Sweet Dreams of Punching Bouncers and Groping Strippers

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When I grow up I’m going to be just like Ron Mercer.  First I’m going to play at the University of Kentucky and win a national championship.  I’m going to work real hard, be a major contributor on the greatest college basketball team of all time, and then I’ll get drafted in the first round.  It’s going to be awesome!  Then, mom, when my sub-par career is over….I’m gonna feel a stripper up, punch a bouncer in the face.  Then I’ll wait several months before I turn myself in.  I can’t wait to grow up and be just like Ron Mercer!

What you’ve read is correct and here’s proof….

Former University of Kentucky and NBA player Ron Mercer surrendered to Nashville police yesterday to face a misdemeanor assault charge stemming from a scuffle in a strip club in April, police said.

After an argument with a dancer, the pair were asked to leave and Johnson admitted to police that he stabbed a bouncer while Mercer punched another bouncer in the face, police said.

ron_mercer2.jpgIn many ways I have failed to grow up to be just like Ron Mercer. My college basketball

career did land me at the University of Kentucky, only I played for the Scrappin’ Marmots intramural league team (league champs in ’02). There are no Final Four MVP or Mr. Basketball trophies in my room. And on draft day my name was not announced in the first round or any round for that matter.

However, I now have found something Ron Mercer and I can share….

Ron Mercer is 31 years old so that gives me a few more years before I have to get arrested at a strip club. That’s right, all I have to do is grope a stripper, punch a bouncer and turn myself in 4 months later and I can finally be like Ron Mercer. Of course this will be my final act in the “Be Like Ron Mercer” chapter of my life.

The next chapter in my hero novel…..”Be Like Latrell Sprewell.”

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5 Responses to “Sweet Dreams of Punching Bouncers and Groping Strippers”

  1. TheGoldfishCowboy Says:

    This is the type of shit you just don’t get from Derek Anderson.

  2. Go Big Blue Cats - Kentucky Wildcats Basketball » Around the Web: Kentucky Style Says:

    […] Dreams a pudge is a sandwich describes growing up to be Ron Mercer. This after Mercer’s recent ‘Stripper and […]

  3. Stag Parties MN Says:

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  4. Purchase Salvia Says:

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