This week’s T’d Up: Chris Jessie, can’t keep his hands off balls

T’d Up is a weekly column that runs on Fridays selecting, in our humblest of opinions, the biggest sports Tool of the Week.  

What better way to trumpet the triumphant return of the Weekly T’d Up column (and the end of the pain-in-the-ass cat-herding that is organizing blogger Pick’em) than to point and laugh heartily at the single craziest College Football bowl  moment I have ever witnessed.

For the six of you who don’t already know, Mack Brown’s step-son Chris Jessie, who plays tea-party coach support staffer for the Longhorns, attempted to pick up a LIVE BALL during last night’s Holiday Bowl.  He realized mid-reach what he was doing, jumped out of the way,  and shamefully waddled to the back of the bench area looking for a hole to crawl in.

Story at 11…. I mean after the “get off my back dad or I’ll” Jump…

The game remained halted at the 12:40 mark in the second quarter while the referee,  booth officials, and what I imagine had to be several chimpanzees thumbing through rulebooks trying to decide how to continue play.  After 2 failed ball placements and negotiating between whether it should be First or Fourth Down, they settled on 4th and 3 from the 7.

ASU scored on a nifty one-handed catch (of course) and Jessie buried his head in his hands, squatting behind D-Linemen on the Texas bench.

Now Chris, yes, you were encouraging your team and only seemed to notice the ball as it was rolling toward your ankles… honest mistake anyone could make.  Here’s my thought though… STAY OFF DAMN THE FIELD!  Leave the ball-grasping to the players, coaches, and refs.

Support Staffer Jessie, for failing to know your role, for using a poor infield stance, and trying to make it all better with a Pacey-apologizes-to-Joey-for-screwing-everything-up-again face, you are hereby:

Now kindly punch yourself in the face.

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• He’s got maahhbulls
• Oh, Chris Jessie.