Marlins, It is now time to GET OFF THEIR LAWN!

The Rockies Aaron Cook threw 7 2/3 last night of great baseball pitching and the bullpen helped him close the deal on a 5-hitter in South Florida. Why is this a story? Because, as you may know, SoFla residents (see: Latinos and Geezers) aren’t very interested in baseball.

The attendance at the contest was estimated at less than 3000.

After the jump is a list of other activities groups of 3K SoFla residents were probably doing during the game.

• Bingo
• Plan, assemble, and perform a successful escape from Shady Acres (between naps of course)
• Suddenly break into a Salsa dance party covering one city block
• Smuggle stuff
• Take up both lanes of I-95 from Vero to Pompano at 43 mph
• Pick thongs on Miami Beach
• Buy Wicker
• Become confused
• Yell at the TV in the Common Room

Am I saying the days of good baseball are over in South Florida? Yes, yes I am. Miami (Gardens) is not a baseball town. Never was. Hell, they play in Dolphin Stadium!

In 2005 when relocation was discussed, there was a long list of supportive mayors, fans, states and cities that wanted the franchise. To name a few:

• Las Vegas
• Portland
• Charlotte
• Orlando
• Monterrey, Mexico
• New Jersey
• Norfolk, Virginia
• San Antonio

I can see 2 or 3 realistic success stories in this list. But that’s not the point. It’s time to give Miami (Gardens) back to whom it belongs. The blue-haired ladies and the Club scene.

Is having fewer than 3000 fans at an MLB game enough reason to relocate the team?

Bingo.