TWIRS: If Only It Were Sunday

 

Yesterday, the PBA announced their 2007-2008 tour schedule.  Tour stops this year include the standard Brunswick, NJ; Indianapolis, IN; and both Las Vegas and Reno out in the desert.  One of the more odd places where they will be hosting a tour event this year is Miller Park.  That’s right, the same place where the Brewers are trying desperately comfortably holding off the Cubs for first place in the NL Central will host a PBA tour bowling event. 

I’ll tell you how this thing is going to work after the jump.

Wow…I’m absolutely speechless about this.  Apparently, it take workers 48 hours to construct four bowling lanes (mostly along the right side of the infield dirt).  How does this work though?  Does Bernie Brewer have to slide into the beer mug every time they bowl a strike?  If so, I think Bernie will be drunk and pissed by about the third frame.  And seriously, how can any of them get that good smoky-goodness in their shirt that they have to lie to their wife about when they get home.  When it’s all open air, it just becomes to easy to smoke a pack of Camels and breeze home with just a squirt of fresh-breath.

The prize for winning the 2004 event was $100,000.  That’s right, someone won one hundred THOUSAND dollars for bowling in a tournament.  How could they give up so much prize money you ask?  Easy, ticket prizes range upward to $75.  People actually pay $75 to sit and watch people bowl.  You can’t make this stuff up folks.  For $75, you and your buddies can go rent a lane and shoes for 2 hours, buy about 20 beers, and not have to worry about people finding out that you went to a bowling lane as a spectator.

So there you have it sports fans, strap on your Etonics, lace up that wrist brace, and put on your favorite shirt with your name on the back.  Because you’re going to need to go big on October 28th to win a share of the reported $330,000 prize.  You may think you can roll my friend, but when Jefferey Lebowski and Walter Sobchak hit the lanes, you’ll need more than your fancy ball shiner.  You’ll need courage…and possibly a flak jacket.