NBA Draft Live Blog

2SL: 10:45  If you are just tuning in…please click on the title above and read from bottom to top so you can read in chronological order.  Thanks APIAS.net 

SR: 10:40 And the Finnish restaurant(s?) in Philly rejoice! That’s it folks. This first go of things was… interesting at best. But, it did keep me and 2SL interested all night. We thank you for joining, hopefully we’ll do it again at some point. Hopefully the NBA futures will be out soon!

2SL: 10:36 According to Mike Tirico first round draft picks also get plums. 

2SL: 10:34 One more pick to go in the first round.  Then its time to take this party to the bar. 

SR: 10:33 It pleases me greatly that Josh McRoberts is still sitting there right now. I will pray along with the Philadelphia Restaurant Association for Big Baby right here.

2SL: 10:30 Big Baby Davis is still left on the board…restaurants in Philadelphia are crossing their fingers. 

SR: 10:28 Last one, I promise. Jimi Hendrix has come back from the dead to play for the Bulls next year? Wow…

2SL: 10:24 The draft has gotten so boring Tirico has moved on to talking about the NBDL.  Next thing you know, ESPN will be showing WNBA highlights and scores. 

2SL: 10:17 The 28th pick will be announced shortly, lets go time warp and check out some former 28th picks…

 

Lotney “Sloth” Fratelli, Scott “I slept with Ashley Judd” Padgett, Beno Udrih and Priest Lauderdale.

(Its actually Greg Ostertag, I swear.)

2SL: 10:13 With the 27th Pick the Detroit Pistons take Jerome Bettis…..the rumor is that he’s actually from Detroit. 

SR: 10:12 Here comes a coaching rant…
Gosh dammit, I really hate that commercial with Durant and Arenas dribbling together. All they have is the attention of every 7-15 year old boy in the country. And what do they do? They dribble with their fucking head down. That’s all I need in life, another kid coming up in high school basketball who can’t dribble. Can we get a re-shoot? I bet Marco Bellnelli would look up while he dribbled.

Rant, out.

2SL: 10:06 This is the greatest moment ever for Morris Almond.  The senior was just drafted in the first round by the Utah Jazz, wait…..nope no longer the greatest moment ever.  Morris Almond like everyone else outside of Salt Lake City, hates Utah. 

2SL: 10:02 We’ve just passed our second hour of live blogging and we are growing tired, hungry and thirsty.  I can’t take another hour of Stephen A. Smith.  

SR: 10:01 Things are slowing down… greatly. David Lee does look a lot like our friend, Madison, though.

2SL: 9:56 The Trail Blazers just got the 24th pick and the Suns got straight cash homey. 

2SL; 9:54 The Knicks go with Wilson Chandler, probably a good pick there.  Unlike years past there’s not much to say about that.  Derrick Byars is still on the board, and I like his game, he will be a very good pro before his career is over. 

2SL: 9:50 If it’s not Frank Young I like Dane Bradshaw or Sheray Thomas as possible choices for the Knicks in the first round.  Hell, Smoothrons got as good a chance as anybody of getting drafted by the Knicks.  Afterall he went for 10 and 12 in rec league basketball 15 years ago. 

SR 9:50 The Knicks are on the clock! No matter what they say, I say they take Frank Young. Who is Frank Young, you ask? Much like Renaldo Balkman, he is the NIT Championship MVP!

2SL: 9:46 Rod Thorn is excited to draft a player “with a brain.” And Rip Torn is excited to have Will Smith AND Tommy Lee Jones fighting aliens. 

2SL: 9:44 Rod Thorn on ESPN or Rip Torn on FX…life is full of tough choices. 

SR: 9:43 And down goes Doleac! Down goes Doleac! Jason Smith traded to Philly. Sorry, Mike. Maybe if you start smoking weed, Jason Williams would hang out with you. Cruel world though.

SR: 9:42 Jim Gray just talked to James Woods about the Lakers…?

SR: 9:37 The Heat take Jason Smith, a huge whitey from Colorado State. Michael Doleac is the happiest man in Miami right now, as he finally has someone to go out on the town with.

