This week’s T’d Up: William John Donovan Jr, single-handedly lowering the unemployment rate in Florida

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They just keep making it easy for me. In a hot-flashy whirlwind of emotion (fellas, you understand the reference), Billy “I’ll-Have-The-Steak-No-The-Chicken-No-The-Steak” Donovan has resigned twice and taken two jobs this week. You’d like to think that a Melvin so well respected, even by APIAS, is in more control of his mental faculties than to string along so many fans like this.

And sportsfans, it is you who were wronged here. From UF fans going from despair, to uncertainty, to worry, to curiosity, and finally to confusion about the future of the “program”—to UK fans thinking they might just land that smarmy little point guard that Clyde had been after for so long—to Magic fans (assuming they exist) thinking they are finally on the upswing, making the playoffs, having 3 young stars and room to go after Vince Carter… it’s the die-hards and the supporters that have been done the injustice.

Nobody gives a shit if Billy D makes 1.7 mil or 2.9 mil or 5000 hotdogs to coach basketball. The fans are interested in the future of the object of their loyalty and dedication. The hours they spend tailgating, driving to and from games, buying pay-per-view contests that will no doubt be blow-outs just to see your guys run the floor. That’s what the fans care about.

When you’ve got Dick Effing Vitale writing to your aid in print media (I can only imagine Homer Simpson sitting at a typewriting machine banging the TAB button hoping for a beverage), that’s when you’ve hit a new level of embarrassment.

Billy, I am surely no Florida fan, and I am surely no Magic fan, but I do love my own teams wholeheartedly and can understand exactly what it is you’ve done. It’s time for you to take your position seriously… and not for your players or staff (who by the way, also deserve it) and not for your family (who I’m guessing is about sick of all this right now) but for the hundreds of thousands of sportsfans that you represent and lead.

For undeservedly tugging the heart-strings of so many, and for making the whole college sports world that much more skeptical, you are hereby:

callingouttools.jpgFlorida Magic

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7 Responses to “This week’s T’d Up: William John Donovan Jr, single-handedly lowering the unemployment rate in Florida”

  1. BobWicket Says:

    5000 hotdogs to coach basketball. How many Stanley nickels does that equal?

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    i think that depends on the strength of the yen

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