This Week’s T’d Up: Stephon Marbury, just trying to make the pink headlines

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Former athlete turned discount sneaker salesman, Stephon Marbury, has announced to his wife, mother, “agent” and the NY Post (where he blogs) that, at the end of his current contract, he will travel overseas to play “pro” basketball in Italy.

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Not only will Marbury be leaving New York with a $20+ million a year cap void, but the real question is, can he replicate the same kind of 56-108 success without Isiah Thomas?

Italian sports fans, after reading the news in their cute pink sports papers, had this to say:

“Mi Scuzi… Who?”

In Steph’s eyes, he’s just like another recent aging pond-hopper sportsman.

“I’m not just thinking of doing it, I’m going to do it,” Marbury vowed. “My wife loved it there. It’s like a [David] Beckham thing.”

Really, homey?  Let’s take a scientific approach to this topic after the hobbly sore-kneed  jump.            

Beckham v. Marbury

Latest Contract: Beckham $250 MIL – Marbury $100 MIL

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Advantage: Beckham

Age: Beckham 32 – Marbury 30

Advantage: Marbury

Quoted about their wives:

Marbury – “That’s my better half, my better ho…my better half… my wife.”

Beckham – “I always used to go for blondes and quiet girls, but Victoria is the total opposite – dark and loud.”

Advantage: Beckham (APIAS does not support Misogynistic slips)

Extracurricular Activities:

Beckham – Welcome Party hosted by Tom Cruise and Will Smith at the Museum Of Contemporary Art’s Geffen Contemporary in downtown Los Angeles

Marbury – NBA Ballers Bling Bling Mansion Party

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Advantage: Beckham (Gonna take a Ride. In. To. The. Danger Zone.)

And Finally, their Wives:

Victoria Beckham – 55 million records sold, TV Series, Fashion Designer, Author, Philanthropist, and…

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LaTasha Frieson – Wife of Stephon Marbury, and…

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Advantage: Really?

Starbury, for grossly over-estimating your star power and international appeal, for soberly agreeing to write a blog for the New York Post, and for that stupid fucking Coming to America Prince Akeem mustache, you are hereby:

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T’d Up is a weekly column that runs on Fridays selecting, in our humblest of opinions, the biggest sports Tool of the Week.

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12 Responses to “This Week’s T’d Up: Stephon Marbury, just trying to make the pink headlines”

  1. burnsy Says:

    Can I call BS now on The Italian Job starring Stephon Marbury or do I have to wait until his contract is up?

  2. BobWicket Says:

    Vait a second, vait a second. A man has a right to change his name to whatever he vants to change it to, and if a man wants to be called David Beckham, dammit, this a free country, you should respect his vishes and call the man David Beckham.

    His mama name him Starbury – Ima call him Starbury.

  3. TheGoldfishCowboy Says:

    burnsy – duly noted, you may go ahead and call it

    bob – You ain’t never met no Martin Luther the King.

  4. eDayStat Says:

    In a game of one-on-one I may actually take Damon over Starbury. That’s after Stephon blows out a shoe.

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    i dhtarim im esht bekami me pelqesh shum ne bot

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