2SL: 9:33 Got the 21st pick coming up, so lets take a look at a few guys taken 21st overall in years past….

 

Jon Barry, “Everybody Loves” Dickey Simpkins, Pavel Podkolzine and fan favorite Blue Edwards.

SR: 9:32 The Lakers select Javaris Crittenton. Sasha Vujacic must not be the point guard of the future for them like everyone thought he was.

SR: 9:27 The Warriors took an Italian shooting guard. Apparently, he just told Zinedine Zidane that he fucked his sister.

SR: 9:25 Hold on. Are the Trailblazers about to be a legitimate franchise again? I’m looking at a starting five with Francis, Roy, Outlaw, Aldridge, and Oden. And they have Jack and Frye backing up? Congratulations, Portland, let’s start printing playoff tickets!

SR: 9:19 And the Warriors are on the board. I’m guessing they’re taking 2SL’s mother (see last post x2 for humor).

2SL: 9:18 And the Warriors are on the board.  I’m guessing their taking a whore (see last post for humor.) 

SR: 9:17 And the Warriors are on the board. I’m guessing someone that scores, and doesn’t play defense?

2SL: 9:14 The Knicks will be getting Zach Randolph, Dan Dickau and Fred Jones.  That’s a great deal for the Knicks, congrats Isiah, you are 1 for 332 batting a stellar .003.  Spike Lee likes it and Stephen A. Smith is yelling about it. 

SR: 9:14 The Nets will supposedly take Sean Williams out of BC.. er… “Real Life.” Nothing like a guy who loves to smoke pot getting motivated by Mr. Motivation himself… Vince Carter!

SR: 9:07 And the Pistons take Stuckey. Well, they’re going to be “stuck-ey” with him for the next three years. Boo, I know. Boo.

2SL: 9:04 Philomenia Thornton….looking good mama, looking good. 

SR: 9:03 The Pistons HAVE to take Nick Young here. Let’s hope their “promise” to Rodney Stuckey (who the fuck is Rodney Stuckey?) doesn’t mess this up.

SR: 9:01 Now, I have figured it out. The Bulls selected… Layzie Bone!

I know, it’s getting out of hand.

2SL: 8:55 “He does everything but shoot the ball,” said Jay Bilas about Julian Wright.  Isn’t that a pretty important part of the game.  If he doesn’t shoot the ball shouldn’t people have picked up on that during his workouts.  New Orleans has asked Julian Wright to never shoot the ball, just pass, dribble and rebound. 

2SL: 8:51 The 14th pick is just around the corner so lets take a look back at some former 14th picks…

 

Clyde the Glide, Thunder Dan, Walter Berry and Yinka Dinka Dare.

SR: 8:50 The Sixers just took Thaddeus Young over Al Thornton. That’s why they suck. Thornton is undoubtedly one of the most NBA-ready guys in the draft, and the Sixers take a less agressive version of him. Good job Billy Hunter, you blow.

2SL: 8:44 The Hawks can change their jerseys and team colors every game if they want but its like they say, “you can put a dress on a pig but at the end of the…the hawks still suck.” 

2SL: 8:36 Jay Bilas just called a goofy 7 foot white guy “not a great athlete.”  Wow Jay, way to bring some in depth analysis to the draft. 

SR: 8:33 Hmm, the Kings just took Spencer Hawes. A white guy who couldn’t lead his team to the NIT. The NIT!!! Sounds like the perfect guy to be taken under Ron Artest’s wings.

2SL: 8:30 Who’s gonna draft that other guy who played for Florida?  Oh….he was white.  Congrats Lee Humphrey, you just became the perfect trivia question. 

SR: 8:27 And with the 9th pick, the Bulls select… Macy Gray!

Shameless, I know.

SR: 8:15 Anderson Varejao looked real pissed that Corey Brewer just got taken 7th in the draft? What’s the deal with that?

Wait, what? Who? Oh… now I get it. Cool bow-tie.

2SL: 8:13 The 7th pick is coming up…lets look back at a few former 7th overall picks…..

 

 The Blunder from Down Under, The Tarp, Vinnie “The Microwave” Johnson and of course UGLY BABY! 

