This Week’s T’d Up: Blake Mitchell, less TD’s, more ZZZ’s

T’d Up is a weekly column that runs on Fridays selecting, in our humblest of opinions, the biggest sports Tool of the Week.  

In the spirit of APIAS’ SEC week, I was able to run across a fascinating story of the king of double-standard-for-star-player punishment, Steve Spurrier, suspending his starting quarterback for the first two practices and the opening game (against national power Lousiana-Lafayette) for sleeping through summer school.

Steve Fink, a spokesman for the athletic department, said Thursday that Mitchell, tailback Bobby Wallace and cornerback Chris Hail were suspended for the Gamecocks’ opener Sept. 1 at home.

The three players also were suspended from the team’s first two practices this fall for violating an athletic department policy by missing classes.

Of course, Mitchell is currently appealing the punishment, and if overturned, he’ll be allowed to play by Spurrier.  Which brings up an interesting question.  Who the hell is he appealing to?  Spurrier.  So if Spurrier hears the appeal and grants it, then Spurrier will rescind Spurrier’s earlier punishment.  Makes sense.

More all-phase mediocrity after the jump.

You may remember last year when Mitchell punched a bouncer after getting tossed out of a bar in Columbia (a bar in 5 Points that TGC has frequented quite a few times over the past 10 years on various SEC football and basketball excursions I might add… nice place, cheap beers, scantily clad coeds, and of course those raging imposing face-punch-enticing bouncers.)  That time, Mitchell punched a bouncer in the face (in the FACE) and Ol’ Ball’s response was nothing if not understanding.

“Yeah, Blake got into a little scuffle last night… we’ll wait and see if this thing clears itself up.”

Right. It usually does when you PUNCH A BOUNCER IN THE FACE.

If, by some act of God Mitchell is unable to convice the Ol’ Ball Coach to reconsider, reshirt freshman Chris Smelley will get the nod.  Please please Stevie, don’t put Blogfrica in the position to make Smelley/Cock jokes so early in the season.

 Blake, for failing to pull yourself out of bed for what had to be either A History of Badminton, Floral Design, or just Class Attendance 101, for causing me to have to listen to Steve yip yip yip yip yip on the TV more than anyone ought to, for disgracing one of the finest places for watching bar fights tumble into bushes (in 2001), and for this FANTASTIC mug shot, you are hereby: 

 

UPDATE: Since the publishing of this post, USC has announced the arrest of Safety Emmanuel Cook on Gun charges.  This probably will include a suspension from pre-game warmups from the OBC.