Rutgers To Change Slogan To Bangin’ Pole

Last year Coach Greg Schiano started a slogan for the Scarlet Knights that helped carry them to their first bowl victory in school history. That slogan: “Choppin’ Wood.” We here at APIAS.net believe that a good motivational slogan can carry most any team to a bowl game.

In that spirit, Rutgers has started a fan site where the Knights faithful can vote on their favorite replacement slogan. Okay, so they haven’t, but they should. We’ll go in depth and share a few of the options we think should be included in a poll for this subject.

More motavational double entendre after the jump…

“Poundin’ Box” This is probably the most natural way to go. Pounding and chopping both destroy things. Boxes are a derivative of wood. It’s perfect. Also, it begs for fan participation. Can’t you just see the two drunk frat boys now? One dressed as a giant box, the other beating the holy Hell out of him. It would be high comedy.

“Bangin’ Pole” Again, very similar to the choppin’ wood. Banging also has a tendency to break things. Poles can be made from wood and the goal posts are made from poles. Crowd chants of “Bang That Po-Ole” followed by 5 stomps on the bleachers would be staples of every game at Rutgers Stadium.

“Hewin’ Rubber” 2SL insisted on this one, but we still think it’s terrible.

“Cuttin’ Cock” C’mon, not that cock. We’re thinking they use this one only against opponents of the water-fowl variety. For example, let’s say South Carolina makes a decent run and finishes second in the SEC East. Rutgers finishes up in the top of the Big East. Maybe they come together and that chant that made the administration turn crimson in week two is quite apropos.

“Beatin’ Speed Bags” This is an excellent one for motivation. A real boxers mentality can help when the kids get down late in the game. Tell them to keep punching and never let down your guard and all that cooshy bullshit. What this really does is teach the kid a little lesson about the birds and the bees. It lets them know a few of the more tender things in life. Young men need to know these things.

Well, there you have it folks. If they ever actually get a poll up, go there and vote. Let your voice be heard, and maybe, just maybe, you can go to the old ballpark in Piscataway next year and scream “Let’s Bang That Pole!” and not be thrown out.

(Editor’s note: go to http://marine.rutgers.edu/~sikes/extruder%20pole.JPG to see the full-size pole picture. No, I’m not joking, it really is from rutgers.)