SR: 8:10 Between 2SL’s Len Bias comment and all the things I am thinking during this Yi interview… see you in hell.

2SL: 8:06 Speaking of shitty commercials how about one with Yao and Yi saying yo and yi back and forth so many times nobody knows what the fuck they are selling. 

2SL: 8:04 That was a terrible commercial break, here’s hoping the next break includes my bff Jill and Tina and the caveman getting back together. 

SR: 8:00 If the Bucks take Yi, there could be an incident. A big one. Like, we might be hanging this
in our schools soon.

SR: 7:56 Actual conversation that just took place:
2SL–Who’s the worst #2 pick ever?
EDay (Yes, he joined!)–I don’t know? Shawn Bradley?
2SL (giggling)–Nope, Len Bias!!
(groans)
2SL–Well… they didn’t get anything for it!

SR: 7:51 Do the Grizz take Conley? I hope they take Jeff Green just to fuck up the Celtics trade for Allen. I would actually respect the Grizzlies a lot afterwards. Please, please do this.

2SL: 7:48 The Atlanta Hawks draft forwards like the Detroit Lions draft wide receivers. 

SR: 7:47 Atlanta is about to take Horford. How stupid. Aren’t he and Shelden Williams the same player?

SR: 7:45 A trade! The Celtics are getting Ray Allen. Now, they are going to have two 30-plus disgruntled shooting guards. Hmm, well… at least they didn’t get rid of Jefferson. They are a six-seed at best next year in the East.

2SL: 7:39 How confident do you feel after the first overall pick, the guy that is supposed to “own” the paint and dominate the league just put hand sanitizer on his massive hands so he didn’t give David Stern his cold??? 

SR: 7:36 Oden. Surprise, surprise. I love the fact that the Trailblazers organization just stood and applauded themselves in their “War Room.” Congrats, you did the easiest thing you’ve ever done! Way to go, guys!

SR: 7:34 We’re about to start! Stern said New York is home to the Liberty. Hilarious. By the way, the soundtrack tonight is provided by the All-American Rejects. I’m not by any stretch a fan of theirs, but I’ve heard they are emo. I doubt they were sitting around in their garage ten years ago, “Hey, maybe one day we’ll be the background music for a sports draft of a bunch of young black kids who don’t even know who we are!!”

2SL: 7:28  Only two minutes away from the first pick.  All of Poland is pulling for Lukasz Obrzut (Woo-Kosh Orb zoot) to be the overall number one pick…

 

2SL: 7:14 Dick Vitale and Stephen A. Smith disagree on something…..maybe they should step outside and figure it out.  Don’t worry, we’ll still be able to hear both of them inside the studio.  Jay Bilas can’t even wash Mel Kiper Jrs jock strap.

SR: 7:11 During the pre-game, Jay Bilas just said, “This draft is really like two drafts in one.” Um, excuse me? I have no clue what that means. Perhaps I should have gone to Duke. Anyways, let me give my schpiel about this draft… Everyone keeps talking about how deep this draft is. I just don’t see it. There are obviously some guys who will flourish at this level. I just don’t see the depth. Everyone seems to have major flaws in their game. Al Horford and Joakim can’t play back to the basket. Yi… haha, let’s move on. Mike Conley Jr. has been playing with Greg Oden forever, how will he handle the separation? Jeff Green can’t play in a big game. Brandan Wright looks like he eats out at the Ethiopian buffet. Spencer Hawes slowed his team down last year. Okay, rant over. Let’s shorten things up from here on out.

2SL: 7:02pm  Did anybody see Joakim Noahs bow-tie during the opening montage?  What the hell is that thing, you’d think a future NBA star and son of a pro tennis player wouldn’t have to buy the bow-tie my great grandfather gave to Goodwill 10 years ago.

SR: 7:00 PM Folks, folks, folks, tonight on APIAS.NET we will be live-blogging the NBA draft here at the abode of Smoothron and Secondstorylloyd. It’s our first go around on this whole thing, so like she said during the first time… “Be gentle.” If my first time is any indication, this may not last long. Anyways, stick around. By the way, 2SL just asked, “Is it too early for a Chris Benoit joke?” Should be fun.

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