, NC State, I guess. – xp
Bet the over on this game heavily. – sr

Alabama @ Florida State
I’ve been picking against Bama and it’s not working for me.  This week, the Elephantide wins, and I revel in the approbation of my peers. – xp
Bobby Bowden meets his “Ghost of Christmas Past” in Nick Saban. – sr
Two coaches who I wish would die while in a gay 69 embrace so they’ll both be ridiculed for eternity. – burnsy

UCLA @ Oregon St
DUCKS!!!!!!!!!!! – xp
attn: extra p, what the fuck does that mean? – tgc
If the… I mean, Coach Dorrell can’t have his team ready to play better in Oregon than they were in Utah, it’s probably time to start looking for work somehwere else.  – sr
UCLA over OSU.  Ever since I was a kid I have hated beavers.  Not quite sure what it is, but fuck those flat-tailed pieces of shit. – eday

Auburn @ Florida
Good lord.  Florida, of course. – xp
And grown men everywhere will continue to masturbate to pictures of Urban Meyer. – burnsy
Barely beating Ole Miss > Getting beaten by Sly Croom; actually Getting Beaten by Sly Croom < Anything in the world – sr

Cincinnati @ SD State
I can’t name one person playing in this game. – burnsy
As long as Marshall Faulk isn’t playing for the Aztecs, I feel pretty good about the Bearcats.  – sr
Cincy is an interesting surprise this year.  I think they’ll win this one. – xp
Cincinnati has The Beach Waterpark, which I attended in August.  Toddlers, long lines, fat guys in wet tshirts.  San Diego has the REAL Beach which I am attending in October, not to mention its dirty neighbor Tijuana.  Surfing. Beer. Boobies. I’m going with the guys less distracted during the week. – tgc

Gambler’s Paradise Returns

September 27, 2007

money.jpgAs a gambler, there are highs and lows.  There are balls and strikes.  There are wins and losses.  Well, the last time I posted this column, there were lows, strikes, and losses.  Bad, bad, bad losses.  I may or may not have gambled away a figure close to the Gross National Product of Myanmar.  If you want to see the debacle, click here.  I mean, wow.  It started badly with Nebraska’s complete mis-handling of the game at Wake.  Afterwards, Bill Callahan hinted towards the fact they had the game in control the whole time, but didn’t want to give anything away to USC.  How’d that work out for you, Callie?  Speaking of crapping the bed, how about Michigan against Oregon?  Dennis Dixon for Heisman anyone?  The Ol’ Ball Coach was getting way too much respect going between the Hedges, right?  Hell no, he bent Richt over every way he wanted.  I actually ended up going 3-2 on the weekend, I just didn’t happen to bet the two wins very hard.  But, as a good friend once said,  “AAHHH… Back in the game!”

Gambling advice for purely entertainment purposes at your own risk after the jump.  (more…)

“Rocky Top You’ll Always Be..Suspended Indefinitely To Me”

September 27, 2007

UT Hoops 

Not that it’s time to completely give up on the University of Tennessee Football season, but it sure doesn’t hurt to look forward to basketball season.  Wow, who would have thought in east Tennessee, the previous statement would ever be relevant.  Alas, it is.  As the football season unravels, Vol fans are grabbing hold of the expectations surrounding men’s basketball.  Yeah, expectations around men’s basketball not women’s.  Well, we all know the women will be outstanding as usual; but, expectations are swirling around a guys’ team that many are picking to win the SEC in the ’07-’08 season.

Of course it wouldn’t be Tennessee athletics without the most famous phrase of late, “suspended for violating team rules.”  Oh yeah, a phrase uttered weekly by big Phil Fulmer has leaked over to Tennessee basketball.

Tennessee forward Duke Crews, who started 18 games as a freshman last season, has been suspended indefinitely for violating team rules.

“Duke is a very intelligent student-athlete but has made some poor decisions,” coach Bruce Pearl said Wednesday in a release. “It is in his, as well as the team’s, best interest that he is suspended at this time.”

More violations after the jump. (more…)

The Eulogy I Deserve To Give

September 27, 2007

With the Yankees’ pounding of the Rays, the deafening silence of closure has set in.  The Tigers’ season is officially over.

I know I’m supposed to be glad that the team fought so hard with injury-riddled lineups, patchwork pitching, and many more Toledo Mudhens than were ever supposed to see the bigs this year.  I know how I’m supposed to feel as the fan who sat through 12 straight losing seasons and 4 fouled up manager hirings, and some of the worst baseball trades of the 90s.  I know how I’m supposed to feel since I sat glued to my screen in Knoxville, TN in September 2003 praying to God, Buddha, Kevin Costner, and Roy Hobbs that we not break that goddamn loss record.  


He’s got maahhbulls

September 26, 2007

(posted on 9-26-07 by: W)

In case you haven’t heard, the man who purchased Lou Ferrigno’s  Barry Bonds’ 756th home run ball is…get this… branding it with an asterisk and sending it to the Hall of Fame. 

Applause, kudos, and any congratulatory noun I didn’t include here goes to both Mark Ecko (owner of ball) and the Hall of Fame for showing some mighty large cojones (so far) to make the statement that Major League Baseball has seemed to give up on.

I know the steroids debate has been beaten like Barbaro and even crossed over into other sports such as cycling (really?) and professional wrestling (really? really?) but I think it’s finally time to make this asterisk ball the death knell on the steroids debate.

Yes, it’s hard for us to wrap our collective heads around highly paid and trained athletes cheating at the games we love so dearly, and while what they did was wrong, it wasn’t illegal- at least not at the time in which they were doing it.


Random Thoughts: The Maiden Voyage

September 26, 2007

gooojc.jpgWe here at have a universal love for John Clay of the Lexington Herald-Leader.  In fact, TGC wrote an ode to Mr. Clay back in 2006.  That was the very first post on this here little blog and in that spirit this week we take a look at the sporting world in the revolutionary style that Clay has adopted for many of his Wednesday columns over the years.  As Scott Miller will like say at Mucklewainagain this weekend, we ain’t got no time for no jibber-jabber.  On with the random thoughts!


You know what I mean, Verne?

September 25, 2007

(by: W | 9-24-07)

Before I unleash this tirade, I must preface it with this simple little personal factoid: I HATE amusement parks- of any kind.  And Saturday this hatred became even greater when I had to spend the day at one these godforsaken places instead of hanging out with the APIAS crew drinking and burgooing all the live long day. 

Now, not only did this make me moan with even more piss, vinegar and vitriol than any man should need in his system, but the day turned out even worse than expected- something I had not foreseen possible that culminated in a fight with Mrs. W. I shan’t go into any further details, but this should set the tone for my mood when I (finally) arrived at the back porch to catch the 4th quarter of the UK game.

As we sat watching the ‘Cats making a comeback ever-so innocently, I heard Verne Drunkquist utter a phrase that is quite common amongst sportscasters and even more common to the synapses in my brain- he referred to an Arkansas player getting a “blow” on the sidelines.