This Week’s T’d Up: Jose Capellan, because you never forget the first little taste


In the interest of full-disclosure,  I am a Tigers fan.  I hate to do it, but it must be done.
Its not everyday you get the opportunity to acquire a world-class crybaby and insert him into a team and bullpen with probably the best team chemistry in the league.  But this week, the Tigs did just that.  Jose Capellan whined and bitched until finally Milwaukee dealt him for an A-ball pitcher.  The Fanhouse describes his last few months with the Brewers.

“He was demoted to AAA after spring training, demanded a trade, walked out on AAA Nashville.”

mmmmfunyuns.jpgDriving back from Chicago on Sunday, I heard caller after caller phone in to wish their farewell good-riddance to Jose.  One Brew-Crew fan had this lovely depiction:

“I would have let him go for a 12 pack of beer and some Funyuns.”

That’s what your career and talent meant to Milwaukee, Jose.  Dried, non-food in a bag available for less than a buck.

Well, all I have to say is don’t screw this up for me. 

Wait, wait wait.  Indians Series. First appearance.  Tuesday night.  Game one.  Extra Innings.  GWHR. YOU cost ME a SWEEP.


There’s still hope homey.  You threw well in the 10th.  Maybe you’re a one-inning guy.  God knows we could use one right now.  But let’s all hope that it works out better than the 1987 John Smoltz for Doyle Alexander experiment.

Jose, for causing the only loss in the would-be sweep of the Indians, for bitching like a baby for his bottle, and for making me gag a little by reminding me about Funyuns, you are hereby:


Now that I got that out, I hope you have a long, productive, friendship-filled career in Detroit. Don’t jack with Jimmy’s smokes.

T’d Up is a weekly column that runs on Fridays selecting, in our humblest of opinions, the biggest sports Tool of the Week.

2 Responses to “This Week’s T’d Up: Jose Capellan, because you never forget the first little taste”

  1. smoothron Says:

    How has the ugly baby not made an appearance yet?

  2. BobWicket Says:

    I would definately trade a bag of Funyuns for some ugly and/or scary baby.

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